So I wish I could actually hear... but only for a minute

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. :hug:
 
Darlin, you are a very strong woman. I understand u wanting to hear his last word to always be able to pull that memory out, but instead tryn remember all the ways that the 2 of you were closer than anyone else with. the body language, that certian look that said more than words ever could. The connection that hearing people wish they could sense or read. When u look back in your files, u will realize there are so many memories that words would have never replaced. I am very sorry,, I know this is very hard, but like he said,, "u r strong, u r this way for a reason. " He wouldnt want u to feel any less. xoxo
 
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I'm sorry. You said all that your loved one needed to hear. Know that he is at peace. Your part is to grieve this now. I wish you peace at the end of that journey. It's always such a difficult path. Hugs to you, if that's ok.
 
ash345 said:
I have no problem going deaf, I am actually very happy with it normally... but today, for the few minute conversation I had with my mom over VRS... I wish I could hear.

My grandfather lives in Ohio, and is in the hospital, dying. Today was the one time I wish I could actually hear something... actually understand what is being said... and hear by grandfathers words to me, some of the last he will ever say. My mom called me over VRS and told me that my grandfather is dying, they don't expect him to last the night. He has parkinsons, and cancer. I told my papa that I loved him, and he tried to respond, or so my mom says. She then said that he wanted to hear my voice one last time... that made me break down crying. I hate using my voice, but to tell my papa that I love him, that I will miss him and that I'm thinking of him, how could I refuse a dying mans wish? so I called my mom, telling her that I wouldn't be able to understand any of what she was saying but to put papa on the phone, then when I hung up I would call her back on vrs because it is much easier for me. I told him I loved him, that I missed him and that I was thinking of him. How I wish I could be there with him, holding his hand, giving him kisses. I broke down crying again... and my mom told me that he was crying too... he could barely speak she said. I don't have many of these moments, when I wish I could hear, but I wish I could hear my grandfathers last words to me... or at least see them. He was one of the only people when I was growing up that didn't tell me I was wrong because I am deaf, he told me to be a strong woman, and that I was made this way for a reason, that we just didn't know what the reason was yet. There is no internet connection in the hospital he is in, so i can't even skype with him, so i can see him again, see him light up when he sees me. I appreciate the terp, I could see she was tearing up too, but its not the same... seeing her sign that he loves me too... and seeing it on his lips... seeing it in his eyes... I wish for just one minute that I had "normal" hearing... so that I could burn his words into my brain... then I could go back to being me... and be fine with it...

i'm honestly not sure why I typed this... maybe because I needed to get it off my chest... to know that I am not alone... that other people have felt like this too...
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Yes you are so right that other felt this way. My mom died in 2008 and when she was dying I called her and a nurse answered her phone and said my mom did not want to talk. My mom dies 2 days later! And when I did see her at the nursing home I was not able to hear as her voice was so weak, I could hear her best on my clarity phone and wearing my HA. I wish I was able to tell my mom one time that I loved her but she was too weak to talk. I been thinking about what you wrote and thought there should some way to share this with other people as what you wrote is so moving and touching. It is from your heart , and I am glad you shared this with us. My thoughts are with you.
 
Thank you guys so much... so far he is still hanging on, I am amazed. Hospis is not sure when he will actually pass on... he changes drastically day to day... my mom says some times he is lucid... other times he can't even track people with his eyes. He has blood in his urine, and his kidneys are failing. I am so thankful for everyone here, you guys are keeping me strong. I am so thankful for all of the hugs, and for knowing that I am not alone in this, knowing that others have been through similar situations. Thank you all so much, I just wish I could have real hugs from the people who I am counting as my friends.

:ty: so much!
 
My papa died this morning at 2:20. He went peacefully and without having any pain. my mom thinks services will be Friday, which unfortuantley I won't be able to attend due to money constraints... Papa, you will be missed, you are still loved, and you are and always have been my rock. I love you. I will always love you. Rest in Peace, and sleep well.
 
ash345 said:
My papa died this morning at 2:20. He went peacefully and without having any pain. my mom thinks services will be Friday, which unfortuantley I won't be able to attend due to money constraints... Papa, you will be missed, you are still loved, and you are and always have been my rock. I love you. I will always love you. Rest in Peace, and sleep well.
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My sympathies to you and your family. I'm glad he died peacefully and painlessly. :hug:
 
ash345 said:
My papa died this morning at 2:20. He went peacefully and without having any pain. my mom thinks services will be Friday, which unfortuantley I won't be able to attend due to money constraints... Papa, you will be missed, you are still loved, and you are and always have been my rock. I love you. I will always love you. Rest in Peace, and sleep well.
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Deepest sympathies!!
 
Sorry for your loss. I hope that your memories comfort you.
 
thank you guys, the thing that is making me feel better is that he is no longer in pain... with parkinsons, and 2 forms of cancer... he was in alot of pain...
 
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