Stop Blaming Racism for the Failure of Black Parents

Violence isn't a black problem? Gee, and I guess the neo nazis think what they do isn't violence related. :roll:

This is pretty stupid. Violence happens to EVERYONE and EVERYWHERE.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I was abused by my dad , dad was abused by his dad etc. I was finally able to break this abusive patten with my daugther . I had to keep myself from getting angry at my child and hitting her. And I was able to do it! My daughter is now a mother and has her own child .I have stopped the cycle of abuse and now have a beautiful 4 years old granddaugter and she has a mother that love her and does not abuse her! I did not copy my dad abusive behavior! I do not buy that crap about not being able to stop the abusive
cycle!
Click to expand...

I know how difficult it is to stop that cycle. I applaud you for having the strength and the insight to put an end to the cycle when you became a parent. Kudos to you!
 
yizuman said:
Oh my sis is aware of that she is working with them to ensure they do get the skills. Plus they sit down and talk about it, a lot. Plenty of communication regarding that topic. Sis is very open to share her life's experiences and answers a lot of questions, even if they are personal or embarrassing experiences that she had growing up.

Yiz
Click to expand...

Sounds like your sister is doing her best.
 
shel90 said:
That was so true in my brother's case.
Click to expand...

And even when you think you are protecting them from negative influences, they still manage to get through. Those influences are everywhere. You would have to raise a child in a bubble to completely avoid them. The best we can do is process and talk about those experiences and those influences with our kids. Help them develop the skills they need to avoid them, and help them to develop the reasoning to think things all the way through. And even then, in cases like your brother, it is not enough.
 
yizuman said:
Oh my sis is aware of that she is working with them to ensure they do get the skills. Plus they sit down and talk about it, a lot. Plenty of communication regarding that topic. Sis is very open to share her life's experiences and answers a lot of questions, even if they are personal or embarrassing experiences that she had growing up.

Yiz
Click to expand...
Right. Just because kids go to public schools doesn't mean they learn how to resist peer pressure any better than home schooled kids do.

Of course, all children (and adults) have free will, so the ultimate responsibility to make right choices is with each one.
 
shel90 said:
I have a brother who has been in and out of jail for voilence, drugs and etc. He was raised in an upper class family in which his mom stayed home and my dad worked hard to provide all the luxuries he and my other 3 brothers got growing up. Sometimes, even too much of everything can lead children in the wrong path. My stepmom and dad were good parents but gave their boys too much, I think.
Click to expand...
How did the other boys turn out?
 
Reba said:
Right. Just because kids go to public schools doesn't mean they learn how to resist peer pressure any better than home schooled kids do.

Of course, all children (and adults) have free will, so the ultimate responsibility to make right choices is with each one.
Click to expand...

I don't see where anyone stated or implied that attending public school was directly correlated to resisting peer pressure. There are numerous factors involved.
 
jillio said:
And even when you think you are protecting them from negative influences, they still manage to get through. Those influences are everywhere. You would have to raise a child in a bubble to completely avoid them. The best we can do is process and talk about those experiences and those influences with our kids. Help them develop the skills they need to avoid them, and help them to develop the reasoning to think things all the way through. And even then, in cases like your brother, it is not enough.
Click to expand...

No, it wasnt...in this case, it was due to a mental illness. My stepmom and dad spent thousands and thousands of dollars on all kinds of therapy and intervention for him as a child. Nothing worked.
 
shel90 said:
No, it wasnt...in this case, it was due to a mental illness. My stepmom and dad spent thousands and thousands of dollars on all kinds of therapy and intervention for him as a child. Nothing worked.
Click to expand...

Yes. It sounds like they were fighting a battle against a particuar personality disorder for which the prognosis is very, very poor. Your dad and your step mom certainly aren't to be blamed for that.
 
jillio said:
Yes. It sounds like they were fighting a battle against a particuar personality disorder for which the prognosis is very, very poor. Your dad and your step mom certainly aren't to be blamed for that.
Click to expand...

Anyways, violence can be due to bad parenting, poverty, indulence, boredom, mental illness, addiction, abuse and so many more. How can the government tackle all these underlying issues to be able to reduce violence? It wont work if the govt picks one reason because there is no such thing.
 
shel90 said:
Anyways, violence can be due to bad parenting, poverty, indulence, boredom, mental illness, addiction, abuse and so many more. How can the government tackle all these underlying issues to be able to reduce violence? It wont work if the govt picks one reason because there is no such thing.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Which is why I said the conservatives quoted in the article needed to study a little sociology.
 
We can't protect our children from everything but we certainly should protect them from as much as possible. We protect their bodies from disease, malnutrition, and injury by due diligence, so why shouldn't we protect them from moral and spiritual contamination and damage?

We don't let our kids swim in a sewer, eat from a garbage can, or play on the interstate highway. That doesn't mean they will never get sick or injured but we do what is reasonable to protect them. That's the same for protecting their hearts and minds.

Even computer nerds understand the GIGO principle. :)
 
Reba said:
We can't protect our children from everything but we certainly should protect them from as much as possible. We protect their bodies from disease, malnutrition, and injury by due diligence, so why shouldn't we protect them from moral and spiritual contamination and damage?

We don't let our kids swim in a sewer, eat from a garbage can, or play on the interstate highway. That doesn't mean they will never get sick or injured but we do what is reasonable to protect them. That's the same for protecting their hearts and minds.

Even computer nerds understand the GIGO principle. :)
Click to expand...

I agree with you. However, it seems like people are looking to Obama to solve all the problems..that was what my question was based on. How can the govt step in if there are so many factors contributing to violence?
 
shel90 said:
I agree with you. However, it seems like people are looking to Obama to solve all the problems..that was what my question was based on. How can the govt step in if there are so many factors contributing to violence?
Click to expand...
Sometimes the best thing federal government can do is stay out of the way. Sometimes government causes more problems instead of solving them.

There is no President of any party that can solve America's social problems.
 
Reba said:
Sometimes the best thing federal government can do is stay out of the way. Sometimes government causes more problems instead of solving them.

There is no President of any party that can solve America's social problems.
Click to expand...

I think programs needs to be established to help families and their children instead of cutting them.
 
Reba said:
We can't protect our children from everything but we certainly should protect them from as much as possible. We protect their bodies from disease, malnutrition, and injury by due diligence, so why shouldn't we protect them from moral and spiritual contamination and damage?

We don't let our kids swim in a sewer, eat from a garbage can, or play on the interstate highway. That doesn't mean they will never get sick or injured but we do what is reasonable to protect them. That's the same for protecting their hearts and minds.

Even computer nerds understand the GIGO principle. :)
Click to expand...

GIGO - Garbage In, Garbage Out. Haven't heard that in a long time.

I have heard of a kid from good family that went bad. Why just one kid went bad while his siblings were still good? It is not because of bad parenting, so there must be something else going on with this kid. So why the blame on the poor parenting? It would be nice if there are programs that can help people out of their poverty, etc.
 
Reba said:
We can't protect our children from everything but we certainly should protect them from as much as possible. We protect their bodies from disease, malnutrition, and injury by due diligence, so why shouldn't we protect them from moral and spiritual contamination and damage?

We don't let our kids swim in a sewer, eat from a garbage can, or play on the interstate highway. That doesn't mean they will never get sick or injured but we do what is reasonable to protect them. That's the same for protecting their hearts and minds.

Even computer nerds understand the GIGO principle. :)
Click to expand...

I'm confused. Exactly how does the first paragraph relate to the phenomenon of violence and race?
 
Buffalo said:
GIGO - Garbage In, Garbage Out. Haven't heard that in a long time.

I have heard of a kid from good family that went bad. Why just one kid went bad while his siblings were still good? It is not because of bad parenting, so there must be something else going on with this kid. So why the blame on the poor parenting? It would be nice if there are programs that can help people out of their poverty, etc.
Click to expand...

Exactly. This is a multi-faceted problem. There is no single answer. To blame violence on poor parenting as the sole contibutor is way over simplifing the issue. It would be nice if it was as simple as one cause, one solution. But it isn't.

One must keep in mind, as well, that society is responsible, in large part, for determining parenting. A parent who is forced to work 2 jobs as a direct result of opportunity and pay disparities just to put food on the table does not have the time or the energy to devote to parenting as does the stay at home mom with the big suburban house and no financial concerns. Maslow's Heirarchy.

The best way to explain violence is to take a good look at Conflict Theory, and then apply it to the situation.
 
Back
Top