trust issues

What I see is a MIL that wants a relationship with her daughter-in-law and son and is seeking help from the deaf community because Jeremy and B. are deaf. Instead of getting advice, though, I get judged.
 
It is nice to have good relationships with your family. I'm glad that your mother in law is able to tell you how much she cares for you. We are not able to tell Jeremy and B. how much we love them because they won't communicate with any family.
I would wonder that it could be because of us, if they kept in touch with other family members (her family, his mom) but they don't talk to anyone - other than the recent email to Jeremy's mom a couple of weeks ago.
 
This is a post from the news:
Remains found in Utah ID'd as long-missing woman

For us, never having an opportunity to talk with Jeremy, we have often wondered over the last 7 years if they were even alive. I can think of absolutely no reason to ever make a parent wonder if their child was alive or not. We are thrilled to have at least heard they are alive.
 
But this 'trust issue ' does not seem to have anything to do being deaf .
This happen in all kind of families. I have nieces that are twins and they had not talked to one another in years and one has nothing to with her mother anymore. You can try to invite your family over for dinner and see what happen . If they don't want to go there is really nothing you can do about it. You had not said anything about there being a communication problem so I am guessing no one use ASL to communicate . And just b/c some teacher said deaf person have trust issues with hearing people does not mean that is going on here. You said it been 7 years since you spoke to your family as painful as it's you may just have to move on . If you have their address you can send letters and cards and tell them how much you miss and love them , and there are ways to find out if a person is still alive on line.
 
I will do as you say, Whatdidyousay; I will mail them letters and hope they are reaching them. Maybe one day they will respond.
 
apeterson14 said:
I will do as you say, Whatdidyousay; I will mail them letters and hope they are reaching them. Maybe one day they will respond.
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You can put some photos in the letters too if you want . I know this hard but
this is not uncommon to happen with families . And we are only hearing one side of this so you'll have to understand we really can't take anyone side on this.
 
I do understand that you don't know me and you don't know their side. I appreciate your kindness and help.
 
Trust is a big thing, if you break it... it's going to be difficult to get it back. I can understand the difficulty in the family... 7 years is quite a long time. I'm not a family counselor so I can't be much of a help here but just point out about trust issues.
 
I will admit for a time, I hid from my family for years. And the reason why i state this is to hopefully help you with your situation.

Without going into details I will tell you that my life was pretty rough. With that came a bunch of trust issues... And I took it upon myself to hide everything... Including things that the average person would think didnt make much sense to hide.

The best thing you can do is let them be. From what youve stated, I can tell that they know you want to be a part of their life. For whatever reason they see you as a threat, even though you probably aren't. And it probably has little to do with you. But you will have a better chance of them coming around if you leave them alone. It may take a long time but there may come a day where they will really need you, and when they do, then you can begin the restoration process.

It took me years to sort out who in my life was an actual threat and why I needed to be left alone. And because of this I now have a great relationship with my father.

Just give them time and space. Sometimes all you can do is pray. I know its hard. But they will find you when they need you. :)
 
Thank you, o0talula0o.
It is so hard to not hear from them, but I think I will have to just keep loving them from a distance. I will send them letters and if they get them, I will just continue to tell them I love them in those letters. If they don't get the letters, then at least I feel like I am able to tell them by me writing it down.
Hopefully, they will come around. You all have helped me so much. I truly appreciate it and am very grateful for your feedback.
 
Thank you, Whatdidyousay!
I grow flowers and I cook. I dabble in cutting out and painting yard art and I like embroidering by hand.
 
apeterson14 said:
Thank you, Whatdidyousay!
I grow flowers and I cook. I dabble in cutting out and painting yard art and I like embroidering by hand.
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I would love to see some flowers right now instead of all this snow.


I use to cook a lot for my family , my dog love it when I cook pasta . He sit there and watch me the whole time whole licking his chops . :giggle:

It would be hard to do embroidering by feet .
 
I used to love embroidering but no see thread needle anymore great loss for me
 
LOL, Whatdidyousay! - yes, embroidering with your feet would be a little hard.
CAZ12 I wear glasses and have to use a magnifying glass for my cross stitch, but I don't have to use the magnifying glass for embroidery.
 
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