It doesn't have to be - in fact variations can easily be turned into a FUN GAME !
We use to play a signing game where you'd pick a sign (usually for an object/thing), and then think of all the variations of that sign we knew (including other sign language signs if applicable).
Children will pick up on YOUR /others frustration - so if YOU seem frustrated by regional differences in ASL then THEY will likely decide it's "OK to be frustrated about different signs" too ... on the other hand, if you decide that regional differences in ASL are similar if not identical to the regional differences that ALL languages including English, French, Spanish, etc have.
ASLers do themselves a dis-service by thinking of regional differences for signs as somehow bad, weak, or as a mark of underdevelopment, because it's simply NOT the case. Rather - it is just one example of the MANY parallels that ASL has with ALL other "LIVING Languages" , meaning languages that are continue to be used and "grow".
One thing I find interested is that even with linguistically "uniting force" of the internet which allows people form all over the world to talk to each other - using and sharing their regional differences for some words (car trunk = boot, truck = lorry, sub sandwich=hero/hoagie, TV=telly etc) there regional differences are "lost", rather they are often "adopted" by non-native users
The way this relates to ASL is that our various regional differences for some signs are now better known by many more ASLers from all over - so while a certain region may still to sign "CAKE" using "their regional sign" they are also aware of the other signs used in the ASL world that ALSO mean "CAKE".
Personally - I see gaining more regional sign knowledge as a GOOD thing - since it explains our language usage, and over time can even allow subtle differences in meaning depending on the sign chosen, or even the location that something occurs.
An personal example I have is that if I'm talking about USA friends/family and
their Christmas plans/celebrations happening IN the USA etc - I use the USA sign for CHRISTMAS, however if I'm talking about Canadian family/friends etc - I use the Canadian sign for CHRISTMAS *shrugs* its just a thing I've done since the time I moved from Canada to live in the USA for a year.
Another example is if I'm talking with a friend that I know prefers a certain sign for something where there are variations (birthday, Christmas, thanksgiving, aunt/uncle etc) then I tend to use their preference (especially if it's an ASL student or someone who's not a native/near-native signer).