Random Vents.....

StevieMont927 said:
I understand that it's a process, but getting through the day without being a wreck'd be nice. I was just asking about different methods to help with going through day-to-day life. Looking back now, though, it's almost impossible advice to give. <sigh> My mom worked hospice, so I heard a lot about the grief process, and when my great-grandma died, they gave us these packets explaining things. I think one of the major problems right now is build-up. I haven't been able to work through each loss before another came up, and that's the big issue.

I'm sorry for your losses as well. Have you ever read a book called "Tear Soup"? It's a really well done book on grief. The illustrations are awesome as well. It seems like it'd be a kid's book, but it isn't, and I like to read through it from time to time to remind myself not to lock everything up. That part of grieving is remembering, and such, and that I'm not going to just "get over it" like some people think I will....and sometimes I'm the one thinking I need to get over things. You know?
Click to expand...

There's no deadline on when you are supposed to "get over it". Everyone processes grief and loss in their own way and in their own time.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Rituals help. Honor the dearly departed. Whatever is meaningful to you. It can be as simple as lighting a candle in a person's honor. You need to express your feelings. Art and writing are helpful.
 
sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Rituals help. Honor the dearly departed. Whatever is meaningful to you. It can be as simple as lighting a candle in a person's honor. You need to express your feelings. Art and writing are helpful.
Click to expand...

sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Rituals help. Honor the dearly departed. Whatever is meaningful to you. It can be as simple as lighting a candle in a person's honor. You need to express your feelings. Art and writing are helpful.
Click to expand...

sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Rituals help. Honor the dearly departed. Whatever is meaningful to you. It can be as simple as lighting a candle in a person's honor. You need to express your feelings. Art and writing are helpful.
Click to expand...

Hey, sallylou, has your phone gone on a posting spree by itself? :wave:
 
lucas said:
maybe she just REALLY REALLY wants to get her point across aha
Click to expand...

:lol: Could be. And it's a valid point, but for some reason, I envision her off innocently making a cup of coffee, while the phone carries out it's own agenda... :shock:
 
Bottesini said:
:lol: Could be. And it's a valid point, but for some reason, I envision her off innocently making a cup of coffee, while the phone carries out it's own agenda... :shock:
Click to expand...

It's a sign, the electronics will take over the world...
 
Thanks, everyone. My condolences as well.

Sallylou, i'd watch out for your phone....first, it takes the interwebs, next? Who knows?

I've decided to start journalling. Will be on more when I'm at my computer.
 
I will say this. My father died back in 1991. Before I was married and had my kids. Well - along come 1997 or 1998 and I have to go onto antidepressants since I started having issues missing my father and lamenting that my kids or hubby never met him. What didn't help through this was hubby constantly asking if my mother thought my father would have liked him or approved of him. It finally took my oldest brother assuring hubby that yes, my father would have liked and approved of him. After about 2 years, I was finally able to get off the meds as I was able to deal with it.
 
I am glad you were able to deal with it, KristinaB.

I do not look forward to my parents getting old and dying. So far, they are pretty young but time is going by so fast. Getting old sucks. :(
 
StevieMont927 said:
My grandpa just passed away. I'm so freaking SICK of people DYING on me!! It's not fair......and out of the five people who raised me, together, and had the most influence on my life, I have one left.

I don't know how to handle this. I don't.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry! :(

Jen M.
 
StevieMont927 said:
Forgive me if I sound snippy, I just found out.

It's kinda hard to stay strong at this point, as I've lost one person per year since 2007, with my dad being only five months ago.

I'm doing my best, I really am, it's just so, freaking, hard sometimes, but at this point.......

Anyone have ideas for coping?
Click to expand...

Let the emotions come and wash over you, and then let them run their course. Talk to people. Reach out. Remind your loved ones that you love them--both friends and family (including your animals, if you have any.) Tell yourselves happy stories from your time with the people you've lost. And again, talk to people. It really helps.

Again, I'm so sorry. :(

Jen M.
 
StevieMont927 said:
I understand that it's a process, but getting through the day without being a wreck'd be nice. I was just asking about different methods to help with going through day-to-day life. Looking back now, though, it's almost impossible advice to give. <sigh> My mom worked hospice, so I heard a lot about the grief process, and when my great-grandma died, they gave us these packets explaining things. I think one of the major problems right now is build-up. I haven't been able to work through each loss before another came up, and that's the big issue.

I'm sorry for your losses as well. Have you ever read a book called "Tear Soup"? It's a really well done book on grief. The illustrations are awesome as well. It seems like it'd be a kid's book, but it isn't, and I like to read through it from time to time to remind myself not to lock everything up. That part of grieving is remembering, and such, and that I'm not going to just "get over it" like some people think I will....and sometimes I'm the one thinking I need to get over things. You know?
Click to expand...

As far as just getting through the day to day stuff, I find that taking one thing at a time really helps. Do just one task at a time, and take a lot of breaks. Give yourself permission to excuse yourself and go somewhere to be alone for a few minutes if the emotions overwhelm you.

Jen M.
 
My vent: I suspect I may be dealing with more than a stomach bug. There's a lot of pain and pressure and (without getting too graphic) some other, very worrying symptoms. I'm taking tomorrow off and going to the doctor and following up with some other lab work (unrelated.) Did I mention the pain? :(

Jen M.
 
DeafCaroline said:
StevieMont927 - I feel your pain. Lost my mother when I was 15 then 2 aunts, 2 grandmothers, a grandfather within the following 2 years then my father 3 years ago. There really isn't any cure for grief except two things - talk it out with friends when you need to and secondly, waiting for enough time to pass that the rawness is not so intense anymore. I also wrote alot in my journals on really bad days which helped too.
Click to expand...

now, i feel like an asshole to you earlier today...sorry and sorry. I was wrong and mean and I'm sorry.
 
Frisky Feline said:
I am sorry for everyones beloved losses. I am not good at it.
Click to expand...

Ditto.....I remember when my mother died. I cried no tears at the funeral...Everyone was saying..."Be strong!"....and felt I should not show my emotions....I t was afterwards when I got back home that the tears came down like falling rain.....

Everyone is entitled to show their emotions, pain, even tears when something really hurts them. I admired my grandfather also and when he died, I was 600 miles away, so I missed talking to him before he died and letting him know how much I thanked him for raising me all those years!....

Life comes and goes....we have to accept the unevitable...And when I was in the hospital, I could see the worry and the pain from my 3 boys....Now, I do talk to them, off and on, about death and letting them know that the pain and tears is only human...let them out.

Find urself a little cornor in ur world and let ur emotions out...and talk to other people also, it helps a lot.
 
my winter hat was locked away in my car, and I took my dog out for a quick walk in the cold. AUGH my ears froze! dumb dog having to make me walk him outside so he can do his business...... grrrr winter hahahahaha. I complain about winter too much, I know.
 
so annoy, cant find good chapstick or lipbalm for chapped lip. nothing help! my lip keep peel off skin. i wish my lip smooth and perfect.
 
Back
Top