What's the most stupid /unbelievable thing you ever heard?

SeanB said:
Anyone under the influence of what-have-you, just listen. The sad thing is, they speak of exaggerated self diagnosis of their lives, although hilarious, they eventually become of what they speak of (psych circles refer to this as placebo effect). The latest I've heard is about getting involved in an orgy and days later thinking he contracted an STD not sounding concerned. What-evah dude, yeah I'll drink to that syphillis that's itchin' ya! :lol:
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Oh, wow! I said something very similar! Go look.
 
dereksbicycles said:
I buy and sell bikes so I got few things.

1. We agreed on price of $90 for a bike. He wanted to pay by check. I had to tell him, cash only. He then wanted bike for $85 because it'll cost him money to drive to ATM to get money.

2. Customer came on a Tuesday. We agreed on $80 for a bike. She said she gets paid on Friday. I said ok. Then Friday comes and now she wants bike for $40.
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*expletive* Lowballin' hustlers. Probably a CraigsLister!
 
SneakerNet said:
At my old job, working in Architect firm and I was a manager of CAD dept plus IT. One day we had an power outage for a very short time. Everything seem to be ok and the server have no interruption. Then later, one guy waved at me saying that he couldn't get a file off of the server. I checked and truely enough that I couldn't get on the server. So, I went to the server room and found out that the UPS (Uninterruptable power supply) didn't switched back to normal electric instead of running on battery. The server was completely shut down. You know, there's something wrong with switching system. So, I decided to move all the plugs off of UPS to power strip.
Suddenly, saw my boss who is partner of the company, walking toward the server room (see him through the glasses door), and he opened and took a peek through the opening of the door and said:
"Do you know what you are doing?"
Me (puzzled, and holding the three prong power plug): "No, I never seen this plug before, where this go?? What this do?"
Boss dropped his head so low, facepalmed. Then he closed the door walking away with his head shaking....
I was hoping that I made him more nervous...

Me thinking..that was the stupiest question he ever asked me.
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I hope that didn't factorize into your "was a manager" story? But I must admit that was witty and pretty funny!
 
saywhatkid said:
My former sister in law used to microwave leftovers for her poodle. Cold pork chops weren't acceptable. :eek3:
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Oh, wow. I made a vlog not long ago about my repugance of smaller dogs and poodles, and this is a poodle.....................
 
RonnyJ said:
I just recently heard something ridiculous. Okay, my roommate is taking advanced Spanish and in a discussion about some Spanish Civil War one of her classmates said:

Spain has a very violent history. In my opinion, violence in order to fight for rights and power is apart of Spanish culture and is encrusted in their history. For instance, in the Rocenquista and the Inquistion, thousands of people were killed because of a difference in ideas. In the conquest of Mexico and South America, the indigenous people were killed and were subdued because the Spainards wanted power and to control the land. When they had a difference of opinion among themselves, violence was "the solution." I hope that another Civil War doesn't occur, but it is clear that violence is an important piece of their history.

Now...my roommate got half way through this and already I was saying "is this for real?" Basically what this girl just said is that Spanish people are violent by nature, which is stupid because if you were to judge people based on their culture's war history (of all things), then everyone in the world would be violent and irrational by nature. I laughed so hard by the end of this response, especially since this girl believes another Civil War could break out simply because "it's their way."

:lol: :lol: Oh man, so ridiculous.
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Civil? ...................
 
whatdidyousay! said:
A woman was complaining that her bird's eggs where not hatching. I asked if her bird was married and the woman looked at me like HUH! I had to tell a total
strange about 'birds and bees'! The bird did not have a mate so the eggs would never hatch . Another one was a woman had a fish tank and there where snails in the tank . The snails kept trying to get out of the tank and the woman kept pushing the poor snails back in the water. I asked the woman where did she get the snails from and she said from her garden. I could not believe the woman was that stupid , but she was. I told her she had the wrong kinds of snails in the tank but she did not believe me.
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I gotta wipe coffee off my monitor!!
 
ambrosia said:
I don't think it's just the drugs, there is something fundamentally wrong with that man. I was watching a show about him one night, and Tommy Lee was telling a story about how him and the rest of Motley Crue were out with Ozzy one night and Ozzy snorted a line of ants, yes ants, that were crawling across the sidewalk :eek3:
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Nothing wrong with some extra protein.. heh.
 
ambrosia said:
it was a bat!!! somehow so much grosser than a dove, I guess because bats are so much uckier?? I guess that was actually an accident. part of the show he'd bite off the heads of plastic bats, but someone in the audience threw a real one up on the stage, and Ozzy didn't know until he bit it. Maybe that's why he's batshit now?? like literally, maybe it wasn't the drugs at all, it was bad bat blood, or batshit.
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Batshit??? But, but, but guano is yummy! Nom nom nom. :naughty: Lol. J/K
 
ContessaC said:
This happened...today...about 4 hours ago!

I was on the phone at work speaking to a loan officer (I'm a loan processor)

Me: Okay you need to fix these things (I list off items that need correcting)

Mr. Ass-hat: What? You mean you aren't going to fix this mess?

Me: No, sir...you'll need to make these corrections and resubmit the file so I can look at it, I don't have access to those systems - if you like I can walk you through it.

Mr. Ass-hat: This is your damn JOB! What kind of moron do you think I am?!?!?

Me: (God help me...it slipped out of my mouth before I could sensor it) Ummm...how many kinds of moron are there?

***The names in this story have been changed to protect the moronic***
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........take an early day off................... The stress is unbearable! :giggle:
 
ambrosia said:
A few years ago I worked in housekeeping for a vacation condo rental agency, we cleaned condos in 5 different complexes up and down the same road. Well i worked with an absolute moron (lots of stories of stupid stuff this woman said) but she used to do a lot of dumpster diving, always checking to see if people threw away "good" stuff. Both of us were room inspectors, most of the time, so we didn't work with each other all day but all of us inspectors would get together for lunch, but we would see each other here and there over the course of the day. I saw her one morning, she was all excited because someone threw away an entire 6 pack of beer.

Saw her at lunch later that day, I'm in my car about to take off and she comes up with her 6 pack to show it off...I look at it, look at her
me:Betty that's O'douls, there's no alcohol in it
Betty: yes there is, look, it says 5% alcohol
me: Betty, that says .5%, that's like half a percent, you'd get more f'd up if you drank a whole bottle of nyquil

I shouldn't have told her, just let her go home and drink and start thinking there was something wrong with her when she wasn't getting a buzz
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Haha! I was excited to drink an O'doul's on my Senior Trip with the deaf school at age 17 and was thinking I drank a beer then began waiting for the effect............! The server was happy to get a tip from me at least.
 
SilentRider said:
One of the many I've heard....
Is due to the suubject of bø, due to not using dedorant.. well I heard that when a man has bo it is a very calming and turns on women. Lol yeah right
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There's a fine line between body odor and human pheromones. :roll:
 
SeanB said:
I find it amusing when a new month starts and everybody’s like: “oh thank God September ended, welcome October hope you’ll be a good month” or “Hope everybody have a good new month and hope it’ll be better!” Or when it’s Sunday and everybody’s like: “oh God noooooo! tomorrow’s Monday! :O God I hate Mondays!”
I’m like: ser-i-ous-ly. GET USED TO IT, YOU HAVE LIVED A LOT OF MONDAYS ALL YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Get over it, make it wortwhile or STFU! LOL
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The reason I won't STFU is because I have a good reason for that. At the end of the month, I can take satisfaction on the financial goals I have accomplished for the month, and I can look forward to closing the current month's budget and preparing to open the next month's budget. For every goal that I accomplish, the closer I am to completing "capital formation" goals so that I can do whatever I want.

I used to dread weekends until I had my accommodations plan changed to meet my needs. In general, I'm not on the floor with customers very much and have other duties that keep me away from customers during the weekend. Especially now in Oct.-Nov., I dread the week days because they are so slow, and business is slow even for this time of the year. It felt like business fell off a cliff post-August. I hope it picks up in 3 weeks because I need the money to stay on top of my goals.
 
A couple of months ago, I took my son to a genetic test to search the answer for his autism and other health issues. When the result came in, the genetic doctor said "It's more likely that his deafness causes obesity." At that moment, I could not believe what I was seeing. I asked the doctor via interpreter to repeat what she just had said because it stunned me. Sure enough, she repeated it. Ohhh, you can imagine I was so so LIVID! I was fuming! I don't remember what I exactly said cuz I said a lot of stuff out of anger but I do remember saying that deafness has nothing to do with the weight. I was like, you call yourself a genetic doctor?? Of course, I demanded for another opinion. Unbelieveable. Just when I thought I have seen it all, this one jumps out.
 
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