You Tell Me.

VacationGuy234 said:
. And, I don't think hearing people create bad childhoods. The childhood itself(being deaf) is just not an easy one and I wouldn't wish it on my kid.
Click to expand...

You could say that about almost ANY minority though. Would you want your kid to grew up gay or lesbian? They have a lot of issues and don't have easy adolesnces.....but I know someone who came out at 15, and thought she was going to be lesbian for LIFE. She was REALLY into the identity.....and then she fell in love with a guy when she was sixteen or seventeen and was ALL confused etc.
 
Frisky Feline said:
Why are some of the certainly hearing parents get upset when they learn about their baby being deaf WHILE some of certainly deaf/hoh parents get not upset when they learn about thier baby being deaf?

So what is the difference between hearing parents and deaf/hoh parents about their reactions of learning about baby being deaf.

Why can't Deaf/hoh get upset that their baby being deaf? Sure some of them are upset but from what it is common knowledges that they are not upset about their baby being deaf. They have been through all their PERSONALexperiences facing in the majority of hearing world and still not get upset about their being baby. Hearing parents have not had any experience with deafness and STILLget upset about the deaf baby.

Same thing, vice versa with Deaf parents of Hearing Kids' reaction as well as Deaf parents of Deaf kids's reaction.
I wonder. :hmm:
Click to expand...

I was talking about this a bit with my best friend who has Asperger's Syndrome. We don't understand why a lot of parents are devastated when they find out that their baby is "different" We're not talking about babies with severe or profound mental issues......but stuff like dhh, blind/low vision etc. Granted we do live in a society where we expect perfection....and where parents want designer high achiever babies.
 
deafdyke said:
You could say that about almost ANY minority though. Would you want your kid to grew up gay or lesbian? They have a lot of issues and don't have easy adolesnces.....but I know someone who came out at 15, and thought she was going to be lesbian for LIFE. She was REALLY into the identity.....and then she fell in love with a guy when she was sixteen or seventeen and was ALL confused etc.
Click to expand...

I'd want my kid to grow up with the least amount of obstacles possible because there are enough of them in the world already.

I think you'd find it's a mix in the gay community too, some gays would be OK with it and others would rather not have their children deal with it. Same situation.
 
We chose to adopt our son. We knew he was deaf before we adopted him. We are hearing and yes we were excited!

Regardless of our excitement love and amazing son we were immediately bombarded with crazy difficult educational choices, strong opinions from both hearing and deaf...family, friends and total strangers. This can make hearing parents upset...trying to make the best choice for their child.

The other thing to make us upset was showing up at the deaf program at our school and all the kids have cochlear implants....they are hearing and speaking with their families....where is a child for my son to play with who knows AsL.....where is his community?

The hardest part is communication with cousins, grandparents, (siblings and parents have been learning for over a year now) who do not learn ASL and find it not important....I know it's a lot to ask....but makes you sad that they cannot communicate clearly. I could just say their loss...but it is my son's loss too.

So I can see a parent being worried....we were prepared and have had overwhelming decisions to make and always second guessing ourselves.
 
For me, I would worry about whether I can deal with a baby who is deaf when I cross that bridge.
 
VG, there are always obstacles. Some people are born with them. Some people acquire them later on. Some create their own just to make themselves feel important.

It's how you deal with them that matters. And those that learn that lesson earlier are much better equipped for life.

(And really, is deaf that bad?)
 
mbrek said:
And really, is deaf that bad?
Click to expand...

:lol:

Well, if you spoke to my parents, grandparents, neighbors, and doctors back when I became deaf at 4 years old, it was the end of the world for them. Even my grandmother would not come near me for fear of becoming deaf. :roll:

5 different doctors told my parents that I would not lead a productive life, and recommended that they send me away to an institution.

..sometimes I wonder if I belong in one right now...:eek3:
 
mbrek said:
VG, there are always obstacles. Some people are born with them. Some people acquire them later on. Some create their own just to make themselves feel important.

It's how you deal with them that matters. And those that learn that lesson earlier are much better equipped for life.

(And really, is deaf that bad?)
Click to expand...

It's not deaf that's bad it's the world we live in!
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I'm deaf and I would certainly be upset if my kid were born deaf. Honestly, being deaf and growing up in a hearing world is NOT what I would personally want for my kid. It makes me cringe to even think about it.

So, I find it amazing that anyone who has gone through what I've gone through would not be upset about it too. It just defies logic to want someone you love to live with that kind of discrimination.
Click to expand...

Live life with the glass half empty or half full?
 
vacationguy234 said:
surely ash, you can't believe that sign alone would give someone a good childhood? in fact, i would argue it would lead to the, "sheltered one" banjo thinks i've had. at some point, that child is going to have to deal with hearing people on their level not hers.

Imo, it would lead to a different childhood(perhaps as you stated), but i don't think it would shield her from the realities of childhood. I don't think other children would treat her better because she signs. And, that is the reason i wouldn't be happy about it, as is the topic of the post.

I'm glad your niece is doing well. And, i certainly hope she does have a great life.
Click to expand...


Wow..you have no idea about the Deaf community, do you?
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I'm deaf and I would certainly be upset if my kid were born deaf. Honestly, being deaf and growing up in a hearing world is NOT what I would personally want for my kid. It makes me cringe to even think about it.

So, I find it amazing that anyone who has gone through what I've gone through would not be upset about it too. It just defies logic to want someone you love to live with that kind of discrimination.
Click to expand...

sorry to hear you see a glass half empty. I'm opposite though. any obstacle I'm faced with... I overcome it and I lol'ed because many hearing people don't take effort to overcome it.
 
mbrek said:
VG, there are always obstacles. Some people are born with them. Some people acquire them later on. Some create their own just to make themselves feel important.

It's how you deal with them that matters. And those that learn that lesson earlier are much better equipped for life.

(And really, is deaf that bad?)
Click to expand...

bingo - it's how you deal with it. It's all about having the right attitude.
 
I been thinking about it a lot in the last few days. Really, not only parents get upset after finding out that their baby is deaf, it's about disability in general that they get upset or in a shock. Family have to make a dynamic change for the rest of their life. It's not going to be an ordinary family life, it's more of challenging life. They will have to start studying of how to raise this child, and teach child's sibling of how to adapt with this "disability", hunting for right schools or services and such. It's time consuming work for this child. If deaf parents found out that thier child have LD, I'm sure that they going to get shocked and have no experience with LD. They going to have to adapt it and how to work with this child. This child is hearing LD, will this child learn ASL fluently? Maybe not, it's going to be harder for them to communicate.

So, everyone always have a dream of having a beautiful baby with all 10 fingers and toes, cutesy face and such, then, once baby born and find something is wrong.. their dream shattered. It's because they have an high expectation and their dreams of having beautiful family... then it's not.
 
FF, the part of your question makes me think like why do some Deaf/HoH parents who are being accepted with their deafness and have the pride with their deaf identity BUT get their Deaf/HoH babies implanted with CI?!?
 
katz4life said:
FF, the part of your question makes me think like why do some Deaf/HoH parents who are being accepted with their deafness and have the pride with their deaf identity BUT get their Deaf/HoH babies implanted with CI?!?
Click to expand...

Yes some of them feel that the kids would take advantage of having both, speaking, signing and speaking so can interact with anyone if they keep taking kids to the speech therapy and in training as much as kids can. Once Kids get older and can decide to use either for their conivenient commuicate method to be fit into world. we will know more and more about deaf kids with ci like we have a few kids here who have ci since they were toddlers. they seems to be comfortable the way their lives go.
 
Back
Top