Why I am going through a tough/emotional situation

Hi Shel, sorry to hear about what you are going through. I'm glad you and Jiro had a good talk. Seems like you feel much better about this situation. As for your son missing his sister, I don't know if this will make you feel better, but as an only child, I hung out a lot with my cousins and my mom made a lot of play dates with friends. It kept me occupied.

You deserve to enjoy your time in NYC. We will do our best to make sure you have a fantastic time!
 
actually, now that your daughter is older, she can speak for herself with her dad now. You don't have to anymore. So if she want to stay with you, she can tell that to her dad herself.

My sister no longer talk to her ex. My neice and my sister communicate with each other now. When My niece want to stay with my sister (in another state), she just simply tell her dad she want to stay with her mom... like for the summer and such.
 
Oh no! I am sorry to hear. I hope your daughter will be back to you. Are you full custody for your daughter? How many miles MD to Arizona?

I heard a several friends told me about children live in Minnesota, Florida, Georgia and Texas. The divorced parents can't live far away at 1,000 miles. I don't know if it's true or not. And my other friend from AZ and his daughter live in Rochester, NY with mom. They are still pay the child supports.

:hug:
 
Daredevel7 said:
Hi Shel, sorry to hear about what you are going through. I'm glad you and Jiro had a good talk. Seems like you feel much better about this situation. As for your son missing his sister, I don't know if this will make you feel better, but as an only child, I hung out a lot with my cousins and my mom made a lot of play dates with friends. It kept me occupied.

You deserve to enjoy your time in NYC. We will do our best to make sure you have a fantastic time!
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That's why I wish my brother would hurry up and get married and have kids so there will be cousins around. However, my cousin who lives here just had a baby boy so I have them as well for my son to grow up with.

My deaf friends and their kids are like family to me and my son is close to them as well.

Thanks and I am looking foward to Sat! Will be fun!! :hug:
 
Pinky said:
Oh no! I am sorry to hear. I hope your daughter will be back to you. Are you full custody for your daughter? How many miles MD to Arizona?

I heard a several friends told me about children live in Minnesota, Florida, Georgia and Texas. The divorced parents can't live far away at 1,000 miles. I don't know if it's true or not. And my other friend from AZ and his daughter live in Rochester, NY with mom. They are still pay the child supports.

:hug:
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Thanks..somehow there is a silver lining to all of this..it will come sooner or later.
 
Thanks everyone for their support. She is at home with me and we are makign the best of her last days here in MD instead of being bitter or angry. That way I will have no regrets later on.

Sure, I would love to lash out against my ex hubby and make him hurt or destroy his life but that would make me stoop to his level and I dont want to become that person.

:hug:
 
shel90 said:
That's why parents make sacrifices for their children. This is mine. I just want her to be happy and if she finds more happiness in AZ, then I am happy. If not, she is always welcome back.

Like Jiro said to me on AIM, I wont have to ever deal with drama from my ex hubby and after 10 years of being on pins and needles, it will be a huge huge relief.
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I can understand that you want her to be happy, but is this the first time that she'll be going to stay with her father? or has she stayed with him several weeks before?

I don't know the much of your situation with your ex and his relationship with his daughter, but my boys fathers isn't no role model for my boys, He is really a deadbeat father, who doesn't even come around and spend the time with his boys or send them anything not even birthday card. It has been 9 months now since the last time he saw the boys. It'll be over my dead body if he ever tried to manipulate my boys to move in with him.
 
shel90 said:
Many of you have wondered why I made comments in some threads and comments on FB.

I will just give a brief summary of what happened:

This was the weekend from hell. On Friday night, my ex hubby and my daughter confronted me without warning that my daughter is going to move with him to AZ. I was told in the parking lot of my ex hubby's work and to say at the least, I was completely speechless and at loss for words. I asked him when..he said the end of February of this year. I started crying and he kept saying that I wasnt showing support for my daughter's decision by acting like that which was pretty cruel of him. It made everything worse. To summarize, the scenario became an ugly one.

I just feel dead inside and just trying to make it day to day. I almost dropped my plans to go to NYC next weekend but after chatting on aim with Jiro, he helped me to see things from a more positive point of view. Plus, talking with my mom, my dad and my best friend also helped. I just feel so blessed that so many people dropped whatever they were doing to give me the support I needed. My hubby was shocked too and told my daughter that it wasnt cool to do that to me by not telling me what was wrong with her for a week and keeping it from me only to have her dad tell me on the spot.

To make things worse, I found out some things about my ex on Sat but I wont say it here but there were some lies and manipulation involved.

My emotions are really all over the place..Sat, I felt ok, yesterday, I felt anger and today I feel like panicking because I cant stop thinking about my son and how that will affect him.

Now, you know why I said that 2010 is already ruined for me.

Thanks everyone :hug:
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Oh Shel you need a :hug: I really wish I could do something and the one acting immature in this situation isn't you. It's your daughter for not coming to you and telling you herself that she wanted to move with her dad. From the way this sounds, it seems to me he has probably 'helped' her make her decision.
 
I'm sorry about all the crap you are going through :hug: reading this thread made me angry and worried about and your kids! I hope things will turn out for the best eventually...
 
(Hugs) Call me if you need a ear, ok? I admire your strength and logical thoughts on handling this. I assure you that your son will adjust fine since he has great parents who have the tools to support him.
 
Cheri said:
I can understand that you want her to be happy, but is this the first time that she'll be going to stay with her father? or has she stayed with him several weeks before?

I don't know the much of your situation with your ex and his relationship with his daughter, but my boys fathers isn't no role model for my boys, He is really a deadbeat father, who doesn't even come around and spend the time with his boys or send them anything not even birthday card. It has been 9 months now since the last time he saw the boys. It'll be over my dead body if he ever tried to manipulate my boys to move in with him.
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My ex hubby is very very involved with my daughter's life and they have a very good relationship. I know that his family in AZ will be very very involved with her along with mine.

She did live with him before. I have no problems with him as a father but just so damn far!
 
deafbajagal said:
(Hugs) Call me if you need a ear, ok? I admire your strength and logical thoughts on handling this. I assure you that your son will adjust fine since he has great parents who have the tools to support him.
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Thanks..it just wouldnt do anyone good if I went crazy. :hug:
 
Court orders are legal options, but if she wants to go it does not sound like a good emotional one.

Events like this are much like funerals --- The feelings and sense of loss is much the same -- And like funerals what helps pull you through are friends who love you, ceremony, routine, and sometimes a bit of solitude.

You are strong and wise. You will survive. And when you have done you will be stronger for it.

The best to you that can possibly be.
 
I am not so great with the words, but I will give you a huge and supportive :hug:
 
Well, the worst has happened.

Wednesday was a nightmare especially when I got home from work. When I walked in the door, all of my daughter's stuff that was packed in boxes were all in the living room. That took the breath out of me and I got all emotional but tried to keep my composure. My ex hubby told her that he was going to pick her up between 830 to 9. So all night, I tried to make it as much fun for all of us..we danced to music videos on TV, played a board game (epic fail because my 4 year old kept messing it up), and just talked as a family. Around 10 PM, they still hadnt came but my daughter told me that they were soon here. My hubby heard the doorknob turn and was ready to attack my ex hubby for not knocking but it was my brother (he had plans to stay overnight to go to an appt the next day anyway). Then just a minute after my brother arrived, my ex hubby's girlfriend arrived. No sign of him anywhere..she said that he couldnt manuvear the moving van in my neighborhood so my hubby and my brother took the boxes to her car. When she finally said bye, I broke down.

Thursday was very very difficult. For the first time in my life, I had a near panic attack and it happened at work but I made it through the day.

Now, I am doing better..laughing and doing things but with a void in my heart. I just have to learn to live with it.

:hug:
 
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