Scared of communicating with hearing people

Could I get fired for not wearing the ci at work?


I'm concerned that the loud sound exposures could be hazardous- if wearing the CI. That's the entire point of wearing earplugs. Its also difficult to wear the ci ontop of the earplugs and safety goggles for 14 hours.

Help? Before I get fired? :cool2:
 
The only way you can get over it is to do it.

I live a bit of a secluded life because I don't like having to ask people to repeat themselves. The only people who have been rude to me about it are actually the ones I'm closest to. My exhusband was bad. I've found that on the whole, strangers are usually more than happy to make the effort to communicate. My hesitance comes from my own fear of inconveniencing people honestly.

You'll get your bad apples who will be mean, but you have to exist in a hearing world and we all have to learn to communicate. As much as Deaf people have their own culture and are a very well established group... unfortunately it's a hearing persons world. It's annoying but true.
 
Cyborg said:
Could I get fired for not wearing the ci at work?


I'm concerned that the loud sound exposures could be hazardous- if wearing the CI. That's the entire point of wearing earplugs. Its also difficult to wear the ci ontop of the earplugs and safety goggles for 14 hours.

Help? Before I get fired? :cool2:
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This should be in a different thread, but:

Your CI will only put out the maximum power that it is programmed for. Some really loud sounds will put pressure on your inner ear parts and you will feel slight pain. It should not affect how much you hear, since the CI is bypassing the inner ear parts and transmitting inside your cochlea. Instead of taking the CI's off, you should be able to wear ear protection headphones, but they might not fit comfortably due to the antenna placement.

As for being fired for not wearing CI's....depends on your job requirements, etc. Can you do your job as a deaf person? If yes, then they have no basis. Then again, being a employee myself, we have to draw the line between invoking the 'deaf card' and pissing the employer off.
 
Thanks eirlys, I think I agree I have to gather courage to gradually come to the terms that I do not have an ideal world. I think we have almost similar experiences. I do not like to ask for repetition as well, mainly because I have had my share of bad apple already.

Thank you everyone.
 
I am hearing and learning asl for 5 years now. have interpreted for dear friends at the Kingdom Hall and am now part of a sign language group (voice off). If it helps horizon22 hearing are afraid to communicate with deaf and hoh too. we are all afraid... helps me that I have good friends that are patient with me and no judgement .... hope that helps :)
 
Horizon22, If you want to be in the hearing group to be able to understand what everyone is saying, then you need to get sign language interpreters to help you understand what the discussion is about. Otherwise if you want to talk to one or two people to communicate for conversation, then it is always good to write down on notepad (paper and pen) to communicate with hearing people. Lipreading is not accurate and can get lost on what the person is trying to say to you. We had struggled with lipreading skills and it was no win-win. Sign language is the most reliable way for us to understand Deaf people and sign language interpreters better than in the hearing world. Sign Language is ROCK. :rockon:
 
Honestly, this is just a part of life. We will all have our struggles but we still end up finding a way to get through it. Whether its getting a pen and a pencil out, reading lips, or using sign language or relying on your hearing devices to be able to communicate we still make it through. I had a tough time communicating with hearing people before. All deafies here and there had a time where they had a hard time communicating with the hearing. Some hearing people were nice enough to repeat them again, there will be some hearing people that will say "nevermind" or "forget it." but you learn to shrug it off of your shoulders and move on. But at least we are learning how to find ways to communicate with them. Like getting out your cellphone and typing in what you want to say or have the other person type in what they're trying to say. This is just a big world that we're living in. But i look at it like this, Sometimes I think when hearing people sees us signing, they're scared of coming up to us and talk to us because they don't want to embarrass themselves. It probably has happened to them before. And I know a few too. I brought a few of my deaf friends to my band competition one time and they wanted to try and communicate with them in sign. They were nervous at first but they managed to get a word or two in!

This is nothing to be afraid of. this is just a part of life. Like i said, you'll find ways to be able to talk to hearing people. Just look in the mirror and say i can do this, I'm not afraid.
 
it go both ways from someone like myself who was hearing but not now i found most hearing people really want to communicate that why so many learn bsl asl....i went into spiral of black depression when went deaf more or less overnight went to a rehab to help but was afraid to talk to deaf people cos didn't want to look stupid,but you dont,just plow on through
 
Well - in my local Deaf club, they have a small picture posted that basically states, "So what if you're afraid to speak to a hearing person, most hearing people are afraid to speak to a deaf person".
 
Berry said:
Interestingly accurate idiom for a non-native American.
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All the Indians I know have spoken English since early childhood, and some from birth (at home). Idioms are part of typical vernacular for most of my Indian friends.

OP,

I often think, "Is the effort and repeaty-ness for both me and the group worth my joining the conversation right now?" I hate to be a bother when all they are talking about is some movie that I'm not interested in, anyway. That being said, it is important to connect with people, so sometimes it's worth it to take a breath, and just dive on in.

Things that help me:
1. I try to make a joke about being deaf person the first time I need to ask what something was or for them to look at me. They can already tell because of my bright blue hearing aids, but it seems to make them more comfortable and gives me more leeway in the "huh" department.
Note: You may need to make ha-ha-I'm-deaf comments every now and again if you are late-deafened. I'm post-lingual (scarlet fever ages 3 and 5), so others tend to forget that they need to speak slowly and clearly mid-conversation.
2. I always try to stand/sit in a place where I can see the most mouths if in a larger group.
3. I try to stick to one-on-one or two-on-one interactions. Any more, and I'm just completely lost.
4. If I am in a larger group, I try to identify the ones (1-3) who talk the most, and only focus on them, ignoring those who have less control and input re: the conversation. This may sound mean, like I don't care what relatively shy people have to say or something, but this is conversational survival.
5. A bright smile is better than "uh-huh" in response to something you don't understand, because "uh-huh" can get you into something you don't want to be. If it is unimportant, a bright smile is usually accepted as a response, and if it is important, people usually realize that you didn't understand and try again.
6. If you have enough info (context, lip movement, sound, etc) to figure out what was just said, but need a minute or two to run possibilities through your mind, it is useful to ask a question that's answer you already know, but that will take a while for the other person to explain. This way you don't need to be listening, and can focus on figuring out what you just missed.

Hmm... This is the first time I've ever tried to sit down and think through some of my methods... I usually just do them. I figure if you just practice as much as you can, you'll naturally develop methods, yourself.

Good luck!
 
Pythias said:
All the Indians I know have spoken English since early childhood, and some from birth (at home). Idioms are part of typical vernacular for most of my Indian friends.

OP,

I often think, "Is the effort and repeaty-ness for both me and the group worth my joining the conversation right now?" I hate to be a bother when all they are talking about is some movie that I'm not interested in, anyway. That being said, it is important to connect with people, so sometimes it's worth it to take a breath, and just dive on in.

Things that help me:
1. I try to make a joke about being deaf person the first time I need to ask what something was or for them to look at me. They can already tell because of my bright blue hearing aids, but it seems to make them more comfortable and gives me more leeway in the "huh" department.
Note: You may need to make ha-ha-I'm-deaf comments every now and again if you are late-deafened. I'm post-lingual (scarlet fever ages 3 and 5), so others tend to forget that they need to speak slowly and clearly mid-conversation.
2. I always try to stand/sit in a place where I can see the most mouths if in a larger group.
3. I try to stick to one-on-one or two-on-one interactions. Any more, and I'm just completely lost.
4. If I am in a larger group, I try to identify the ones (1-3) who talk the most, and only focus on them, ignoring those who have less control and input re: the conversation. This may sound mean, like I don't care what relatively shy people have to say or something, but this is conversational survival.
5. A bright smile is better than "uh-huh" in response to something you don't understand, because "uh-huh" can get you into something you don't want to be. If it is unimportant, a bright smile is usually accepted as a response, and if it is important, people usually realize that you didn't understand and try again.
6. If you have enough info (context, lip movement, sound, etc) to figure out what was just said, but need a minute or two to run possibilities through your mind, it is useful to ask a question that's answer you already know, but that will take a while for the other person to explain. This way you don't need to be listening, and can focus on figuring out what you just missed.

Hmm... This is the first time I've ever tried to sit down and think through some of my methods... I usually just do them. I figure if you just practice as much as you can, you'll naturally develop methods, yourself.

Good luck!
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I am a forklift driver in the shipping department. I have met a lot of truck drivers who were born in India. They all speak English and from one to eight other languages. Some speak with little or no accent some have a very heavy accent. Those who are comfortable with idioms seem more comfortable with British idioms than American idioms.

Deaf people in India face a problem American Deaf do not.

While you can believe in karma without believing in reincarnation, and you can believe in reincarnation without believing in karma, in India both are widely accepted as fact. Thus D/deaf people in India face the problem of dealing with a sizable segment of the population that believes the deafness was visited upon them as a result of karma -- Having done something wrong in a past life. Many of these people do not want anything to do with someone deaf.

Note please this does not mean "all" by any stretch. One truck driver from India used to pick up loads where I work. He was teaching me Punjabi and I was teaching him ASL. Unfortunately he has not been by in a few years and I have forgotten most of what he taught me.

Thus both my statement and my question.
 
horizon22 said:
Communicating with hearing people has been a big scary thing to me. I often worry about not being able to hear their replies and communicate properly, which also comes by experience since at many occasions I have tried to get involved but failed to communicate with hearing people which discourages me to go and speak to them or participate in any of their group.

Please share your experiences and suggestion about how this can be overcome.

Thank you.
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Hearing impaired or deaf doesn't matter. Everyone has a fear of saying something that people will laugh at or not fitting in. I'm in both worlds: moderate to severely deaf in one ear and severe to profound in the right; I speak great and most people assume I hear great too and I just don't. I'm always worried I'll miss things. It really doesn't help that I have social phobia on top of shyness, but I manage at work by just jumping in. Not the answer you want is it? There's no magic. It's being up front with people about your limitations and trying to work around it. I start small by talking about what I made over the weekend (usually pizza), or what I bought from lunch at the bakery. You know, most of the times, I don't always know what people are saying to me, but sometimes I get lucky. You work with what you have and it does it better with practice.

I'm in a situation now where my new job will involve direct interaction with the public on a daily basis - can you guess how I'm feeling about it? My potential new employers don't know I'm hearing impaired - there are things during the interview I missed but somehow, I faked it till I made it. No job yet but looks promising - and if I get it, I have to start all over again working up the courage to talk to people to make new friends. Hang in there, you'll get stronger with each new attempt to connect so don't let anything hold you back from trying.


Laura
 
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horizon22 said:
Communicating with hearing people has been a big scary thing to me. I often worry about not being able to hear their replies and communicate properly, which also comes by experience since at many occasions I have tried to get involved but failed to communicate with hearing people which discourages me to go and speak to them or participate in any of their group.

Please share your experiences and suggestion about how this can be overcome.

Thank you.
Click to expand...

I have misunderstood what people had said and gave the wrong answer , something it's very funny and I will laugh myself. I been HOH my whole life and I have gotten uses to not being able to hear everything and I will ask people to repeat what they said , and if they do not like having to do this they're not worth talking to in the first place. I once was talking to a neigbor
about birds and I thought she said she saw some 'goldfish' in the yard one day. She said she saw some 'goldfinches' in the yard one day. It was very funny. I think the more you get out and talk to people you'll feel more comfortable about it. You could try just taking to a couple of people at one time. I am not good being room with a lot of people talking at the same time. It sound likes a swarm of bees buzzing all at once .
 
I understand what they mean. I have problems socializing with people because I miss out on alot of the conversation. Which is why I usually tend to stand home.
 
Beware at Walmart. About two years ago, I had had surgery to repair the hole in my left eardrum and another in the right ear. I wasn't wearing my hearing aids but thought I could handle a simple trip to our local Walmart. NOT!
I was okay for most of the trip and clung to my mom's side, freaking out at every vibration and muted, dimmed noise. Finally, it came down to check out. My aisle had no candy, they were sold out but the one three down had my favorite - Reese's. I asked my mom to let me go get it and she signed yes. I walked over, focused on getting this candy. As soon as I touched the candy to take it to our aisle and leave, someone grabbed me roughly on my shoulder and spun me around.

I turned to see my mom yelling and this lady employee gaping in shock and surprise at me. Mom told her to let go, that I was hearing impaired and just had ear surgery (read her lips). The lady quickly let go and dashed off without apologizing. My mom ran over and got me back to our basket and we left as fast as we could. When we were in the car, mom told me why the lady had grabbed me. (I ended up dropping the candy to the ground, didn't buy it.) Apparently, there was a puddle of soda nearby and there was no slippery floor sign. The employee apparently thought when I didn't stop walking towards the candy that I was some punk kid ignoring her so she grabbed me to yell and get me to move.

We told the manager and we have not seen her since but I have had many second thoughts about going to Walmart every time someone mentions their name.
 
scoobydoo said:
I understand what they mean. I have problems socializing with people because I miss out on alot of the conversation. Which is why I usually tend to stand home.
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Don't stay home, get out there and socialize if that's what you want to do. Where there's a will, there's a way and both deaf and hearing will find a way to communicate with you. Let them know you are having trouble keeping up with the conversation and they will figure out a way to fix this so that you can join in. Don't give up.
 
Mimsy said:
Don't stay home, get out there and socialize if that's what you want to do. Where there's a will, there's a way and both deaf and hearing will find a way to communicate with you. Let them know you are having trouble keeping up with the conversation and they will figure out a way to fix this so that you can join in. Don't give up.
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It's hard too. I can only lip read and hear so much. I feel like such a burden when I ask people what they said and whatnot.
 
scoobydoo said:
It's hard too. I can only lip read and hear so much. I feel like such a burden when I ask people what they said and whatnot.
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I've been a hermit for the past nearly 10 years because of feeling this way about myself. And hearing friends have dropped away because they don't understand and even when I "educate" them, they "forget." :roll: But I am now trying to make connections with people again, this time with others like me who are HOH or those who are Late Deafened. We are all in the same boat trying to dance as fast as we can, and not being able to dance fast enough to get along in the hearing world, as we once did. So I am making friends in my beginning ASL classes and that is helping. One step at a time, I am trying to come out of my isolation. Because it's kinda lonely in there... :(
 
forget about church too, they will only pity you and give you 'company' but for all the wrong reasons...

keep conversation short, try organise a 'doing things together' hell join a 'Home and away social sports group' that is a GREAT way, be it darts, or pools, or bowls, bowling, 10 pin bowling, something you see, you would have something to talk about, something in common with the same group, this way that same group gets to know you, and you get to know them, in a nice familiarising environment, dont get me wrong its not the same as limiting the experience, Definitely NOT!!, it is a GATEway to MORE, new people always from the 'away' team...

think about this one
its one of the best
i am part of a Deaf Pool Team, and its very very good, relaxed and very stimulating too at the same time...
So...
try find the nearest 'Social games club" and join it, AND most importantly DO NOT say NO, because you lack skills (I am shit at pool - they taught, encouraged me some and now im really taking off, getting some skills , its really good, develops my skills and my life too!!)
so trust me, this is probably the best advice you'd get, to get over isolation and extreme shyness, im very shy I suffer for BAD tinnitus and i feel i had to do something too, this way i took was a real saviour

think about it, and good luck!
 
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