When is it considered babying your children or just showing love?

I believe you will know when to stop when the time is right. Either you will do it or Nathan. But do not worry and enjoy this precious times you share with your son. Childhood is very fleeting.
 
If Nathan is well adjusted and a 'typical' child I see nothing wrong with that part of your night time routine... and I agree-- when he's too heavy stop carrying him... maybe you could do a piggy back ride to make it less like carrying but still that contact and closeness you both desire?? That would be different and fun too!! (and maybe something your hubby would even get in on?? ;) )

I let Adam walk up the stairs at night for the most part but b/c he needs the practice and he loves to 'race' me up the stairs... sometimes walking up like a big boy and sometimes climbing up like the Monkey he is... but I LOVE cuddling with him especially when he initiates it... makes it seem more worthwhile-- like he wants it. I just mentioned something like this on FB the other day when Adam was cuddled up on the couch sweetly watching a movie-- someday it won't be cool to be around mom much less have her cuddling him -- so enjoy while he wants it...
 
I am the same thing with shel. I am still babying my boy even he weighs 55 lbs. He wanted me to stop babying him. LOL I remember he decided to do himself when he was 5 1/2. He's 7 now. Sometimes, I ask him to come and sit on my lap and rocking him when he hates it but he knows how much I love it! lol
 
It come in with a saying I got off an old calendar with quite. "Hold your child's hand every chance you get, because the time will come all too soon when he/she won't let you." So, that being said, I would do it until he says no. My kids are 15 & 16 and still like me to tuck them in. I don't very often, since I am in bed before them. :)
 
shel90 said:
My son will be 5 years old soon but he is still my "baby". Well, the issue here is when he is tired or just before he goes to bed, he wants me to carry him everywhere. Some people have told me that I am "babying" him but I love holding him when he is in the mood to cuddle and I don't mind carrying him to bed. It is my way of showing him my love. I could make him be like a "big" boy and use his legs. In your opinion, is it considered "babying" him even though it is only when he is tired or just wants to cuddle up? I get confused to why that is considered "babying" him when he is still a toddler. I consider toddlers babies. When is the right age to stop this "babying"?

I don't want him to become spoiled but at the same time, I love the feeling of him cuddling up to me when I carry him.
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If you are comfortable with what you are doing with your son, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Tell the others to raise their children, and you will raise yours.
 
shel90 said:
Sometimes, I wonder if I am more sensitive about my need to "baby" my son because my 13 year old daughter was taken away from me in February. It is like I want to savour every moment while my son is still little and I honestly don't want him to grow up. I am not happy about him turning 5 this month. It is going by way too fast. :(
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I have two boys. 10 and 8 and they still want cuddles and hugs. They still want me to tuck them into bed.

I don't think there is anything wrong with what you are doing. Keep doing it.

Reminds me of a story. Love You Forever by Robert Munsch published in 1986

You will love it.
 
I admit I'm a pushover when it comes to kids. I never refuse to pick up a child who stretches his/her arms out to me.
 
As a child, I used to have nightmares so my mum used to get me out of bed and take me my dad downstairs who was watching tv, to calm me down. It used to be star trek or stargate. after a while he used to say want me carry you upstairs? I used to say yes. :P) nothing wrong with it. But I was 6/7 years old. Was not every night though.
 
Thanks everyone..I dont know why some people feel the need to criticize me for showing love to my son. It is better than those parents who neglect or abuse their children, right?
 
shel90 said:
Thanks everyone..I dont know why some people feel the need to criticize me for showing love to my son. It is better than those parents who neglect or abuse their children, right?
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A child never suffers from having too much love. They do, however, suffer a great deal from not having enough. Your kids will never be at risk.
 
jillio said:
A child never suffers from having too much love. They do, however, suffer a great deal from not having enough. Your kids will never be at risk.
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True, but a child suffers too if they r crowded by their parents. It still needs to be a healthy love.
 
nyyankees154 said:
True, but a child suffers too if they r crowded by their parents. It still needs to be a healthy love.
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Knowing shel as I do, I can be sure that she does not "crowd" or "overprotect." And the problems suffered from overprotection are much easier to remediate than those that come from neglect. Likewise, overprotection often has nothing to do with love for the child.
 
jillio said:
Knowing shel as I do, I can be sure that she does not "crowd" or "overprotect." And the problems suffered from overprotection are much easier to remediate than those that come from neglect. Likewise, overprotection often has nothing to do with love for the child.
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I know that, sometimes, but other times, a parent could do the over protection thinking that they doing it out of love. What she said about carrying her baby to bed is fine. I, myself, will only carry my kids if that the only way to get them into their own bed. My daughter will climb into my bed, and I will wake up and pick her up and put her back in her bed. If she on the couch and was watching a cartoon, then I tell her to walk to her bed.
 
nyyankees154 said:
True, but a child suffers too if they r crowded by their parents. It still needs to be a healthy love.
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I don't think it is love at all if the parents are too overprotective. It's more of controlling for their own selfish reasons if you ask me.

Her son will eventually ask her to stop carrying him (or accept that he is too heavy for her to carry him).
 
deafgal001 said:
I don't think it is love at all if the parents are too overprotective. It's more of controlling for their own selfish reasons if you ask me.

Her son will eventually ask her to stop carrying him (or accept that he is too heavy for her to carry him).
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There are some parents that do the over protective thing thinking it is out of love. My mother would call up my school just to make sure I was there and not skipping. She thought she was doing that out of love, when it was not. I also know some other parents that did stuff like that thinking it was out of love. It might not be love how they doing it, but to the parent that does it, in their mind, it is love.
 
deafgal001 said:
I don't think it is love at all if the parents are too overprotective. It's more of controlling for their own selfish reasons if you ask me.

Her son will eventually ask her to stop carrying him (or accept that he is too heavy for her to carry him).
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Exactly. Overprotection isn't love. It is a parent attempting to fulfill their own needs through the child.
 
nyyankees154 said:
There are some parents that do the over protective thing thinking it is out of love. My mother would call up my school just to make sure I was there and not skipping. She thought she was doing that out of love, when it was not. I also know some other parents that did stuff like that thinking it was out of love. It might not be love how they doing it, but to the parent that does it, in their mind, it is love.
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Just because the parent calls it "love" doesn't mean it is. People rarely recognize their own motivations until it is pointed out to them.
 
nyyankees154 said:
There are some parents that do the over protective thing thinking it is out of love. My mother would call up my school just to make sure I was there and not skipping. She thought she was doing that out of love, when it was not. I also know some other parents that did stuff like that thinking it was out of love. It might not be love how they doing it, but to the parent that does it, in their mind, it is love.
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did she have a good reason for checking to see if you are not skipping school?

I don't think that's really being overprotective if she have a reason not to trust you (For example, you skipped school several times, or you sneaked out of the house before) . But if she didn't have a reason and call the school everyday anyway, then that's being alittle paranoid. (btw, the school would call the parents anyway if the kids don't show up and they haven't heard anything from the parents)

But What shel is doing is not being overprotective, or babying him. He still need his mom at that age. I would only start worrying if he still like that by the time he is too heavy to carry.
 
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