Polygamy

Reba said:
How so? What is that "power?" They don't make any of the relationship decisions, including choice of spouses. They don't control any of the wealth or material of the family. They can't do anything without permission.

If that's power for women, please don't bring it to the USA.
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In fact women in the U.S. GAINED power and became the richest gender because of arranged marriages. At the turn of the last century girls reaching the age of 14 were married to "eligible" bachelors -- Single men with established incomes who were two to three times their age.

They simply outlived their husbands, sometimes more than one, and wound up in control of all the money and the power that went with it.
 
LuciaDisturbed said:
Bullshit. I bet you watch internet porn!
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you complaint always! stop it please grow up because respect


verbal swearing not toleration behavior your seems immature!

you should be respect to fair to member

I am seriou s

I warned you foul language

you seems aggreesive and emotional
 
jillio said:
In the lineage. When we are talking the cultures of Africa that practice polyandry, there is not money and wealth to be concerned with.

Can't do anything without permission? That could be disputed. All control within the family lies within the family of the matriarch.
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How is that possible when the woman doesn't choose her mate, and when the man controls everything?

Anything owned is not owned by the husbands, or their families, but by the family of the matriarch.
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That's not what I read or posted.

As I said before, the matriarch's brother has more power within the family unit, and in deciding divisions of property and/or wealth, than do the husbands.
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That's not what it said where I searched.
 
Berry said:
In fact women in the U.S. GAINED power and became the richest gender because of arranged marriages. At the turn of the last century girls reaching the age of 14 were married to "eligible" bachelors -- Single men with established incomes who were two to three times their age.

They simply outlived their husbands, sometimes more than one, and wound up in control of all the money and the power that went with it.
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That's not polygamy/polyandry. That's monogamy.
 
LuciaDisturbed said:
Bullshit. I bet you watch internet porn!
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You mean about 2 males doing it in one gal's one hole? No, my boyfriend found a DVD showing a picture of the 2 men inserting their dicks in one female's vagina at the XXX shop and he showed it to me.
 
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KStiletto said:
Great read.. My issue with polygamy has always been what the daughters of that upbringing believe..That I may never know. When they grow up to be adults would they be more likely to live the same lifestyle they've seen growing up. Although I don't like polygamy the message I'd want the children to be taught is that's it's okay to want just one person in the future if they so choose.

I do understand why the idea might seem positive to some, as someone said before the "tribe" feel, but with everything else aside scheduling sex, and knowing there is five or more people sharing bodily fluids with what is suppose to be my love, I can't imagine jealousy not being involved in some way. It's normal human emotion. If there was a side piece (a boyfriend/girlfriend on the side) then it might not be so bad.
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You believe jealousy is natural. And a lot of people do.

I don't.

It is also why I did not marry until I was almost 30.

Jealousy is a social and cultural sickness that is fostered in our society in order to increase competition for money, cars, women, men, and anything else we can acquire -- and keep away from others.

Jealousy goes beyond lack of trust in the other person.... It does not limit itself to trying to keep the person from being shared with others... It develops into a fear that the other person will belong to

themselves --

And not to you.
 
Reba said:
How is that possible when the woman doesn't choose her mate, and when the man controls everything?


That's not what I read or posted.


That's not what it said where I searched.
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Where did you get the idea that the matriarch of a polyandrical marraige doesn't choose her mate?

Again, lineage. Power through matriarchal configuration of lineage.

You are again looking at this from your own cultural perspective. That is not appropriate when attempting to define power or empowerment within a different culture.
 
Berry said:
You believe jealousy is natural. And a lot of people do.

I don't.

It is also why I did not marry until I was almost 30.

Jealousy is a social and cultural sickness that is fostered in our society in order to increase competition for money, cars, women, men, and anything else we can acquire -- and keep away from others.

Jealousy goes beyond lack of trust in the other person.... It does not limit itself to trying to keep the person from being shared with others... It develops into a fear that the other person will belong to

themselves --

And not to you.
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Funny, I'm like that. When people threaten or tell me something I said ok, do that. Do what you wish. They then go and say I am apathetic or indifferent.

Its like I can't win because it's these people are so rooted in society's "norms".
 
Berry said:
So lack of choice and freedom is okay if it is monogamous but not if it is polygamous?

I think is is my bed time.
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I believe it is mine too. I see where this has the potential to go.
 
Berry said:
You believe jealousy is natural. And a lot of people do.

I don't.

It is also why I did not marry until I was almost 30.

Jealousy is a social and cultural sickness that is fostered in our society in order to increase competition for money, cars, women, men, and anything else we can acquire -- and keep away from others.

Jealousy goes beyond lack of trust in the other person.... It does not limit itself to trying to keep the person from being shared with others... It develops into a fear that the other person will belong to

themselves --

And not to you.
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Jealousy is founded in the notion of ownership of another person
 
neomayja said:
If everyone agrees on the relationships and there is no abuse, metal or physical, everyone is of legal age and all the people have their rights and freedoms then I don't see a problem for those who choose polygamy or polymory.

Honestly the main reason it has a bad rap is because of the cults and various religions and cultures that abuse or treat females as a lesser being than men. If the genders were all equal then there would be a lot less problems.
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Then it should be outlawed. There is always people who treat others badly. If one form a polygamy marriages, abuses will inevitably creep in years later. If you see the previous post about the lost boys, now that is abuse when they decided on getting rid of the extra boys when they get all the women for themselves.
 
Reba said:
Several people have said that polygamy is OK with them as long as it involves consensual adults. However, in most examples of polygamy that we've seen in the USA, they've included minors, force, and people who live on the fringes of society. Despite talk of equality, almost all cases of polygamy in the USA are about one man "in charge of" several women. Also, it's not about one man supporting several women and children. It's the women who still go to work supporting the families. Sometimes they support the man, too. Where's the benefit in that, for the women?

Does anyone know of any cases of one wife, many husbands in the USA? If so, how did that work out?
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You see that because almost all the normal poly families are very, very quiet about their lives and do not seek out cameras, publicity, or the threat of the law.

That is NOT the truth of polygamy. Those who use it as an excuse to abuse others are in the minority- just like people being abused in mono marriages does not make mono marriages abusive.
 
Berry said:
Problem.

It takes at least two full time incomes to support a family.

Who raises the child?

Paid strangers? That often uses up the bulk of one of the spouse's earnings.

In a society that places a premium on independence, where children are pushed out of the house and family at 18 and young people don't feel as though they are accomplished adults unless they are separated from their parents, grand parents, brothers, sister, aunts, and uncles, etc... There is no built in family structure to help. There is no "tribe".

One possible alternative is some form of polygamy.
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Do you accept polyandry?

I won't be surprised if most men want only polygyny. I have said in my older post that it would have to be both polygyny AND polyandry, not one or the other. What is good for goose is good for gander. I just knew that men in USA won't accept polyandry so I reject polygamy.

Women need rights. This might work if men and women are considered equal in all. I really mean equal not just in name only. I have heard of women have equal rights in muslim countries but it looks to be just in name only as the women inherit smaller amount than their brothers and two female witnesses equals one male witness, etc.
 
jillio said:
Where did you get the idea that the matriarch of a polyandrical marraige doesn't choose her mate?

Again, lineage. Power through matriarchal configuration of lineage.

You are again looking at this from your own cultural perspective. That is not appropriate when attempting to define power or empowerment within a different culture.
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"The mechanics of fraternal polyandry are simple. Two, three, four, or more brothers jointly take a wife, who leaves her home to come and live with them. Traditionally, marriage was arranged by parents, with children, particularly females, having little or no say. "
Anthropologist in the Attic: When Brothers Share a Wife: Polyandry in Tibet
 
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