To Tell or Not To Tell?

Babyblue said:
I have gotten involve with one. Told the girl that her guys is cheating.

She caught him a few days later. after the guy denied it.

But she married him anyways and he still cheats on her. SO I don't say anything. because she already knows or is in denial.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make them drink.
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Oh that really blows! What a sad way to live.
 
I have had a very good friend who got mad and refused to talk to me for a whole year after I told her that her bf was cheating. She thought I was the idiot one and refused to talk to me. She thought I did that because I didnt like him. I called him a jerk and she was offended.

She finally saw the light a year later but our friendship is damaged forever even though we were extremely close for 35 years.

So to this day, I refuse to get involved. If my friends ask me why I didnt later on, I would use my example with this friend.
 
Isn't my position say anything Needless pretty bad Drama..

Their own problem can be lead into worst nightmare. What become you did part of cheating and caused worst lead to bad karma.

*wheezing breath away* No Thanks.. You have to figure out and why explain cheated..

I've seen around w/my peoples whoever did cheated.. btw isn't my position as long someone discovered about this issue and will come worst.. hurting their heartbroken. Ain't fun through.... :/
 
its a damned if you do and damned if you don't. You just need to know before you tell if you are prepared to live with the consequences if it backfires on you? So that being said - taking your situation

Suppose...

Jack is your friend (or ex-boyfriend) and Jill isn't, but Jack is the one having an affair with another woman/man behind Jill's back. What would you do?

can you live with losing jack as your Friend if you tell Jill ? or if you confront jack and if he denies it then what ?

Jack is your friend (or ex-boyfriend) and Jill isn't, but Jill is the one having an affair with another man/woman behind Jack's back. What would you do?
in this case - do you want to keep jack as a Friend ? is he the type to forgive you if you informed him and IF he confirms your story ? then tell him ! otherwise this is a easy trap for something to go wrong

Jack and Jill are strangers (or someone you "know", but aren't friends with), and one of them is having an affair behind the other. What would you do?
do you really care if they are cheating ? is it affecting your life or work or school ? this is too dangerous time to start spreading the word as it can become a corrupted rumor and destroy things around you. If I was in your shoes - I'd stay out of it and truth always has a way of coming out on its own sooner or later and it wont hurt you

All in all, if you are right in the middle of this and there is no way to remove yourself from this situation, and if you cant handle the stress of knowing this, then i guess that informing parties involved may be the last restort but just be prepared to deal with retaliation, humility, losing Friends etc. Dont ask me how I know.:roll:
 
Wow.. That's tough situation there..

very depends on what kind of situations.

Some, I would tell. Some, I wouldn't tell. If I once tell, they just ingore my words then I won't tell them again until they finds out by themselves that's it. :dunno: It's very tough because sometime, they would ask you why didn't you tell me?! If they finds out that you know. that's very diffcult, wow.
 
VamPyroX said:
If you knew someone that was having an affair with someone else, would you tell the other person about it?

Of course. Why wouldn't I, if I knew someone that I really care ? :)

Suppose...

Jack is your friend (or ex-boyfriend) and Jill isn't, but Jack is the one having an affair with another woman/man behind Jill's back. What would you do?

It'll break my heart to see someone is havin' an affair with another woman/man behind spouse/lover's back. And, yes I would tell him/her if, one is havin' an affair. Well, that's IF he/she is my good friend....

Jack is your friend (or ex-boyfriend) and Jill isn't, but Jill is the one having an affair with another man/woman behind Jack's back. What would you do?

It applies the same as I've just mentioned above. :)

Jack and Jill are strangers (or someone you "know", but aren't friends with), and one of them is having an affair behind the other. What would you do?
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If, one is a stranger to me as not my friend, then I wouldn't tell -- because, as for one a " friend " would share somethin' with me about anythin' he/she could confide in and my feelin' for that person will develope as I would concern about. As a " stranger " ... how would I know what is happenin' to him/her ? There's no story in it for me to show my concerns for that person who is a stranger. :)

It's like if, you saw someone drowin' in the sea or water, I am sure you would rush to rescue that person in the water to save his/her life, right ? Same idea that I would to preserve that person from gettin' worse hurt or it will take a loooong time for that person to get heal from that hurt. It will never be the same ....
 
DoTellCover.jpg
 
Maria said:
If, one is a stranger to me as not my friend, then I wouldn't tell -- because, as for one a " friend " would share somethin' with me about anythin' he/she could confide in and my feelin' for that person will develope as I would concern about. As a " stranger " ... how would I know what is happenin' to him/her ? There's no story in it for me to show my concerns for that person who is a stranger. :)

It's like if, you saw someone drowin' in the sea or water, I am sure you would rush to rescue that person in the water to save his/her life, right ? Same idea that I would to preserve that person from gettin' worse hurt or it will take a loooong time for that person to get heal from that hurt. It will never be the same ....
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By telling your friend that. Could ruin the friendship you have.

Second of all you using the drowning incident, as saving someone as an example.

Not a good example because you would save anyone drowning but only tell your "confiding friend" of the cheating.
 
Babyblue said:
By telling your friend that. Could ruin the friendship you have.

That's your opinion. Some don't ruin their relationship, some do. It depends on a person's maturity/understandin' level.

Second of all you using the drowning incident, as saving someone as an example.

Not a good example because you would save anyone drowning but only tell your "confiding friend" of the cheating.
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I still stand my perspective. I am sorry, BabyBlue.
 
Babyblue said:
Hey, that is O.k. with me. :)


I just see your perspective and your example contradicting.

That is all I was saying.
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It's okay with me if, you see different than what I see. I have no problem with that. :)

There's no contradicting. Truth still stands for both of them IF, both of them are my friends. I will just explain to them BOTH why I should tell either one of them, IF either one of them should cheat on each other by havin' an affair with someone else. I choose not to be either one of them's favorite against another. I treat BOTH the same. I am no one's favorite unless if they know what my favorite food are. :lol:
 
Maria said:
If, one is a stranger to me as not my friend, then I wouldn't tell -- because, as for one a " friend " would share somethin' with me about anythin' he/she could confide in and my feelin' for that person will develope as I would concern about. As a " stranger " ... how would I know what is happenin' to him/her ? There's no story in it for me to show my concerns for that person who is a stranger. :)


This is where you say you will help a friend only, and not a stranger


It's like if, you saw someone drowin' in the sea or water, I am sure you would rush to rescue that person in the water to save his/her life, right ? Same idea that I would to preserve that person from gettin' worse hurt or it will take a loooong time for that person to get heal from that hurt. It will never be the same ....

This is where I see you will help ANYONE, not just a friend
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That is what I meant by contradicting yourself. :)

I will leave it at that.

Your will say what you have to say.

and as well as I.

 
Babyblue said:
That is what I meant by contradicting yourself. :)

I will leave it at that.

Your will say what you have to say.

and as well as I.

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I did not say " anyone " -- you are saying " ANY " one meanin' somebody that I don't know who. Which one are you referrin' to ?

Sorry if, I don't explain it very clear. Really, that " someone " in the water could be a friend that I know of.

Anyhooo.... there's no need to explain more. I know what I am seeing in this picture. As for you, you are seein' elsewhere in YOUR own picture. :)
 
You see, it is always best that no one gets involved.

There' s three sides to a story - hers, his and the truth.

So far, you know nothing and getting involved makes yourself look bad. It is always best to keep yourself to your own business is what I believe in.
 
Babyblue said:
I have gotten involve with one. Told the girl that her guys is cheating.

She caught him a few days later. after the guy denied it.

But she married him anyways and he still cheats on her. SO I don't say anything. because she already knows or is in denial.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make them drink.
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That's why The Nile is the most popular river in Egypt. ;)
 
well, I know what it like to have a cheating boyfriend and glad someone told me. It give me time to think what I should do with my relationship. Now that I walked out on him. It hurt or a while. But it be worth for me to find someone new that value me as a person and respect me not play games wth me by cheating on me. But do I blame my friend for telling me? No. I would rather know what going on and find out the truth. But that is correct that there is no win win situations. But it not easy either.
 
~*Kaelei*~ said:
I wouldn't tell as it's none of my business
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Same here. I'm not interested in making drama. besides, its not even my place to say anything about this matter as well.

So, either or both will find out about it eventually.
 
Babyblue said:
By telling your friend that. Could ruin the friendship you have.

Second of all you using the drowning incident, as saving someone as an example.

Not a good example because you would save anyone drowning but only tell your "confiding friend" of the cheating.
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Yea, a few friendships were definitely ruined when a group of us tried to tell our friend about his girlfriend cheating on him. Not worth the drama. No thanks to go thru that again.
 
VamPyroX said:
If you knew someone that was having an affair with someone else, would you tell the other person about it?

Suppose...

Jack is your friend (or ex-boyfriend) and Jill isn't, but Jack is the one having an affair with another woman/man behind Jill's back. What would you do?

Jack is your friend (or ex-boyfriend) and Jill isn't, but Jill is the one having an affair with another man/woman behind Jack's back. What would you do?

Jack and Jill are strangers (or someone you "know", but aren't friends with), and one of them is having an affair behind the other. What would you do?
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I've noticed that we have answered the above question but now I'm thinking......what if the person was you that was being cheated on? Would you want your friends to tell you????

I know I would....
 
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