What age should grown children leave home

We discussed this topic with our kids when they were in high school. Our 'deal' was, as long as they are in school, they would not be charged rent. Once they received their University degrees and began working fulltime, they would be charged rent of a few hundred dollars a month. We encourage/d them to live at home during their first year of working fulltime so that they could bank enough money to have a safety net when they moved out in case they encountered unexpected problems (vehicle repairs, illness or temporary loss of a job). Presently, we have one on their own and one still at home finishing his degree. However, our door will remain open to them should their jobs and/or the economy cause them too much hardship to live on their own for a period of time.
 
Lau2046 said:
A former martial art teacher of mine blew everything his earned following his teacher around the country at the expense of not paying for his house. He lost the house (without a fight) just as his wife was about to give birth for the second time. He moved to expensive apartment that he couldn't afford and went through his cash until he had none.

I pleaded with him to get a job at Walmart or Dunkin Donuts just to have something. He wouldn't. He went to the beach and to the mall and the park. He had his students look for a job for him and apply online on his behalf. He got kicked out of that apartment, wanted money from his students for the move which I didn't give because I had my own bills, he lived in a hotel for two months before he got public housing....and it gets better. He walked off two jobs to continue "teaching" full time (has practically no students) and he lives off welfare. Eventually he wants his wife to work and support him. They're are people out there that just when you think they can't sink any lower, they grab a shovel and start digging. Needless to say I stopped working out with him because I can't study with a person that I don't respect. As it is, I work for him to sit on his ass all day watching Star Trek DVDs and wait for his "students." BTW, he blames me for his current situation because I wouldn't give him money.
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So ridiculous, and I think things are only going to get worse. I know of several who quit their jobs to take disability.
 
Ive been on my own since I was 17, renting then bought my first house, rehabbing it and so on. Now my 3rd house, but with my situation its gonna be slow. But I have moved back to my parents once after my 2nd divorce and its strange to live back at home...didnt last long and I was out again after 3 months stint there, but I did help with bills, repairs.
 
I've heard that 70% of deaf stay with family. I can't say if this number is true, but I believe it is given the number of deaf I know that still live with family or rent from family.

However, it might not be so true for women, most grow up and marry hearing men who would not live at home.

If anyone has data on this, please supply...
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I've heard that 70% of deaf stay with family. I can't say if this number is true, but I believe it is given the number of deaf I know that still live with family or rent from family.

However, it might not be so true for women, most grow up and marry hearing men who would not live at home.

If anyone has data on this, please supply...
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I don't have any data, of the deaf I know IRL I don't know any that live at home.

Here on AD I have seen a few but it seems the percentage would be much lower than that.
 
I still live at home and so does my brother who is 23. My oldest brother moved out last year when he got married, 25 years old. That's our culture and it helps us save a ton of money to buy our own place when we get married. We don't pay "rent" to our parents because we're not tenants, we're their kids. But my brother gives them money every week to chip in, my parents won't tell me how much. They say Fatti gli affari tuoi! = Mind your own business. lol
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I've heard that 70% of deaf stay with family. I can't say if this number is true, but I believe it is given the number of deaf I know that still live with family or rent from family.

However, it might not be so true for women, most grow up and marry hearing men who would not live at home.

If anyone has data on this, please supply...
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sounds like it's more of a guess and assumption based on your observation.
 
My daughter is welcome to live with me/us as long as she wants/needs to.
I love her.

Of course once she starts working I expect her to participate in expenses.
I expect her to share in house chores always.

If she gets married - if she needs financial help - I am willing to carry her and her family over
until she is able to afford her own house. I won't throw her out on her butt
just because there should be some age limit she is allowed to live in my house...

Fuzzy
 
If we still had the house, my parents would encourage my other sister to move in with us given how fast she's dancing just to keep up with all her bills. Living with your parents is only bad if you don't contribute. Family should help family.
 
Audiofuzzy said:
My daughter is welcome to live with me/us as long as she wants/needs to.
I love her.

Of course once she starts working I expect her to participate in expenses.
I expect her to share in house chores always.

If she gets married - if she needs financial help - I am willing to carry her and her family over
until she is able to afford her own house. I won't throw her out on her butt
just because there should be some age limit she is allowed to live in my house...

Fuzzy
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I like this. This is family. Some people think if the grown kids live at home they're free-loaders or lazy bums or immature. But that's not always true. Not in my family anyway, and not in my relatives and friends families in Italy where lots of families live together when the kids are grown.
 
Jiro said:
sounds like it's more of a guess and assumption based on your observation.
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No, I did actually read it somewhere, but I don't remember the source.

TX is probably right, it could be a much lower number.
 
Mimsy said:
I like this. This is family. Some people think if the grown kids live at home they're free-loaders or lazy bums or immature. But that's not always true. Not in my family anyway, and not in my relatives and friends families in Italy where lots of families live together when the kids are grown.
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Yeah, that is a totally different deal.

Now if they are living with family and collecting from government while staying home and playing video games all day.... That's bad. :lol:
 
VacationGuy234 said:
No, I did actually read it somewhere, but I don't remember the source.

TX is probably right, it could be a much lower number.
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exactly. that's what I'm saying. since you don't remember... you guessed and assumed based on your observation... and came up with 70%.
 
Jiro said:
exactly. that's what I'm saying. since you don't remember... you guessed and assumed based on your observation... and came up with 70%.
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You're assuming I guessed the 70%, but you don't know and that's not true. I may be wrong, but that's what I remember.

If you have an issue with it, you are free to report it.
 
My children know that they will always have a safe place here in our home if they ever need it. My kids are all in school and away from home. As long as they are doing their best and not slacking off we will always help them out. We work very hard to provide them a good life and we expect that in return. Plus my house is big and empty and I miss all of them.:-(
 
TXgolfer said:
Yeah, that is a totally different deal.

Now if they are living with family and collecting from government while staying home and playing video games all day.... That's bad. :lol:
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LOL if one of us were like that, my mother would smack us in the head and yell at us to go do something and throw the video game out the 16th floor window! :laugh2:
 
I come from a VERY italian family and for girls and most boys the norm is to stay at home until you're married. It's considered very odd to move out of the house before you're married. Unless you are going to school away..then no problem. Italian kids do not pay rent to their parents. I buy some groceries every once and a while and help out around the house. It definitely has a lot to do with culture sometimes...not just age.
 
Being a single parent of 3 boys...I so looked forward to the day they would be out of the house!...:giggle:...Now, 2 of them are... 21 and 18....only 1 left. (16)...Do I miss them? oh yes!...But...am happy they have J-O-B-S...and both roomating...Doing very well and working everyday...so I do feel blessed...and feel it's my time now...less work, laundry, cooking, etc.

If my child was 18 and was not going to school or working...I would say "no way Jose" are you living here...sleeping all day...doing nothing...I expect them to stand on their own 2 feet and not depend upon a "hand out"....good work ethic is important to me....and the only way they could move back home was if they got laid off from their Jobs....then it would be only temporarily, until they found another one....no "coddling" my boys...they are Men now.
 
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