Would you ever date/marry a hearing person?

I married a hearie

I am married to a hearie. He does know enough sign language, but since I grew up into hearing family that refused to learn sign language ( my father's side of the family), so I read lip pretty well. Granted, we have had our ups and downs in our marriage and we will be celebrating our 10 years anniversary this coming June. Communication is the key as a few pointed that out and that is so true. I see it that it is not just for deaf/hearie marriage, but ANY marriage. whether it is deaf/deaf, deaf/hearing or hearing/hearing. I think ALL marriage's key are the communication and trust too.

Yes there are time I get left out when there's family gathering, but you wanna know how I stopped that? I brought in a few deaf friends of mine, I want to say about 5 years ago? There was a cook out at my in law's and I asked if I could bring a few friends and they were like SURE!! so I did. There were 6 of us, me including. We all sat down and talked ( or should I say Signed) all night with no voice and I could see a few of the people's expression like they really really wanted to know what we all were talking about. Next day, my husband goes So what did you all talk about? I go " ohh, now you're interested in what we talked about? I guess you couldn't understand us huh? He goes yeah it was hard trying to figure out what you all were saying. I said " Well, I guess you got my message?" He goes HUH? I go, now you felt you were left out right? He wouldn't admit it at first, but eventually he did.. I said well, now you know how I feel when I am at one of those gathering. then he told his parents and they realized everything and now they really make a point to make sure I knew what was going on. My Mother in Law would actually tell people half way in their conversation "Hold on, I gotta look at her so she can read my lip" and she would repeat things to me to make sure I got everything"

:)
 
very very very interesting to read everyone's opinion. For me, forget it about dating with hearing. I have a huge communcation problem with my ex gf. She had disability called Cerebral Palsy like me. I thought it would be a great common match but found it was not match becuase of communcation. She never want to learn ASL. I was mad with her for used on my damn money. I was piss alot.

now. I am single. I perfer dating with deaf woman. I never want to date with any hearing womam ever again. It was waste my time to try teach ASL to hearing woman.
 
Because i can still hear fairly well and read lips and am very oral i have no problem dateing hearing people but i do prefer deaf or hard of hearing everyones right it does make things just go alot smoother and i don't have to really try to work as hard plus it seems that alot of hearing guys get turned off as soon as they find out i'm hoh
 
Hi all, I m married a hearing man. we will have 10 years anniverisity. He know sign language very well. He never leave me out in our family or friends. He make sure that I know what going on with their conventions. I never leave him out if we are in deaf groups.

I had ex husband who is deaf. He was so creep because he cheated on me many times. He didnt keep his jobs. He always quit before search for other job. I had to work two job to support our lives. I decide divorce him without know he was cheating on me. I will never want date any deaf guys because I see them being not mature. They hang out with my ex.

I found my man and he is very strict about job. He never quit many jobs. He work for coca cola for 12 years. We are very happy together. Of course we still are struggling. We dont let anything bother our marriage.
 
I am married to a hearing man for 5 years. Before we were married, he was my best friend. I am trying hard to understand the Deaf Culture and the different aspects. These types of topics confuse me because I was brought up, that if you love the person, why should alittle thing stop you from marrying them. Wouldn't that be like if I were to say I was told not to marry a person who had their legs amputated because we wouldn't be able to dance? I understand communication is a large reason. But it does take two for a relationship, work on both sides. Just because he (or she) may have a different culture, does not mean that you will not get along. This could possibly broaden your world.
 
:) I myself am hearing, a CODA, raised by deaf parent's, and sign ASL fluently. I married a deaf man, we have been married for 27 years now. We have 2 hearing daughters, who both sign fluently, and we just adopted a little deaf boy in March. Communication is very important. When we go to his Mom's house, no one there signs, and my husband becomes very bored, because he is the only deaf person in the family. So, I will sign to him what they are saying, but, it isn't fair to him that they didn't bother to learn to sign for him. So, he doesn't go as much to his Mom's house, because he would only watch TV. He says why bother? I can watch TV at home. It's a shame when a person won't sacrifice their time to learn ASL to be able to communicate with someone who is deaf.
 
I dated with alot of hearing people. But honestly, I rather deaf guy since Im with my Sequoias now, he and I talk to each other fine, everything great between of him and me better than my ex(hearing) and I was together since I dont talk and read the lips that well.
 
of course, I have many hearing friends that they are homosexual... I love them.
 
I am still married to hearing man for 24 years, been together for 28 years now. I still love him so much and he with me. We communicate with each other very well. Many deafies thought he was deaf but not. He learned sign language fast but not able to know every aslers because of their different level of communicate.

Right now he is having hard time to using his right arm to sign to any other deafies because of shoulder injury at work he got it years ago. Using his left arm make him clumsy.
 
StampinDiva said:
I am married to a hearie. He does know enough sign language, but since I grew up into hearing family that refused to learn sign language ( my father's side of the family), so I read lip pretty well. Granted, we have had our ups and downs in our marriage and we will be celebrating our 10 years anniversary this coming June. Communication is the key as a few pointed that out and that is so true. I see it that it is not just for deaf/hearie marriage, but ANY marriage. whether it is deaf/deaf, deaf/hearing or hearing/hearing. I think ALL marriage's key are the communication and trust too.

Yes there are time I get left out when there's family gathering, but you wanna know how I stopped that? I brought in a few deaf friends of mine, I want to say about 5 years ago? There was a cook out at my in law's and I asked if I could bring a few friends and they were like SURE!! so I did. There were 6 of us, me including. We all sat down and talked ( or should I say Signed) all night with no voice and I could see a few of the people's expression like they really really wanted to know what we all were talking about. Next day, my husband goes So what did you all talk about? I go " ohh, now you're interested in what we talked about? I guess you couldn't understand us huh? He goes yeah it was hard trying to figure out what you all were saying. I said " Well, I guess you got my message?" He goes HUH? I go, now you felt you were left out right? He wouldn't admit it at first, but eventually he did.. I said well, now you know how I feel when I am at one of those gathering. then he told his parents and they realized everything and now they really make a point to make sure I knew what was going on. My Mother in Law would actually tell people half way in their conversation "Hold on, I gotta look at her so she can read my lip" and she would repeat things to me to make sure I got everything"

:)
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LOL!!! That's a good trick! My mom, dad and sister are deaf advocates, (they know sign language enough to be interpreters!) when we had convo going on in gatherings, they tend to interpret word by word on what went on. I often participate. My uncle (former C-5 Galaxy navigator, US's largest airplane) often talked about airplanes and I was able to enjoy talking with him through my immediate family. Your trick is good, I will spread it to others that has the same frustration.
 
LinuxGold said:
One wise advice: For successful marriage, communication is the key.

If hearing is willing to sacrifice his/her world for other, willing to learn sign language and make it a default language in the family, to participate other with his/her family *AND MOST IMPORTANTLY* intense passion into deaf culture then that will be *GREAT*!

I've seen a married couple, a hearing guy that knows sign language proficiently and yet made fun of deaf people "Wish I could not marry a deaf gal, I must be sooo stupid! Deaf people are retards!". He was very interested into sign language and all that, and his attitude eventually turned again deaf people because he didn't *LOVE* deaf culture at the first place.
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Ouchies ! That must be hurt..
 
Linda2001 said:
Would you or have you ever dated/married/ are married to a hearing person? How did that go? My father is almost deaf without his hearing aids and he is even pretty deaf with them in. He married a hearing woman. She and her family leave him out of most conversations. He sits there and smiles or reads. It is pretty sad. What are your experiences?

Linda
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Hub and I are together. He is hearing, I am hard of hearing. Sometimes life does get alittle complicated. But you know, our love carries us through thick and thin. He is learning ASL, he signs to our littlest. She is total communication (oral and ASL) because she is moderate to severe loss. Our middlest is also hard of hearing. Oldest is not, she is hearing. So, you see ~ we have quite a blend. I think if you are really willing to stick it out, and be able to "learn, and educate" about "deafness" that things will always work out. It's when like in our family, my inlaws don't understand the "deaf culture" and the way we work there is a "communication break down." And I am on the defensive because my child shows affection A LOT more and askes to give a hug 34 times in a day (that is just the way that she has been exposed to our deaf communication with deaf children). They are very huggy, and very affectionate. Should she be damned for that? Ofcourse not. I explained one night, that her ASL is her own. That when all seems unfair, and all seems cruel that somehow when you come back to ASL, and us as a community there is a "feeling of comfort and understanding." No more trying to defend yourself, or reason, or debate...just sensitivity and support. My hub provides that, with us. Does he stop his parents, or others from "attacking unknowningly the deaf community" I would say no because he doesn't understand. Well, my family does. My Dad, my Grandmother (she is a mom to me), my mom and as well as my deaf friends. Can love get you past that, I would like to think yes it can just as long as there is understanding and willingness to be educated. :angel:
 
I am married to a hearing man for almost 3 years but together for 4 years. However I known him for 7 years! :scatter:
 
Dated some hearing girls... they seemed okay in some ways. There was a communication issue in relationship. Somehow, we ended up as good friends after the date. I respect that.

All my life, I have been dated some deaf girls/ladies and some involved good relationships. Overall, I had great times with deaf girls better than hearing girls. Somehow I am more mature single guy but still happy who I am. Almost getting married but it didn't work out. I feel sometimes like missing someone(lady) I used loved with but accepted the loss.
 
I wouldn't have a problem being married to a deaf guy, I won't
explain why but it would be preferable since my hearing problem
makes most hearing people think I'm not listening to what they say.
 
:dunno: When you brought this issue up.. It did got me thinking hard. I was once with hearing guy who is father of my two beautiful children. He knew how to sign becuz he grew up with deaf guy that was his best freind. I had to break up with him due to his abuse of heavy drugs and his inability to control himself. I am currently with deaf guy. He is good to me and treats me very well. If I am to compare to both of them. I would say its same but different in few areas.
Its very hard for me to figure out. Some of you would say its becuz of communication. Actually it depends on whose personality shines thru to get to my heart. Some hearing guys can be so good to deaf.Deaf to deaf is good too. Some hearing are bad too as deaf guys too. It doesn't make any difference for me. Its all pointed out to personalility issues. :confused:
 
Any adult human being with well communication and love. :)

Other than relationship - anything come out with communication - lipreading, writing, body language, etc... :)
 
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