Trying to understand what it's like for my son

DeafCaroline said:
Lucas, you're still young. Even if you did master speech very well, it does not boost your chances of employment. Not at all. You're still in school and thus, quite sheltered.

You will see what I mean when you graduate from college.
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I disagree. Suppose he applies for a job, and he can barely speak as opposed
to speak very well?

Not everyone is willing to employ a speech -impaired person even if his job skills are excellent.

Fuzzy
 
Audiofuzzy said:
I disagree. Suppose he applies for a job, and he can barely speak as opposed
to speak very well?

Not everyone is willing to employ a speech -impaired person even if his job skills are excellent.

Fuzzy
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Heard of the ADA?
 
Audiofuzzy said:
I disagree. Suppose he applies for a job, and he can barely speak as opposed to speak very well?

Not everyone is willing to employ a speech -impaired person even if his job skills are excellent.
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Nobody here is suggesting that the child's speech therapy be neglected. Although, she is not too far off the base for saying that being able to speak does not improve your odds of securing a job.

If they find out you have hearing loss, that's often the deal-breaker. No matter how well you speak, they won't give it a second thought. That's why the ADA is in place, it's to protect the minorities from blatant discrimination.
 
bchamberlin said:
Lucas -

His deafness has been hard to deal with but I'm also amazed at how easy it is to accept. Not sure if that makes sense.
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It does to me. It tells me you guys are faced with 'terra incognita', so no wonder you are probably scared and unsure how to go forward
yet at the same time you are realistic and "move on" type of person and accepted the situation,
and chose to deal with it instead of whine and sulk which I admire and applaud.

We here deaf and HoH can tell you this much - being born deaf is nothing.
What is hard is being late deafened.

But people who are born deaf, they are born without sound so for them it's a natural state.

We have adjusted to deal with lack of sound from the very beginning.
It's rather the hearing parents and further family and friends who needs to learn to deal with it :)

You are doing very well so far.

I agree with Lucas, though, that it would be very good to also give your child an opportunity to learn how to speak, too. It does come useful in everyday general communication as most people in our immediate surroundings are hearing. But it is not strictly necessary, just useful.

Fuzzy
 
Fuzzy, I don't think this is the place to pull out the yardstick and see who's worse off.
 
Audiofuzzy said:
It does to me. It tells me you guys are faced with 'terra incognita', so no wonder you are probably scared and unsure how to go forward
yet at the same time you are realistic and "move on" type of person and accepted the situation,
and chose to deal with it instead of whine and sulk which I admire and applaud.

We here deaf and HoH can tell you this much - being born deaf is nothing.
What is hard is being late deafened.

But people who are born deaf, they are born without sound so for them it's a natural state.

We have adjusted to deal with lack of sound from the very beginning.
It's rather the hearing parents and further family and friends who needs to learn to deal with it :)

You are doing very well so far.

I agree with Lucas, though, that it would be very good to also give your child an opportunity to learn how to speak, too. It does come useful in everyday general communication as most people in our immediate surroundings are hearing. But it is not strictly necessary, just useful.

Fuzzy
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Speak for yourself when you say "being born deaf is nothing".
 
Have you seen this, btw:

http://www.alldeaf.com/general-chat/98153-baby-ava.html

DeafCaroline
Speak for yourself when you say "being born deaf is nothing".
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Perhaps I didn't say it clear enough - as opposed to be late deafened.

Being born deaf, or HoH, we are being used to deal with it from the very minute we are being born.
It's a natural state for us.
Of course it doesn't mean it's a bed of roses all the time.


ADA - of course. But don't be naive, an employer can make a refusal
looking like it was given on any other ground but poor speech.

Fuzzy
 
BC, your best source of information is getting to know some deaf adults in your area who were deaf as children. What were their lives like? Ask them what you should do to help your deaf child.
 
Audiofuzzy said:
I disagree. Suppose he applies for a job, and he can barely speak as opposed
to speak very well?

Not everyone is willing to employ a speech -impaired person even if his job skills are excellent.

Fuzzy
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You work?

the number one reason they gave me for not hiring me wasn't because of my speech skills but because they didn't think i would be able to keep up, hearing-wise, like phones, meetings, etc. It was my deafness that concerned them, not my speech. and by the way, my speech is very good.

that's why i became my own boss. it was like "fuck you hearing world, i am going to start up my own company and pay myself."

so much more empowering than pounding the streets trying to get a job.
 
mbrek said:
BC, your best source of information is getting to know some deaf adults in your area who were deaf as children. What were their lives like? Ask them what you should do to help your deaf child.
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Excellent suggestion. The best advice we can give you is listen to deaf adults and talk to parents of deaf kids who can sign and/or talk.

Don't get advice from someone who has no idea what's it like to grow up deaf or thinks auditive technology is all a deaf child needs.
 
wonder if its possible to check deaf school if it is in your area and see if there is any program for the parent of deaf children. sometimes they have classes for them to meet each other and learn from each other about how deaf kids are doing and understand better about deaf kids. sometimes they do provide a short sign language class. My mom did contact my old school when i was a 9 months old. Then she met the other parents and the parent who had deaf parents and knows ASL (american sign language). So She taught my mom how to sign language. I hope it will help you to understand better about deaf kids. I was born deaf and had a great chilldhood and deaf friends included hearing friends. Glad that my parents accepted me for who i am. I love them. :)
 
Bottesini said:
WIth the malformed cochlea, the implant has a vastly less chance of working.

You may waste a great deal of time if you go that route because you are going to need to make up for time lost by the time you accept him as a deaf child.
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Perhaps you didn't read the whole thread but where are we not accepting him as a deaf child? We're learning ASL, teaching him ASL, and making sure he gets therapy for these things each week. We're looking into both Maryland School for the Deaf as well as options for mainstreaming him. We're not ignoring anything about his deafness with the hope that he hears one day. Regardless of implants, he'll have to know ASL. We already know that's a must. We're accepting him as a deaf child but we're also open to the idea of implants in the off chance that they can help.

--Brian
 
bchamberlin said:
Perhaps you didn't read the whole thread but where are we not accepting him as a deaf child? We're learning ASL, teaching him ASL, and making sure he gets therapy for these things each week. We're looking into both Maryland School for the Deaf as well as options for mainstreaming him. We're not ignoring anything about his deafness with the hope that he hears one day. Regardless of implants, he'll have to know ASL. We already know that's a must. We're accepting him as a deaf child but we're also open to the idea of implants in the off chance that they can help.

--Brian
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I read it all.
 
Parents often project their fears and feelings of inadequacies onto their children. This is a natural tendency. As parents, the best thing that we can do is to be aware of this. Parents must not impose our own issues on our children (even unintentionally). This is what's meant by the sins of the parents being passed onto the children. Your child is not the one who needs help. You are. You're feeling overwhelmed and you have anxiety. Build a good support network in your life. You're going to need the help of other people. That's not a bad thing.

ETA: I mean that your child does not need emotional help to deal with his deafness. Your child has special language and educational needs. You can provide this with the support of professionals and the Deaf community.
 
Hi there...born deaf in both ears in an era before CIs. I learned to speak and lipread very well so I was mainstreamed with no support. Let me tell you, it was hell. I grew up to hating myself and dreaming of being hearing until I learned ASL at 25 years old. Since then, I got involved with the Deaf community and for the first time, I have found true happiness within myself. I am not ashamed of being deaf and happy with who I am. I use ASL 99% of the time because speaking and being in the hearing world, I felt like most people really didnt try to meet me halfway. I was the one always accomodating to meet hearing people's needs. Like DeafCaroline, I said, "f*** you to the hearing world."

My deaf brother who is 4 years younger than me never developed speech skills and went to a deaf school. He grew up without all the baggage I did and is more confident in the hearing world than I am.

Go figure, heh?

Pls keep doing ASL and also exposed him to speech therapy as well but dont make speech as the focus of his life. I grew up thinking that if I had perfect speech, people would accept me. It didnt happen. Now, I just use my speech as a tool but not as way of living.
 
DeafCaroline said:
You work?

the number one reason they gave me for not hiring me wasn't because of my speech skills but because they didn't think i would be able to keep up, hearing-wise, like phones, meetings, etc. It was my deafness that concerned them, not my speech. and by the way, my speech is very good.
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ummm... but if you have very good speech, how could you been discriminated because of your speech ?????

and to answer your question - I used to work. I also have good speech skills


Fuzzy
 
Audiofuzzy said:
ummm... but if you have very good speech, how could you been discriminated because of your speech ?????

and to answer your question - I used to work. I also have good speech skills


Fuzzy
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She said she was discriminated because she is deaf regardless of having good speech skills.
 
DeafCaroline said:
You work?

the number one reason they gave me for not hiring me wasn't because of my speech skills but because they didn't think i would be able to keep up, hearing-wise, like phones, meetings, etc. It was my deafness that concerned them, not my speech. and by the way, my speech is very good.

that's why i became my own boss. it was like "fuck you hearing world, i am going to start up my own company and pay myself."

so much more empowering than pounding the streets trying to get a job.
Click to expand...

Audiofuzzy said:
ummm... but if you have very good speech, how could you been discriminated because of your speech ?????

and to answer your question - I used to work. I also have good speech skills

Fuzzy
Click to expand...

.... Fuzzy, read.
 
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