Wow took me a LONG time to read up on this thread.
I know that as a hofh parent, of 3 girls (2 of which are hofh) I have to refrain myself from telling my hearing audiologist that they aren't hearing though she may "think" they are. We still struggle, we still have to rely more on lip reading, facial expressions, body language and ASL. No matter what, you are who you are. Just because you have CI or HA nothing changes who you are.
Teachers expect so much from them. Although it's not a bad thing but it can prove to be hinderance at some point. My middlest has just been put in a mainstreamed school this year. She has told me repeatedly that she wants to go back to the deaf/hofh program that she was in. I feel for her, yet at the same time I know that she needs to be challenged. It has it's pros and cons. They go at their own level, at their own pace. Smaller classes, more individual one on one with the teachers.
My youngest we are very concerned, she knows A LOT of ASL. But her oral language is SO far behind. She just got her hearing aids after waiting four months for them to repair them. I am holding out that we can get her up to speed. Still signing, that is all I can do inorder to communicate with her.
I was one of the first class in my hometown to be mainstreamed. I felt like I had culture shock when I walked into my grade 6 classroom. Knowing ASL, and having so much support to having nothing or very limited support. I struggled, I hated school so much.
If I had it my way, I would change the system altogether. If they want us to be functioning in a hearing world (give us the tools we need to do so).
Give us more one on one with teachers, give us interpreters, give us what we need. Don't expect us to be like "hearies" and to do well without necessary support.
I wanted to comment on the giving them interpeters nowadays. My middlest is fluent in ASL and they told me she didn't need it. I want that for her. Yet I contiune to get fought on with audiologist and the Board of Ed system. She is hearing, she has perfect hearing with her aids on. BULL@#$%!! If they have walked a mile in my shoes, they would know I would rather have an ASL conversation than a verbal conversation any day!
CI is made to enhance one's ability to function in the world. Just like HA. Not rejecting who, or what we are. I say to people that I am part of the deaf culture. I am, and so are my girls. I have had to sit down and talk to family member helping them realize that is who they are. Should you discourage a child to reach his/hers full potential? No, you want the best for them. I have seen the pictures of Cloggy's wife signing. That to me, says she is giving her child everything life has to offer. Not limiting her in any way. It's not a question of whether "accepting or rejecting" their deafness. It's accepting the responsibility of whether or not making the right decisions for yourself and for your children in that situation.
If my girls were profoundly deaf, would I chose CI for them? Probably not, but I have to consider Hub's wants too. And he told me, in a heartbeat he would want to.
Would that mean that I/Hub don't accept their deafness?
No, because we would contiune to sign to them, and give them everything they need providing both worlds deaf/hearing worlds.
I think if someone really has a problem with deafness. They would impant them, remove them from the deaf culture. Won't sign. Won't provide anything as far as the tools they need. Be so strict with their CI child that they would have to completely conform to the hearing world with nothing of the deaf culture at all. (that would be someone who would be non-accepting of deafness). ~IN MY OPINION~
!!! Agreed 90%, but variety is the spice of life. 
