What's the most stupid /unbelievable thing you ever heard?

A woman was complaining that her bird's eggs where not hatching. I asked if her bird was married and the woman looked at me like HUH! I had to tell a total
strange about 'birds and bees'! The bird did not have a mate so the eggs would never hatch . Another one was a woman had a fish tank and there where snails in the tank . The snails kept trying to get out of the tank and the woman kept pushing the poor snails back in the water. I asked the woman where did she get the snails from and she said from her garden. I could not believe the woman was that stupid , but she was. I told her she had the wrong kinds of snails in the tank but she did not believe me.
 
I was watchin Ozzie Osborne life story on HBO...one night, he shit on floor and picked it up with his bare hands. WHat he did with it? He rubbed his shit all over on walls in front of his friends.(in hotel room) Please say no to drugs. :lol:
 
DeafTim said:
I was watchin Ozzie Osborne life story on HBO...one night, he shit on floor and picked it up with his bare hands. WHat he did with it? He rubbed his shit all over on walls in front of his friends.(in hotel room) Please say no to drugs. :lol:
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I don't think it's just the drugs, there is something fundamentally wrong with that man. I was watching a show about him one night, and Tommy Lee was telling a story about how him and the rest of Motley Crue were out with Ozzy one night and Ozzy snorted a line of ants, yes ants, that were crawling across the sidewalk :eek3:
 
ambrosia said:
I don't think it's just the drugs, there is something fundamentally wrong with that man. I was watching a show about him one night, and Tommy Lee was telling a story about how him and the rest of Motley Crue were out with Ozzy one night and Ozzy snorted a line of ants, yes ants, that were crawling across the sidewalk :eek3:
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I agree with you, there is something seriously WRONG with that man...if you can call him a man. He bit a LIVE doves head off on stage at a concert! Do you remember that news coverage? The whole family is royally screwed up. I mean seriously, they scare me. They could house a whole insane asylum with those people.
 
justagirl said:
I agree with you, there is something seriously WRONG with that man...if you can call him a man. He bit a LIVE doves head off on stage at a concert! Do you remember that news coverage? The whole family is royally screwed up. I mean seriously, they scare me. They could house a whole insane asylum with those people.
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it was a bat!!! somehow so much grosser than a dove, I guess because bats are so much uckier?? I guess that was actually an accident. part of the show he'd bite off the heads of plastic bats, but someone in the audience threw a real one up on the stage, and Ozzy didn't know until he bit it. Maybe that's why he's batshit now?? like literally, maybe it wasn't the drugs at all, it was bad bat blood, or batshit.
 
ambrosia said:
it was a bat!!! somehow so much grosser than a dove, I guess because bats are so much uckier?? I guess that was actually an accident. part of the show he'd bite off the heads of plastic bats, but someone in the audience threw a real one up on the stage, and Ozzy didn't know until he bit it. Maybe that's why he's batshit now?? like literally, maybe it wasn't the drugs at all, it was bad bat blood, or batshit.
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ROTFLMAO

Ambrosia,

I just have to say, you crack me up. Reminds me of my younger years.
 
yeah...it was a bat...and teens were crazy about Ozzie in the 70's/early 80's....His wife seems nice, tho' ...and his 2 kids (?)....
 
At the time there was a lot of things wrong with Ozzy. He did poorly in school because he had ADHD and I think dyslexia, or maybe just the ADHD, but back then they didn't diagnosed things like that. He wasn't learning and eventually dropped out. He had very low self esteem that he tried to cover up with humor, drugs, and strange antics. Ozzy had been addict since he was young and leading Black Sabbath. He lived a really poor life, but had a good family. Then one day while he was still with Sabbath, touring I believe, his Father died. He had a great relationship with his Dad so this crushed him and he got into drugs even more. It got to a point where it was binges everday, then he got kicked out of the band and continued to spiral down. There are severe long term affects of drugs and alcohol even when do them for short time. Ozzy used them a majority of his adulthood, so naturally he seems a bit loopy in the brain. Whenever he did get clean throught his life, something else traumatic would happen, like the death of his good friend Randy. Ozzy only knew one way of coping with his feelings which was abusing drugs and doing insane shit while under the influence. My reason for saying all this is that I don't think it's necessarily fair to view Ozzy and his family only on the surface. He has done bad and crazy things, but he also struggled with a lot demons, and most of the wild things he's done that he gets judged for are completely superficial and done when he wasn't in his right mind.

I would call Ozzy a man because even though it literally took him decades to get clean, he still did it and is sober today. He gave a crap finally and got his shit together. He fixed his broken relationships and started working on getting himself well. Some addicts, especially if they've been using for so long, will just say "fuck it, this is me now." But he didn't do that. I respect Ozzy for that. I agree that they're family had a lot of issues during those times, but I don't think they should be seen as crazy people and mocked because they were dysfunctional. They didn't chose to have a severe addict as the head of their household and they certainly didn't revel in it like their dysfunction was something to be celebrated. The good thing is that they've got their shit together now. I like the Osbornes. They're an example of trudging through ridiculous rough times together and being a support system for someone in your family through uber thick and thin. :)
 
ambrosia said:
it was a bat!!! somehow so much grosser than a dove, I guess because bats are so much uckier?? I guess that was actually an accident. part of the show he'd bite off the heads of plastic bats, but someone in the audience threw a real one up on the stage, and Ozzy didn't know until he bit it. Maybe that's why he's batshit now?? like literally, maybe it wasn't the drugs at all, it was bad bat blood, or batshit.
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I was wrong he bit the head off a live dove in front of some producers, I thought it was onstage. I didn't even know about the bat (or maybe I did and just got the two confused)...sick... surprised he doesn't have rabies.

I remember the dove thing when Ozzy was going to start that TV show on MTV? And Sharon was talking about it. Here is an article:

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/99999999/ENT/502270318/Ozzy-left-his-mark

And a part that I copied and pasted:

Osbourne already had been prone to decapitations of winged creatures: He bit the head off a live dove in 1981 in Los Angeles, during a meeting with horrified record-company executives.


Either way, sick sick sick!!!! A bat is bad enough but a dove??? A symbol of peace, he is FUBAR.
 
rockin'robin said:
yeah...it was a bat...and teens were crazy about Ozzie in the 70's/early 80's....His wife seems nice, tho' ...and his 2 kids (?)....
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They all give me the heebie jeebies...but that is just my opinion. As RonnyJ pointed out they got their shit together. (I honestly wouldn't know because they scare the hell out of me and I don't follow their story...not to mention I can't really say that I have heard much of them since '99 - '00)

But if they did honestly get some much needed help, good for them. :D
 
I hadn't heard of the dove at all. That's actually a little more disturbing because the bat was a booboo, the dove was on purpose. I like Ozzy though, in all his weirdness. Have you seen interviews with him? I saw quite a few episodes of their reality show, and that's so much for reminding me how long ago that was :barf: He's a funny funny man. He seems really nice too, just odd lol
 
ambrosia said:
I don't think it's just the drugs, there is something fundamentally wrong with that man. I was watching a show about him one night, and Tommy Lee was telling a story about how him and the rest of Motley Crue were out with Ozzy one night and Ozzy snorted a line of ants, yes ants, that were crawling across the sidewalk :eek3:
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:shock:

That's nasty and insane. :crazy:

Ozzy is strange(maybe thats why he's wealthy) and seem like a cool dude. He had a bad drinkin problem for yrs. What's strange to me is that he looks very healthy. :dunno:
 
This happened...today...about 4 hours ago!

I was on the phone at work speaking to a loan officer (I'm a loan processor)

Me: Okay you need to fix these things (I list off items that need correcting)

Mr. Ass-hat: What? You mean you aren't going to fix this mess?

Me: No, sir...you'll need to make these corrections and resubmit the file so I can look at it, I don't have access to those systems - if you like I can walk you through it.

Mr. Ass-hat: This is your damn JOB! What kind of moron do you think I am?!?!?

Me: (God help me...it slipped out of my mouth before I could sensor it) Ummm...how many kinds of moron are there?

***The names in this story have been changed to protect the moronic***
 
ContessaC said:
This happened...today...about 4 hours ago!

I was on the phone at work speaking to a loan officer (I'm a loan processor)

Me: Okay you need to fix these things (I list off items that need correcting)

Mr. Ass-hat: What? You mean you aren't going to fix this mess?

Me: No, sir...you'll need to make these corrections and resubmit the file so I can look at it, I don't have access to those systems - if you like I can walk you through it.

Mr. Ass-hat: This is your damn JOB! What kind of moron do you think I am?!?!?

Me: (God help me...it slipped out of my mouth before I could sensor it) Ummm...how many kinds of moron are there?

***The names in this story have been changed to protect the moronic***
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :laugh2::laugh2::laugh2::laugh2::laugh2:
 
Someone said this..."When I was a kid, I used to know - not think, but I knew how babies were made. It was when a boy and a girl really liked each other and so back to back, they bent over and farted into each others assholes. This would make the girl pregnant. I vividly remember fantasizing about this girl crystal (2nd grade) I had a huge crush on and used to day dream about us farting into each others balloon knots."
 
few years ago there tv show about stupid and embarssing things that come into ER,i was half looking when i saw my cousin he used nail gun missed and nailed his nuts on to hardboard
 
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