Polygamy

Beowulf said:
You could be right. Honestly, I have felt jealousy before, but no longer. Weird.
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It is because your attitude toward relationships has changed, and you no longer view that relationship as necessary to complete your existence.
 
Berry said:
Only applies to those who think they HAVE to have a relationship. I was happily single for almost 30 years before I got married the first time. I was single for 5 years before I got married the second time.

Both women have two things in common. Both happy people. Both comfortable with their own company as single adults.

I believe getting married because either or both parties feel they HAVE to be in a relationship is a recipe for disaster.

You are better off alone than in a bad relationship.
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That's true. I was in a bad relationship for 5 years and I was unhappy for the latter 3 years or so of the relationship. We broke up and I realized that I am happier now alone than with my ex. I wish we had broken up much earlier. I can do whatever I want without worrying about what my ex would think.
 
Buffalo said:
Then it is socially created surivival technique when men insisted on polygyny. It was the only way a man could know that the child is his. He would want to have many children as many had died in childhood. All that had nothing to do with man's nature?

Polyandry is also socially created survival technique when men outnumbered women.
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Sex ratio has nothing to do with the existence of polygamy; nor does parenthood. They do play a role in society, but they manifest in very different ways. Polygamous relationships have to do with resources. You will see this a lot when there's not enough land to go around to divide among the men.

Societies with scarce resources tend to prefer polyandry. Polygny occurs when there's an abundance of resources. Most Muslims only have one wife because of this.
 
Buffalo said:
In present times, I would add viruses, especially HIV to the reason why man should be monogamous.
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Bobtailed blue-tongued skinks are monogamous, yet they still have transmittable STDs.

In Africa, the only people with resistance to HIV are sex workers. Their offspring will continue their professions and eventually the HIV-resistant population will displace the non-HIV population. We've seen this before with the Black Plague.

So the existence of diseases doesn't really argue for or against monogamy. Evolution of advanced diseases occur when there are no natural predation or interspecies competition.
 
I am for it. I probably would not be in one, but im not against it and i may consider it.
i dont think its wrong. as long as all parties are in agreement.

now this is NOT to say i agree with the polygamy groups you hear about in the news, where they sexually abuse children and marry their girls off at 13 or younger to grown men.
 
Polygamy is illegal here in America because if it's legal, a fucking polygamist would get the taxpayers' money since he'd write his unemployed wives off as dependents on his income tax return. In other words, we, the taxpayers pay him to support his wives. So that may be one of the reasons why Congress disapproves it for tax purposes.
 
In my opinion, it takes right people with right relationship intention to pull it off. Plus from what my friend told me, its lot of work not average people can do this. There's no right or wrong way, only if all sides are happy.

About people taking advantage of taxes, cant government do something about it?
 
Polyamory

Who is into polyamory or is involved in a polyamory relationship? I am. With two other people. And it's been great.
 
How would you define the difference between polyamory and an open relationship?

BTW Lucia, your PM box is full.
 
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I'm into it... My last girlfriend, who passed away last year, was finally letting herself live the poly life. I was one of her partners. I had been in another one previously in Austin years ago. It's always the other person who is with more than one person, never me. I'm just not lucky enough.

Polygamy is different than polyamory. Polygamy is typically one man = several women, in marriage, and polyamory doesn't necessarily have to be defined by marriage. In a lot of cases, there's no one married, or there might be two people married in an open relationship, each person having at least one other unmarried partner (or that second person might even been married to someone else). As you can see, this is NOT swinging, nor is it sleeping around. Even such poly "families" have boundaries, in that the partners may not add other people to the family in that there is "enough." That is beside the point for polyamory.

Polyamory describes a person loving more than one person in an intimate way (and it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. It could also be emotional, or physically close without the sex, even). This differs from cheating in that the involved people know about each other, and might even be friends all living in the same house together. I lived with such a family for two months while I was recovering emotionally from a bad situation with a roommate situation. There are many examples of three under the roof with a child or more. All three help out in raising them, taking the load off all of them in the long run.

Thing about this is, if there are any insecurities or hangups about something, any nagging feelings, especially jealousy, these can get magnified big time over time. Communications become even more important because this involves EVERYONE in the group. It is so crucial for the success of the relationship. Honesty is also a necessary trait in these relationships as in monogamous relationships.

I'm hoping that this is a natural outgrowth of the understanding of human nature over time and shedding the artificial restrictions of society. I feel like those of us who are poly have been robbed of so many potential partners because of their upbringing. You have to find poly groups in the area you live in, and you might even have to move to more poly-friendly areas, unless you're willing to hold off the mono-zombies.
 
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Have you seen the TV show "Sister Wives"? It is about polygamy, four wives to a husband. It's interesting.
 
I only engage in multiple lovers in Sims
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuSB7HV3Gns]Sims3: Hearbreaker "Dean Dire" - YouTube[/ame]

I guess I would feel so insecure (Is he gonna kick me out of the house for this other person? Will I have to start asking permission to go to my own home?) and inadequate (Am I unattractive? Is there a flaw in my personality?) if my SO decided to have multiple partners or a new best friend.

I am his partner AND his best friend.

Unless we simultaneously met and befriended new best friends it would be weird to not be his best friend.
 
metalangel said:
How would you define the difference between polyamory and an open relationship?

BTW Lucia, your PM box is full.
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I cleared my PM just now. I haven't been on AllDeaf in over a year because my computer and my laptop broke. I just got my laptop fixed a few weeks ago so I'm back! :)
 
deafdrummer said:
I'm into it... My last girlfriend, who passed away last year, was finally letting herself live the poly life. I was one of her partners. I had been in another one previously in Austin years ago. It's always the other person who is with more than one person, never me. I'm just not lucky enough.

Polygamy is different than polyamory. Polygamy is typically one man = several women, in marriage, and polyamory doesn't necessarily have to be defined by marriage. In a lot of cases, there's no one married, or there might be two people married in an open relationship, each person having at least one other unmarried partner (or that second person might even been married to someone else). AS you can see, this is NOT swinging, nor is it sleeping around. Even such poly "families" have boundaries, in that the partners may not add other people to the family in that there is "enough." That is beside the point for polyamory.

Polyamory describes a person loving more than one person in an intimate way (and it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. It could also be emotional, or physically close without the sex, even). This differs from cheating in that the involved people know about each other, and might even be friends all living in the same house together. I lived with such a family for two months while I was recovering emotionally from a bad situation with a roommate situation. There are many examples of three under the roof with a child or more. All three help out in raising them, taking the load off all of them in the long run.

Thing about this is, if there are any insecurities or hangups about something, any nagging feelings, especially jealousy, these can get magnified big time over time. Communications become even more important because this involves EVERYONE in the group. It is so crucial for the success of the relationship. Honesty is also a necessary trait in these relationships as in monogamous relationships.

I'm hoping that this is a natural outgrowth of the understanding of human nature over time and shedding the artificial restrictions of society. I feel like those of us who are poly have been robbed of so many potential partners because of their upbringing. You have to find poly groups in the area you live in, and you might even have to move to more poly-friendly areas, unless you're willing to hold off the mono-zombies.
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I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend passed away. My heart goes out to you and her and her family.

I know quite a few Deafies who are into polyamory. This is my second polyamory relationship. I left my last polyamory relationship because my ex-girlfriend was abusive and her son was an asshole. I am in a much better polyamory relationship now. I get told that my body is beautiful even though I don't like my body. :) They took me to Corpus Christi for New Year's for a couple days and we had a wonderful time and we had wonderful sex together. They're very kinky which makes me happy. I'm a very kinky girl. :) My girlfriend is a freak in bed and so is my boyfriend. They take good care of me too. They're very sweet to me.
 
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