Speech: A blessing or a curse?

jillio said:
It is generally accepted that non-verbal communication in the form of manual language pre-dates all forms of spoken language.
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Also that when using spoken language, 90% of the communication happens nonverbally.

"I'm very happy for you."

The words alone don't tell you anything about what the person is really thinking or feeling. Only nonverbal cues can convey that information.
 
BecLak said:
Hohtopics, I would like to respond with an 'apology accepted' but from what I see you are not really 'taking back' what you wrote, you are just replying to some heat you are receiving. You are entitled to your opinion and values and I am entitled to mine. :cool2: Frankly, I don't think we will ever see 'eye to eye' so let's leave it at that. In all fairness, however, thank you for your well wishes.
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Aplogizing for getting heat, but not for the errors in perception?:lol: That is the old, "Sorry I got caught" principle!
 
Mountain Man said:
Also that when using spoken language, 90% of the communication happens nonverbally.

"I'm very happy for you."

The words alone don't tell you anything about what the person is really thinking or feeling. Only nonverbal cues can convey that information.
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Total agreement.
 
Umm..when I started learning ASL and watching skilled and Deaf signers.. I felt intimidated by the eloquent gestures. My ability seemed shameful. I was able to communicate to an extent via ASL just didn't feel competent. I felt overwhelmed and frightened.. Because utilizing voice wasn't an option..I decided to free sign. Maybe i would of done what at the time was more comfortable for me and encouraged oral communication, maybe not..I just communicate the best I can..I don't know if it will help
but if your family knows all they need to do is their best to be supportive it may help alleviate any fears..if any..
 
applepie said:
Umm..when I started learning ASL and watching skilled and Deaf signers.. I felt intimidated by the eloquent gestures. My ability seemed shameful. I was able to communicate to an extent via ASL just didn't feel competent. I felt overwhelmed and frightened.. Because utilizing voice wasn't an option..I decided to free sign. Maybe i would of done what at the time was more comfortable for me and encouraged oral communication, maybe not..I just communicate the best I can..I don't know if it will help
but if your family knows all they need to do is their best to be supportive it may help alleviate any fears..if any..
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:ty: applepie.
 
jillio said:
Aplogizing for getting heat, but not for the errors in perception?:lol: That is the old, "Sorry I got caught" principle!
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Got to rub it in? Same ol, same ol' "Everything is 100% hearing / non-Deaf's fault?" right Jillio?

Listen if you have some concerns about the Deaf culture cause of some of the developments going on out there and that you're just trying to help your son. Just say so. That's understanding.

No need for you to continue to operate on a "everything is 100% hearing / non-Deaf fault" or "drag down every little thing you think is associated with the non-Deaf".

Now that the cat is out of the bag, the reason why some of you had a beef with that comment. Was cause it's one thing for one to determine that the Deaf way is the way to go cause of some actual experiences with the Deaf. But it's another to determine that's the case without any actual experiences with them and it was cause of a forum. That even though there were some truth to it, but cause it was not what some of you wanted to hear, the comments were perceived in a negative light.

I actually thought I was being a good sport to apologize. But of course since I'm "non-Deaf", you felt a need to try to drag it down more.
 
Frisky Feline said:
:shock: what is going on? why all of sudden NOW?
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I thought it just tipped him over the edge. He changed his name after it was picked on.

He tried to make an apology and got a non acceptance.

Then was picked on some more.

He's deaf too. I would have snapped long before now.
 
Bottesini said:
I thought it just tipped him over the edge. He changed his name after it was picked on.

He tried to make an apology and got a non acceptance.

Then was picked on some more.

He's deaf too. I would have snapped long before now.
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I thought it is already accepted his apology?
 
KarissaMann05 said:
I thought it is already accepted his apology?
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In what I thought was a very mean insincere way. Which says does not accept apology, only well wishes.
Originally Posted by BecLak
Hohtopics, I would like to respond with an 'apology accepted' but from what I see you are not really 'taking back' what you wrote, you are just replying to some heat you are receiving. You are entitled to your opinion and values and I am entitled to mine. Frankly, I don't think we will ever see 'eye to eye' so let's leave it at that. In all fairness, however, thank you for your well wishes.
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Me too. I don't mind to accept someone's apology. I understand her disappointment with his posts.

Hmm...
 
Using speech

shel90 said:
By being able to speak, it gives hearing people the false impression that I could hear as well as I could speak which leads to misunderstandings and frustrations. As a result, I get blamed for it which made me feel terrible about myself.

Now, I dont allow it and as a result, I get labeled as someone being "stubborn" and unwilling to change.

Whatever to you, hearing people. I no longer care what they think anymore. It is not worth it.

I will use my speech skills but not at the expense of my happiness.
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WOW Shel you rocked the topic, I feel the exact same way...I was even accused of "faking" being deaf..laughing, can you imagine? the sad part is it was by a deaf person..yeah. I also got the "my way or no way label" and I do not care anymore. I was doing well with my signing before the brain injury..and now, as hard as I try "darn brain" I can not retain my signing even
tho I was instructed while I was in rehab. So...to those ppl and "friends" of mine who do not have the patience to allow me to lip read which I do realy well now, I think..laughing..I don't think I will ever really stop speaking. If I learned to sign perfectly I would still speak softly while signing...Oh now that will realy make them nuts..laughing..to bad...You are a lioness...and I like it..
" Take me as I am, I will always try me best"..Midnight..♥♥♥
 
Hohtopics said:
Got to rub it in? Same ol, same ol' "Everything is 100% hearing / non-Deaf's fault?" right Jillio?

Listen if you have some concerns about the Deaf culture cause of some of the developments going on out there and that you're just trying to help your son. Just say so. That's understanding.

No need for you to continue to operate on a "everything is 100% hearing / non-Deaf fault" or "drag down every little thing you think is associated with the non-Deaf".

Now that the cat is out of the bag, the reason why some of you had a beef with that comment. Was cause it's one thing for one to determine that the Deaf way is the way to go cause of some actual experiences with the Deaf. But it's another to determine that's the case without any actual experiences with them and it was cause of a forum. That even though there were some truth to it, but cause it was not what some of you wanted to hear, the comments were perceived in a negative light.

I actually thought I was being a good sport to apologize. But of course since I'm "non-Deaf", you felt a need to try to drag it down more.
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My, my! What kind of a bug is that you've got up your azz? LOL.
 
..Free sign is when you stop concentrating on being skilled and just communicate your best. It may end up being S.E.E ..my understanding is learning ASL requires immersion..I had no prior knowledge of the skill level involved going from producing signs to actually engaging in ASL..to stay relaxed with friends/associates I just go with what I know and the rest becomes second nature..otherwise I will critique myself right out of communicating..
 
.. I take that back free sign is more like signing the best you can at your level and the rest but comparing it to S.E.E not accurate..
 
This is a little bit off topic, but I can't help thinking of a dinner out my husband, daughter and I were having a year, maybe more, ago. I had her processors turned off, but still on her head -- we do that sometimes -- and so we were having a silent dinner, signing rather than speaking, which is kind of a nice thing to be able to do in a loud, chaotic restaurant, and a way to establish a little private bubble of family conversation, too.

My daughter was pointing to something across the table she wanted, I was signing "what" to get her to specify which item, and a woman walking slowly by leaned in and commanded my daughter firmly to "use your voice, young lady." Apparently she was appalled at the pointing and not satisfied with our parental guidance on the matter. My husband looked up and laughed, saying matter of factly "she's signing better than I can" and the woman simply turned away and moved on, trailing irritation. I remember feel offended at the time and wishing I had the right angry words to set her straight, but pretty quickly realized that this woman simply had no idea, there was no way she could have, was probably in some kind of auto-mom mode in terms of correcting children, and a word of two of explanation would probably have turned things around pretty quickly.

I guess my point is that yes, people will probably assume you can hear if you speak, just as they would if you didn't say a word, but doesn't it just take a quick correction or explanation to set them straight about it? Or if you aren't going to correct them or chase them down, does it really matter what they think?

PS Shel, my daughter's orphanage report mentioned that she was stubborn and sometimes didn't listen to her caretakers. The didn't realize she was deaf. I've often shaken my head at that assessment. But you know what I've come to realize? They were actually right. :laugh2: She is a bit stubborn and terribly bossy, too, but they missed that along with the deafness.
 
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