Trust

[Oceanbreeze]

We've had various threads pop up lately touching on what amounts to respect here in AD. Those threads have been created before, and I'm sure, will be created again when something bothers someone. The problem with those threads is, it doesn't get to the heart of the problem.

The heart of the problem as I see it is basic trust. Quite frankly, I think the general trust of members here has eroded a long time ago. Its just no one has been willing to come out and say so. Well, now, some one is coming out and saying so. I AM.

We don't trust each other anymore, and why should we? We've got members copying/pasting PMs/IMs/EMs to one another, in the name of hurting someone. We've got moderators who want to sweep things under the rug, so they delete threads/lock threads, so we can't have open discussions about a problem/problem member and what to do about it. I'm going to open Pandora's Box here, and just let it all out. It's time someone does.

It's common knowledge that BuckDodgers/RavenSteve was a problem a LONG TIME ago, but he was never really dealt with. He was "permanently" banned a couple of times, but brought back to cause more mayhem. Then, the rest of us were penalized for "inciting him" when HE acted like a fool, and they KNEW he was going to. Until FINALLY, the last straw was his involvment in alleged illegal activities, which led to his supposed permanent ban. Why was he protected for so long? And, how do we know this most recent ban is indeed permanent, when the other bans were supposedly permanent a well?

I really am concerned, because people want to sweep BuckDodgers under the rug and move on. But, how CAN we move on? Many of us feel like we can't trust the people here. I am speaking of my feelings, but I am sure there are many here who have similiar feelings. There's a black cloud over AD, and we're NOT going to move on until people are willing to be open and honest about what truly went on with BuckDodgers and why he was allowed back.

I fully expect to have this thread locked/deleted. I also fully expect to take alot of angry criticism and possibly be banned. That is fine. I just hope that you all will have the guts to come out and openly question things, because trust me guys, there's a problem here. People just won't discuss it.

 

[Cheri]

First I would like to say, great venting Oceanbreeze. You have the right and power to feel how you want to feel.

With my feelings, with the situation with 'B', I knew he was an issue from the moment he started complaining about his hearing loss, situation with cops, and arguing back and forth on polities. Then he threaten a few people on this board, he got banned permanent for it, Alex believes in fair chances, and he's who he is a fair guy, so he decide to bring him back to just give him another chance to proof that 'B" might change. Now you know that people can change if they want to change, we don't know who they will be until they act on it, then the problems starting coming up with him and this 14 years old teen, it got ugly and again he was banned for the second time permanent. We would never know what will be thrown at us until the action takes place. People make mistakes, even moderators, even Alex, even us members. We learned by our mistakes and correct them the best way we know how.

I don't believe in sweep anything under the rug, but 'B' did got banned and he isn't welcome back as far as I know and I do hope it stays that way.

Remember the three strikes law which puts dangerous repeat offenders behind bars where they belong? I strongly oppose that because, it isn't fair to the society which allowing those repeat offenders out on the street and for us to wait until these offenders strike again. I strongly support first and second chance. That's the same thing what happened with 'B'.

 

[highlands]

I am tired of seeing so many 'angry' threads
I think it's better to stay away from meaningless fights.
Aren't we a family here ?

 

[moonflower]

i agree with cheri and ocean

B won't change that i have felt in my guts but i am not going to say more of that i don't need to worry about B smile i just move on

 

[Cheri]

I am tired of seeing so many 'angry' threads
I think it's better to stay away from meaningless fights.
Aren't we a family here ?

 

[Levonian]

Ice cubes a-poppin’ on da griddle…

 

[DreamDeaf]

Great venting, Oceanie and Cheribombie...

I must say this one thing, though. I am just a bit tired of all this hullaboo on AllDeaf - I know I helped it along a bit with my thread, but after some hindsight, I think it's better that we let it all die out.

Otherwise, we will keep chasing our tails in circles...and giving me a freakin headache again.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Great venting, Oceanie and Cheribombie...

I must say this one thing, though. I am just a bit tired of all this hullaboo on AllDeaf - I know I helped it along a bit with my thread, but after some hindsight, I think it's better that we let it all die out.

Otherwise, we will keep chasing our tails in circles...and giving me a freakin headache again.

That's the problem, though, DD. We can't just let this go. Too much damage has been done.

We can't open up a can of worms, discuss it at surface level, and then declare the problem solved.

The problem hasn't been solved. It's sort of like having an open wound thats infected. You can put neosporin on a wound and cover it with a bandaid, and that might make it FEEL BETTER for awhile. But, if you discover infection deep in the tissues, and that infection isn't taken care of, it's going to keep festering...

Same with this. We've swept problems under the rug by locking threads/deleting them. Declaring "time to move on.."

But, are we truly moving on or just repeating another cycle until next time?

 

[DreamDeaf]

I do know where you're coming from, Oceanie - I just can't imagine having a sore that won't heal... and yet there are sores which have scabbed over, but you keep picking at them and the scab falls off, and the sore oozes again...

Thats the feeling I get right now... and frankly, I just don't know what to do about it anymore. I was not around at that time BuckDodgers did that, and I'm very thankful I wasn't.

Maybe that's why I haven't been foaming at the mouth about it - I'm just a bystander.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't condone Buckdodger's behavior, but from what I understand, Alex, Taylor and 2hot4u did the right things - Alex banned BD permamently for good, Taylor notified the proper authorities, and 2hot4u cooperated in this.

So - I guess in my opinion and in my eyes, it's pretty much over and done with.

I hope you understand where I'm coming from, too.

 

[Maria]

That's the problem, though, DD. We can't just let this go. Too much damage has been done.

We can't open up a can of worms, discuss it at surface level, and then declare the problem solved.

The problem hasn't been solved. It's sort of like having an open wound thats infected. You can put neosporin on a wound and cover it with a bandaid, and that might make it FEEL BETTER for awhile. But, if you discover infection deep in the tissues, and that infection isn't taken care of, it's going to keep festering...

Same with this. We've swept problems under the rug by locking threads/deleting them. Declaring "time to move on.."

But, are we truly moving on or just repeating another cycle until next time?

I believe there's always problem next time. Maybe, a little different situation than it was as it was than before it was. By havin' problem sometimes help some people to grow up by changin' themselves after learnin' one or 2. How ? By bannin' or warnin'.... or we can learn from Buck that he will never come back. There's always a lesson to learn.

 

[Maria]

Oh, one more to add ( sorry ) -- Alex can prune some bad apples to keep the good apples in. That's up to him.

 

[highlands]

.

 

[Levonian]

Let's leave past in the past and step further.

Why do you keep saying that? :roll: The entire point here is that locking and/or deleting threads and making specious statements like “it’s time to move on” is just a flimsy mechanism to avoid facing responsibility for your own actions. The issue here is accountability. If I wanted to hold hands and have a meaningful healing experience I can go watch Oprah. We want to know why this entire scenario was allowed to happen in the first place.

 

[highlands]

Why do you keep saying that? :roll: The entire point here is that locking and/or deleting threads and making specious statements like “it’s time to move on” is just a flimsy mechanism to avoid facing responsibility for your own actions. The issue here is accountability. If I wanted to hold hands and have a meaningful healing experience I can go watch Oprah. We want to know why this entire scenario was allowed to happen in the first place.

You're right, buddy. Sorry !
I deleted my quote and going away.

 

[Levonian]

Good grief! I didn’t mean it that way, buddy!

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Why do you keep saying that? :roll: The entire point here is that locking and/or deleting threads and making specious statements like “it’s time to move on” is just a flimsy mechanism to avoid facing responsibility for your own actions. The issue here is accountability. If I wanted to hold hands and have a meaningful healing experience I can go watch Oprah. We want to know why this entire scenario was allowed to happen in the first place.

Right. Buck threatened members of this forum well over a year ago, and the mods knew of those threats. I also was threatened by him as well, but I didn't complain. I should have, but I didn't. The reason I didn't PM a mod or Alex with the upsetting post was simply because I didn't think anything would truly be done. That day, something was being discussed. I can't recall what, but I said something to him that upset him. He responded to me with a picture of Clint Eastwood with a gun pointing out.

Ordinarily, stuff like this would be laughed off, but coming from HIM, it made the hairs on my neck stand on end. I heard how he threatened to hurt people. I'm sure SOME of it was talk, but it couldn't ALL be talk, could it? This is my point. If you have someone saying that they cut someone's fingers off, you don't take it lightly. But, that was taken lightly. Then, you had him threatening to kill AD members. He made me feel threatened. As I said, I take responsibilty for not PMing someone with that post, but can you BLAME ME for thinking nothing would be done?

The point I'm trying to make is this.. It was KNOWN well over a YEAR AGO that Buck was potentially dangerous, and yet, he was allowed back with a promise that he would be a good boy.

You wouldn't let someone potentially dangerous anywhere near you in real life, so why wouldn't you let him have free reign on a forum such as this simply, because he's behind a computer moniter?

 

[Levonian]

Is it possible? I know it’s a one-in-million long shot, but could it be? He’s just about twacked enough…

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Is it possible? I know it’s a one-in-million long shot, but could it be? He’s just about twacked enough…

I hope not, but it's possible. He's proven he's capable of threatening to kill someone, so why not make good of his threat now and do it?

That is truly a frightening thought.

 

[Angel]

 

[MilitaryGirl83]

Lmao you are so funny!