When is it considered babying your children or just showing love?

deafgal001 said:
did she have a good reason for checking to see if you are not skipping school?

I don't think that's really being overprotective if she have a reason not to trust you (For example, you skipped school several times, or you sneaked out of the house before) . But if she didn't have a reason and call the school everyday anyway, then that's being alittle paranoid. (btw, the school would call the parents anyway if the kids don't show up and they haven't heard anything from the parents)

But What shel is doing is not being overprotective, or babying him. He still need his mom at that age. I would only start worrying if he still like that by the time he is too heavy to carry.
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I wondered the same thing. If the poster had a history of skipping school, then the mother was justified in checking.
 
I always make him walk to the car in the morning. I used to carry him to the car but have stopped that about 6 months ago. I guess at night time when he is so sleepy, I just love it when he wants to cuddle with me while I am carrying him upstairs. He is starting to get too heavy so probably will have to stop that soon. :( I dont want him to grow up.
 
It's all about moderation.

If you feel that he's old enough to do it himself, then you could walk him to bed.

If it's too much, then try the progressive approach.

Start with carrying him all the way to bed and tuck him in.

Later, carry him to his room... but put him down so he can get in bed himself.

Later, carry him to the doorway of his room.

Later, carry him until you're a few feet from the doorway of his room.

Etc... etc... etc...

Be sure to compliment him when he goes to bed. That way, he knows he's being a "big boy". :)
 
To Deafgal and Jillio, I never skipped school. Only time I didn't go to school, my mother knew too, since I be home sick. She did it cause that what my older brother did.
 
VamPyroX said:
It's all about moderation.

If you feel that he's old enough to do it himself, then you could walk him to bed.

If it's too much, then try the progressive approach.

Start with carrying him all the way to bed and tuck him in.

Later, carry him to his room... but put him down so he can get in bed himself.

Later, carry him to the doorway of his room.

Later, carry him until you're a few feet from the doorway of his room.

Etc... etc... etc...

Be sure to compliment him when he goes to bed. That way, he knows he's being a "big boy". :)
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He can do it, it just she still misses him being a little one and needs mama to help him. It does sound like they have a close bond and all. Her son sounds like he not that heavy yet. In my books, it fine. Would I do it, it be more based on other things. If my daughter having growing pains, yes, I will carry her. If any my kids are hurt or for some reason, have problem walking, then yes. If they are just tired, then they could wake up and go to bed. If they are in my bed after I fell asleep, then I will pick them up.
 
I told my kids, " can you guys stop growing and stay small so i can hug you all?" they say " i can't stop growing".. awww at least they still can hug me. :D

i d love to have them as babies all over again and can carry them anytime! But I am happy to see them growing beautifully little gal and guy.
 
shel90 said:
Thanks everyone..I dont know why some people feel the need to criticize me for showing love to my son. It is better than those parents who neglect or abuse their children, right?
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absolutely +1

love em fiercely
 
shel90 said:
I always make him walk to the car in the morning. I used to carry him to the car but have stopped that about 6 months ago. I guess at night time when he is so sleepy, I just love it when he wants to cuddle with me while I am carrying him upstairs. He is starting to get too heavy so probably will have to stop that soon. :( I dont want him to grow up.
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I don't think there is anything wrong with carrying him up to bed...but your comments about wanting him to stay little etc. do concern me a little... Miss those times, but don't be sad about them...CELEBRATE his growing up! As he becomes more independent, know that you are doing something right, to raise a confident child! Him growing up and becoming more independent isn't a bad thing, and doesn't mean you have to lose the closeness... just that it might change direction.
 
I've been told that I am too over-protective of my daughter. I have asked co-workers who were psychologists, (LCSW's and MSW's). They said that given her learning problems and other things, I was not over-protective. I was looking out for her needs and being just protective of her. She is now well adjusted and happy. I did feel like I was "sheltering" them from a lot, but both of my kids seem to be fine. They have been allowed to do more that I would never approve of since we moved here to Florida, but they don't go too far with the freedom.
 
That's different ...

I was talking about not allowing your child to grow and be independent (even just slightly) when he wants to IF he have the maturity to handle it. For example, a kid want to pour milk all by himself, but the parent are like "NO, NO, you are too young, you'll make a mess!" but that just a very small example. There are parents out there who take care of every little problem a child have, and their child have a very difficult time learning from his own mistakes.
 
deafgal001 said:
That's different ...

I was talking about not allowing your child to grow and be independent (even just slightly) when he wants to IF he have the maturity to handle it. For example, a kid want to pour milk all by himself, but the parent are like "NO, NO, you are too young, you'll make a mess!" but that just a very small example. There are parents out there who take care of every little problem a child have, and their child have a very difficult time learning from his own mistakes.
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Right, I get that, just commenting that I was accused of over-protecting my kids. Ah well.
 
nyyankees154 said:
To Deafgal and Jillio, I never skipped school. Only time I didn't go to school, my mother knew too, since I be home sick. She did it cause that what my older brother did.
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Okay. But since your older brother did it, I can see her reasoning.
 
chipmunkis said:
I don't think there is anything wrong with carrying him up to bed...but your comments about wanting him to stay little etc. do concern me a little... Miss those times, but don't be sad about them...CELEBRATE his growing up! As he becomes more independent, know that you are doing something right, to raise a confident child! Him growing up and becoming more independent isn't a bad thing, and doesn't mean you have to lose the closeness... just that it might change direction.
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I understand your point, but your concern is misplaced in this instance. Shel is very much a realist. Many of us mothers think wistfully of the time when our children were small.
 
jillio said:
I understand your point, but your concern is misplaced in this instance. Shel is very much a realist. Many of us mothers think wistfully of the time when our children were small.
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I'm glad to know that! I've just known other moms who are REALLY sad about their kids growing up... maybe because my son almost didn't survive, every new leap in independence has been met with a "yay!". I've always treasured all the moments as "one more day", so I don't miss the days past, if that makes sense.
 
jillio said:
Okay. But since your older brother did it, I can see her reasoning.
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Yeah, You see the reasoning, but my brother and I were 10 years apart. He was more of a trouble maker in school where I was more worried about my grades. My mother knew that, and she still crowded me thinking I turn into my brother.
 
parents tend to raise each children differently because they learned from their child before them.

My pastor was preaching about how parents worry about 99% of things that never happened (he wanted to point out about faith and it will be alright) and one father stood up and said "Worrying works!" I guess that's what your mother was doing, but it was unneccessary worry too.
 
chipmunkis said:
I'm glad to know that! I've just known other moms who are REALLY sad about their kids growing up... maybe because my son almost didn't survive, every new leap in independence has been met with a "yay!". I've always treasured all the moments as "one more day", so I don't miss the days past, if that makes sense.
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Agreed. I have seen the same. Adjustment and dependence issues.
 
nyyankees154 said:
Yeah, You see the reasoning, but my brother and I were 10 years apart. He was more of a trouble maker in school where I was more worried about my grades. My mother knew that, and she still crowded me thinking I turn into my brother.
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Parents do that. If one child is a trouble maker, they tend to be more proactive with younger sibs.
 
My boys are teenagers....and just trying to get a hug from them is hard to do sometimes. And at 5'2, I value my back too much to attempt to carry them to bed, even at age 5! HAHA...
But, one thing for sure that they do "require" is a back scratch at 10:45 before going to bed (school the next day). It's been a habit of theirs....so I do expect their wives whenever they marry, will follow the tradition.
Dunno really why men love those "back scratches."
 
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