Why would people want their children to be deaf?

[MotorexGTR32]

There is many reasons on why deaf couples or certain deaf people would want their child to be deaf. Let me tell you, it is ridiculous and I am so fortunated to have my 2 daughters to be hearing since they were born. I would be upset to find out if they born deaf because I do not want them to go through like I did. BUT, no matter whats the outcomes if they born to be different such as blind, deaf or whatever, I would accept them no matter what and love them unconditionally.

I never had a trouble to raising my kids on my own despited that they are hearing. It is very challenge and rewarding. I mandatory them to speak and sign in their free wills. They are learning sign language. My oldest daughter do sign very well but my youngest daughter doesnt sign very much. They both knows that me and their mom are deaf and know whats the difference between hearing and deaf.

The thing is the biggest influence they had was me that teaching them on everything but I don't teach them about deaf world because it is not where they came from and I don't want to put them in it as some deaf parents did. I am trying to lead them to a normal life and they don't treat me as I am deaf as they do treat everyone equally which that is good.

 

[deafskeptic]

Oh, stop with the pity party, will you? I was born with a hole in my spine that was closed when I was two days old. I've endured more in my life time than most could dream of. Is there things I can't do because I was born paralyzed? Sure, but, do I worry about it? NO! Being deaf is the least of it, my friend. Sure, there may be some things you're not able to do and society doesn't make life easy for the deaf or people like me, but if you always look at the negative you'll never appreciate what you have and what you CAN do.

Stop pitying yourself and take a good look around. Get involved in your local deaf community. Learn sign (if you don't know it already). You may just find that people will support you, but I gotta say your attitude stinks! You gotta work on that ....and fast.

If he doesn't change his attiude around here, he won't last long.

BTW.

 

[shel90]

There is many reasons on why deaf couples or certain deaf people would want their child to be deaf. Let me tell you, it is ridiculous and I am so fortunated to have my 2 daughters to be hearing since they were born. I would be upset to find out if they born deaf because I do not want them to go through like I did. BUT, no matter whats the outcomes if they born to be different such as blind, deaf or whatever, I would accept them no matter what and love them unconditionally.

I never had a trouble to raising my kids on my own despited that they are hearing. It is very challenge and rewarding. I mandatory them to speak and sign in their free wills. They are learning sign language. My oldest daughter do sign very well but my youngest daughter doesnt sign very much. They both knows that me and their mom are deaf and know whats the difference between hearing and deaf.

The thing is the biggest influence they had was me that teaching them on everything but I don't teach them about deaf world because it is not where they came from and I don't want to put them in it as some deaf parents did. I am trying to lead them to a normal life and they don't treat me as I am deaf as they do treat everyone equally which that is good.

My children are in the Deaf and hearing worlds and I consider that they have "normal" lives. What is normal anyway? Did you know that many CODAs end up as interpreters making good money? Having more than one language creates more opportunities.

 

[shel90]

If he doesn't change his attiude around here, he won't last long.

BTW.

Totally agree.

 

[KarissaMann05]

Wirelessly posted

There is many reasons on why deaf couples or certain deaf people would want their child to be deaf. Let me tell you, it is ridiculous and I am so fortunated to have my 2 daughters to be hearing since they were born. I would be upset to find out if they born deaf because I do not want them to go through like I did. BUT, no matter whats the outcomes if they born to be different such as blind, deaf or whatever, I would accept them no matter what and love them unconditionally.

I never had a trouble to raising my kids on my own despited that they are hearing. It is very challenge and rewarding. I mandatory them to speak and sign in their free wills. They are learning sign language. My oldest daughter do sign very well but my youngest daughter doesnt sign very much. They both knows that me and their mom are deaf and know whats the difference between hearing and deaf.

The thing is the biggest influence they had was me that teaching them on everything but I don't teach them about deaf world because it is not where they came from and I don't want to put them in it as some deaf parents did. I am trying to lead them to a normal life and they don't treat me as I am deaf as they do treat everyone equally which that is good.

Well, I'm sorry that you think we are being so "silly". But you can't discredit our reasons and signal us out by claiming us are being "ridiculous" for want to have deaf kids, just 'cause you disagree with us. We already stated our explainations for that question in his first question. Unless you probably agreed with OP for called our reasons "illogical"...

People with disabilities can have their own personal and "normal" lives. You know, we are probably no different from gay community, black community, women, little people community, and etc. They have their own struggles, just like us. Only one problem is sociality who don't accept us and them, just because we are not so "normal" enough.

Like what shel90 said, what is a "normal" life? What make you think and/or feel "majority" is more important to have "normal" life and for the better? You surely got me wonder.

 

[TWA]

Oh, stop with the pity party, will you? I was born with a hole in my spine that was closed when I was two days old. I've endured more in my life time than most could dream of. Is there things I can't do because I was born paralyzed? Sure, but, do I worry about it? NO! Being deaf is the least of it, my friend. Sure, there may be some things you're not able to do and society doesn't make life easy for the deaf or people like me, but if you always look at the negative you'll never appreciate what you have and what you CAN do.

Stop pitying yourself and take a good look around. Get involved in your local deaf community. Learn sign (if you don't know it already). You may just find that people will support you, but I gotta say your attitude stinks! You gotta work on that ....and fast.

Don't get me wrong because I think Rabidlamn is just a troll and not worth anybody's time, but comparing your disability to the disability of someone else and then telling them how they should act and what they should think is in poor taste. Everyone goes through their own process of accepting their differences, and that process is always different.

 

[RabidLamn]

MotorGX I feel the exactly same way as you do!

As for everyone ganging up on me... You guys missed out on a great opportunity in other thread I started about book because only defense I'd have is I was just curious about why so many people go in a thread on something they have no clue on.

However in here... There are many sticky issue and I don't agree with everyone but... I didn't tear anyone apart for it and gave my opinion then everyone tear me apart while I never did it to anyone.
As for Christian thread... Well it warned "if you're not a christian don't come in" and some were stupid enough to come in and get butthurt over it. As for my signature... Well I put it in because it is funny not because I'm making any statement.
About my attitude... Well it is my attitude that keep me out of trouble because I don't have this stupid "think positive" attitude that make me do stupid thing.

Since I have stated my reason for not wanting to engineer my child to be born deaf and gave a couple examples of why. I guess I'll just shunt everyone jumping me in this thread out too.

 

[Anij]

RabidLamN .... just email Alex and he can change your username for you - no big deal.

 

[KarissaMann05]

As for everyone ganging up on me... You guys missed out on a great opportunity in other thread I started about book because only defense I'd have is I was just curious about why so many people go in a thread on something they have no clue on.

Huh, what? I don't understand why you really think so. I never known of that book you mentioned until you created "your" thread so I checked it out to see what's about. But I'm sorry to say this -- I find it less interesting so I don't reply to your thread... I did create "my" threads about something with no comments and I don't expect them to post a comment. So I'm not complain, so why you? Why do you think comments are so important? It should be up to them if they want to do the reply or not.

However in here... There are many sticky issue and I don't agree with everyone but... I didn't tear anyone apart for it and gave my opinion then everyone tear me apart while I never did it to anyone.

[...]

Since I have stated my reason for not wanting to engineer my child to be born deaf and gave a couple examples of why. I guess I'll just shunt everyone jumping me in this thread out too.

Really? Take a look here:

Shel... Let me ask you something... If your child can be blind and in a wheel chair, would you pick that for your child? I bet you'd scream NO!!! Without hesitate. However there are some couple out there who want nothing more than for their child to be deaf. I want to know why they would want that.

^ ^ ^ You made your emotional response her explanation (post #2) by assumed what you think of her reaction would be. Assumption...

I am a deaf guy and if I was ever to have a child, I want them to be hearing.

You can talk until you're blue in the face, but if you're deaf, there are just SO many lost opportunity that you will never be able to do and there will be some difficult in life that wouldn't happen if you could hear.

^ ^ ^ Misinformed. I know so many Deaf people have their successful lives. Even those articles are about various Deaf people that I just don't know who too. Do I lost a lot of opportunity because of my deafness? Not really. So how do you know if D/deaf people lost a lot of opportunity or not?

Kristina THANKS for giving a realistic and logical answer! I appreciate it! That's what I was looking for.

^ ^ ^ Apparently, it sound like you implied our posts "illogical" and "unrealistic" after we told you why. Well I hope you don't... They just gave you reasons and explanations. At beginning... NO ONE ATTACK YOU OR RIDICULE YOU until your post #5.

[...]

However people who scream "DEAF CAN DO ANYTHING!" are naive.

You called us "naive", and then you accused us for "gang on" you. Well, Jiro said it all...

I believe your sole purpose here is to cause trouble.

 

[Buffalo]

It was the way you were treated. The way my life is going, my deafness is not an issue. I have a great life right now. I see many deaf children living great lives now...it all depends on how people treat you. It is the people that are the issue, not your deafness or HOH.

Exactly! I don't see the deafness as a problem as ASL offered a way around the communication barrier. I see the people's dim view of the deaf people to be the biggest problem. That is why I want to work from home, running my own business (haven't decided on what business yet). I see this as a way to avoid people's controlling over my life.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Don't get me wrong because I think Rabidlamn is just a troll and not worth anybody's time, but comparing your disability to the disability of someone else and then telling them how they should act and what they should think is in poor taste. Everyone goes through their own process of accepting their differences, and that process is always different.

I agree they might; especially if they are late deafened. However, it came across like he wanted pity and that makes me angry. I coddle no one. It serves no purpose. If he's a troll, he'll leave soon enough. If he sticks around and has that attitude, NONE of us should put up with it. It serves to perpetuate the myth that we're damaged goods. Do you want to perpetuate that? I don't. You may think it was in poor taste for me to tell him to knock it off, but someone has to. You're not going to get anywhere in life with an attitude like that; troll or not.

 

[posts from hell]

Huh, what? I don't understand why you really think so. I never known of that book you mentioned until you created "your" thread so I checked it out to see what's about. But I'm sorry to say this -- I find it less interesting so I don't reply to your thread... I did create "my" threads about something with no comments and I don't expect them to post a comment. So I'm not complain, so why you? Why do you think comments are so important? It should be up to them if they want to do the reply or not.



Really? Take a look here:



^ ^ ^ You made your emotional response her explanation (post #2) by assumed what you think of her reaction would be. Assumption...



^ ^ ^ Misinformed. I know so many Deaf people have their successful lives. Even those articles are about various Deaf people that I just don't know who too. Do I lost a lot of opportunity because of my deafness? Not really. So how do you know if D/deaf people lost a lot of opportunity or not?



^ ^ ^ Apparently, it sound like you implied our posts "illogical" and "unrealistic" after we told you why. Well I hope you don't... They just gave you reasons and explanations. At beginning... NO ONE ATTACK YOU OR RIDICULE YOU until your post #5.



You called us "naive", and then you accused us for "gang on" you. Well, Jiro said it all...

yup, transparent.

 

[TWA]

I agree they might; especially if they are late deafened. However, it came across like he wanted pity and that makes me angry. I coddle no one. It serves no purpose. If he's a troll, he'll leave soon enough. If he sticks around and has that attitude, NONE of us should put up with it. It serves to perpetuate the myth that we're damaged goods. Do you want to perpetuate that? I don't. You may think it was in poor taste for me to tell him to knock it off, but someone has to. You're not going to get anywhere in life with an attitude like that; troll or not.

I don't think it was in poor taste at all to tell him to knock it off. I agree with you 100% on that, and I would have done it myself, but I'm trying out "being nice" for a little bit (don't get used to it though. ) But I just don't think there was any need for you to bring up comparisons between your disability and his, especially since all disabilities are different. So when you try and tell someone to "get over" their disability because you were able to, you're actually perpetuating a bad myth as well...

 

[saywhatkid]

As for Christian thread... Well it warned "if you're not a christian don't come in" and some were stupid enough to come in and get butthurt over it. As for my signature... Well I put it in because it is funny not because I'm making any statement.
About my attitude... Well it is my attitude that keep me out of trouble because I don't have this stupid "think positive" attitude that make me do stupid thing.

If someone started a thread on a topic you consider important, would you look?

Since I cannot post religious comments, I pointed out the hypocracy. You piped in with a snide comment: "you bitter?" I replied that I was not, but you did not leave it alone. You added a mocking comment "How about starting a thread about Zeus?" It was blatant trolling, dude.

You are trying to make a name for yourself here, by landing a fish. I swam away, but you continue to troll me and others. *shrugs* Your signature WAS funny a couple of days ago. Now that you continue using it, the real purpose becomes apparent. You are still trolling me. If I was a whiny kid, I would report it. Thing is, I never report anything except spammers. You wanna troll and make childish comments? It will not be me reporting them.

If you like being negative, that is your choice. I like being positive, because I like being happy. If you like being angry and sad, negative is the way to go.

Here is a new line for your signature: The fish swam away.

 

[shel90]

yup, transparent.

+1

 

[Jiro]

Well it stopped me from being in the military with like 90% of my high school friends who was in ROTC. Even if the military somehow end up decide to let me in, they will never let me in Special Force. Now do you want to tell me my deafness hasn't stopped me?

plenty of other disqualifications that can weed you out easily. deafness is the least thing to worry about. over 200,000 soldiers have hearing loss anyway. Special Force? lol trust me - based on your post history... I can tell you ain't cut out for it. but hey - same here.

Exactly. That's what I say about deafness. It will stop you from do something just like as many other things (asthmas and bad joints is one example) but you move on and find other thing to do with your life.
However people who scream "DEAF CAN DO ANYTHING!" are naive.

lol you're taking it too literally. Is "if there's a will, there's a way" naive too?

Eventhough I will never get into the military (which is something I planned on my whole childhood life up until high school and was planning on spending good 30 years or so in the military) I have done a lot.

I was a kickboxer and mixed martial arts fighter, train with some of the best team and fighter (NO I dont know Matt Hamill and couldn't give a damn if he die in a fire tonight or win a title tomorrow)
Have travel a lot, work with a lot awesome people in photography field, got to do a lot fun adrenaline junkie things, live near enough to area where I can go rock climbing and swimming and mountain biking everyday, and the list goes on.

But still... If I could have a choice, would I have done thing differently? You betcha!
But yes I am a really happy person in generally. Probably much happier than vast majority of population. I wake up happy everyday and always looking forward to the day and what lay ahead of me. But still there are things that linger in back of my mind that sometime come back and make me ask "what if?" I am sure I am not only one like that. I am nothing special or unique. I am just a human like as everybody else.

However I agree 100% with you on child. I'd never genetically engineer them to be deaf either. If I was to adopt, I'd defitinely look for a HoH/deaf child because there are plenty hearing that can get a home, but for HoH/deaf it is harder.

Same here. Done this. Done that. and more.

the only difference between you and me is that you are still naive.

 

[BecLak]

RL, I think you are just feeling your way by poking everyone around you to see what their reaction is in order to know where you 'fit in'. It is immature to say the least, if you think that the Deaf community here on AD is like a high-school with all its cliques and clubs. On first impression: You say you are deaf, but by your post, you appear to have a 'hearing/non-Deaf' perspective. It gives the impression you are hearing pretending to be deaf, that's why many here are of the opinion you are a troll. So honestly what exactly is your purpose here? The majority of newcomers state it immediately in their first post on AD.

 

[Bebonang]

RL, I think you are just feeling your way by poking everyone around you to see what their reaction is in order to know where you 'fit in'. It is immature to say the least, if you think that the Deaf community here on AD is like a high-school with all its cliques and clubs. On first impression: You say you are deaf, but by your post, you appear to have a 'hearing/non-Deaf' perspective. It gives the impression you are hearing pretending to be deaf, that's why many here are of the opinion you are a troll. So honestly what exactly is your purpose here? The majority of newcomers state it immediately in their first post on AD.

So Rapidlamn lie for covering up his hearing. What a bummer!

 

[sallylou]

Some people join forums and pretend to have issues for attention. I don't know if that applies here, but it's possible. Then again, maybe it's just a deaf/hoh person who happens to be a jerk. :P

 

[Daredevel7]

I am just going to ignore where this thread is heading and go back to the original post.

Personally this is what I think:

Scenario 1: Wanting your child to be deaf without actually being able to control their deafness (natural, no genetic engineering)

Reasons: Similar identity, easier for the parent to communicate with child, easier for the parent to relate to child, "if there is going to be a deaf child, it's better if I'm the parent rather than a hearing parent who knows nothing about deafness", basically a deaf parent is more likely to be a better prepared parent for a deaf child.

Scenario 2: CHOOSING the child to be deaf, via genetic engineering means.

Reasons: People could say all of the above reasons for Scenario 1, but honestly, I personally think most of it is out of selfishness or self (group) preservation. To me, It makes it easier for the parent and/or using the child for political/social reasons. (Basically try to change the world or how society views deaf people)

There is a pretty big difference between "If my child is deaf, I will better prepare him for the real world and society." and "I CHOOSE for my child to be deaf, despite society's negative views on deaf people, because I want to prove something."

That's just how I view it. Convince me that reasons from Scenario 2 would be the same as Scenario 1, because I am not convinced at all.