trust issues

She doesn't let Jeremy email his mom or text his mom without her being there with him. (I am his step mom.) She won't let Jeremy text or email us.
She keeps the kids in the apartment when they are not in school. She hasn't spoken to her family in over 12 years. She has had two children and lost a child to cancer and never did she reach out to her parents. We encouraged her to, but she did not want them to know anything about her babies.
 
apeterson14 said:
She doesn't let Jeremy email his mom or text his mom without her being there with him. (I am his step mom.) She won't let Jeremy text or email us.
She keeps the kids in the apartment when they are not in school. She hasn't spoken to her family in over 12 years. She has had two children and lost a child to cancer and never did she reach out to her parents. We encouraged her to, but she did not want them to know anything about her babies.
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It's pretty obvious that has nothing to do with being deaf, but all to do with the family dynamics.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
What makes you think she's the problem?
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Are you talking to me about the stepmother?

Because I have many relatives on my husband's side of the family, and my family, both hearing and deaf, and we all get along just fine.

See each other often, socialize, are there for good times and bad, and if the family is okay intrinsically, this is what happens.
 
You've got to know her history and preferences before helping her, doing so blindly you could be treating something that doesn't exist.

So how does she react when introduced to someone she has never met?
 
She has no relationships with anyone other than Jeremy and her two children. She doesn't allow Jeremy to have contact with any of his family.
She has no friends.
 
apeterson14 said:
She has no relationships with anyone other than Jeremy and her two children. She doesn't allow Jeremy to have contact with any of his family.
She has no friends.
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How would you know?

According to previous posts you couldn't even find them.

That doesn't seem likely that you know anything about their lives today.
 
http://www.alldeaf.com/member.php?u=23650we haven't communicated with Jeremy nor Brandi in over 7 years. When they lived with us, I would encourage her to email her parents or text them. She wanted nothing to do with it. She wouldn't let Jeremy communicate with his mom while he was here.
I spoke to Jeremy's mom two weeks ago and she said that she finally received an email from Jeremy. It was the first time she had received any communication from Jeremy in over 8 years. His mom then told me that Jeremy wasn't able to email her unless his wife was sitting with him at the computer.
 
It sound like she is very controlling and Jeremy need to speak up for himself and the kids. There is nothing you can you do about this Jeremy need to be the one to say something. If you do it that will keep Jeremy from learning how to become a man which he should been a long time ago. There is no way in hell I would let anyone tell me I can't talk to my family.
 
Thank you all for talking with me. I really thought she was unsure about trusting others because she was deaf, but after talking with you all, I think maybe something happened in her childhood that has caused her to feel as she does. Yes, you are right - Jeremy will need to stand up for himself.
 
Or she just could be a very controlling person and it's easier to control a person by cutting them off from their family and friends . You should keep in touch in with Jeremy as much as you can , invite him out to eat ,or is he allowed to go out alone ?
 
Of course, we're getting only one side of the story here.
 
Of course, Reba. We don't have their side of the story on here because they haven't communicated with us for years and they evidently aren't members of this chat group.
 
apeterson14 said:
Of course, Reba. We don't have their side of the story on here because they haven't communicated with us for years and they evidently aren't members of this chat group.
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Some people prefer to keep their family business private.

I'm not sure how you'll develop a trusting relationship with them while you make negative posts about them in public.

There are people who read these posts who don't make post themselves, so you don't really know who might be reading them.
 
These posts are not negative. I have not talked bad of her, called her names, or anything other than trying to figure out if her deafness is why she is untrusting or if there might be another reason.
I know of just a couple of people who have shut their families out of their lives and they have done so because of drugs. Jeremy and Brandi don't fit this - they don't do drugs nor do they drink. I just struggle with how you can cut everyone out of your life. I couldn't do it. I love my family and cannot imagine going a month without speaking to them, much less going years without talking to them.
 
Reba said:
Some people prefer to keep their family business private.

I'm not sure how you'll develop a trusting relationship with them while you make negative posts about them in public.

There are people who read these posts who don't make post themselves, so you don't really know who might be reading them.
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Yeah I guess apeterson14 should hope no one in her family is reading this thread .
 
apeterson14 said:
She doesn't let Jeremy email his mom or text his mom without her being there with him. (I am his step mom.) She won't let Jeremy text or email us.
She keeps the kids in the apartment when they are not in school. She hasn't spoken to her family in over 12 years. She has had two children and lost a child to cancer and never did she reach out to her parents. We encouraged her to, but she did not want them to know anything about her babies.
Click to expand...

apeterson14 said:
She has no relationships with anyone other than Jeremy and her two children. She doesn't allow Jeremy to have contact with any of his family.
She has no friends.
Click to expand...

apeterson14 said:
http://www.alldeaf.com/member.php?u=23650we haven't communicated with Jeremy nor Brandi in over 7 years. When they lived with us, I would encourage her to email her parents or text them. She wanted nothing to do with it. She wouldn't let Jeremy communicate with his mom while he was here.
I spoke to Jeremy's mom two weeks ago and she said that she finally received an email from Jeremy. It was the first time she had received any communication from Jeremy in over 8 years. His mom then told me that Jeremy wasn't able to email her unless his wife was sitting with him at the computer.
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apeterson14 said:
These posts are not negative. I have not talked bad of her, called her names, or anything other than trying to figure out if her deafness is why she is untrusting or if there might be another reason.
I know of just a couple of people who have shut their families out of their lives and they have done so because of drugs. Jeremy and Brandi don't fit this - they don't do drugs nor do they drink. I just struggle with how you can cut everyone out of your life. I couldn't do it. I love my family and cannot imagine going a month without speaking to them, much less going years without talking to them.
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If you can't see what is negative about the above posts, I really wonder .

I don't think I would care to expose my family to anyone who said those kind of things about me.

Luckily I have a mother in law who sends me greeting cards saying how much she cherishes me.
 
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