When expecting a child, would you want it to be deaf?

[PurrMeow]

I, myself as being pregnant, expect my child to be deaf, how could u say that? If my child born hearing or deaf, I accept. I ony expect my child to be healthy.

 

[jshumko]

When expecting a child, would you want it to be deaf?

This is a trick question. I do not know how to answer it. I am past child bearing years now anyway, so I can't answer it, really.

I was born and raised hearing and in a hearing world. There are many wonderful sounds in this world, but I also was raised hearing things I wish I had never heard, things that messed me up for most of my life. There have been occasions I wished I were deaf.

There is not a soul on this planet who is perfect and who has or will have an easy life. It may appear easy for some, but some people are good at hiding their pain.

Based on my own experiences, I would not ask myself what I want my child to be. I would ask myself how will I be a good parent to that child.

Sorry for not answering your question. I don't think it should be answered.

 

[GalaxyAngel]

Care to explain your obsession with orphanage? (Wrong spelling?)

EXCUSE ME...
likely wow, you're perfect spelling..
So What..
Thank you for re-correctal sp.. btw why you care talking like that to me.. "
Your obession with orphanage" Hell no.. I've reading and heard about the orphange who parent doesn't want a child who have mental handicap or else... that where send a child to orphange..

I think, you're not reading carefully what am I saying..

{edited}

 

[PurrMeow]

Cloggy, its not nice to say such thing to Galaxy. I myself have adopt son who is hoh. Before I adopted him, my lawyer and others asked me alot of questions such as asked me if I accept child whom is handicapped, blind or deaf, or whatever. I told them I accept no matter because I really want to give a child alot of love that this child needs more love.

 

[LakeTahoe]

Amen, GA! I do agreed with you 100%!!!!
*giving ya a high five*

Cloggy,

Are you afraid of your child become to....

will you dare dump your child if she/he mental handicappid or Deaf or others?

Why do you care this thread about..
cause some of members felt about this really quite turned it off fast..

Ohhh I should have fix my 3 children become DEAF? Heck no.. I do love my precouisly children who they are hearing.. I ain't complain.

Do you expecting PERFECT A CHILD? *phhhfffttt* Give a break!

I've seen this thread long time ago.. oldest thread version 1 or 2 (actually I cannot remmy which verision by AD)

Are you afraid your child is DEAF.. you want fix your child become hearing person and who really your child's identify? What if your child's future and angrily at you why you implant me like a BORG? How can you deal w/your child's decision? Are you dare made your own decision and have your child implanted? Pro vs con ? Can you care discuss ?
*hmmmmm*

I've heard the historial stories who parent were dump a child who has mental handicap or Deaf or blind or else.. wha..ever name it.. and send a child to Oprhane home.. Made me sick!
They feel guility being thier child looks? Why can't you become "LOVING a CHILD"?

speak out w/me .. bring throw your feelings, why you bring this thread about.. ? Give this damn good reason!?

 

[Cloggy]

EXCUSE ME...
likely wow, you're perfect spelling..
So What..
Thank you for re-correctal sp.. btw why you care talking like that to me.. "
Your obession with orphanage" Hell no.. I've reading and heard about the orphange who parent doesn't want a child who have mental handicap or else... that where send a child to orphange..

I think, you're not reading carefully what am I saying..

{edited}

Jumping to conclusions!!!

I'm Dutch, I'm writing in a foreign language so I thought that I spelled it wrong. So I apologized for the confusion but I never commented on your spelling. Sorry you got that impression.

 

[Cloggy]

Cloggy, its not nice to say such thing to Galaxy. I myself have adopt son who is hoh. Before I adopted him, my lawyer and others asked me alot of questions such as asked me if I accept child whom is handicapped, blind or deaf, or whatever. I told them I accept no matter because I really want to give a child alot of love that this child needs more love.

Confused... read my post to Galaxy

 

[LakeTahoe]

When I got pregnant, we aren't sure if our child will be hearing or deaf. But deep in my heart I know our baby will be hearing. I accept who my child is. Deaf or hearing, anything, period! Why do God created us for???? Accept your child if she/he is deaf, hearing, blind, retard, etc etc!

I cannot believe you bought that up!!! *RME*

 

[PurrMeow]

Cloggy?
Let me ask u a quick question, even if your child is deaf, or handicap or blind, are u scary of handling this child?

 

[Teresh]

I'm not married, and at the moment I'm really not thinking about having kids that much. Still, if I were, I wouldn't care if my children were hearing or deaf. Regardless of which they were, they would need to accept that it's a bilingual household, so it doesn't really matter to me.

 

[CutePommie]

Oh JEEZ my God !! i can not to believe read this thread from Cloggy . how could you put it. As when i was expected all my 3 kids, i wouldn't never thought to say like that.
By the way one of my kid is deaf i still so proud of all my kids i treat them all as equal,

By the way i already knew 2 of my kids are hearing before they were born but the one i was not sure i just wait till it being born then later on and i thought so that he is deaf, and i does love them all dearly they are all my life .
But how could Cloggy say it which perfer to having deaf or hearing kids .JEEZ..

What sort of person are you to Cloggy? why do have to be perfect , doesn't matter whether deaf or hearing they are all the same as least they are healthy that is all the matters !!
Thank you ...

 

[Cloggy]

Cloggy?
Let me ask u a quick question, even if your child is deaf, or handicap or blind, are u scary of handling this child?

How can you be scared of a child that you love?? No. Overwhelmed, yes, because I have no knowledge of how to live with a handicapped of blind child. But I'll learn quickly. A deaf child would be no problem. I just hope that we know as fast as possible so that we can start signing as soon as possible.

When we found out she was deaf, it overwhelmed us. But then, whe just started with sign and discovered a new language and a new world. Growing up in a foreign country - (We are Dutch, living in Norway) I new that learning a new language (sign) would be OK. After English, French, German and Norwegian, Sign language is just another journey.
The first time in the "deaf" kindergarden, we were the ones that couldn't communicate because we didn't know sign. But we picked it up real quick thanks to lessons and help from organisations.

So to answer your question, it was scary in the beginning because we didn't have a clue. But that lasts only for a very short time. We saw it as a challenge.

We have friends (2 families) that have children with Downs Syndrom, so we new that this could happen to us as well. Just by chance. And looking at these parents I know that we would have loved such a child just as much.

But the future can be overwhelming. Having to take care of a 15-year old Downs boy is no picknick. But scared, no.

Hope this answered your question.

 

[Cloggy]

But how could Cloggy say it which perfer to having deaf or hearing kids...

It's not about prefering, it's about wishing for your child.
If our next child would be deaf, fine. For him/her I hope he/she's hearing.

.... why do have to be perfect , doesn't matter whether deaf or hearing they are all the same as least they are healthy that is all the matters !!

They are perfect, she is perfect.

But you are insinuating that a child that is not healthy is not perfect.... Why is it OK to wish for a healthy child, but no to wish for a hearing child?

 

[GalaxyAngel]

How can you be scared of a child that you love?? No. Overwhelmed, yes, because I have no knowledge of how to live with a handicapped of blind child. But I'll learn quickly. A deaf child would be no problem. I just hope that we know as fast as possible so that we can start signing as soon as possible.

When we found out she was deaf, it overwhelmed us. But then, whe just started with sign and discovered a new language and a new world. Growing up in a foreign country - (We are Dutch, living in Norway) I new that learning a new language (sign) would be OK. After English, French, German and Norwegian, Sign language is just another journey.
The first time in the "deaf" kindergarden, we were the ones that couldn't communicate because we didn't know sign. But we picked it up real quick thanks to lessons and help from organisations.

So to answer your question, it was scary in the beginning because we didn't have a clue. But that lasts only for a very short time. We saw it as a challenge.

We have friends (2 families) that have children with Downs Syndrom, so we new that this could happen to us as well. Just by chance. And looking at these parents I know that we would have loved such a child just as much.

But the future can be overwhelming. Having to take care of a 15-year old Downs boy is no picknick. But scared, no.

Hope this answered your question.

And also you can challenge learn sumth'n new experience for you and communcation your Deaf Child.. are you willing do that?

Look at me.. I born raise Deaf..and doing fine... Look my 3 hearing children who accept am I Deaf.. and easily communcation does well and taught sign languages.. You'll learn your child teaching you Sign Languages and buy Sign Languages book at nearest your location store... Why not.. Are you afraid of mistake faced your Deaf Child front of public.. Why don't you vist Senior Deaf High School.. What did you see Deaf Teenagers and Adults can COMMUNCATION by sign languages.

Sign Languages are beautiful. Open and understanding communcation easier.. Deaf people can handle communcation w/Hearing people by written the paper and pen... They aren't dumb..

Now you're here member of AD.. Why you here ? What your reason for asking..

Look Hearing people who members of AD.. who they have Deaf Child or an interpreter.. All of them are open and understanding feedback communcation..

I think you feel hesitile faced your Deaf Child future?

 

[CutePommie]

It's not about prefering, it's about wishing for your child.
If our next child would be deaf, fine. For him/her I hope he/she's hearing.

They are perfect, she is perfect.

But you are insinuating that a child that is not healthy is not perfect.... Why is it OK to wish for a healthy child, but no to wish for a hearing child?

You cant say to have to be wish there are no such as wish that child have to be hearing oh plzzz .... !!
:roll:

It wouldnt be the child at the fault to be deaf when you wish that this child is hearing eh is that right NO !!! i feel sorry for your kids .. what sort of mother you are ... remmy it never to be at the kids to be fault when you wish it have to be hearing not to be having to be deaf .. sigh !!!

 

[Malfoyish]

Okayyyyy...this is sticky...VERY sticky...and by this I'm not referring to forum terms meaning "important."

I think I do understand what Cloggy is trying to say - and I've looked at all perspectives here.

Most of you already know - I am expecting in just three months. I will have to admit that I've wondered many, MANY things about my unborn little girl. First off, I wondered if she'll have brown hair like mine or blonde curls like her sister and brothers did when THEY were babies...I wonder if she'll have my husband's smile, and I wonder whether or not she'll be a soccer player like my five year old...(something's gotta come out of all that kicking she's doing in utero!)...I wonder whether or not she'll be born before, on or after her due date, I wonder SO MANY THINGS...and yes, I also did wonder whether or not she'll be hearing impaired or have normal hearing. I wondered the very same thing about my son when I was pregnant with him mainly because there IS always a possibility and as a deaf person myself, I was worried that if he couldn't hear something, then...well...neither could I. I believe it to be a common anxiety...and additionally, I think that regardless of whether or not the inquisitive parent-to-be is deaf him or herself, that is always going to be one of the general questions.

Now - that being said...I'll admit that growing up deaf was NOT easy on me. I was picked on, abused, tortured by kids in school, I often went home crying because they'd play monkey-in-the-middle with my hearing aid in the schoolyard. It was almost ALWAYS about my deafness and my peers' inability to be sensitive towards me.

So, no, I really wouldn't wish that my child go through some of the same issues I did. This is not an embarrassment issue at all - for if my child is deaf, then her father and I will still love her, nurture her, respect her and care for her all the same. It is unconditional, and that's the way a parent's love should be. It's not something we have a choice in anyway...once that egg is fertilized...well...that's it...there's a set of rules established for this baby that we have no influence on - for example, gender, race, future eye color, genes, etc. Other congenital birth defects, too...the list is truly endless.

Hope this helps a little.

 

[Cloggy]

Interesting to see how many of you assumptions are wrong. Allow me to make comments in red inside the quote....

And also you can challenge learn sumth'n new experience for you and communcation your Deaf Child.. are you willing do that? That was one option. We took the other option. Not an easy choise. Can't have both.

Look at me.. I born raise Deaf..and doing fine... Look my 3 hearing children who accept am I Deaf.. and easily communcation does well and taught sign languages.. You'll learn your child teaching you Sign Languages and buy Sign Languages book at nearest your location store... Why not.. I did. Bought four books; for my kids, for us and for the grandparents. Are you afraid of mistake faced your Deaf Child front of public.. Why don't you vist Senior Deaf High School.. What did you see Deaf Teenagers and Adults can COMMUNCATION by sign languages. Like I said. That was an option. We chose to learn sign AND make it possible for her to hear. What's your problem with that?

Sign Languages are beautiful. Wonderfull language. So easy to say beautiful things with delicate gestures. We still use it at home. Open and understanding communcation easier.. Deaf people can handle communcation w/Hearing people by written the paper and pen... They aren't dumb.. Why do you have the opinion that that is the opinion that other people have of deaf people. Newsflash. HEARING PEOPLE DO NOT THINK DEAF PEOPLE ARE DUMB. At least, that's my impression.

Now you're here member of AD.. Why you here ? What your reason for asking..

Look Hearing people who members of AD.. who they have Deaf Child or an interpreter.. All of them are open and understanding feedback communcation.. So as long as I don't ask any questions, trying to learn from people here, I am welcome.... Some communication skills.

I think you feel hesitile faced your Deaf Child future?

My deaf childs future looks great. It started off like that. And in addition, she can hear.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Oh dear, you has no reason to be upset over Cloggy´s thread here. I beleive it´s not his intention to upset you but out of his nature curiously.

Honestly, I´m not surprised about Cloggy´s question here because he´s not only one who ask me question like this. I don´t mind to open to answer their questions... Now is Cloggy here... I don´t mind to answer his question as well.

I do not compare Cloggy with my mother in law because I know the difference.

My mother-in-law still can´t accept my hubby´s deafness. She is too afraid to have my hubby to marry me because of "deafness genes" after learn that I born deaf due rubella. She is too scared because I "born" deaf, not lost my hearing for reason... (My hubby lost hearing to deaf due illness when he was 3 years old.) My Dad tried to convinced my hubby´s parents that my future children will be hearing... My deaf is one of "accident" because my mom didn´t get rubella shot. All what she worried is either my child is deaf or not... I was like *sigh* because I thought she would be happy to be Granny... I repeat her that I don´t care either my child is deaf nor hearing but mainly healthy. All what she said to me... "You don´t understand how I feel because you both are deaf"... *sigh*

After my first child born, I noticed my parents tried to do something to make newborn hear... I said NOTHING and took my baby to home... They were like :-o and ask me why I go home... I said that I´m too tired...

When Danny was 6 months old, he has to go ear test... I told them that it´s Danny´s ear test today... They said to me... "we pray that Danny is not deaf"... Physican doubt either Danny can hear or not... and asked us to bring Danny again for next appointment... My hubby & I agreed before went to their house. All what they do is jump on us.... "Hearing"? We are unfinish talk... I said... Physican is not sure so he want to test Danny again for next appointment.... They are panic and cried... It got su ENOUGH... I said harsh to them... Ha, it prove us that you both do not accept what your Grandson is... I see myself that you worried all is EAR... then storm off... After next ear appointment, we doesn´t bother to give them good news that Danny is hearing. Many weeks after that, they came to us and feel shame... and want to see Danny because they love him too much... They apologied to us... that´s because they are too scared... I told them to respect us because Danny is our CHILD.

Opposite to hearing friends including Cloggy... I don´t mind their questions because they like to know how we feeling when we have deaf child. I do not offense to hearing people´s questions but parents-in-law...YES.

Here is my answer to your question, Cloggy.

Honestly, I really never thought about deaf or hearing when I had 2 pregnanies but healthy... All what I worried either my babies are healthy or not... Never thought about EAR... I will accept if my child is deaf or hearing...

Any questions?

 

[Cloggy]

Okayyyyy...this is sticky...VERY sticky...and by this I'm not referring to forum terms meaning "important."

I think I do understand what Cloggy is trying to say - and I've looked at all perspectives here.

Most of you already know - I am expecting in just three months. I will have to admit that I've wondered many, MANY things about my unborn little girl. First off, I wondered if she'll have brown hair like mine or blonde curls like her sister and brothers did when THEY were babies...I wonder if she'll have my husband's smile, and I wonder whether or not she'll be a soccer player like my five year old...(something's gotta come out of all that kicking she's doing in utero!)...I wonder whether or not she'll be born before, on or after her due date, I wonder SO MANY THINGS...and yes, I also did wonder whether or not she'll be hearing impaired or have normal hearing. I wondered the very same thing about my son when I was pregnant with him mainly because there IS always a possibility and as a deaf person myself, I was worried that if he couldn't hear something, then...well...neither could I. I believe it to be a common anxiety...and additionally, I think that regardless of whether or not the inquisitive parent-to-be is deaf him or herself, that is always going to be one of the general questions.

Now - that being said...I'll admit that growing up deaf was NOT easy on me. I was picked on, abused, tortured by kids in school, I often went home crying because they'd play monkey-in-the-middle with my hearing aid in the schoolyard. It was almost ALWAYS about my deafness and my peers' inability to be sensitive towards me.

So, no, I really wouldn't wish that my child go through some of the same issues I did. This is not an embarrassment issue at all - for if my child is deaf, then her father and I will still love her, nurture her, respect her and care for her all the same. It is unconditional, and that's the way a parent's love should be. It's not something we have a choice in anyway...once that egg is fertilized...well...that's it...there's a set of rules established for this baby that we have no influence on - for example, gender, race, future eye color, genes, etc. Other congenital birth defects, too...the list is truly endless.

Hope this helps a little.

It does. Thanks for your input.

 

[Etoile]

I am surprised nobody has mentioned the deaf lesbian women in the DC area who wanted a deaf baby. They specifically chose a sperm donor who has generations of deaf in his family. They had a deaf son. Unfortunately he died a couple of years later because of a heart problem, but it was not related to being deaf. I collected a bunch of news articles about it, you can read my collection here. The last article on the page is the one that started the controversy by the way.