Think daughter is audist...

Beach girl said:
Probably not, but we were kids, my mom was pretty busy raising four children and going to school to get her B.A. so she could teach and support us all, as my father had died. Learning to properly take care of fish was pretty low on her agenda.

Probably someone said "Get your kids a goldfish; they're easy!" and so she did, and then the poor fishies never lived very long.

We got dogs after that instead. MUCH easier. :lol:
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My son took his goldfish out for a walk when he was 3...without the bowl. Needless to say, we had a little fishy funeral shortly thereafter.:giggle:
 
:laugh2:

I don't think we ever did anything quite THAT bad, but we sure were innocents about how often to change the water and how to properly account for temperature and fluoride in water and all that stuff.
 
jillio said:
My son took his goldfish out for a walk when he was 3...without the bowl. Needless to say, we had a little fishy funeral shortly thereafter.:giggle:
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:lol: Lucky Rebecca's daughter is in college before getting a fish!
 
jillio said:
Nice way to invalidate the OP's feelings.:roll:
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If you don't understand the problem, you can't solve it. Beyond that, if you only want to give people nice answers you're not helping anyone.

The daughters refusal is unreasonable, but not getting the hearing test is unreasonable too. So, if you side with the OP the daughter is not going to learn ASL and that is not what she wants. You can't solve anyone's problem like that because it involves compromise.

The OP wants an answer to her question: What should she do that is going to solve her problem?
 
VacationGuy234 said:
If you don't understand the problem, you can't solve it. Beyond that, if you only want to give people nice answers you're not helping anyone.

The daughters refusal is unreasonable, but not getting the hearing test is unreasonable too. So, if you side with the OP the daughter is not going to learn ASL and that is not what she wants. You can't solve anyone's problem like that because it involves compromise.

The OP wants an answer to her question: What should she do that is going to solve her problem?
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I don't see not getting the hearing test as unreasonable. And I don't think telling the OP that she is being unreasonable in that is helpful in the least. If you knew anything at all about the deaf community, you would already know that the OP posted sufficient information for us to recognize a familiar situation and to support her in that.

The OP was not asking you to solve her problem for her. She is perfectly capapble of doing that for herself.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
If you don't understand the problem, you can't solve it. Beyond that, if you only want to give people nice answers you're not helping anyone.

The daughters refusal is unreasonable, but not getting the hearing test is unreasonable too. So, if you side with the OP the daughter is not going to learn ASL and that is not what she wants. You can't solve anyone's problem like that because it involves compromise.

The OP wants an answer to her question: What should she do that is going to solve her problem?
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Are you serious? She should go through an audiology screening so her daughter will continue to use ASL? She lived with her Mom for 18 years! It ain't easy to fake hearing loss. I think the daughter is going through the "my parents are an embarrassment" phase, coupled with being self centered and a bit immature.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
If you don't understand the problem, you can't solve it. Beyond that, if you only want to give people nice answers you're not helping anyone.

The daughters refusal is unreasonable, but not getting the hearing test is unreasonable too. So, if you side with the OP the daughter is not going to learn ASL and that is not what she wants. You can't solve anyone's problem like that because it involves compromise.

The OP wants an answer to her question: What should she do that is going to solve her problem?
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Being a mother is very very tough. My daughter hasnt been respectful to me lately despite a great summer with her. It is damn heartbreaking. I dont know if you have kids but never never make it seem like the mother is wrong for how she feels. NEVER!

Give suggestions but dont be critical.
 
sallylou said:
I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, showing my family my audiogram was the only way that I could make them understand that I cannot hear their voices. A picture of the hearing loss in the speech zone is clear and obvious. I think that it's ignorance on their part. They had this idea that if they just turned up the volume that I would hear them.

Don't get a new audiogram. Print out a copy of the hearing loss audiogram that shows the speech zone. Estimate your hearing loss on the graph. Show that to your family. Then, maybe they will get it. Hearing people have no idea what it's like having hearing loss. When you tell them, you might as well be speaking Greek to them. It's part of educating people. I know that there are emotional issues here. Try to put that aside and make her understand. Once she understands, her attitiude will change.
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I can remember when the telephones started having a volume control for HOH people. I told my mother if she got a phone like that for me I would put a safety bar in my bathtub for her. I kept my part of the deal and when traveled 3,000 to visit my mother I thought there would be a phone I could use at her house. My mother never got the phone! I was really hurt! My own mother did not get it how hard it for me to talk on phone. My mom had incredible good hearing . When made calls about TV shows having no CC I tell the person I am talking to they should go home one night mute their TV and turn on the CC and try watching TV for awhile!!
 
VacationGuy234 said:
There must be more to this story because it does not make sense. Your daughter knows enough to turn the light on and off because you can't hear, but she thinks you hear enough that she does not need to learn ASL?

And, you don't want to get the hearing test because you know it will be worst than before? :hmm:

I know the hearing test will be hard for you, but if you plan on using sign anyway what is the difference?

I agree with the other posters, take the test and call her bluff.

In the mean time, setup classes with your other two children for night school and go with them to the class. Don't just tell them to take classes because that is not going to work, IMO. Go to the class and do signs with them.
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get out of here.
 
jillio said:
I don't see not getting the hearing test as unreasonable. And I don't think telling the OP that she is being unreasonable in that is helpful in the least. If you knew anything at all about the deaf community, you would already know that the OP posted sufficient information for us to recognize a familiar situation and to support her in that.

The OP was not asking you to solve her problem for her. She is perfectly capapble of doing that for herself.
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Do not question my deafness, I live it!
 
rebeccalj said:
Kind of sad because daughter home from University so take her to favourite restaurant with boyfriend and son. Think we will have another talk about /voice and can they please start ASL so communication easier for me.

Daughter (18) say to me, "Mum, maybe if you give me your hearing test I will consider it." :shock:

So, email original audiologist and they email that files were sent to last city I live in. That they only keep files for 7 years. Contact second clinic and they only have note on file saying that the files were suppose to be transferred there but never arrive.

Feel no point going to have another test because know it will be worse than last one and audiologist say to me that he cannot understand how I coped so long without assistance. Uh, survival of the fittest idjit. :roll:

Anyone have advice on what can do? Feel like daughter complete audist and it hurt *SO*, so much that she say what she did the other night. Boyfriend was in shock that she could say that to me when very obvious to whole family know how voice has changed *SO* much in just 2 years and can hardly ennunciate words now. Especially if have busy 'speaking' day at office.
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I think jillio idea it the best idea !! I guess if your daugther tell you she is not feeling good you could ask to see her medical record so you see just how sick she really is! That was a very hurtful to say to you.
 
saywhatkid said:
Are you serious? She should go through an audiology screening so her daughter will continue to use ASL? She lived with her Mom for 18 years! It ain't easy to fake hearing loss. I think the daughter is going through the "my parents are an embarrassment" phase, coupled with being self centered and a bit immature.
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That may be, but is the hearing test of greater importance than a better relationship with her daughter?

Do you know of a better way?
 
VacationGuy234 said:
That may be, but is the hearing test of greater importance than a better relationship with her daughter?

Do you know of a better way?
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There are any number of better ways that would be more beneficial to her daughter and to her. Most definately allowing the daughter to dictate to the mother is not acceptable. Nor is endorsing the daughter's lack of respect by conceding.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
That may be, but is the hearing test of greater importance than a better relationship with her daughter?

Do you know of a better way?
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Yes. She needs to accept that her daughter is going through a phase. It is very difficult for her, but to have her dance to her child's demands? Where does it end? "Mom, if you buy me a Jeep Cherokee, I will take ASL in university?" :shock:
 
saywhatkid said:
Yes. She needs to accept that her daughter is going through a phase. It is very difficult for her, but to have her dance to her child's demands? Where does it end? "Mom, if you buy me a Jeep Cherokee, I will take ASL in university?" :shock:
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Exactly.
 
Yes...my daughter wont speak to me now because I wont let her stay in AZ for two extra weeks. I told her that she is coming here in Maryland on June 8th and she can hate me all she wants. I am tired of getting emotionally blackmailed by her even though it is heart-breaking.

if Rebecca gives in, it is telling her daughter that she can play these heart-breaking games.
 
shel90 said:
Yes...my daughter wont speak to me now because I wont let her stay in AZ for two extra weeks. I told her that she is coming here in Maryland on June 8th and she can hate me all she wants. I am tired of getting emotionally blackmailed by her even though it is heart-breaking.

if Rebecca gives in, it is telling her daughter that she can play these heart-breaking games.
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Exactly. Even though it might be painful, you still have to be the parent, and your relationship will be better for it down the road.:hug:
 
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