Would this have offended you???

T

txflower95

New Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2007
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
I recently went into a half price bookstore in town. I went looking for the book "Deaf Heritage" for my Deaf Culture class. I walked around the entire store looking for a section that had anything to do with cultures, languages, or deafness. I couldn't find anything so I went to the front of the store and asked the woman who worked there if they had anything. She took me to the front of the store and told me she keeps anything that has to do with deafness in the area with "childhood diseases." I asked her if she realized that deafness was not an illness. She just disregarded my statement and said this is where I keep anything dealing with deafness as she tried to hand me a book. I refused to take the book from her and I gathered my girls and left the store. I guess my question is this. Am I wrong to be offended that she showed a complete disregard and lack of respect when I tried to explain to her that deafness was not an illness?
 
You're kidding! But, you're correct though deafness was not an illness. But, some of us lost their hearing through illness or injury or was born that way, there's many reasons, but deafness itself is not an illness, It's a matter of life. I know some would ask me if I have a disease because I'm deaf, WTF?!

I would have left the store too after screaming at her. Yes, that would even offended me because deaf is not an illness, I am not sick, I just can't hear that's all.
 
I don't think it was reason to be insulted. Some people just arn't taught. LIke I had NO CLUE about deaf culture till I got my job. I mean perhaps she was a little rude to have disgarded you the way she was. But I wouldn't have taken it as a huge deal. I would of been like.. 'whatever.. I'll save my few dollars on this book and never come back and tell all my friends how rude you were..." of course maybe it was just her? Maybe there are other people that work there that are nicer?? A bit more receptive you could say...
 
Maybe she was just pointing out where the books on deafness are for future reference? I don't really see a reason to be offended.
 
No, I wouldn't feel offended at all.. Perhaps she thought deafness came from a childhood diseases, but the way she was disregarded you, sounds quite rude to me more like she doesn't have time to listen what you had to say, so therefore, I would have left the shop myself too and go somewhere else where people who DO have the time to listen and is interesting in learning a thing or two about the deafness and their culture...
 
Offended

Some people are just rude, it would not matter who it is that is in front of them, they are just rude. I am very interested in history (particularly medieval history and the Middle Ages). Not too long ago, when I was in a bookstore and inquiring about a certain title "The History of the Middle Ages,". The clerk drew in this long sigh, rolled his eyes, pecked something into the keyboard and then said with total exasperation " Is that the name of the book that you want or is that a subject cause I am not sure what you want me to look for?," When I explained that it was a title that I wanted, he gave this tremendous sigh, did not even type anything into the computer and said "Well we don't have any books like that here,". Now, my first reaction was to hit him or insult him. In turn I just said "Well, I look on the shelves because I think that I would have better luck feeling around in the dark than I would asking you and walked away,".
The clerk was not really picking on me, he was just a lazy person and incompetent clerk that did not want to do his job. I could have made a complaint to the book store, but I figured with an attitude like that, he won't be working there much longer. Now,if I had been a deaf person, I can understand where such thing might have been percieved as someone who was being hostile to deaf people, but I bet if you were to ask around, other customers have probably had indifferent treatment at the hands of this particular person as well.
 
Rudeness and politeness are sometimes very slippery slopes to slide upon.

You see her as being rude and ignorant. What she told her friends and family about you might surprise you. Somewhere, we know not where or how, she learned what she believes to be the truth of the matter. If you had no other input and knew only what she knows you might believe exactly the same things she believes.

Her ignoring your remark may have been her way of politely trying to avoid arguing with some know it all who understood nothing of the issue.

In situations such as this I prefer the Aristotle approach, start asking questions.

"Why are books on deafness here?"

"Don't people ever become deaf later in life?"

"Is deafness is an illness?"

"Do deaf people consider themselves ill?"

And always remember to establish "How" a person knows something. I frankly believe "How" a person knows something is more important than what they know because it tells far more about the person and what they use as a referance.

The object here is not to change the person's mind as it is to get them to reconsider the absoluteness of their own beliefs. Perhaps the next time the subject comes up they will be open to new ideas -- Hopefully better ones.

The first question I would have asked the person who waited on snakeplissken22 is "Do you like books?"

Of course I must admit my questions are not always so gentle. I once asked a clerk if they felt everyone who walked in the door was an ignorant fool or if it were just me.

Without hesitation he replied, "Its just you."

Of course it might be a good idea to remember Aristotle was poisoned for asking too many questions -- But we don't have to worry about hemlock nowadays -- Somebody just pull out a gun and shoot you.
 
Wow it's very offend me that she disregarded. But keeping the books in that section, "Childhood Diseases" That means, they don't know about deaf culter at all, I feel pity for them. Of course, I felt a little offend about that but, just knew that they don't know a thing about that at all. They will learn more when they finds out. :dunno:
 
txflower95 said:
Am I wrong to be offended that she showed a complete disregard and lack of respect when I tried to explain to her that deafness was not an illness?
Click to expand...

People aren't always in the mood to be educated. Also, I've noticed that the major chains keep their books on deafness in that section, so maybe it's easier to keep books where people will be expecting to find them. That's assuming the woman you spoke to had the responsibility for organizing the bookstore. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.

It's funny, I think this is a recent change, because I remember going into Borders while I was in my ITP and finding books on ASL and deafness in the language section, and the last time I was in a Borders they were in the childhood illness section. Including books about Deaf culture. It's all very weird.
 
Last edited:
It's interesting that you bring that up, Interpretrator!

In my local Borders, they sandwich all ASL books and books about Deafness between Self-Help and Grief/Death & Dying. Even as a hearing person, I find that somewhat offensive; especially so because this particular Borders has a FANTASTIC foreign language section, taking up at least 8 shelves!
 
Umm what is a boarder? is this some sort of book store or something?...:dunno:
 
Angel said:
Umm what is a boarder? is this some sort of book store or something?...:dunno:
Click to expand...

Yeah, Borders is a pretty large nationwide bookstore chain. Not sure where you live, but they're EVERYWHERE here... them, and Barnes & Noble.
 
Thank You

I want to thank every one for their responses. I definately feel more educated now. I tend to be very sensitive to the needs and feelings of others and sometimes that tends to cause me to over react in some situations. However, I was not so offended at where the books were placed as I was at her attitude. The store was hers and I was confused as to why she chose to look at deafness the way she did. I pride myself in the willingness to learn new things and to accept corrections when I am wrong about something. I believe the store is run by the owners(the woman I spoke with and her husband). I do feel more educated in having read the responses from everyone. I will definately be more apt to look online first to find the books I am looking for before I go out and contend with people like her. I just can't possibly fathom the idea of snubbing someone who was trying to teach me something new. I guess some people are content to remain happy in their own ignorance.
 
^^^ we need more pp like you :bowdown:

Indeed God spits on bigots and kick them to lake of fire. :afro: :fruit:
 
I would be offended at her attitude but since I wasnt there so I cant make judgements. Did she have a bad attitude because she didnt want to be corrected or because she looks down on deafness?

As for the book being in "childhood diseases" really makes me laugh cuz there are millions of people that lose their hearing as they age so how is that related to their childhood? Some things u gotta laugh at. Cant take everything seriously but lots of :applause: for u to take the time to explain to the bookstore employee about deafness not being a disease. :)
 
The Aristotle Approach

I like that approach, not to mention that I like Aristotle. I feel that a persons IQ goes up at least ten points when reading his work .
 
shel90 said:
I would be offended at her attitude but since I wasnt there so I cant make judgements. Did she have a bad attitude because she didnt want to be corrected or because she looks down on deafness?

...
Click to expand...

That is the thing. People are rude or inconsiderate for a variety of reasons and not necessarily related to you as a person or even the subject matter you are dealing with. It is another way of saying that some people can't be bothered with something they could care less about.

I agree with Interpretator that don't be trying to educate the world and indeed pick and choose your battles. Life is a battle in of itself and you gotta enough worries without adding to it.
 
I find that small bookstores tend to classify things such as deafness, blind, etc. to be related to health sections. The store's probably not big enough to classify a whole section to deaf culture. So no, I would not be offended.
 
sr171soars said:
That is the thing. People are rude or inconsiderate for a variety of reasons and not necessarily related to you as a person or even the subject matter you are dealing with. It is another way of saying that some people can't be bothered with something they could care less about.

I agree with Interpretator that don't be trying to educate the world and indeed pick and choose your battles. Life is a battle in of itself and you gotta enough worries without adding to it.
Click to expand...

I think that trying to educate the world even if it is one person at a time is the way to make a difference. If we are going to change the view people take on deafness and the deaf community, it starts with one voice being loud enough to be heard above the others. Even if all I did was upset her as a holier than thou customer, she will eventually discuss it with someone and whether she believes it or not, she is being educated in a field that she might not have otherwise looked into. I don't stress over her reaction and I don't have the attitude that I can change the world, but I do believe that education is never a bad thing to pass on whether it is one person at a time or a classroom at a time. However I do agree that I don't know what was going through her mind when she disregarded me. She could have been in a hurry, or could have had something else on her mind and was ill prepared to have a discussion with me about it at that particular moment.
 
txflower95 said:
I do believe that education is never a bad thing to pass on whether it is one person at a time or a classroom at a time. However I do agree that I don't know what was going through her mind when she disregarded me. She could have been in a hurry, or could have had something else on her mind and was ill prepared to have a discussion with me about it at that particular moment.
Click to expand...

Agreed on all of that. I know an interpreter who gets very in-your-face when confronted with ignorant teachers and students, and it always bothers me because I feel that's the worst way to get someone to open up to learn something new. People as you said are usually very happy to remain ignorant, and while I totally agree that this should be seen as an opportunity for education, you also have to factor in all those potential barriers. People really don't like learning that they are wrong, so you have to put things in a way that their defenses don't go up. This is really hard.

My guess is this woman simply put the books where she learned to put them from other bookstores, and probably thought "who is this person to tell me how to arrange my store?" Heh, I just had an image of you and a bunch of deaf people coming into her store, pleasantly signing away, and all of you nicely asking to know why the deaf-related books are in the wrong place. That might take her down a peg!
 
Back
Top