Would you forgive your boyfriend when he cheat on you?

[GarnetTigerMom]

I went thru the same thing. I begged and asked him to tell me. I kept seeing him wearing her shirts. he denied it. the more he stayed away from home and spending the night at his best friends house, etc. I knew he is up to something. I was not dumb but he said no then i found the note in the pants when i was doing the laundry. that hurts. he was cheating on me for almost 3 months while I was pregnant then grieving for the death of my twin sons. losing the kids and ex bf same time. i dont want to go thru that ever again.

Now he said he regret putting me thru that and wished he didnt do that to me in first place. Well its too late but i forgived him for that but I WILL never forget this ever. hard not to.

that was the horrible and darkest time of my life.

Ouch, Giving you a big hug. So sorry that he put you through that. I know forgiveness is always such a hard thing to forgive a cheater.

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

I will not forgive him if he cheats on me, because he will do it again anyway.

Same with this, she cheats on him and there is no forgiven for it.

Yep, can blame you there. Definately not, that to me would show that he was not thinking of me during that moment, even if drunk, no excuse. Screw me once and you're out, that's just me.

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

Would I forgive my bf when he cheats ? The answer is yes, I would -- but, I will break up with him and remain friends. He will never have my relationship again after cheatin'. Once cheatin', the trust's done damaged.

I agree there because cheating is the worst way a man can hurt a woman emotionally speaking. I can tell you this, though: Moving on would be the EASY thing to do, but it would take time for the pain to go away.

 

[Pepsi]

For me I would not forgive because I can never forget.

 

[Awauphi]

Ouch, Giving you a big hug. So sorry that he put you through that. I know forgiveness is always such a hard thing to forgive a cheater.

thanks. hugs.. yeah its hard.. especially letting him back in my life and the result is TJ.. but found him lying again .. said one thing and anothers. never can make his mind up.. forget it..

now he is trying to get in my pants again. sighs. i otld him he cant eat two cakes same time. it doesnt work. Oh well!

it sucks.

 

[shel90]

Awww - hugging all of you who have been hurt by cheaters.

Thanks...I am not hurt anymore. I have moved on and have a much better marriage than I did with my ex. I always felt beneath him and was always apologizing him for everything that went wrong. In that marriage, "everything was my fault." Also, whenever I expressed my feelings, he always brushed me off. Wasnt a healthy marriage so I am kinda glad he cheated on me because I was so blind to our marriage problems. It was like a wake up call for me.

 

[Maria]

I agree there because cheating is the worst way a man can hurt a woman emotionally speaking. I can tell you this, though: Moving on would be the EASY thing to do, but it would take time for the pain to go away.

Right!

BUT, the question is : Would a boyfriend forgive his girlfriend for the same reason, too ?

I think both parties have the same problem. No one is perfect but, sometimes, people have to learn the hard way by losing someone they love, because of their mistakes. They should stop and think first before doin' somethin' soo stupid.

 

[shel90]

Right!

BUT, the question is : Would a boyfriend forgive his girlfriend for the same reason, too ?

I think both parties have the same problem. No one is perfect but, sometimes, people have to learn the hard way by losing someone they love, because of their mistakes. They should stop and think first before doin' somethin' soo stupid.

Funny u mentioned that cuz throughout my marriage to my ex hubby, he always threatened me with serious consequences if I should ever cheat on him. Well, it turned out that he did the cheating and yet, I lost custody of my daughter to him. Is that sick?

 

[Awauphi]

Wow thats fucked up.. dang..

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

Right!

BUT, the question is : Would a boyfriend forgive his girlfriend for the same reason, too ?

I think both parties have the same problem. No one is perfect but, sometimes, people have to learn the hard way by losing someone they love, because of their mistakes. They should stop and think first before doin' somethin' soo stupid.

Good one, I have often noticed some guys who have girlfriend get revenge. A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old fashioned sex? After all, Karma can be a b*tch, you know. I guess that It boosts their ego.

 

[Matilda]

Thanks...I am not hurt anymore. I have moved on and have a much better marriage than I did with my ex. I always felt beneath him and was always apologizing him for everything that went wrong. In that marriage, "everything was my fault." Also, whenever I expressed my feelings, he always brushed me off. Wasnt a healthy marriage so I am kinda glad he cheated on me because I was so blind to our marriage problems. It was like a wake up call for me.

Shel ... your story is just like mine with my ex. He did the cheating and of course, I was the last to know. I was the one to keep making a go of the marriage but it wasn't to be. I was too timid to stand up for myself at that time as I would either get clobbered or verbally abused. When he cheated again ... that was it! so I moved in back with my parents and got divorced. I didn't realized until later that I was relieved! It took a while to trust anyone again and have happily remarried.

 

[Maria]

Funny u mentioned that cuz throughout my marriage to my ex hubby, he always threatened me with serious consequences if I should ever cheat on him. Well, it turned out that he did the cheating and yet, I lost custody of my daughter to him. Is that sick?

Yep, once a person said something to someone he or she loves, it is always them, not the other person they threat. Karma tends to follow the LAST person who hurts their lover, or spouse, or signifcant other....once, it follows, you will be able to notice " problems " will increase or pop up in their life.

I've watched others havin' their problems growing in their life while I am sittin' back and relax --- worryin' nothing. They ask for it.

About your situation with ur ex hubby... yes that is sick. He wasn't being honest with you about himself. Is that called " love " ? I think not.

 

[Maria]

Good one, I have often noticed some guys who have girlfriend get revenge. A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old fashioned sex? After all, Karma can be a b*tch, you know. I guess that It boosts their ego.

Heh Karma can't fool with " good ". Good is too strong for Karma to go after. Don't mess with " good ", otherwise Karma will mess someone's life with many problems showin' up. Their ego don't last.

 

[JClarke]

Funny u mentioned that cuz throughout my marriage to my ex hubby, he always threatened me with serious consequences if I should ever cheat on him. Well, it turned out that he did the cheating and yet, I lost custody of my daughter to him. Is that sick?

Sorry, off topic - Do you see your daughter much sometimes, since you lost the custody ?

 

[Matilda]

^ you read my mind again! Jake ... yes, Shel, do you still see your daughter much at all?

 

[shel90]

Sorry, off topic - Do you see your daughter much sometimes, since you lost the custody ?

Jake and Ozzie...I saw her every other weekend for 3 years after the split and then I had her for 3 years cuz my ex went back to school and I had just finished school. Now, my ex and I live only 15 mins away from each other so we share custody of her. She is here at home with us now.

 

[Awauphi]

thats wonderful to hear, shel. whew.

 

[Phillips]

I would not forgive !!!!

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

Heh Karma can't fool with " good ". Good is too strong for Karma to go after. Don't mess with " good ", otherwise Karma will mess someone's life with many problems showin' up. Their ego don't last.

Heh,, you right that Karma can go the other way around. But you right also that their ego don't last too long. It really sad that men feel they had to cheat to get some good sex. I guess they don't realized when you are with someone already and in love, what the use in cheating? sad huh. Breaks my heart u know.

 

[Sexy Babe]

Cheater will always be cheater.

I know the feelings. I have been with my ex husband, who I was married for 12 yrs even been gone through abusive, too. He was not honest to me, when my puppy found a woman's underwear under my bed. I got so hurt and suspect that he is up to something. I never told him what I found and all. Never told him til I see it in my own eyes finding the prove of real truth from what he is doing. Then one late night he worked at McDonald and came home late as He was supposed to be home at 11 pm, but came home 2 am in the morning.. He was trying to sneak in bed hopefully that I would not wake up. But I was wide awake and waiting for him to come home. I told him, where have you been ? He was acting weird and said oh I was at the lake and need some time to think of something. I was like what something in your mind ? He said just nothing. But confessed to me that he caught cheater couple were having sex at the lake as he saw it by accident.. HUmmmmm.. That sounds like he was having an affair.. When he tell me the stories about it, he said I knew those couple. They are having an affair and he knew that person is married. I got reallll funny guts feelings knowing he wasn't being honest to me. He even started getting online real late chatting with someone. I sneaked up one night and caught him masterbating in the real webcam of other woman, he was chatting with and she was masterbating in front of him on the web cam. I knew he was not faithful to me. He have been doing it over and over. He accused me of having an affair. But I didn't have an affair in my own home with this faithfully marriage. Til I finally separated from him several times and been with other men. He would say you have an affair and all that. I just let him go. Later after I left him for many reasons.. He was dating with my bestest friend, but I will not give out the name bec this person is also member of this A.Dcom. I warned her about him and all. She never listen to me til few months she moved in with him, while we were separated and that she was secertly enaged with him. Well, I let her go and told her that one of the day that she will learn her mistakes and will want me to be her friend. Month to month have passed.. She was going through what I went through and later he disappeared to out of state without her knowing. She got the strange feelings and that she decided to trip to see her mom, while he is out of state. But things didn't get along with her mom and family so she drove all the way home to be with him. When she came home.. She saw van parking up the drive way and never saw it before. So she walked in and found 3 women were chatting. She said who are you ? and all. They told their names and where they from and asked who is she ? She told them, I am Bill's Fiance. They were soo quiet and act weird. She noticed that the pictures of him and her are not there, the computer screensaver have changed and all. She asked them where is Bill ? They were sooo guilty and told her that he is in bedroom with other woman. So she walked up there and found him with other woman and asked him who is this woman and all. He was denied that it is his friend and trying to welcome them to spend the night was all. She had the weirdest feelings and said are you having an affair ? he looks nervous and said no. But she kept on push the button over and over til he lost it. He told her that they are going back to Okla tonight and she asked if she could tag along with him and them ? he told her no that she should stay home. So he asked her if he could borrow her car drive to Okla. She was too smart to say no. So the next day, she contact me through yahoo im and told me everythings and I told her that it is nothing that I can do about it. She begged me to come up and have a talk. So I went up to see her. I felt soo weird bec that was my home and my ex to be. I could not believe what he have done to her. But knew that will happen to her. So she packed up and left him the next day or 2. She brought my dog to me and told me that there is no one else to watch or feed him. So I got him with me. Couple months later the lady from Okla got pregant with Bill's baby. But we don't know if that was his or that lady's ex to be's baby. Longggg stories... I am thankful that I am divorced to him and had a wonderful marriage and got my best friend back together. We are so closer than we were before. So now that lady from Okla is married to him and she have to go through hell abusive life. Tisk.. We tried to warn her about him, she never listen. So nothing we can do about it and keep our hands off.

So If my man cheat on me in my own face, he will end up stick my shotgun in his arose and be shot. He will be forgiven, but will never forget and he will never have me again in this kind of relationship. Cheater will always keep cheating, no matter how much you gave him chances or forgive him, He will keep hurting you.