When is it considered babying your children or just showing love?

shel90

shel90

Love Makes the World Go Round
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My son will be 5 years old soon but he is still my "baby". Well, the issue here is when he is tired or just before he goes to bed, he wants me to carry him everywhere. Some people have told me that I am "babying" him but I love holding him when he is in the mood to cuddle and I don't mind carrying him to bed. It is my way of showing him my love. I could make him be like a "big" boy and use his legs. In your opinion, is it considered "babying" him even though it is only when he is tired or just wants to cuddle up? I get confused to why that is considered "babying" him when he is still a toddler. I consider toddlers babies. When is the right age to stop this "babying"?

I don't want him to become spoiled but at the same time, I love the feeling of him cuddling up to me when I carry him.
 
shel90 said:
My son will be 5 years old soon but he is still my "baby". Well, the issue here is when he is tired or just before he goes to bed, he wants me to carry him everywhere. Some people have told me that I am "babying" him but I love holding him when he is in the mood to cuddle and I don't mind carrying him to bed. It is my way of showing him my love. I could make him be like a "big" boy and use his legs. In your opinion, is it considered "babying" him even though it is only when he is tired or just wants to cuddle up? I get confused to why that is considered "babying" him when he is still a toddler. I consider toddlers babies. When is the right age to stop this "babying"?

I don't want him to become spoiled but at the same time, I love the feeling of him cuddling up to me when I carry him.
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My opinion:

How is showing love ever bad?

I cuddle with my husband, is he babying me?
 
Yea and you hubby spanks you. :lol:

I have heard of boys growing up unable to cut the apron strings from their mommas so I don't want my son growing up too atached to me and being unable to take care of himself.

Someone said that it starts out when they are young when their moms baby them too much.

My husband practices a military stance on him saying that he is a big boy and can get himself upstairs to bed. I carry him, not because I think he is unable to get himself to bed but because I just love that opportunity to hold him tightly.
 
shel90 said:
My son will be 5 years old soon but he is still my "baby". Well, the issue here is when he is tired or just before he goes to bed, he wants me to carry him everywhere. Some people have told me that I am "babying" him but I love holding him when he is in the mood to cuddle and I don't mind carrying him to bed. It is my way of showing him my love. I could make him be like a "big" boy and use his legs. In your opinion, is it considered "babying" him even though it is only when he is tired or just wants to cuddle up? I get confused to why that is considered "babying" him when he is still a toddler. I consider toddlers babies. When is the right age to stop this "babying"?
I don't want him to become spoiled but at the same time, I love the feeling of him cuddling up to me when I carry him.
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when he gets too heavy :giggle:
 
shel90 said:
Yea and you hubby spanks you. :lol:

I have heard of boys growing up unable to cut the apron strings from their mommas so I don't want my son growing up too atached to me and being unable to take care of himself.

Someone said that it starts out when they are young when their moms baby them too much.

My husband practices a military stance on him saying that he is a big boy and can get himself upstairs to bed. I carry him, not because I think he is unable to get himself to bed but because I just love that opportunity to hold him tightly.
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We practice attachment parenting. THE 7 BENEFITS OF ATTACHMENT PARENTING We believe that through healthy attachment leads to healthy adults. It is actually children who have not bonded well that can not seperate from their parents.
 
Steinhauer said:
when he gets too heavy :giggle:
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Even though Steinhauer is making a little joke, that is actually sensible advice.
That is when I stopped carrying both my kids, and that way nobody had hurt feelings.

They just understood that I was physically unable.

I don't think he is going to be a sissy just because you carry him around.

In fact, the theory of attachment parenting holds that the child will be more well adjusted and secure for a lifetime with this type of parenting.


Missed that FJ put in about Attachment Parenting already.
 
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I could say that I agree with ur husband....he's old enuf to walk to bed alone....but then I would not be "practicing what I preach"....as even now, I baby-talk to my youngest one, saying things like "sugar baby"...."how ya feeling, sweetheart?".....and he is 14.......he's too big/heavy to carry to bed, but I did it somewhat when he was 6 !....

I see nothing wrong, but since you are a little concerned about it, maybe just cutting back on this, but not completely. I'm sure ur son will let you know when "he's a big boy now."....I would enjoy the snuggles and kisses while I could, because when they get to be a certain age.....they won't let you touch them......
 
5 is way too old to be carried around every night. once in a while when the kids is in a bad mood maybe but at 5 they need to start learning a bit of independence. at 5 a kid is already in school. carrying around the kids is not bonding .
 
DDU said:
5 is way too old to be carried around every night. once in a while when the kids is in a bad mood maybe but at 5 they need to start learning a bit of independence. at 5 a kid is already in school. carrying around the kids is not bonding .
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Why is it too old?

How is being physically and emotionally close not bonding?
 
Shel, at this point and since this is pretty much the only time you do this, I think it is a beautiful closure to the dying day seeing you two lovingly going up the stairs and saying your good nights, etc....
 
Sometimes, I wonder if I am more sensitive about my need to "baby" my son because my 13 year old daughter was taken away from me in February. It is like I want to savour every moment while my son is still little and I honestly don't want him to grow up. I am not happy about him turning 5 this month. It is going by way too fast. :(
 
I see no problem cuddling, like spend the last 15-30 min on the couch cuddling is fine, but soon it time for bed, it time to be a big boy and walk.

My kids still love to cuddle and all. But soon they where in a big kid bed, they walked to their bed. I did walk with them and help them get covered up. They also enjoyed the whole idea that they are big enough to do it themselves. My oldest, who is 8, loves to sit on the couch and have an arm around him while watching a cartoon or a movie. My daughter loves to do the same thing on the other side. My youngest don't cuddle with me, he a mama's boy. He cuddles with her when he in the mood. Only time I will care our kids if they pass out on the couch. My wife might carry our youngest if he fell asleep on her, if on the couch, she will get me.
 
shel90 said:
My son will be 5 years old soon but he is still my "baby". Well, the issue here is when he is tired or just before he goes to bed, he wants me to carry him everywhere. Some people have told me that I am "babying" him but I love holding him when he is in the mood to cuddle and I don't mind carrying him to bed. It is my way of showing him my love. I could make him be like a "big" boy and use his legs. In your opinion, is it considered "babying" him even though it is only when he is tired or just wants to cuddle up? I get confused to why that is considered "babying" him when he is still a toddler. I consider toddlers babies. When is the right age to stop this "babying"?

I don't want him to become spoiled but at the same time, I love the feeling of him cuddling up to me when I carry him.
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I would not consider what other people think and go with your heart and how you feel and want to act with your children.

Added: But with that said, if you think it's spoiling him then ofc stop. My daughter is 18 and I still consider her my baby. Poor kid huh? :lol:
 
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Does your son have a hard going to sleep or a lot nightmares ? If nothing bad is happen at bed time , I think you should let your son walk to bed on his own. You're making your son be too depending on you by carrying him around all the time. When you son is in his bed you can cuddle with him while reading him book. Know one what is going on a person home, if there are some issues going it could made your son want to be baby. Did you have new baby , some kids get very jealous of a new baby in the house and they will start acting like a 'baby' to get more attention.
 
I love that you do this. My baby's turning 5 in Feb, and I sure hope she'll let me carry her, cuddle her, and tuck her in for years to come. Seems like as long as you both want to do this, it's a wonderful thing.

Also, it's a power workout, and who gets enough of those :) .
 
Tousi said:
Shel, at this point and since this is pretty much the only time you do this, I think it is a beautiful closure to the dying day seeing you two lovingly going up the stairs and saying your good nights, etc....
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I really LOVE this post!!! Thanks Tousi!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Does your son have a hard going to sleep or a lot nightmares ? If nothing bad is happen at bed time , I think you should let your son walk to bed on his own. You're making your son be too depending on you by carrying him around all the time. When you son is in his bed you can cuddle with him while reading him book. Know one what is going on a person home, if there are some issues going it could made your son want to be baby. Did you have new baby , some kids get very jealous of a new baby in the house and they will start acting like a 'baby' to get more attention.
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No, he doesnt have nightmares often and sleeps soooo good. He knows that I will carry him upstairs when it is time for his bed so he looks at me with those puppy eyes and puts his arms up. I CANT resist that and I just love holding him. I still wish he was a little baby.
 
GrendelQ said:
I love that you do this. My baby's turning 5 in Feb, and I sure hope she'll let me carry her, cuddle her, and tuck her in for years to come. Seems like as long as you both want to do this, it's a wonderful thing.

Also, it's a power workout, and who gets enough of those :) .
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I probably dont need more workouts..lol
 
shel90 said:
My son will be 5 years old soon but he is still my "baby". Well, the issue here is when he is tired or just before he goes to bed, he wants me to carry him everywhere. Some people have told me that I am "babying" him but I love holding him when he is in the mood to cuddle and I don't mind carrying him to bed. It is my way of showing him my love. I could make him be like a "big" boy and use his legs. In your opinion, is it considered "babying" him even though it is only when he is tired or just wants to cuddle up? I get confused to why that is considered "babying" him when he is still a toddler. I consider toddlers babies. When is the right age to stop this "babying"?

I don't want him to become spoiled but at the same time, I love the feeling of him cuddling up to me when I carry him.
Click to expand...

Steinhauer said:
when he gets too heavy :giggle:
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what steinhauser said :giggle:

I'm clueless in this subject and I'd be doing what your husband did - a "military-like" stance. Kinda reminds me of "When should I stop breast-feeding the baby?"
 
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