Stupid question

[Ruliya]

Compare it to say asking "what is it like to be african american" if you are white... well what is it like to be white?

You have a good point but with pills, I forget the name, it chemically altered the pigments of our skin to african america-like. I saw the documentary about it and it was fascinating how cops and public services reacted differently to that person who had experimented on himself. He evidently understood what is like to be in african american's shoes.

But argumentatively-speaking, you spot on the african american analogy nevertheless.

hell, even go to a deaf event. Chances are you will feel out of place very quickly and the chances of you keeping up with the conversations with your small understanding of sign will be near impossible. I have a number of deaf friends who occasionally will go off into a story where I will lose track of whats going on... they will later laugh and leave me sitting there staring at the wall. Similarly to this post where they commented on the fact of being left out and then getting a watered down dry explaination when asked "what was so funny?".

Oh. Seems that it's not an encouraging idea for me to blend in with those people. I'd love to interact with deaf people anyhow. I'm curious, given the fact that you're a hearing person, how do you know a lot about deaf people? I hope I didn't offend you by asking.

I second Theseus's first sentence.

 

[Ruliya]

You have a very valid point that the reverse can happen with hearing people-- put a hearing newcomer to sign language in a completely deaf atmosphere and have that newcomer try to understand what deaf people are signing, that newcomer would not understand the context even though he might understand some of the signs; and end up drifting off and staring at the wall. Such an evening would be one of immense and unnecessary boredom, feeling left out and thinking, "What's the point to this socializing? I cannot follow the conversations. I will go crazy if I don't get out of here and do something else."

:Ohno: What do you suggest for a hearing newcomer like me to learn or whatever I need before I can interact with deaf people?

Also, hearing people can learn how to sign more easily than a deaf person can learn how to speak. For example, a hearing person can see his/her own signing in a mirror, but a deaf person cannot usually hear his/her own voice. So this makes it more frustrating for deaf people trying to communicate with hearing people than the other way around, in my opinion.

Theseus and NFGTragedy, after reading your posts, I conclusively will keep that in mind to pay heed to deaf people's needs. To be specific, their stimulation of interacting in hearing environment.

 

[deafdyke]

Grayson, you don't wear hearing aids? I'm kinda confused.....I thought that your profile said that you have hearing loss?

Conductive deafness, umm as nerve damaged?

No.......nerve damage is sensoneural. I have conductive deafness.....Meaning my coachla is fine, and I don't have damage to it. What doesn't work is the ear canals, eardrums, and bones of the middle ear.

 

[NFGTragedy]

Oh. Seems that it's not an encouraging idea for me to blend in with those people. I'd love to interact with deaf people anyhow. I'm curious, given the fact that you're a hearing person, how do you know a lot about deaf people? I hope I didn't offend you by asking.

I second Theseus's first sentence.

I don't really know THAT much about deaf people. I go to Rochester Institute of Technology which houses NTID( National Technical Institute for the Deaf). I also have a deaf girlfriend and many deaf friends who I have met through school. I was just sharing my experiences and opinions. I am no "pro" of deafness.

 

[Gemtun]

I'm a hearing person and I have a stupid question I'd like to ask. The thread has presumably been done to death but I wonder what does being deaf feel like? It's incomprehensive for me to picture how it feels like. I hope I didn't offend any deaf members around here.

As I mentioned in my thread, I'm outrightly new to ASL and deaf culture.

If someone asked you what does being a white hearing European feel like? I am sure that you would not be able to answer in mere words. That information comes from experiencing it alive.

Suppose I was born hearing and lost my hearing later in my life, I may be able to answer that as I would certainly know the differences.

But I was born deaf - so when people ask me such questions, I am at loss of words because I do not know any difference. I just know what I have experienced period.

If you got an answer from someone who lost her/his hearing later in life, their answers would be A LOT different from these who were born deaf at birth. Dont forget about these who were born post lingually. Pre/Post lingually onset deafness along with late deafened issues....each issue is very very different.

Answers/experiences are very very relative. Each answer is unique. Each answer reeks of his/her very own personal experience.

 

[GraysonPeddie]

Grayson, you don't wear hearing aids? I'm kinda confused.....I thought that your profile said that you have hearing loss?

I can hear just fine, but with a bit of loss of high frequency. My low/medium frequency's fine.

 

[Theseus]

Theseus, my point with using blind as an example was really only justified on the idea that you could cover your eyes and experience what it is to be blind. You could close your eyes or block your vision with some device and learn how to cope without sight. You could also pick up walking techniques and possibly braille when adapting to your loss of vision. To the best of my knowledge though you cannot just "turn off" your ears. Surgerical destruction of your inner ear would be the only way I can see to get the deafness you wish to experience. There are also no devices on the market that can get you experiencing deafness. That is really all of what I meant by it.

We have a little misunderstanding here. I understood what you meant and was just trying to contribute...but I think the way I worded it made it sound like I wasn't agreeing with what you meant, when I understood and agreed. No hard feelings, I hope. But let's talk about ways to experience total deafness...you know something funny, there is actually one way to experience total deafness, but the circumstances won't be the same or what we expect. There are no molecules in deep space. Sound waves work via the vibrating of molecules, but radio waves are different and how astronauts communicate. So by not wearing the electromagnetic radiation communication hardware and spacewalking (outside the ship) it's possible to mimick total deafness. But then again, how many people would be willing to go out into a vacuum and experiment with total deafness this way? Any volunteers?

What do you suggest for a hearing newcomer like me to learn or whatever I need before I can interact with deaf people?

I wasn't trying to scare you. It's not normally that bad. There are hearing people at most deaf events, among them being interpreters, interpreter training students, families and friends of deaf people. If you have too much trouble following conversations and the deaf people do not help you follow conversations, just ask the hearing people there.

Asking questions here at AD is a great way to start because you are already interacting with deaf people on the Internet. Maybe you can take an ASL course if your school offers one. Many community colleges and universities offer them. These courses can often be fun and very rewarding, and a good way to gain some basic signing skills, but nothing can replace real-time interaction with real deaf people.

When you meet deaf people, show them that you are genuinely interested in them. Some hearing people go to deaf events only to work on sign language and do not try to get to know deaf people on a personal level. That's taking advantage for selfish reasons. It's not just about sign language, it's about making friends too. One hearing girl (a consultant to hearing families who have deaf children) came to a deaf event to work on her signing and asked me if I wanted to come help out at a Halloween party. For her to do that was voluntary, she didn't have to do that, but it sure felt nice to be included in her world. No one is making you do that (and you don't have to), but what I'm trying to point out is that you don't have to separate the deaf and hearing worlds.

A few deaf people may have had bad experiences with hearing people and may harbor resentments to any hearing person. But most deaf people are very friendly and open-minded. They are people first, and deaf second.

You can read this thread: Respect and Communication between hearing and Deaf. Be sure and read what signer16 says in her post. I think you're doing just fine by coming here and asking questions.

 

[Ruliya]

I don't really know THAT much about deaf people. I go to Rochester Institute of Technology which houses NTID( National Technical Institute for the Deaf). I also have a deaf girlfriend and many deaf friends who I have met through school. I was just sharing my experiences and opinions. I am no "pro" of deafness.

Speaking of that, I've heard that it's the best way, and fastest, for hearing people to learn ASL and Deaf culture by dating or going steady with deaf people. Is it true?

Some people told me that but forthrightly, I reasonably think they're just to sweet-tongue women and men to date them. Or am I looking into this a teensy bit too much? Besides that, I have heard some corny pick up, some heart-melting pick up lines from men; I believe I probably, rightly, doubt the "dating or going steady with deaf people to learn ASL or their Deaf culture" pick up line.

While on that subject, I'd think now, for me, it's not exactly a good idea to date deaf people out of the "learning ASL" or "Deaf culture" reason. I recieved a private message from a member recently and it hit me hard. I don't plan to ask that deaf man for a date but asked him for teaching me how to sign ASL and plausibly offended him. I just realized I made a grave mistake on that part. Naturally, I instinctively backed off and is terrified by the possibilities of losing Deaf people's trust than gaining theirs. Despite that incident, I'm still think that deaf man is cute.

Whereas, I think you are very lucky to have that rich opportunity, Deaf social-wise.

Gemtun and Theseus, I'll delve into your posts tomorrow. I'm pretty tired at the moment.

 

[Passivist]

Probably only acquired deaf can answer the topic question, as they were hearing first and then deaf afterwards. Those who have gone from full hearing to profound deafness are really the experts on this. You cannot really pose this question to those deaf in the cultural area, they have no dual perspective to talk about. There are some that suggest ONLY acquired deaf people can give an opinion on what deafness and its effect really is. As one writer said "What's it like to be hearing ?" there was no comparison they could offer. The whole issue is dependant on LOSS..

 

[NFGTragedy]

Speaking of that, I've heard that it's the best way, and fastest, for hearing people to learn ASL and Deaf culture by dating or going steady with deaf people. Is it true?

Some people told me that but forthrightly, I reasonably think they're just to sweet-tongue women and men to date them. Or am I looking into this a teensy bit too much? Besides that, I have heard some corny pick up, some heart-melting pick up lines from men; I believe I probably, rightly, doubt the "dating or going steady with deaf people to learn ASL or their Deaf culture" pick up line.

While on that subject, I'd think now, for me, it's not exactly a good idea to date deaf people out of the "learning ASL" or "Deaf culture" reason. I recieved a private message from a member recently and it hit me hard. I don't plan to ask that deaf man for a date but asked him for teaching me how to sign ASL and plausibly offended him. I just realized I made a grave mistake on that part. Naturally, I instinctively backed off and is terrified by the possibilities of losing Deaf people's trust than gaining theirs. Despite that incident, I'm still think that deaf man is cute.

Whereas, I think you are very lucky to have that rich opportunity, Deaf social-wise.

Gemtun and Theseus, I'll delve into your posts tomorrow. I'm pretty tired at the moment.

I don't know how to answer your first question really. I never really starting dating her because I wanted to learn sign... I date her for her, the person that she is. so? I actually knew no sign when we first met and slowly picked it up on my own self doing. Later teaching myself sign just became something I would do on the side to help make communication better between us. I will say that I learned the most off her by just watching the way she signs different things. Since she voices and I understand her voice I can follow along with what signs go with what phrases and so on. She never really sits down and tries hard to teach me new signs. She tends to correct my sign, which I have learned on my own or off watching her, every once and while when I am fishing for the right sign but thats about the extent of it. She understands me very well and I understand her very well so it all works out .

I can see how you could upset someone who had interest in you yet you made it seems as if you were only trying to learn sign off them. Please do remember that being deaf doesn't change the fact that they are people. It is a newcomer's attitude towards deaf people, which may I add is not an entirely bad thing-just part of the learning experience (I had the same outlook at one time), that sours many possible deaf/hearing relationships. I will say that growing up in a full hearing world will set you back a ways as you will continually press on common hearing world preceptions which you will later find out are horribly wrong.

Heres my experience that may created the situation you had with that deaf fellow... Many deaf individuals will grow up within a hearing environment. This is hearing environment will include hearing schoolmates, friends, other sibblings and/or family members. Now throughout their life they will continually teach family members or schoolmates, who are hearing, how to sign different things. It seems all fun and games until they continually ask them what that sign was or how do you sign this. It ends up being just you asking them how to sign different things instead of spending time on your relationship with them. It is kinda that attitude that turns alot of deaf people off from teaching newcomers how to sign. It makes people who are deaf seem like they have a never ending job to teach you how to communicate with them and will fustrate them when you fail to remember simple things. Bottom line, deaf people are PEOPLE... treat them as if you would anyone else. If some stranger asked you to teach them english for free would you do it? Chances are you wouldn't even respond to such a thing. Now if they were a good friend of yours who you spent alot of time with bonding and hanging out, and later in your relationship they asked if you could help them advance their basic language skills and guide them to speaking it better... now that seems a bit more reasonable no? Maybe since you already get along great and plan to spend time together so why not slowly push on with learning while not sacrificing your relationship.

Maybe thats just the way I have had it explained to me though.. Others may have their own opinions.

My honest opinion is... if you wanted to learn that bad, then why didn't you put any effort into it? Why not surf the web (www.aslpro.com), buy a book or take a class to learn some basic sign. As you begin to show more effort and interest, the deaf community will slowly help you along more and more. The more you put in. The more help you will recieve in return. It seems a much better environment to have a deaf person as a guide more then a teacher. It seems the deaf community is alot more willing to help shape your signs, that you already know, into comprensive statements then to start from the base and work on up. Also what is better then having the feeling that you taught yourself another language .

--Heres something you could-have/can try... Find a deaf person who you can understand by voice or some other way then by sign. Schedule to webcam / in-person meet with them and just talk. Politely ask them to sign while they do their other communication way in hopes that you can put some signs together and learn the basic structures. Do not spend your energy on learning but yet just getting to know each other. The topic that you should talk about is just what you would any person you have just met or are possibly interested in . Just by seeing the language done by a native user you will start to learn patterns and understand what signs go with what phrases or meanings. I'm not saying its the fastest way ever to learn but you will learn this way and rather effortlessly. You may also find yourself a new friend or possible partner.

 

[NFGTragedy]

We have a little misunderstanding here. I understood what you meant and was just trying to contribute...but I think the way I worded it made it sound like I wasn't agreeing with what you meant, when I understood and agreed. No hard feelings, I hope. But let's talk about ways to experience total deafness...you know something funny, there is actually one way to experience total deafness, but the circumstances won't be the same or what we expect. There are no molecules in deep space. Sound waves work via the vibrating of molecules, but radio waves are different and how astronauts communicate. So by not wearing the electromagnetic radiation communication hardware and spacewalking (outside the ship) it's possible to mimick total deafness. But then again, how many people would be willing to go out into a vacuum and experiment with total deafness this way? Any volunteers?

Oh well it did seem like you were pulling down on my statement so I felt the need to try a second time to prove my point a bit better. It seems it worked well the first time though . As for going in a vacuum... I think I'll pass. I like air in my lungs To be honest if there was a way to experience deafness I do not know if I would choose to go that route and experience it. I would rather always wonder then experience it and know what some are missing out on. It would almost make me feel bad even if I try not to... and I wouldn't want to have deaf people asking what its like to hear. I guess it would be hard to explain still but I'm sure you catch my drift. Not to mention like we both touched on earlier. You can take the sound from a hearing person and they still will never understand daily life without sound. You would have to experience a good month or so with such device that would give you "no sound" for you to even slightly understand what its like. Overall it's not really possible now so I guess we don't have to make such decisions

 

[ismi]

Just a thought: it's impossible to really simulate life with a disability. The blindness example, for instance; there's a restaurant in Paris, I believe, where the "dining experience" is done in the dark, with blind waiters. It's pitched as sort of a blindness simulation (for people willing to pay through the nose).

But rather than trying to walk through a neighborhood with lots of cars, or figure out which of their bills is a $1 and which is a $20, or color-coordinate their clothing, or worry about subtle social cues and facial expressions, from what I've read, most diners simply take advantage of the "making out in a restaurant" possibilities, and make a big mess eating. They don't really have to think about those other things, nor do they necessarily realize that there are workarounds for those challenges. And they're in an environment where everyone is blind, and most of them temporarily so, as opposed to one where they would be the only blind person. (My former roommate had some pretty neat tricks for all of those except the social cues one ... which made for some interesting situations.)

So let's say you could turn off your hearing for a day. You're still not going to experience long-term issues with communicating in mixed groups, as someone else mentioned; you're not going to figure out modes of communication other than paper and pen (most likely); you're not going to look for a job. Your average person is not going to try to use a visual signaler, or run into trouble going through a drive-through. So it's going to be a very different experience from actually being deaf.

 

[Passivist]

I don't know how to answer your first question really. I never really starting dating her because I wanted to learn sign... I date her for her, the person that she is. so? I actually knew no sign when we first met and slowly picked it up on my own self doing. Later teaching myself sign just became something I would do on the side to help make communication better between us. I will say that I learned the most off her by just watching the way she signs different things. Since she voices and I understand her voice I can follow along with what signs go with what phrases and so on. She never really sits down and tries hard to teach me new signs. She tends to correct my sign, which I have learned on my own or off watching her, every once and while when I am fishing for the right sign but thats about the extent of it. She understands me very well and I understand her very well so it all works out .

I can see how you could upset someone who had interest in you yet you made it seems as if you were only trying to learn sign off them. Please do remember that being deaf doesn't change the fact that they are people. It is a newcomer's attitude towards deaf people, which may I add is not an entirely bad thing-just part of the learning experience (I had the same outlook at one time), that sours many possible deaf/hearing relationships. I will say that growing up in a full hearing world will set you back a ways as you will continually press on common hearing world preceptions which you will later find out are horribly wrong.

Heres my experience that may created the situation you had with that deaf fellow... Many deaf individuals will grow up within a hearing environment. This is hearing environment will include hearing schoolmates, friends, other sibblings and/or family members. Now throughout their life they will continually teach family members or schoolmates, who are hearing, how to sign different things. It seems all fun and games until they continually ask them what that sign was or how do you sign this. It ends up being just you asking them how to sign different things instead of spending time on your relationship with them. It is kinda that attitude that turns alot of deaf people off from teaching newcomers how to sign. It makes people who are deaf seem like they have a never ending job to teach you how to communicate with them and will fustrate them when you fail to remember simple things. Bottom line, deaf people are PEOPLE... treat them as if you would anyone else. If some stranger asked you to teach them english for free would you do it? Chances are you wouldn't even respond to such a thing. Now if they were a good friend of yours who you spent alot of time with bonding and hanging out, and later in your relationship they asked if you could help them advance their basic language skills and guide them to speaking it better... now that seems a bit more reasonable no? Maybe since you already get along great and plan to spend time together so why not slowly push on with learning while not sacrificing your relationship.

Maybe thats just the way I have had it explained to me though.. Others may have their own opinions.

My honest opinion is... if you wanted to learn that bad, then why didn't you put any effort into it? Why not surf the web (www.aslpro.com), buy a book or take a class to learn some basic sign. As you begin to show more effort and interest, the deaf community will slowly help you along more and more. The more you put in. The more help you will recieve in return. It seems a much better environment to have a deaf person as a guide more then a teacher. It seems the deaf community is alot more willing to help shape your signs, that you already know, into comprensive statements then to start from the base and work on up. Also what is better then having the feeling that you taught yourself another language .

--Heres something you could-have/can try... Find a deaf person who you can understand by voice or some other way then by sign. Schedule to webcam / in-person meet with them and just talk. Politely ask them to sign while they do their other communication way in hopes that you can put some signs together and learn the basic structures. Do not spend your energy on learning but yet just getting to know each other. The topic that you should talk about is just what you would any person you have just met or are possibly interested in . Just by seeing the language done by a native user you will start to learn patterns and understand what signs go with what phrases or meanings. I'm not saying its the fastest way ever to learn but you will learn this way and rather effortlessly. You may also find yourself a new friend or possible partner.

Being in a hearing enironment will not really tell you how it feels to hear, no more I suppose than spending time in a deaf one will really tell you how it feels to be deaf for life. You will pick up communication tips etc, but at the end of the day you can return to the hearing life, deaf can't, and return to their deaf life. Integration, the impossible dream while each returns at sunset to their own 'world'.

 

[Theseus]

I don't know how to answer your first question really. I never really starting dating her because I wanted to learn sign... I date her for her, the person that she is. so? I actually knew no sign when we first met and slowly picked it up on my own self doing. Later teaching myself sign just became something I would do on the side to help make communication better between us. I will say that I learned the most off her by just watching the way she signs different things. Since she voices and I understand her voice I can follow along with what signs go with what phrases and so on. She never really sits down and tries hard to teach me new signs. She tends to correct my sign, which I have learned on my own or off watching her, every once and while when I am fishing for the right sign but thats about the extent of it. She understands me very well and I understand her very well so it all works out .

I can see how you could upset someone who had interest in you yet you made it seems as if you were only trying to learn sign off them. Please do remember that being deaf doesn't change the fact that they are people. It is a newcomer's attitude towards deaf people, which may I add is not an entirely bad thing-just part of the learning experience (I had the same outlook at one time), that sours many possible deaf/hearing relationships. I will say that growing up in a full hearing world will set you back a ways as you will continually press on common hearing world preceptions which you will later find out are horribly wrong.

Heres my experience that may created the situation you had with that deaf fellow... Many deaf individuals will grow up within a hearing environment. This is hearing environment will include hearing schoolmates, friends, other sibblings and/or family members. Now throughout their life they will continually teach family members or schoolmates, who are hearing, how to sign different things. It seems all fun and games until they continually ask them what that sign was or how do you sign this. It ends up being just you asking them how to sign different things instead of spending time on your relationship with them. It is kinda that attitude that turns alot of deaf people off from teaching newcomers how to sign. It makes people who are deaf seem like they have a never ending job to teach you how to communicate with them and will fustrate them when you fail to remember simple things. Bottom line, deaf people are PEOPLE... treat them as if you would anyone else. If some stranger asked you to teach them english for free would you do it? Chances are you wouldn't even respond to such a thing. Now if they were a good friend of yours who you spent alot of time with bonding and hanging out, and later in your relationship they asked if you could help them advance their basic language skills and guide them to speaking it better... now that seems a bit more reasonable no? Maybe since you already get along great and plan to spend time together so why not slowly push on with learning while not sacrificing your relationship.

Maybe thats just the way I have had it explained to me though.. Others may have their own opinions.

My honest opinion is... if you wanted to learn that bad, then why didn't you put any effort into it? Why not surf the web (www.aslpro.com), buy a book or take a class to learn some basic sign. As you begin to show more effort and interest, the deaf community will slowly help you along more and more. The more you put in. The more help you will recieve in return. It seems a much better environment to have a deaf person as a guide more then a teacher. It seems the deaf community is alot more willing to help shape your signs, that you already know, into comprensive statements then to start from the base and work on up. Also what is better then having the feeling that you taught yourself another language .

--Heres something you could-have/can try... Find a deaf person who you can understand by voice or some other way then by sign. Schedule to webcam / in-person meet with them and just talk. Politely ask them to sign while they do their other communication way in hopes that you can put some signs together and learn the basic structures. Do not spend your energy on learning but yet just getting to know each other. The topic that you should talk about is just what you would any person you have just met or are possibly interested in . Just by seeing the language done by a native user you will start to learn patterns and understand what signs go with what phrases or meanings. I'm not saying its the fastest way ever to learn but you will learn this way and rather effortlessly. You may also find yourself a new friend or possible partner.

NFGTragedy- You made a solid statement above and what I think you're saying is true especially from the deaf point of view. One time my cousin and I were playing tennis at a nearby college, and there were some hearing college students playing volleyball. One hearing guy saw me signing to my cousin and that guy came over to try and fingerspell to me, apparentally interested by signing. He asked me to teach him some signs, and he asked me to meet his friends in the college dorms. So after I dropped my cousin off, I went back and met that guy's friends. That guy kept asking me for different signs and talked a lot about himself, but did not ask me that many questions about myself. But a few days later, I invited him over to my aunt's house (I was living with my aunt's family at the time) and showed him a few things deaf people used such as TTY and relay and he thought it was really cool. Because it all was so new to him. I had a sign language book and showed him it, and he flipped through it looking at signs. Then when I introduced him to my aunt's family, what did he do? He talked to them for a long time, 20 minutes, ignoring me the entire time. He sat down and watched TV and talked to them for another 30 minutes. Without even looking at me or signing. I was bored the entire time, and decided that guy wasn't a good friend to have. He was using me to learn sign language but not respecting me as a person. It's like when a child plays with a toy out of initial curiosity, until that child gets tired and throws it away. The child in this case was him, and the toy was 'sign language'. He did not further invite me to do anything else with him, and it was up to me to contact him and set up something to do. I quickly found it to be a one-way street friendship, and that's what I experienced so many times while in high school. At the time, I was not around deaf people very much. Because of people like him, my opinion became that hearing people are not worth trying to make friends with unless they showed they were interested in me as a person first, or already involved with deaf culture in some way. Because as I quickly found, many hearing people were quite shallow. I had another hearing friend in high school on the swim team. We were good buddies and emailed each other, and he seemed like an accepting kind of person, and I'd call on the relay and invite him to do things, but he never called me once and we were friends for two years. However, he learned sign language well enough to communicate with me without fingerspelling most words. But when I'd ask him to come do things, he would often say that he was going out with his friends, who were hearing, to do something like the movies, etc. I knew his friends because they were on the swim team with me too. Why couldn't he have invited me? But many hearing people are like him, choosing to keep the hearing and deaf worlds separate. It is very hard for me because it singles me out among them all. My other friend from Brazil who was a foreign exchange student was very aware of this and he invited me to do things with people on the swim team. But that is the only time I really had any friend like that. I think that you made an excellent post and Ruliya can learn a lot out of it.

Oh well it did seem like you were pulling down on my statement so I felt the need to try a second time to prove my point a bit better. It seems it worked well the first time though . As for going in a vacuum... I think I'll pass. I like air in my lungs To be honest if there was a way to experience deafness I do not know if I would choose to go that route and experience it. I would rather always wonder then experience it and know what some are missing out on. It would almost make me feel bad even if I try not to... and I wouldn't want to have deaf people asking what its like to hear. I guess it would be hard to explain still but I'm sure you catch my drift. Not to mention like we both touched on earlier. You can take the sound from a hearing person and they still will never understand daily life without sound. You would have to experience a good month or so with such device that would give you "no sound" for you to even slightly understand what its like. Overall it's not really possible now so I guess we don't have to make such decisions

Yeah, I felt when I reread my post that I was pulling down on your statement a little. Sorry about that. I happen to have a blind e-mail pal I correspond with, and so the subject of blindness caught my eye (pun unintended). Caught your drift too in this post.

 

[Ruliya]

If someone asked you what does being a white hearing European feel like? I am sure that you would not be able to answer in mere words. That information comes from experiencing it alive.

I'd describe myself as a shaven cross-legged putty mouth, Earl Grey tea-drinker impelled incongruous debates against other wily europeans while they unceasingly bared their unbrushed dull-yellowish teeth in my face, indiscriminately, reluctantly but prompting me to kick them in nuts squarely someday. That's how I'd answer in mere words about myself.

Seriously, as I rightly inferred that my first post it was a stupid question and unquestionably, clearly, it was.

Suppose I was born hearing and lost my hearing later in my life, I may be able to answer that as I would certainly know the differences.

But I was born deaf - so when people ask me such questions, I am at loss of words because I do not know any difference. I just know what I have experienced period.

If you got an answer from someone who lost her/his hearing later in life, their answers would be A LOT different from these who were born deaf at birth. Dont forget about these who were born post lingually. Pre/Post lingually onset deafness along with late deafened issues....each issue is very very different.

Answers/experiences are very very relative. Each answer is unique. Each answer reeks of his/her very own personal experience.

That's comprehensively true. There's no way I ever would think of that if not for what you said. Thanks for laying out your thoughts on this thread.

 

[Ruliya]

I wasn't trying to scare you. It's not normally that bad. There are hearing people at most deaf events, among them being interpreters, interpreter training students, families and friends of deaf people. If you have too much trouble following conversations and the deaf people do not help you follow conversations, just ask the hearing people there.

Asking questions here at AD is a great way to start because you are already interacting with deaf people on the Internet. Maybe you can take an ASL course if your school offers one. Many community colleges and universities offer them. These courses can often be fun and very rewarding, and a good way to gain some basic signing skills, but nothing can replace real-time interaction with real deaf people.

When you meet deaf people, show them that you are genuinely interested in them. Some hearing people go to deaf events only to work on sign language and do not try to get to know deaf people on a personal level. That's taking advantage for selfish reasons. It's not just about sign language, it's about making friends too. One hearing girl (a consultant to hearing families who have deaf children) came to a deaf event to work on her signing and asked me if I wanted to come help out at a Halloween party. For her to do that was voluntary, she didn't have to do that, but it sure felt nice to be included in her world. No one is making you do that (and you don't have to), but what I'm trying to point out is that you don't have to separate the deaf and hearing worlds.

De facto, I'm gratified that you told me like it was. I needed to hear that. Regarding ASL classes, as to taking your, and others, advice, I already am working on it right after making a few calls as to find out if there are such classes at the school where I attend. Yes, there are. I dropped in this morning to sign in but discovered that it was full. I was recommended to pop in the class next week to see if the professor will grant me entrance.

Concerning the advices you chipped in, thanks, and yours were quite useful. In truth, I'm passionately interested in befriending him. Admittedly, foremost, I had an erroneously consideration of asking him to teach me how to sign or answer my questions concerning deaf culture. I was hoping to make friends with him through that but reasonably, it's a bad idea.

A few deaf people may have had bad experiences with hearing people and may harbor resentments to any hearing person. But most deaf people are very friendly and open-minded. They are people first, and deaf second.

The interpreter in my class warned me about those people. She briefly illustrated about how deaf people were oppressed by hearing people in the past, present and conceivably, future. I recieved a similar, hopefully interpreting the messages accurately, reaction from a member, given the lowermost statement that person made in a comment. Understandably given deaf peoples' history by hearing people, I soaked it up and let it go.

The link you posted is astonishingly useful. Many thanks again.

 

[Ruliya]

I don't know how to answer your first question really. I never really starting dating her because I wanted to learn sign... I date her for her, the person that she is. so? I actually knew no sign when we first met and slowly picked it up on my own self doing. Later teaching myself sign just became something I would do on the side to help make communication better between us. I will say that I learned the most off her by just watching the way she signs different things. Since she voices and I understand her voice I can follow along with what signs go with what phrases and so on. She never really sits down and tries hard to teach me new signs. She tends to correct my sign, which I have learned on my own or off watching her, every once and while when I am fishing for the right sign but thats about the extent of it. She understands me very well and I understand her very well so it all works out .

I hope you didn't think I implied that you're in a relationship with your deaf girlfriend for "ASL" or "Deaf culture" reason. It wasn't my intention at all. I just recalled what people told me and nothing more. My apology for not clarifying enough on that part.

I can see how you could upset someone who had interest in you yet you made it seems as if you were only trying to learn sign off them. Please do remember that being deaf doesn't change the fact that they are people. It is a newcomer's attitude towards deaf people, which may I add is not an entirely bad thing-just part of the learning experience (I had the same outlook at one time), that sours many possible deaf/hearing relationships. I will say that growing up in a full hearing world will set you back a ways as you will continually press on common hearing world preceptions which you will later find out are horribly wrong.

Heres my experience that may created the situation you had with that deaf fellow... Many deaf individuals will grow up within a hearing environment. This is hearing environment will include hearing schoolmates, friends, other sibblings and/or family members. Now throughout their life they will continually teach family members or schoolmates, who are hearing, how to sign different things. It seems all fun and games until they continually ask them what that sign was or how do you sign this. It ends up being just you asking them how to sign different things instead of spending time on your relationship with them. It is kinda that attitude that turns alot of deaf people off from teaching newcomers how to sign. It makes people who are deaf seem like they have a never ending job to teach you how to communicate with them and will fustrate them when you fail to remember simple things. Bottom line, deaf people are PEOPLE... treat them as if you would anyone else. If some stranger asked you to teach them english for free would you do it? Chances are you wouldn't even respond to such a thing. Now if they were a good friend of yours who you spent alot of time with bonding and hanging out, and later in your relationship they asked if you could help them advance their basic language skills and guide them to speaking it better... now that seems a bit more reasonable no? Maybe since you already get along great and plan to spend time together so why not slowly push on with learning while not sacrificing your relationship.

Maybe thats just the way I have had it explained to me though.. Others may have their own opinions.

My honest opinion is... if you wanted to learn that bad, then why didn't you put any effort into it? Why not surf the web (www.aslpro.com), buy a book or take a class to learn some basic sign. As you begin to show more effort and interest, the deaf community will slowly help you along more and more. The more you put in. The more help you will recieve in return. It seems a much better environment to have a deaf person as a guide more then a teacher. It seems the deaf community is alot more willing to help shape your signs, that you already know, into comprensive statements then to start from the base and work on up. Also what is better then having the feeling that you taught yourself another language .

--Heres something you could-have/can try... Find a deaf person who you can understand by voice or some other way then by sign. Schedule to webcam / in-person meet with them and just talk. Politely ask them to sign while they do their other communication way in hopes that you can put some signs together and learn the basic structures. Do not spend your energy on learning but yet just getting to know each other. The topic that you should talk about is just what you would any person you have just met or are possibly interested in . Just by seeing the language done by a native user you will start to learn patterns and understand what signs go with what phrases or meanings. I'm not saying its the fastest way ever to learn but you will learn this way and rather effortlessly. You may also find yourself a new friend or possible partner.

I had not thought about it until the private message I recieved from another member. I intended to rectify my mistake this morning by handing the apology note over to that deaf man. Yours and Theseus's advices are resoundingly praiseworthy and it helped me a lot. And it gave me a few things to educate myself and prepare for what may come. I amended a new way of approaching deaf people and evidently, it worked where the deaf man expressed a pleasant attitude towards me this morning. Considering my shyness, I pleaded him to not open the apology note until I left. The anticipation of what the reaction I'll get from him is very high. Ha.

On the ASL subject, as I responsed to Theseus's comment above, all what I can do is sit it out until next week to find out whether or not if the professor will give me the go-ahead or not. Oh! The funny thing is; the twisting irony I faced this morning, the same deaf man who rejected me harshly, more likely, will be assigned to me as an ASL tutor.

Thanks for sharing your experience with me!

Everyone, will photogenic memory make any difference in perceiving ASL? And thanks for being patient with me.

ismi, point taken. You just gave me something to ponder on.

 

[Ruliya]

NFGTragedy, by the way, the link you gave me led to a dead site. But thanks for the link!

 

[NFGTragedy]

NFGTragedy, by the way, the link you gave me led to a dead site. But thanks for the link!

It is not a dead site... but rather the link included the ( )'s for some reason. The real link is here --> ASLPro.com Home Sorry for the confusion.

 

[Ruliya]

Oh. Thanks again!