Saying "I love you"

[Silentwolfdog]

Even though the child cannot say anything at all, It is shown clearly in their behavior/actions. What I mean is - my oldest is autistic and he is not able to communicate but he does know when I tell him that I love him. How do I know that? It is because of his affections towards me. He would give me a tight hug and kiss all over my face. Now, That is always obviously, a precious moment to me.

To hear or to see it is not as special as it is when it is actually shown. To show it is meaningful whether it is spoken or not. There are different ways of showing it regardless of signing or speaking. I'd think - To hear the word "I love you" is great but at the same time, to sign it still has the same meaning, same value for the love itself. It doesn't matter how it is said one way or other. It serves for the same purpose.

I see, thank you for sharing this with us. What you mentioned is exactly what I was trying to tell people. There are many different ways of express your love toward another person.

 

[rockdrummer]

We're not talking about the definition--we're talking about communication of the concept. Is it communicated only by being able to hear the words "I love you?' I think not. Once can say I love you, but if one does not back up those words with action that makes another feel love, then the words are useless. That is waht I meant by love being an action. Like wise, it is possible to have never heard those words in one's lifetime and still to have felt love demonstrated in action.

Well maybe once again I am unable to grasp the topic. My take on it from the first post is that hearing people feel that sign is inferior. And that saying I love you has more meaning that signing it. My point is that it doesn't matter if you sign or say I love you without understanding what love is. And again that is where it becomes sticky due to the meaning (definition or concept) of love being highly subjective. At some point your definition of what love is has to come into play. It can be argued that signing ILY is as meaningless as saying it if it's not backed up with something that meets your definition or what you think the concept is. My personal opinion is that Shel is taking advantage of an opportunity to point out that hearing people think sign is inferior. I would be interested in seeing the links to the blogs she speaks of where this was discussed. Not to second guess Shel but to make sure that I understand it in it's original context.

I have read blogs, articles and even had hearing people say this..."I feel sorry
for the deaf child to never hear their parents say "I love you."
Help me understand this...all I see is again sign language is being seen as inferior again.

 

[shel90]

Well maybe once again I am unable to grasp the topic. My take on it from the first post is that hearing people feel that sign is inferior. And that saying I love you has more meaning that signing it. My point is that it doesn't matter if you sign or say I love you without understanding what love is. And again that is where it becomes sticky due to the meaning (definition or concept) of love being highly subjective. At some point your definition of what love is has to come into play. It can be argued that signing ILY is as meaningless as saying it if it's not backed up with something that meets your definition or what you think the concept is. My personal opinion is that Shel is taking advantage of an opportunity to point out that hearing people think sign is inferior. I would be interested in seeing the links to the blogs she speaks of where this was discussed. Not to second guess Shel but to make sure that I understand it in it's original context.

How else is it supposed to be taken if hearing parents say stuff like these or what that woman I argued this about with said about how there is a difference with saying it and signing it? I think there is no difference. Why should there be a difference? If the children are unable to hear it, then find other ways to convey the message to them instead of whining how they cant hear those words. :roll:

 

[jillio]

How else is it supposed to be taken if hearing parents say stuff like these or what that woman I argued this about with said about how there is a difference with saying it and signing it? I think there is no difference. Why should there be a difference? If the children are unable to hear it, then find other ways to convey the message to them instead of whining how they cant hear those words. :roll:

Exactly! To sau "Finally I can tell my child I love them!" is to imply that there is no other way to do that than with oral language! Absurd!!!

 

[rockdrummer]

Exactly! To sau "Finally I can tell my child I love them!" is to imply that there is no other way to do that than with oral language! Absurd!!!

I honestly believe that its ignorance from a hearing persons perspective which is what I thought I had said earlier. IMHO anyone that knows love understands that saying or signing it is only a very small part of what love is about.

 

[morbid-mongoose]

IMHO anyone that knows love understands that saying or signing it is only a very small part of what love is about.

Even though the child cannot say anything at all, It is shown clearly in their behavior/actions. What I mean is - my oldest is autistic and he is not able to communicate but he does know when I tell him that I love him. How do I know that? It is because of his affections towards me. He would give me a tight hug and kiss all over my face. Now, That is always obviously, a precious moment to me.

Aw, that's so sweet. Anyone can say or sign "I love you." Showing it is what it's about.

 

[shel90]

I honestly believe that its ignorance from a hearing persons perspective which is what I thought I had said earlier. IMHO anyone that knows love understands that saying or signing it is only a very small part of what love is about.[/QUOTE]

Agreed!

 

[Dixie]

I have to say that the best moments with my daughter haven't involved a single spoken word. A glace, a smile, a hig, a kiss, or simply holding hands.

To me words are meaningless unless you have ACTIONS that back them up.

Me personally the phrase I love you is thrown around like trash these days, like love is disposable - like the condoms from last nights sex.

BUT because I feel that the word love itself is sacred of sorts, I dont utter it often unless I truly mean it.

These days I go around and hear people say - "I love Jesus" or "I love my boyfriend" or "I love my car" or I love - insert any number of things, but in the end after it has been said - its little more than an empty phrase.

As my father has said - Never use a word you cannot accurately define.

 

[jillio]

I have to say that the best moments with my daughter haven't involved a single spoken word. A glace, a smile, a hig, a kiss, or simply holding hands.

To me words are meaningless unless you have ACTIONS that back them up.

Me personally the phrase I love you is thrown around like trash these days, like love is disposable - like the condoms from last nights sex.

BUT because I feel that the word love itself is sacred of sorts, I dont utter it often unless I truly mean it.

These days I go around and hear people say - "I love Jesus" or "I love my boyfriend" or "I love my car" or I love - insert any number of things, but in the end after it has been said - its little more than an empty phrase.

As my father has said - Never use a word you cannot accurately define.