Saying "I love you"

shel90 said:
I have read blogs, articles and even had hearing people say this..."I feel sorry
for the deaf child to never hear their parents say "I love you." I tell those that the parents and people in general that they can still sign "I love you." to their deaf children to show them their love. Then they say things like how it is still not the same or it is not as meaningful. HUH??? Isnt the most important thing for the child to know that their parents love them whether it is in spoken or in signed form? It seems like they are implying that by saying "I love you" in signing isnt as powerful as saying it in spoken language.

On a side note I love you was one of the first signs that I learned. My son always touches his ILY signed hand to mine which I thought was good and re-enforced that he does understand what it means. Following it with a hug also helps. I am confident he knows what it means.

On a side note, I love you was one of the first signs that I learned. Whenever I sign that to my son he always has to touch his ILY signed hand to mine which I thought was good and re-enforced to me that he does understand what it means.

I got into an argument with one person recently about that and I told her that children of deaf parents get the message just as much as children of hearing parents. Then she said that people see it different when it comes to deaf children of hearing parents. I dont see the difference. I have read blogs when kids get HAs or CIs, the parents are saying things like "Finally I can say 'I love you.' to my son or daughter for the first time in years." Hmmm..I guess I dont understand this concept so anyone can help me understand what is the difference between saying it in spoken and sign language? I think there is NO difference as long as the children know and understand the meaning of their parents' love for them.

Help me understand this...all I see is again sign language is being seen as inferior again. :pissed:
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Its because your view is from a deaf perspesctive which is ok. I only hope that you can understand from a hearing perspective it's a different point of view which is ok too. In other words I respect your view and hope you can respect mine as well. (not me and you personally but hearing vs. deaf perspectives in general) Live and let live!
 
rockdrummer said:
Its because your view is from a deaf perspesctive which is ok. I only hope that you can understand from a hearing perspective it's a different point of view which is ok too. In other words I respect your view and hope you can respect mine as well. (not me and you personally but hearing vs. deaf perspectives in general) Live and let live!
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So means the parents feel because their child cant hear that they cant adapt to the child's needs to ensure the child learns about love from them? I can understand that it is the hearing's perspective but what about the child's perspective? Children need to learn the concept of love and if they cant hear those words, they still can learn about them in other ways. I would feel sorry for the children if their parents pity them cuz it teaches them self-pity. I have seen that happen too many times with my deaf friends and their parents.
 
understanding the meaning of love is an issue that everyone restles with. I would wager that if you took a room of 10 people hearing and deaf you would probably get 10 different opinions of what the definition of love is. This is a very profound subject that affects hearing and deaf alike of all ages. From the perspective of a child I would imagine that (in part) love would be the feeling of security for them.
 
But when parent said, "Finally, I can tell my kid I love you." It make them sound like sign language is worthless or that kid would never understand it unless they can "hear." What a disgrace thought...

It's like parent saying finally I can tell em I love you in Spanish rather than English, in a way that Spanish is better than English. Even though the message they are trying to get across is just the same.

Sigh...sometimes I just think people who are "normal" are even more weird than people who's not.

Shel90 don't let this stop you from telling parents that it's okay for them to say "I love you" in sign language. It's better this way than children never get it from parent at all. A good parent will understand this.

What do you say about autism children? I bet you that parent already know that the children love parent even though their children never say anything at all.
That is the truest, purest form of love. One that is never spoken at all.

Just thought of your blogs is making me little angry...I usually don't get angry over different point of views, because I understood the different values or cultures. But this blogs you mentioned of what parents are saying? Ridiculous...
 
Silentwolfdog said:
But when parent said, "Finally, I can tell my kid I love you." It make them sound like sign language is worthless or that kid would never understand it unless they can "hear." What a disgrace thought...

It's like parent saying finally I can tell em I love you in Spanish rather than English, in a way that Spanish is better than English. Even though the message they are trying to get across is just the same.

Sigh...sometimes I just think people who are "normal" are even more weird than people who's not.

Shel90 don't let this stop you from telling parents that it's okay for them to say "I love you" in sign language. It's better this way than children never get it from parent at all. A good parent will understand this.

What do you say about autism children? I bet you that parent already know that the children love parent even though their children never say anything at all.
That is the truest, purest form of love. One that is never spoken at all.

Just thought of your blogs is making me little angry...I usually don't get angry over different point of views, because I understood the different values or cultures. But this blogs you mentioned of what parents are saying? Ridiculous...
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Not my blogs...just blogs I found on the Internet that parents posted about their deaf children especially the ones who recieved their implants and then making that comment "Finally, I can say 'I love you'" to my child and teach them about what love is all about." Why wait until the child gets a CI to teach them? That's what I dont understand..there are other ways besides speaking to teach them about love. :crazy:
 
rockdrummer said:
understanding the meaning of love is an issue that everyone restles with. I would wager that if you took a room of 10 people hearing and deaf you would probably get 10 different opinions of what the definition of love is. This is a very profound subject that affects hearing and deaf alike of all ages. From the perspective of a child I would imagine that (in part) love would be the feeling of security for them.
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But the whole point here is that love is an action, not a word. Simply using your voice to tell someone you love them doesn't mean crap if you don't show them you love them. Its not the words that communicate the message.
 
Silentwolfdog said:
But when parent said, "Finally, I can tell my kid I love you." It make them sound like sign language is worthless or that kid would never understand it unless they can "hear." What a disgrace thought...

It's like parent saying finally I can tell em I love you in Spanish rather than English, in a way that Spanish is better than English. Even though the message they are trying to get across is just the same.

Sigh...sometimes I just think people who are "normal" are even more weird than people who's not.

Shel90 don't let this stop you from telling parents that it's okay for them to say "I love you" in sign language. It's better this way than children never get it from parent at all. A good parent will understand this.

What do you say about autism children? I bet you that parent already know that the children love parent even though their children never say anything at all.
That is the truest, purest form of love. One that is never spoken at all.

Just thought of your blogs is making me little angry...I usually don't get angry over different point of views, because I understood the different values or cultures. But this blogs you mentioned of what parents are saying? Ridiculous...
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**nodding agreement**
 
Levonian doesn't speak for me. How about the rest of you? Lol....
 
Levonian is my official spokesperson when it comes to issues concerning HER.
 
Silentwolfdog said:
What do you say about autism children? I bet you that parent already know that the children love parent even though their children never say anything at all. That is the truest, purest form of love. One that is never spoken at all.
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Even though the child cannot say anything at all, It is shown clearly in their behavior/actions. What I mean is - my oldest is autistic and he is not able to communicate but he does know when I tell him that I love him. How do I know that? It is because of his affections towards me. He would give me a tight hug and kiss all over my face. Now, That is always obviously, a precious moment to me.

To hear or to see it is not as special as it is when it is actually shown. To show it is meaningful whether it is spoken or not. There are different ways of showing it regardless of signing or speaking. I'd think - To hear the word "I love you" is great but at the same time, to sign it still has the same meaning, same value for the love itself. It doesn't matter how it is said one way or other. It serves for the same purpose.
 
jillio said:
But the whole point here is that love is an action, not a word. Simply using your voice to tell someone you love them doesn't mean crap if you don't show them you love them. Its not the words that communicate the message.
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oh my dear jillio.. Love is far more than an action. At least my definition of love is. This is where it gets sticky. The definition of love (believe it or not) is highly subjective.
 
rockdrummer said:
oh my dear jillio.. Love is far more than an action. At least my definition of love is. This is where it gets sticky. The definition of love (believe it or not) is highly subjective.
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We're not talking about the definition--we're talking about communication of the concept. Is it communicated only by being able to hear the words "I love you?' I think not. Once can say I love you, but if one does not back up those words with action that makes another feel love, then the words are useless. That is waht I meant by love being an action. Like wise, it is possible to have never heard those words in one's lifetime and still to have felt love demonstrated in action.
 
jillio said:
We're not talking about the definition--we're talking about communication of the concept. Is it communicated only by being able to hear the words "I love you?' I think not. Once can say I love you, but if one does not back up those words with action that makes another feel love, then the words are useless. That is waht I meant by love being an action. Like wise, it is possible to have never heard those words in one's lifetime and still to have felt love demonstrated in action.
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Exactly!
 
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