So I wish I could actually hear... but only for a minute

ash345

ash345

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I have no problem going deaf, I am actually very happy with it normally... but today, for the few minute conversation I had with my mom over VRS... I wish I could hear.

My grandfather lives in Ohio, and is in the hospital, dying. Today was the one time I wish I could actually hear something... actually understand what is being said... and hear by grandfathers words to me, some of the last he will ever say. My mom called me over VRS and told me that my grandfather is dying, they don't expect him to last the night. He has parkinsons, and cancer. I told my papa that I loved him, and he tried to respond, or so my mom says. She then said that he wanted to hear my voice one last time... that made me break down crying. I hate using my voice, but to tell my papa that I love him, that I will miss him and that I'm thinking of him, how could I refuse a dying mans wish? so I called my mom, telling her that I wouldn't be able to understand any of what she was saying but to put papa on the phone, then when I hung up I would call her back on vrs because it is much easier for me. I told him I loved him, that I missed him and that I was thinking of him. How I wish I could be there with him, holding his hand, giving him kisses. I broke down crying again... and my mom told me that he was crying too... he could barely speak she said. I don't have many of these moments, when I wish I could hear, but I wish I could hear my grandfathers last words to me... or at least see them. He was one of the only people when I was growing up that didn't tell me I was wrong because I am deaf, he told me to be a strong woman, and that I was made this way for a reason, that we just didn't know what the reason was yet. There is no internet connection in the hospital he is in, so i can't even skype with him, so i can see him again, see him light up when he sees me. I appreciate the terp, I could see she was tearing up too, but its not the same... seeing her sign that he loves me too... and seeing it on his lips... seeing it in his eyes... I wish for just one minute that I had "normal" hearing... so that I could burn his words into my brain... then I could go back to being me... and be fine with it...

i'm honestly not sure why I typed this... maybe because I needed to get it off my chest... to know that I am not alone... that other people have felt like this too...
 
thanks! I am so thankful for this place.
 
You made me tear up. What a moving story. I know this isn't much consolation but I'm glad you two had a chance to say your final words to each other, however you could. He must have loved you very very much.
 
Sorry to hear about this. It's so sad. Tears were welling up in my eyes after reading this. Praying that you'll find the strength to endure this. Don't know what else to say really... :cry:
 
DeafCaroline said:
You made me tear up. What a moving story. I know this isn't much consolation but I'm glad you two had a chance to say your final words to each other, however you could. He must have loved you very very much.
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He was my rock... and he is dying... 1400 miles away from me... and I can't do anything to stop it, to help him, to see him... I am glad we were too... thank you guys for being here... thank you.
 
That is a beautiful description of your last moments with your grandfather. To know that HE knows that you are thinking of him, that is truly priceless.

My condolences to you as you go through the next steps in this process.
 
:hug: You are in my thoughts it is never easy losing someone. I can relate to wanting to hear or speak to someone before they pass.
 
I am so sorry this is the news you have to share but do agree that sharing can really help.

I don't know how to quote from a thread in a different section but am copying and pasting something I posted earlier this afternoon. I am thinking it might help if you have access to at least one cell phone that is a smartphone. It won't get you to hear but he can hear you and you will know what is said from their end of the line.

Quote:
Originally Posted by saywhat? View Post
Echoing hohtopics question, do any of you know of a technology that can be used in a conference meeting that will translate the spoken word from around the room into text on a computer/laptop?

Also, I'm looking for some type of computer or iphone program that will translate speech into text during phone calls, but will still let me speak orally directly into the phone. In order to work, the translation would have to be real time, like closed captionning on t.v., so I could respond without odd delays and silences.

Thanks!
This is what I am using with a cell phone. I am in a Verizion 3G area and thus can't use voice & data at the same time. But what I have just done is get a Droid 2 smartphone and use the browser in that with Hamilton Web CapTel instead of a computer browser. The number for my old dumbphone cell phone is put in as my number and then, of course, the number of the person I am calling is entered in another box. My old phone rings, I answer that, they call who I want, then the captions of what the person I called show up on the Droid. I talk into the dumbphone directly to who ever I have called. Hope this makes sense — feel free to ask questions if it does not. Friends that I have used it with do report some lag. We have come to me saying something right when I first see a pause in the ringing to make sure I don't get hung up on. Not perfect but we have found it useable.

To maybe make this a bit clearer both my old phone that I used to use with a Krown PocketComm TTY connected and the Droid 2 are active with different phone numbers.

Depending on who your cell service provider is you may be able to use one of their apps and just one phone. For more information look at their web site at Hamilton CapTel: Mobile CapTel and then click on their different sections depending on what individual equipment you have. And, no I have no connection to them except getting back to cell phone use via their service.

What I am using can also be used (and was intended for) with a computer and any type phone such as wired landline or wireless landline. See Hamilton CapTel: Web CapTel
 
Beach girl said:
That is a beautiful description of your last moments with your grandfather. To know that HE knows that you are thinking of him, that is truly priceless.

My condolences to you as you go through the next steps in this process.
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Yes it is a very beautiful and moving description of her last moments with her grandfather. I had a hard time reading as my eyes where tearing up too!
I am sorry for the lost of your beloved grandfather, it sound like he was a very special person. My condolences to you and your family. :hug:
 
thanks jane, I actually have a captioned phone, as well as hamilton captel. VRS is just easier for me... it takes alot of work using my voice, and trying to remember how to say words and so forth.
 
ash345 said:
thanks jane, I actually have a captioned phone, as well as hamilton captel. VRS is just easier for me... it takes alot of work using my voice, and trying to remember how to say words and so forth.
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I didn't know what you had access to besides the VRS and was just trying to help some with a way for him to hear you and you to know what they were saying even if it wasn't by hearing.

As time goes on I think you will think more of the pleasant memories the two of you built together rather than your loss. I am older and know that I reached a point about the older relatives of mine where I can have things happen that make me think of it being something they would enjoy without it being painful.
 
ash345 said:
I have no problem going deaf, I am actually very happy with it normally... but today, for the few minute conversation I had with my mom over VRS... I wish I could hear.

My grandfather lives in Ohio, and is in the hospital, dying. Today was the one time I wish I could actually hear something... actually understand what is being said... and hear by grandfathers words to me, some of the last he will ever say. My mom called me over VRS and told me that my grandfather is dying, they don't expect him to last the night. He has parkinsons, and cancer. I told my papa that I loved him, and he tried to respond, or so my mom says. She then said that he wanted to hear my voice one last time... that made me break down crying. I hate using my voice, but to tell my papa that I love him, that I will miss him and that I'm thinking of him, how could I refuse a dying mans wish? so I called my mom, telling her that I wouldn't be able to understand any of what she was saying but to put papa on the phone, then when I hung up I would call her back on vrs because it is much easier for me. I told him I loved him, that I missed him and that I was thinking of him. How I wish I could be there with him, holding his hand, giving him kisses. I broke down crying again... and my mom told me that he was crying too... he could barely speak she said. I don't have many of these moments, when I wish I could hear, but I wish I could hear my grandfathers last words to me... or at least see them. He was one of the only people when I was growing up that didn't tell me I was wrong because I am deaf, he told me to be a strong woman, and that I was made this way for a reason, that we just didn't know what the reason was yet. There is no internet connection in the hospital he is in, so i can't even skype with him, so i can see him again, see him light up when he sees me. I appreciate the terp, I could see she was tearing up too, but its not the same... seeing her sign that he loves me too... and seeing it on his lips... seeing it in his eyes... I wish for just one minute that I had "normal" hearing... so that I could burn his words into my brain... then I could go back to being me... and be fine with it...

i'm honestly not sure why I typed this... maybe because I needed to get it off my chest... to know that I am not alone... that other people have felt like this too...
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yes I have with my mom. She passed away few months ago and last few months of her life was hardest thing for me than any of my siblings. I felt alike they were lucky to get to be closer with her at the hour of her dying and be able to communicate with her while I got stuck and wanted to run far away from this because she can not see me or too ill to sign to me. I am so sorry you have to go thru this. I wish no one has to go thru this. Hugs to you.
 
There are no words that really can comfort...but I'll try anyway. I'm sorry that you are going through this pain.
 
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