Why would people want their children to be deaf?

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RabidLamn

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One thing I have been noticing a lot in deaf community lately is, how many deaf couple want a deaf child.

While I don't ever want any child (If you want to discuss this, start a new thread or send me PM) however if I do end up have a child, I would never want them to be deaf.

While I love my life and am really happy with everything and have a good life, I cannot say it is easy at all. There has been some of biggest dream that has been shattered because of my deafness. I've lose some opportunity because of my deafness. Social circle is rather odd. There's just so many things that I would never want my child to struggles with.
So that's why I am asking others.
 
Because they dont view the Deaf way of living as tragic.
 
Why wouldn't they? Hearing parents want their children to be hearing. **shrug**

No one's life is easy. Hearing status doesn't have anything to do with that.
 
Shel... Let me ask you something... If your child can be blind and in a wheel chair, would you pick that for your child? I bet you'd scream NO!!! Without hesitate. However there are some couple out there who want nothing more than for their child to be deaf. I want to know why they would want that.
 
I am a deaf guy and if I was ever to have a child, I want them to be hearing.

You can talk until you're blue in the face, but if you're deaf, there are just SO many lost opportunity that you will never be able to do and there will be some difficult in life that wouldn't happen if you could hear.
 
RabidLamn said:
Shel... Let me ask you something... If your child can be blind and in a wheel chair, would you pick that for your child? I bet you'd scream NO!!! Without hesitate. However there are some couple out there who want nothing more than for their child to be deaf. I want to know why they would want that.
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I cant speak for blind or wheelchair-bound people and judge their quality of lives. I refuse to do that. If my child was deaf, I wouldnt be devastated, to tell you the truth.


To anyone else.
*pls let me know if "wheel-chair bound" is offensive and I wont use it again.
 
A lot of times, I have heard, a deaf couple would prefer a deaf child so they can all experience the same thing. I have heard it's harder for a deaf couple to raise a hearing child. Just as it is hard for a hearing couple to raise a deaf child. There are struggles andf mountains to climb during the process. That's not to say that hearing/hearing doesn't have the mountains to climb, but they will be different types of mountains. Does this make sense. Being hoh when I had my children, it never crossed my mind to want deaf or hearing at all. Now that I am total deaf, if I were to have another child, I might prefer a deaf child, but I would never choose deaf only.
 
RabidLamn said:
I am a deaf guy and if I was ever to have a child, I want them to be hearing.

You can talk until you're blue in the face, but if you're deaf, there are just SO many lost opportunity that you will never be able to do and there will be some difficult in life that wouldn't happen if you could hear.
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No need to be such a pessimist.
 
RabidLamn said:
I am a deaf guy and if I was ever to have a child, I want them to be hearing.

You can talk until you're blue in the face, but if you're deaf, there are just SO many lost opportunity that you will never be able to do and there will be some difficult in life that wouldn't happen if you could hear.
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Your view. Not mine. Not gonna argue with you here but you cant change my view.

That's sad that you view your life that way...as a life full of lost opportunities. I used to live like that..it made me a miserable person. No thank you.
 
RabidLamn said:
Shel... Let me ask you something... If your child can be blind and in a wheel chair, would you pick that for your child? I bet you'd scream NO!!! Without hesitate. However there are some couple out there who want nothing more than for their child to be deaf. I want to know why they would want that.
Click to expand...

Blind and in a wheel chair has no cultural significance. Deafness does.
 
Kristina THANKS for giving a realistic and logical answer! I appreciate it! That's what I was looking for.

Yes I am not saying hearing person life is any easier. I am just saying that as a deaf person, sometime you will never have a chance to try something simply because you're deaf.
I find it interesting that you say deaf parent have easier time raising deaf child just like as hearing parent have easier time to raise a hearing child because my mom have two kids who both are hearing. I asked my mom about how hard it was to raise me compare to them, her answer was, it was a bit more complicated at first because it totally threw them off, but after that it was pretty much the same. May it is because I live in hearing world? *shrug*
 
Wirelessly posted

jillio said:
RabidLamn said:
Shel... Let me ask you something... If your child can be blind and in a wheel chair, would you pick that for your child? I bet you'd scream NO!!! Without hesitate. However there are some couple out there who want nothing more than for their child to be deaf. I want to know why they would want that.
Click to expand...

Blind and in a wheel chair has no cultural significance. Deafness does.
Click to expand...

Aye. I would like to have a Deaf child who would grows up with the same things I did-- travel the world, to treasure the Island as paradise, to be able to go out on the Prairies on a whim and walk around for a few hours before heading home. Too bad people can't do that anymore.

Only thing I wouldn't put him through is the speech therapies I received in middle and high school.
 
diehardbiker said:
I disagree, I ran into blind and other disablities and they DO have their own culture significant, you will be surprised.
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Well, I agree that they have things about their lives that they share in common and are comfortable with. And that they don't see themselves as disabled as people who are not blind and in a wheelchair see them.

But what I meant was, to be a separate culture, there has to be a shared language that is used to hand down cultural values and practices. That is what makes Deaf Culture recognized as a separate culture on it's own.
 
I'm not planning to have kids, I'm still 19... but if I ever want one, I'd adopt and I'd prefer to adopt a deaf kid because I'd teach him/her how amazing life can be and support him/her with the deafness. I'm HOH so it wouldn't be a problem for me.

x
 
RabidLamn said:
Kristina THANKS for giving a realistic and logical answer! I appreciate it! That's what I was looking for.

Yes I am not saying hearing person life is any easier. I am just saying that as a deaf person, sometime you will never have a chance to try something simply because you're deaf.
I find it interesting that you say deaf parent have easier time raising deaf child just like as hearing parent have easier time to raise a hearing child because my mom have two kids who both are hearing. I asked my mom about how hard it was to raise me compare to them, her answer was, it was a bit more complicated at first because it totally threw them off, but after that it was pretty much the same. May it is because I live in hearing world? *shrug*
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My mother has said that for her, raising my hearing brother was much easier. She is hearing, my father had a hearing loss in one ear and had excellent hearing with his one hearing aid.

I struggled with my children. Daughter is mild hoh, but it is more speech recognition. Son is moderate/severe loss. When they were little, there was no noticeable hearing loss then. I was unable to hear them. I was not aware of any deaf products for deaf people except hearing aids. I had no knowledge of anything for the deaf and hoh since my parents were told not to educate me at all. Mainstream and nothing else. I am now 47 and my kids listen to my mother more than me and I am still struggling to learn ASL. Other's here on AD have had some of what I went through, and seem to have done better than me. It must be me, but life is generally hard for me due to the way I had to cope while growing up and not understanding much of anything. It would have been better for me if I had deaf parents or parents who would seek the advice of more than 1 or 2 people.
 
I understand your concern, Deafness may be totally new to you and your in for shock and that is natural thing. I understand that you may not want to learn the new curve with Deafness.

For me, I rather have my kids being Deaf, two of my son that I love to death is hearing. I am having trouble communicate with them. Sometimes I wish they are Deaf and they would learn our own language thus open up communicate and this can be more fun.

On other hand, I see there is advantage of having hearing kids over Deaf kids. That is, when it comes to discipline them. Hearing kids are far alot easier than Deaf kids. BUT, there are disadvantage to having hearing kids that you may experience the same, that is when they are grown up they go straight to hearing world. Of course, not all cases are like that.
 
Thanks Souggy.

I remember receiving some speech therapy in elementary school. They want me to try it and... I really like the speech therapist because she was really nice and make me laugh so I look at it as a "recess" time and volunteered to attend. Then once I moved out of the area, the speech therapist was as dull as could be so I ask to be out of the program and poof! I never go back again.
 
RabidLamn said:
One thing I have been noticing a lot in deaf community lately is, how many deaf couple want a deaf child.

While I don't ever want any child (If you want to discuss this, start a new thread or send me PM) however if I do end up have a child, I would never want them to be deaf.

While I love my life and am really happy with everything and have a good life, I cannot say it is easy at all. There has been some of biggest dream that has been shattered because of my deafness. I've lose some opportunity because of my deafness. Social circle is rather odd. There's just so many things that I would never want my child to struggles with.
So that's why I am asking others.
Click to expand...


That's their rights if they want their kids to be deaf, just like their parents. No biggie deal. If I continue to have more kids, then I would look for a deaf kid to adopt so i can teach deaf kid everything and tell deaf kid not to be shame if they were deaf and show they can do anything except hear.
 
Wirelessly posted

RabidLamn said:
Thanks Souggy.

I remember receiving some speech therapy in elementary school. They want me to try it and... I really like the speech therapist because she was really nice and make me laugh so I look at it as a "recess" time and volunteered to attend. Then once I moved out of the area, the speech therapist was as dull as could be so I ask to be out of the program and poof! I never go back again.
Click to expand...

I don't mind the speech therapy i received during elementary and college. At least I have had confidence in both signing and using long words.

Just... The stuff in middle school gave me an abnormal perfectionist personality. Pretty much stopped signing and used simple words as a result. It still shows up in a conservation sometimes.
 
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