What communications do you use while socializing with a group of hearing people?

[kokonut]

Lipread and I hear bits and pieces. Never found it tiring though. I do most of the talking anyway.

Heh. Well, I have asked people to move into a room with less din. Normally it's the closest 3 or 4 people I follow. In a really loud environment such as in a room full of people on wooden floors, I talk to one person at time. He/she would talk into my ear and I do the same because even for a hearing person it's loud, too. Echo-ey room is the bane.

 

[TXgolfer]

Yes, exactly like that.

Heh. Well, I have asked people to move into a room with less din. Normally it's the closest 3 or 4 people I follow. In a really loud environment such as in a room full of people on wooden floors, I talk to one person at time. He/she would talk into my ear and I do the same because even for a hearing person it's loud, too. Echo-ey room is the bane.

Yeah in noisy situations I pretty much keep it one on one.

 

[TWA]

Listen and talk, and have good convos.

No lipreading? Do you feel like you are getting all of the conversation and able to follow along as it shifts between different speakers in the group?


As for me, I try my best to lipread and listen. If it's a quiet environment, like a dinner table in a home, then my residual hearing+aids is very useful, but I still miss a majority of the conversation because of the shifts between speakers. I just can't keep up. If it's in a loud environment, like a bar or restaurant or what not, forget it. Impossible. I don't even bother putting myself in these situations anymore.

 

[kokonut]

No lipreading? Do you feel like you are getting all of the conversation and able to follow along as it shifts between different speakers in the group?

As for me, I try my best to lipread and listen. If it's a quiet environment, like a dinner table in a home, then my residual hearing+aids is very useful, but I still miss a majority of the conversation because of the shifts between speakers. I just can't keep up. If it's in a loud environment, like a bar or restaurant or what not, forget it. Impossible. I don't even bother putting myself in these situations anymore.

Between speakers are not usually a problem. It's the environment that I have to work with and how and where I position myself, and how many people we're talking about. I have a range of tools and strategies, along with a bit of educating people I meet along the way depending what the situation is like and how I can improve my communication access. I listen most of the time. I'm a terrible lip-reader.

 

[DeafBadger]

Telepathy. Or so the hearies seem to think. :P

In reality, lipreading and sometimes pen and paper. But usually, in a group of hearies, lipreading is not enough to keep up and I end up just sitting there not knowing what the conversation is about.

I really dislike trying to keep up conversationally with a group of hearies. Just can't keep up, even with lipreading. If it's really noisy, like a bar or restaurant, forget it.

 

[DeafBadger]

I go to my own little corner and play around on my phone. If people make an effort to talk to me, I'll talk back. But if it's in a group convo, you could just as well forget it! I'm not making 400% effort to participate.

I gotta say that since connecting with the deaf community this year and learning that there's other normal people just like me, I am less willing to put in that "400%" to understand hearies. I just don't want to anymore. It is too tiring, too exhausting, and quite frankly, it ticks me off. It helps that I don't feel embarrassed about not understanding them anymore. I've realized, it's okay not to understand them. The hearies need to make more of an effort.

 

[AJWSmith]

I use a wide range of strategies including:

• lipreading
• hearing aids
• personal listener device (Contego)
• sitting in a corner or with my back to a wall or window
• trying to engage in an one-to-one conversation rather than follow the group
• choosing to sit in the quietest spot
• get my wife or understanding friend to fill in the gaps so I don't get left behind
• be prepared to chip in and move the conversation onto a new topic that I know about
• having a genuine & caring interest in other people

It is exhausting. And sometimes it's too difficult and I switch off, going onto my smartphone instead, or going outside alone for a breather.

A big help for me this year is discovering the AllDeaf community and realising it's not my fault or that I'm stupid when I can't follow a group conversation. I had unwittingly absorbed this audist attitude.

And remember that many hearies find socialising with groups of other hearing people difficult (e.g. they're shy, or they're from a different culture or they have a facial disfigurement).

 

[shel90]

No lipreading? Do you feel like you are getting all of the conversation and able to follow along as it shifts between different speakers in the group?


As for me, I try my best to lipread and listen. If it's a quiet environment, like a dinner table in a home, then my residual hearing+aids is very useful, but I still miss a majority of the conversation because of the shifts between speakers. I just can't keep up. If it's in a loud environment, like a bar or restaurant or what not, forget it. Impossible. I don't even bother putting myself in these situations anymore.

Rememberr when we went to Baltimore Dphh that you and i were chatting with a hearing man who didnt know any sign language outside? I felt that we were able to lipread him easily because he was accodomating. If i remember correctly. That was funny..lol

 

[Grummer]

i really cringe at new threads with this sort 'how do you cope with deafness' shit...you lazy newcomers/hearies use the search and find out yourselves. also it realy annoying that 'we' have to 'explain ourselves' like its we 'own' these so called communicatin issues....really sucky...come on folks get a brain, tell the other to sod off, we already know whats it like, and we ought to think about how to make it better rather than saying it as a 'fact' like really its not 'facts' it is more a social problem, which Means IT INVOLVES HEARING PEOPLES IGNORANCES!!!
this is to say, 'coping mechanisms or 'how do we handle groups' is a cop-out , cut the shit, get real its not what we wanting right? we want people to LEARN, not US to learn how to deal with it, we already know it doesnt work 'on our own'...grrrrrr
sorry folks but i had to say this, it is NOT on......

it is time to start thinking about all this differently.....

 

[Babyblue]

Lipread, listen, and speak to them. If I do not understand them I simply ask them to repeat what they said.

Group conversations can be tricky. Majority of the hearing people I hang out with, make effort to include me so I am not so left out.

 

[SneakerNet]

In family gathering, I give everyone a megaphone... aaaah yes I understand!! (envision yourself with full of barking family)

 

[rockin'robin]

In family gathering, I give everyone a megaphone... aaaah yes I understand!! (envision yourself with full of barking family)

 

[dereksbicycles]

Hey, why not just play Wii or PS3??? No need for communications such as writing back and forth.

 

[MyNameIsNO]

i rare chat hearing people. lot work and not easy. i sit alone most time play my cell and chat all deaf keep me company!!!!!

 

[shel90]

Also, if i am wirh one hearing non signer, i sm ok and chat for hours. Just group settings is where i wont make that 400% effort.

 

[shel90]

Also, if i am wirh one hearing non signer, i sm ok and chat for hours. Just group settings is where i wont make that 400% effort.

 

[Lily7]

i really cringe at new threads with this sort 'how do you cope with deafness' shit...you lazy newcomers/hearies use the search and find out yourselves. also it realy annoying that 'we' have to 'explain ourselves' like its we 'own' these so called communicatin issues....really sucky...come on folks get a brain, tell the other to sod off, we already know whats it like, and we ought to think about how to make it better rather than saying it as a 'fact' like really its not 'facts' it is more a social problem, which Means IT INVOLVES HEARING PEOPLES IGNORANCES!!!
this is to say, 'coping mechanisms or 'how do we handle groups' is a cop-out , cut the shit, get real its not what we wanting right? we want people to LEARN, not US to learn how to deal with it, we already know it doesnt work 'on our own'...grrrrrr
sorry folks but i had to say this, it is NOT on......

it is time to start thinking about all this differently.....

Wow, grumpy much?

Obviously a good number of AD'rs were not offended or bothered by the question asked, as evidenced by the number of responses.

There is nothing wrong with what the OP asked. I personally saw it as someone who might be experiencing frustrations in groups and wanting to know if he/she was not alone in this. Even if it wasn't that, perhaps it was simple curiosity. Nothing wrong with that. It's people like you getting ruffled feathers over lack of perfection in interacting with deaf people that give the rest of us a bad name and make hearing people say stuff like "Wow, deaf have chips on their shoulders and bad attitudes." It accomplishes nothing, you know. Being understanding and patient, especially when it's a minor thing like this, accomplishes a lot more.

Besides, if everyone searched the board and no one ever posted anything that had already been posted elsewhere on here, eventually there would be no new threads, ever. It's the nature of a long running and well established message board community to have the same topics come up every now and then and be recycled. It's unreasonable to expect otherwise. If they are recycled too frequently, the mods combine threads.

So. Chill.

 

[kokonut]

Wow, grumpy much?

Obviously a good number of AD'rs were not offended or bothered by the question asked, as evidenced by the number of responses.

There is nothing wrong with what the OP asked. I personally saw it as someone who might be experiencing frustrations in groups and wanting to know if he/she was not alone in this. Even if it wasn't that, perhaps it was simple curiosity. Nothing wrong with that. It's people like you getting ruffled feathers over lack of perfection in interacting with deaf people that give the rest of us a bad name and make hearing people say stuff like "Wow, deaf have chips on their shoulders and bad attitudes." It accomplishes nothing, you know. Being understanding and patient, especially when it's a minor thing like this, accomplishes a lot more.

Besides, if everyone searched the board and no one ever posted anything that had already been posted elsewhere on here, eventually there would be no new threads, ever. It's the nature of a long running and well established message board community to have the same topics come up every now and then and be recycled. It's unreasonable to expect otherwise. If they are recycled too frequently, the mods combine threads.

So. Chill.

Exactly. I agree. Just because a similar topic was already discussed in the past doesn't mean new comers have seen it or are aware of it. A current topic thread would be new to them to join and discuss but it'd be an old, hashed over topic for the older members of AD. So what? Why is that such a problem?

There are a lot of people who have recently loss their hearing or looking for their identities come here for help or search for answers. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them get turned off whenever an ADer act so impudently towards them and they would probably conclude that AD is the wrong place to look for answers or help. I don't blame them for that.

 

[Cheetah]

At our last family gathering, my gf and I escaped downstairs to the Wii game. The kids all joined us and we had a blast! However after the party her mother was upset that we didn't participate in the family gathering upstairs. I wasn't sorry one bit. It was one family gathering I did not feel exhorted afterwards.

 

[Grummer]

Wow, grumpy much?

Obviously a good number of AD'rs were not offended or bothered by the question asked, as evidenced by the number of responses.

There is nothing wrong with what the OP asked. I personally saw it as someone who might be experiencing frustrations in groups and wanting to know if he/she was not alone in this. Even if it wasn't that, perhaps it was simple curiosity. Nothing wrong with that. It's people like you getting ruffled feathers over lack of perfection in interacting with deaf people that give the rest of us a bad name and make hearing people say stuff like "Wow, deaf have chips on their shoulders and bad attitudes." It accomplishes nothing, you know. Being understanding and patient, especially when it's a minor thing like this, accomplishes a lot more.

Besides, if everyone searched the board and no one ever posted anything that had already been posted elsewhere on here, eventually there would be no new threads, ever. It's the nature of a long running and well established message board community to have the same topics come up every now and then and be recycled. It's unreasonable to expect otherwise. If they are recycled too frequently, the mods combine threads.

So. Chill.

no, its political, and you should know that.
this is BS about 'chips on shoulders', and experiencing frustration like this, comes from the ignorance in society which we all know too well about it. if you dont like my opinion, take a hike. go join the CI/hearies freaks group for all i care. "nature of well established?" hic LOL!!, you are Naive , and yes recycled ideas are bad because it recycles poor social tolerance, and even condoning hearing soceity's ignorance. Get real, tolerance on OUR part isnt something we SHOULD put up with, we ought to fight more for real understanding of Deaf Culture, we dont need to 'understand hearing culture" according hearing people self-blinded views....hearing culture can be understood in newer ways...get motivated to learn people!