You Tell Me.

ash345 said:
those of us who had bad child hoods... the #1 reason why... hearing audist parents... not having access to the language that should have been ours... but people who were raised with sign... their childhoods differ drastically from mine... my niece for one... she is having a great child hood! why... her mom is learning to sign and not FORCING her to try and be hearing... that is the difference.
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Surely ash, you can't believe that sign alone would give someone a good childhood? In fact, I would argue it would lead to the, "sheltered one" Banjo thinks I've had. At some point, that child is going to have to deal with hearing people on their level not hers.

IMO, it would lead to a different childhood(perhaps as you stated), but I don't think it would shield her from the realities of childhood. I don't think other children would treat her better because she signs. And, that is the reason I wouldn't be happy about it, as is the topic of the post.

I'm glad your niece is doing well. And, I certainly hope she does have a great life.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
Surely ash, you can't believe that sign alone would give someone a good childhood? In fact, I would argue it would lead to the, "sheltered one" Banjo thinks I've had. At some point, that child is going to have to deal with hearing people on their level not hers.

IMO, it would lead to a different childhood(perhaps as you stated), but I don't think it would shield her from the realities of childhood. I don't think other children would treat her better because she signs. And, that is the reason I wouldn't be happy about it, as is the topic of the post.

I'm glad your niece is doing well. And, I certainly hope she does have a great life.
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Are you speaking from experience as one who was a deaf child?
 
VacationGuy234 said:
Surely ash, you can't believe that sign alone would give someone a good childhood? In fact, I would argue it would lead to the, "sheltered one" Banjo thinks I've had. At some point, that child is going to have to deal with hearing people on their level not hers.

IMO, it would lead to a different childhood(perhaps as you stated), but I don't think it would shield her from the realities of childhood. I don't think other children would treat her better because she signs. And, that is the reason I wouldn't be happy about it, as is the topic of the post.

I'm glad your niece is doing well. And, I certainly hope she does have a great life.
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I have to refute this. I have a good friend at my Deaf church. He was born Deaf and raised by hearing parents. When his parents got the diagnosis, they learned ASL and also whatever sign was in Cuba (ASL?). Family moved to the US legally when he was 4. He was raised with sign only. Never learned to speak. Never forced to take speech therapy or "lip-reading" classes. He went to the FSDB and then Gally. He still does not speak. He had a very happy childhood and has a very happy life. He is not upset with his lot on life. He doesn't feel like he lost out. He has 7 brothers and sisters and they all learned ASL. His wife is Deaf. She went through the horrors of forced speech, and family who did not want her and shipped her off to be adopted out. She will not talk about her growing up at all because it was so horrific and painful.
 
KristinaB said:
I have to refute this. I have a good friend at my Deaf church. He was born Deaf and raised by hearing parents. When his parents got the diagnosis, they learned ASL and also whatever sign was in Cuba (ASL?). Family moved to the US legally when he was 4. He was raised with sign only. Never learned to speak. Never forced to take speech therapy or "lip-reading" classes. He went to the FSDB and then Gally. He still does not speak. He had a very happy childhood and has a very happy life. He is not upset with his lot on life. He doesn't feel like he lost out. He has 7 brothers and sisters and they all learned ASL. His wife is Deaf. She went through the horrors of forced speech, and family who did not want her and shipped her off to be adopted out. She will not talk about her growing up at all because it was so horrific and painful.
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If I understand you correctly, you are saying that ASL is the solution and as long as you shelter your children they will have a good childhood(real is debatable), correct? Furthermore, you are saying that if you don't you will/could have a horrific and painful one, correct?

OK, your point is taken. Perhaps there are some who can exclude themselves from real world situations in life, but I would think that is a very small world.

I'd be interested to know, off topic, how his adult life compares to his childhood. Does he work at Gally?

To be clear, fair and not give the wrong impression, I don't hate hearing people. And, I don't think hearing people create bad childhoods. The childhood itself(being deaf) is just not an easy one and I wouldn't wish it on my kid.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
If I understand you correctly, you are saying that ASL is the solution and as long as you shelter your children they will have a good childhood(real is debatable), correct? Furthermore, you are saying that if you don't you will/could have a horrific and painful one, correct?

OK, your point is taken. Perhaps there are some who can exclude themselves from real world situations in life, but I would think that is a very small world.

I'd be interested to know, off topic, how his adult life compares to his childhood. Does he work at Gally?

To be clear, fair and not give the wrong impression, I don't hate hearing people. And, I don't think hearing people create bad childhoods. The childhood itself(being deaf) is just not an easy one and I wouldn't wish it on my kid.
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He is not working at Gally. He has been working for the last 12 years at a local recycling division. He moved up and is in management. HE was not sheltered at all. He was surrounded by family, friends and many, many people. To give you an ideas about this, he grew up in a predominate Latino community. There's no sheltering of the children, teens or anyone in a situation like that.

And no, I do not say that ASL is the only answer and that the children should be sheltered. They should be allowed to grow and prosper and have lots of exposure and friends. If they can learn speech, then fine, but it shouldn't be forced onto them.
 
If you've never seen this, watch it. He could have had a VERY crappy childhood, but the life and energy coming from him is truly inspiring.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE]LOOK AT YOURSELF AFTER WATCHING THIS.mp4 - YouTube[/ame]
 
I think the key is an inclusive environment. If the child is deaf, that means ASL (or the sign language in that country).

Inclusive means being able to understand the people around you and not be left out of the little things in life.

For most deaf, this means Sign Language. For some HOH, this may be a mix of sign language and speech/lip reading. For some perhaps they can find happiness in pure lipreading, though I do not share this sentiment.

This is not to say that someone who had a terrible/sad childhood is a sad person today. Rather to say that their quality of life is enhanced by growing up in an inclusive environment.
 
Bottesini said:
Captions?
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You can open this in Youtube and use the audio captioning, but it sucks for this video. this video has been around for a few years, I remember listening to it before I lost my remaining hearing... He is very inspiring. Especially to teenagers that think their lives suck and finally realize there is someone that has a much worse life and is way happier than they think they will ever be.

Sorry I cannot provide a caption for this as I think it would be worth while.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
You take what I said as sarcasm, but it is not. If you have some good childhood posts, I'd truly like to read them.

You are the only person I've encountered, if you have grown up in a hearing world as deaf, who has told me they've had a good childhood.

Yes, my truth is true to me.
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VG, I think, based on posts here at AD, it could be quite easy to get the impression that all deafies growing up in a hearing world had a troublesome or angst-filled childhood. The reason being, many threads are about the validity of problems encountered growing up deaf in a hearing world and educating others to try and minimize these problems over future generations. However, the deeper you dig, the more you find stories of positive childhood experiences but they are much more diverse and, therefore, scattered about the site - growing up deaf amongst deaf, deaf amongst hearing, deaf with HA or CIs, deaf in deaf schools, mainstreamed deaf, etc. Although it is far easier to focus on the negative commonalities (challenging or frustrating experiences) because even great childhoods encompassed some of these, it does not mean there aren't numerous examples of deafies having enjoyed great childhoods overall. :)
 
VG:

My childhood was not great, it was lonely and intimidating being around audist parents and family members, I was mocked and beat up, etc. This is true for many of us, and I envy those that had happier childhoods.

If my children were born deaf, would I be upset? Not really, considering the resources available to the deaf today. (There were some resources available back then, but many of us were not given any).

But, at the same time, I would be somewhat disappointed for one reason: The job market is still limited for deaf people. We may have many laws like ADA, etc, but that is not going to make employers more open to hiring deaf workers. I don't want to see my children go through the hell of convincing employers that they can do it.

Like Botts said, it is the fear of the unknown that makes hearing parents upset, which is understandable.
 
My friend has a child with Downs Syndrome. When she told me that she was going to have the baby, I said, "This is a baby and we should be happy about a new baby." She said that I was the only person who reacted that way. Babies don't come with a warranty. A parent accepts the child she's given.
 
If my child was born deaf, I wouldn't be upset.

There are a lot of people out there who take their own lives for granted that if something different were to happen, it throws their whole life into chaos.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I'm deaf and I would certainly be upset if my kid were born deaf. Honestly, being deaf and growing up in a hearing world is NOT what I would personally want for my kid. It makes me cringe to even think about it.

So, I find it amazing that anyone who has gone through what I've gone through would not be upset about it too. It just defies logic to want someone you love to live with that kind of discrimination.
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I am hoh and I was very worried that my baby would be born hoh , I did not want my child to go thought life not being able to hear and having a hard in school like I did! I was also so happy my grandchild was not born hoh as my audiologist said there was chance that the baby could born hoh.
 
I can still hear the audiologist telling me that both my kids had a hearing loss. they were 3 & 4 at the time. I had suspected it before, but never really dwelled on it.

When I had no response, the audiologist was quite puzzled and asked if I understood what he had said. I said yes, you told me my kids have SNHL and they got it from me and they are hard of hearing, right. He said yes and was I upset about it at all. I asked why should I be since I was born hoh as well and that I was deaf at that point. He was kind of shocked that I didn't fall apart like some of the parents. The people before us, just wept and screamed and had to be escorted to another room to calm down.
 
sallylou said:
My friend has a child with Downs Syndrome. When she told me that she was going to have the baby, I said, "This is a baby and we should be happy about a new baby." She said that I was the only person who reacted that way. Babies don't come with a warranty. A parent accepts the child she's given.
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You are so right! You know, I heard of a couple who didn't tell ANYONE their child had downs syndrome until he was about 6 months old... not even their family. They wanted everyone to learn to love him and know him before they just thought of him as "the kid with downs syndrome." I think that is beyond awesome.
 
I'm hearing, and yes, I would be sad if my child is deaf. I would be sad because I know that not everyone in my family would learn ASL, and maybe my baby would miss the fun of chats with my favorite aunt or have trouble communicating with Grandma. I would be said because my friends don't know ASL either, and my child would miss communication with them. I would be sad because I love meeting people from other cultures, and if they are just learning English, how can they communicate with my deaf child if they have trouble chatting with me? I would wonder if my child would be sad when my husband and I jammed as we played keyboard and guitar... I would wonder what my child's future would be like, since it would definately be different than mine.

I mean, I wouldn't melt into a pile of sobs or anything... but sad? yeah, I would be sad.
 
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