PTSD and abuse.

[jillio]

That's so interesting! How is it protective?

Often times, the emotion would be overwhelming to the client. To the extent that they truly believe if they were to allow themselves to actually feel and experience it, it would kill them.

 

[SFShawn13]

That makes sense.

 

[jillio]

This is going to sound deliberate, but it's not. I can say it's probably a way to shield ourselves from the emotions. In my case, fear, humiliation, terror, shame.....among others.

Yes. You perceive the experience of those emotions to be terrifying and overwhelming. As if going there means you will never be able to gain control again.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Often times, the emotion would be overwhelming to the client. To the extent that they truly believe if they were to allow themselves to actually feel and experience it, it would kill them.

Exactly. I have told my therapist. If I start crying, I may never stop. It's just not something I do easily. I will cry for others, but to cry for myself is extremely difficult for me. The feelings of pain and sadness are overwhelming.

 

[Hear Again]

Even then, it's difficult. Many people who truly been abused won't show any emotion when describing the event. Having said that, I also struggle to verbalize what happened to me. When I do, I have great difficulty looking the person in the eye. I'll look everywhere but that person. I'll fidget. I have also been known to have anxiety attacks when describing the things that took place. In short, I cannot do it easily. I can do it NON verbally, or I can do it when the person isn't looking right at me, but to do it sitting with someone is very difficult for me.

this is true. when i described my sexual, physical and emotional abuse to my therapist, i never shed a tear. in fact, my therapist told me that my voice was much different than usual because it was "flat" and devoid of emotion. my affect was also gone. as soon as we switched topics and started talking about something different, he said it's as if a switch had been flipped and i became a completely different person. there was lilt in my voice and my affect suddenly returned.

 

[jillio]

Exactly. I have told my therapist. If I start crying, I may never stop. It's just not something I do easily. I will cry for others, but to cry for myself is extremely difficult for me. The feelings of pain and sadness are overwhelming.

That is exactly why trust is the foundation of the therapeutic relationship. One must feel safe to go where one needs to go in order to heal.

 

[Hear Again]

speaking of crying, i can't remember the last time i cried. i just can't do it for fear of starting and never being able to stop. it's ironic because when i was misdiagnosed with mdd (major depressive disorder) in 1991, i cried at almost everything. now even the most emotional events and situations have no effect on me. the only exception is whenever i hear someone crying. as soon as i hear that, it immediately brings me back to my traumas and i have to escape in order to protect myself emotionally.

 

[dreama]

dreama,

i'm not a therapist, but i believe one way to identify the difference between those who have been truly abused vs. those who are malingerers is how that individual describes their experience. do they show any emotion when recalling what happened? are the details they share cosistent with other information they've mentioned in the past? are they reluctant to discuss their traumas (this is one key component to identifying a malingerer as most people who experience a traumatic event do everything they can to avoid talking about it)?

That's interesting. So you are saying that people with made up memories are more likely to talk about them?

 

[jillio]

That's interesting. So you are saying that people with made up memories are more likely to talk about them?

People who are malingering are more likely to talk about their symptoms and their experiences, but that doesn't really involve memories. They know they are making things up.

People with false memory syndrome, however, actually believe their false memories and are convinced that something happened that can be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt not to have happened. They don't talk about their false memories as readily, or in the same way, that a malingerer does.

Also, people with false memory syndrome can actually be very consistent in their reports, where malingerers will change their story or be inconsistent in their reports.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

That is exactly why trust is the foundation of the therapeutic relationship. One must feel safe to go where one needs to go in order to heal.

Exactly. My tdoc has taken me there, but that doesn't mean I like it!

 

[Hear Again]

jillio,

how does one go about treating someone with false memory syndrome? does a therapist acknowledge a person's "memories" or do they try to convince that individual of the fact that their memories are non-existent and based on false pretenses (sp)?

 

[jillio]

Exactly. My tdoc has taken me there, but that doesn't mean I like it!

You don't gotta like it...you just gotta trust that he can take you there and bring you back better for having made the trip.

To be honest, if any of my clients told me that they actually enjoyed re-experiencing the pain and doing the hard work of healing, I'd probably add "masochist" to their diagnosis!:P

 

[jillio]

jillio,

how does one go about treating someone with false memory syndrome? does a therapist acknowledge a person's "memories" or do they try to convince that individual that their memories are non-existent and based on false pretenses (sp)?

Its lengthy and not always completely effective. It is much easier to do the damage than it is to undo the damage. You have to validate their feeling while confronting them with reality. Not easy to accomplish.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

You don't gotta like it...you just gotta trust that he can take you there and bring you back better for having made the trip.

To be honest, if any of my clients told me that they actually enjoyed re-experiencing the pain and doing the hard work of healing, I'd probably add "masochist" to their diagnosis!:P

 

[Hear Again]

To be honest, if any of my clients told me that they actually enjoyed re-experiencing the pain and doing the hard work of healing, I'd probably add "masochist" to their diagnosis!:P

 

[Hear Again]

Its lengthy and not always completely effective. It is much easier to do the damage than it is to undo the damage. You have to validate their feeling while confronting them with reality. Not easy to accomplish.

how is that possible to accomplish? it sounds like a contradiction.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

how is that possible to accomplish? it sounds like a contradiction.

My therapist will say to me... "Your'e abuse was horrendous. You have a right to feel the way you do." He validates for me the right to feel while asking me to go to those emotional places that are hard for me to go to. He WANTS me to go there, and the only way I will is if he says I'm allowed to.

 

[Hear Again]

My therapist will say to me... "Your'e abuse was horrendous. You have a right to feel the way you do." He validates for me the right to feel while asking me to go to those emotional places that are hard for me to go to. He WANTS me to go there, and the only way I will is if he says I'm allowed to.

i understand the concept as it applies to ptsd (and my therapist does/says the same thing), but what i'm wondering is how it applies to false memory syndrome?

 

[Oceanbreeze]

i understand the concept as it applies to ptsd (and my therapist does/says the same thing), but what i'm wondering is how it applies to false memory syndrome?

Oh. I don't know that answer. Jillio will need to offer input. Not my area...

Sworry, dear.

 

[Hear Again]

hmmm. now i'm confused. when it comes to my ptsd my therapist has never taken me where i don't want to go. in fact, he told me that if i'm not ready to conduct one of his ptsd exercises, i don't have to. he mentioned doing an "empty chair" exercise which i refuse to do (although i haven't told him this) because of flashbacks i have related to doing the same exercise while i was hospitalized for depression in my early 20s.