Wrestling with Angels

Status
Not open for further replies.
teamint said:
However, I could not figure any other way to comply with the lumping of 'hearing people' into one group. And there does seem to be a real perceived dichotomy. If we take the 'parent' post from this one, for instance: it was not titled, "Annoying ignorant people stories." So, I think that there might be a hearing-specific frustration/anger/etc. If I am wrong, please correct me, because I am making the conclusion on limited data.
Click to expand...
Well, the other thread is about frustrations based on how hearing individuals treat others due to their deafness. Usually most would stem on individual representations, but it's possible some of them are from groups of individuals. I would hope there are no motives in them either. Nonetheless, it is faulty logic to assume that hearing people are of homogeneous backgrounds. I don't think anyone in the thread is trying to attack all hearing people; they are naming specific events that peeve them.

There are certain cultures that treat minorities/disabled on equal grounds. I've read sentiments about the Al-Sayyid natives, for one example. The disclaimer is that I have not met them personally, just going off what I have read: that they treat all members of their community, deaf or hearing, based on equal premises.

teamint said:
<nodding> I think I sort of understand. But, if someone is deafened later and didn't know Deaf culture before being deafened, I imagine in might be hard to accept it if they don't know anything about it. Maybe? And does it end up being a source of conflict? Say, for example, like the black kid raised by a white mom in a white suburb who is neither "black enough" nor "white enough" to fit in?
Click to expand...
If you stick around awhile enough, you'll start to to see those types of people that feel in neither worlds who are looking for a group to call their own. An anomaly, if your medical presumption might label them as, but I prefer to feel they are a group that has no devotion to either sides. As of the moment, I don't think there's enough to substantiate a "hard of hearing culture" as there are none, yet.
 
The Spouse

Frisky Feline said:
Same here. i am curious about the spouse's experience with deaf culture that helps me to see why teamit is doing it.
Click to expand...

Actually, coincidence works in strange ways. My lady's interest in the deaf community started with her passion for autism and all of the earth shattering implications autism has for human communication barriers and differences of perception.

ASL, very very rudimentary ASL, was something she started learning to better communicate with "our" "boys". (Two young autistic nonverbal brothers that she and I often worked with in her premedschool job as a careworker.) I'll try not to blather on about the boys too much, but knowing them and loving them and their absolutely incredible parents turned our world inside out. For the better.

In med school, she was extremely fortunate to partake in an experimental program that brought in an ASL instructor who was also Deaf. Her job was to help the hearing medical students learn to better communicate with patients using basic ASL and also giving tips on how to better understand the cultural barriers that can sabotage the doctor-patient relationship. This instructor was incredible... she was charismatic, mischievous, wickedly intelligent, and she was a superior teacher. To our great disappointment, the stupid school decided not to continue the program past the second semester.

We started practicing ASL at home. (I am terrible at it. My lady has a gift for nonverbal expression. I understand a great deal more than I can sign.. my hands are so clumsy! I watch her with great envy. But we know that our skill isn't too far beyond what a small child would be able to manage.) It wasn't until AFTER all of this, and a few very unpleasant arguments, that I was diagnosed with otosclerosis. I was shocked... I went for a physical and failed my hearing test.

Looking back, I don't know how we missed it... I can't have a conversation in a restaurant... can't have a conversation or understand it if there's a TV or radio on nearby... had developed a tendency to angle my head to my "not as bad" ear when I was having trouble understanding... and I had noticed that a lot of people were mumblers! Ah... denial.

My doctor tells me that there is a very good chance that I will lose most of my hearing eventually. I honestly don't know how I feel about that. I'm too introverted to integrate into MAINSTREAM culture... any culture really... I am a very accomplished wallflower and observer... but I'm a terrible joiner. Too awkward. Too afraid of people touching me. Too easily overwhelmed by the stress of social interaction...

I know that we will continue to learn ASL, mostly for the beauty of the language... but also because it's likely to be necessary in our future. My experience of deaf culture is limited by the fact that I'm still more hearing than not. I feel like I'm in this weird in between place where I get to experience many of the frustrations of HoH, but I can still "pass" in the hearing world. For now. (I just wish I could just get my mom to turn her stupid TV off when I'm trying to have a conversation with her! For a woman who's best friend is Deaf, my mom has all of the sensitivity of a boiled turnip sometimes!)

And, for the record, my spouse is definitely arrogant. You should try playing Scrabble with her. Smirking Machiavellian obnoxious creature... :giggle: Memorizing all of the two-letter words in the dictionary is CHEATING I say...

But seriously... she's a literal creature. She's also extremely curious and insatiable for insight. It's like being married to a tall blond female version of Mr. Spock, if that gives you any insight. :laugh2: I adore her utterly.
 
Mrs-teamint said:
I don't think so... Would you describe it?
Click to expand...

It is Signed Language for the deaf and blind. Let me find a youtube video (hang on)

Haven't found any "good" videos yet of tactile sign, but here is one concerning children learning sign:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV69iJuXwP4&feature=player_embedded#!


ok .... looked and looked ... I can't believe there are no videos of tactile sign users

here is info about it:

http://www.aadb.org/factsheets/db_communications.html
 
Mrs-teamint said:
And, for the record, my spouse is definitely arrogant. You should try playing Scrabble with her. Smirking Machiavellian obnoxious creature... :giggle: Memorizing all of the two-letter words in the dictionary is CHEATING I say...

But seriously... she's a literal creature. She's also extremely curious and insatiable for insight. It's like being married to a tall blond female version of Mr. Spock, if that gives you any insight. :laugh2: I adore her utterly.
Click to expand...

Hehe, I drive my husband absolutely insane. H: What color is that house? Me: It's white.....on this side I think I actually saw that vein on his forehead come up that time. He adores me, too. I don't understand how. I know how frustrating I am. :crazy:
 
Steinhauer said:
It is Signed Language for the deaf and blind. Let me find a youtube video (hang on)

Haven't found any "good" videos yet of tactile sign, but here is one concerning children learning sign:

Through Your Child's Eyes: American Sign Language [Subtitled] - YouTube!


ok .... looked and looked ... I can't believe there are no videos of tactile sign users

here is info about it:

How do Deaf-Blind People Communicate?
Click to expand...

Thank you!!! I liked the links on the youtube page too. My mother's best friend is Deaf. She was never introduced to ASL as a child because her parents were determined that she learn to lipread. They wanted her to be "normal"... She is an accomplished lipreader, but her voice is accented when she speaks. Her parents were angry that she wasn't able to erase her deaf person "accent". Lipreading is so hard to do... and she really tried so hard to please them... but she could never be what they wanted her to be.

I simply can't imagine looking into the trusting eyes of your baby and wanting anything other than to connect with them in whatever way they need you to. If my child had a communication disability that required everything be expressed in Haiku... well then I'd darn well start practicing Haiku. I would, no doubt, really stink at it... I loathe poetry in all its forms. But I have seen the harm of placing foolish self-projecting expectations on a child... I would love Haiku for helping me connect.

And ASL is SOOOO much better than poetry;especially to a visual creature like myself. :D

I admit, the challenge of deaf/blind signing is quite intimidating... I find ASL beautiful but so fluid and so FAST! I can't imagine trying to process sign without the full benefit of my eyes. I see also on the link that technology plays an important role for many people as well. I already freely admit that I prefer to text than talk on the phone... it's so much easier!

Thank you again!
 
Jalestra said:
Hehe, I drive my husband absolutely insane. H: What color is that house? Me: It's white.....on this side I think I actually saw that vein on his forehead come up that time. He adores me, too. I don't understand how. I know how frustrating I am. :crazy:
Click to expand...

Yes!!! Exactly! What an... eerily good example.

The adoration comes first, BTW. The instances of quirkiness, frustrating as they can be, simply reinforce her uniqueness. And since that's part of what I love, despite frustration, I wouldn't willingly give up a single moment. :ty:
 
Jiro said:
aw... ignoring me? :aw:
Click to expand...

No, of course not! Just wasn't sure what to say. I mean, not all docs/nurses are the same or learn the same or have the same interests. <shrug> My intentions are always respectful. But I do tend to poke and prod... <nodding>
 
Grayma said:
Well, one of the things that confused me is why Teamint seemed to feel that I was angry with her. I wasn't upset or annoyed at all. I just disagreed.
Click to expand...

<grin> I didn't think YOU were angry.... there were some angry voices there though. You and me, we were just talking. Right? :)
 
Mrs-teamint said:
And, for the record, my spouse is definitely arrogant. You should try playing Scrabble with her. Smirking Machiavellian obnoxious creature... :giggle: Memorizing all of the two-letter words in the dictionary is CHEATING I say...
Click to expand...

IT IS NOT cheating! The board is prettier all filled in like that.... :naughty:
 
Mrs-teamint said:
Yes!!! Exactly! What an... eerily good example.

The adoration comes first, BTW. The instances of quirkiness, frustrating as they can be, simply reinforce her uniqueness. And since that's part of what I love, despite frustration, I wouldn't willingly give up a single moment. :ty:
Click to expand...

<scowl> Stop being mushy in public! You are ruining my reputation!
 
naisho said:
There are certain cultures that treat minorities/disabled on equal grounds. I've read sentiments about the Al-Sayyid natives, for one example.
Click to expand...

This group I do not know about! <grin> I shall read! There were some examples of similar, even in the earlier US cultures in this fabulous book by Oliver Sacks...
 
I appreciate your time, mrs-teamint. I can see that teamint is so stubbornly curious about it. As long as she reads more of everyones experiences here then she ll get it. all is good here. :)
 
This is funny. It stopped being about Deaf Culture and started being an exercise for a couple of posters trying to develop their social skills.:laugh2:
 
Waterboy said:
This is funny. It stopped being about Deaf Culture and started being an exercise for a couple of posters trying to develop their social skills.:laugh2:
Click to expand...

That's because at first I was making an effort to help and then I got so satisfied over finding someone who understood me...I'm really bad at hijacking threads when I find some pretty big common ground like that. I wonder if there's a forum for Dr. Spock types....

I'll behave myself! lol
 
Now if the Deaf people can just get someone to understand what they are saying, everything will be great!:D
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top