Parents apathy in their deaf child's educational progress etc

[jillio]

Interesting. In the short (but feels long at times, ) six years that I've been teaching, I haven't seen a lot of parents who value education in general - regardless if it is for their deaf child or his/her hearing sibling(s). Of course there are countless types of factors that can be mentioned - socioeconomical, cultural, psychological, etc. Bottom line - I feel that many parents (not all, of course - I've worked with some AMAZING parents) just don't give a damn. More than a few seem to view me as a free babysitter, rather than a certified teacher of the deaf. Dr. Ruby Payne wrote a wonderful book about poverty - even though that doesn't sound like it applies to this discussion - it does. In her book (gosh, I think it is something like Understanding the Framework of Poverty (1995ish?) - something like that. Anyways, she talks about different kinds of poverty - which doesn't always mean money. And how poverty can shape the parent's view and value of education.

Very very true.

 

[Buffalo]

What shocks me is how could parents NOT want to learn ASL if their child is deaf? I mean, what parent would not want to be able to communicate with their child?? I don't know... but it blows my mind how a parent can indirectly blame their child for being deaf by refusing to learn a way to communicate with them. I almost view this lack of learning as intentional neglect --- emotional neglect. A child needs to be able to communicate with his or her parents and the child has done nothing wrong by not being able to hear.

Yes, and what is more mind-blowing to me is the school telling the parents not to sign. That was back in 60's and my family still don't know sign language. There are schools like that today. I don't like the idea of putting the kids in mainstreaming schools especially if the child is going to be the only deaf kid there. What if the kid can't make it? Are the parents going to be concerned about it?

 

[deafdyke]

most children became deaf due to drugs, alcohol,

Ummm nope. There hasn't been an increase of alchohol damaged kids or anything.

 

[rockdrummer]

I don't know RD. Why wouldn't they choose a common path? While I agree that responsibility, in part, falls to the others that you have named, in the end, the it is the parents' responsibility, first and foremost, for the child.

I don't think they choose a common path because it's not really the interest of the child that they have in mind but more the interest of their agendas. Take that with a grain of salt because as I have said before, I am a cynical bastard.

 

[VamPyroX]

My coworkers who have been working in this field for 20 plus years say that today's deaf kids are different than before. I asked them was it cuz of deafness being caused by drugs and stuff and they said no cuz even back then there were kids who became deaf from drugs. They said it is cuz of LRE laws. Just quoting what some of them said. They could be wrong ..who knows?

Anyways, you do have a good point.

You're right... it's because of the better understanding of laws and people abusing it.

For instance, laws were made years ago... but we never really had problems. However, as time goes by... more people are more aware of their rights and begin to abuse it. The same goes for deaf people. They are not fully aware of their rights. When they become aware, they abuse it. If a deaf person isn't hired by a company, they immediately cry "ADA Violation!" Come on, did they stop to think of the other possible reasons? Not everything revolves around deafness.

Some parents are like that. I know someone who recently had a deaf baby. Instead of actually accepting the fact that her baby is deaf, she always makes sure that the baby has his hearing aids on 24/7, exposes him to everything that's musical, tries to find information on why the baby is deaf so that she has something else to blame, does not use sign language (even though she knows sign language herself) to communicate a bit with the baby, etc. She's probably one of the worse mother-with-a-deaf-child that I've ever seen. Grr!

 

[Buffalo]

Some parents are like that. I know someone who recently had a deaf baby. Instead of actually accepting the fact that her baby is deaf, she always makes sure that the baby has his hearing aids on 24/7, exposes him to everything that's musical, tries to find information on why the baby is deaf so that she has something else to blame, does not use sign language (even though she knows sign language herself) to communicate a bit with the baby, etc. She's probably one of the worse mother-with-a-deaf-child that I've ever seen. Grr!

That is horrible. Can't we do something about that baby??? I think refusing to sign can be constituted as abuse. Don't you?

 

[VamPyroX]

That is horrible. Can't we do something about that baby??? I think refusing to sign can be constituted as abuse. Don't you?

Not really. The parents decide how the kid can grow up. Remember, we can become fluent in English based on reading and writing, not on signing. It is just a matter of how one is raised.

But, you're right... I do think that he is being denied awareness of his deaf identity.

 

[shel90]

Not really. The parents decide how the kid can grow up. Remember, we can become fluent in English based on reading and writing, not on signing. It is just a matter of how one is raised.

But, you're right... I do think that he is being denied awareness of his deaf identity.

In order for deaf children to develop literacy skills, they need a language first. If that baby is not getting full access to spoken language and no sign language, then the baby is seriously being deprived of a language which in turn will lead to difficulties in learning how to read and write in English.

 

[Buffalo]

Not really. The parents decide how the kid can grow up. Remember, we can become fluent in English based on reading and writing, not on signing. It is just a matter of how one is raised.

But, you're right... I do think that he is being denied awareness of his deaf identity.

The baby is not going to have a language early on. The baby is going to feel the isolation big time. I know that firsthand because I was raised orally and I don't like it abit. It is not fair for a deaf child to be denied access to sign language while a hearing child get that access and improve his/her language.

 

[shel90]

The baby is not going to have a language early on. The baby is going to feel the isolation big time. I know that firsthand because I was raised orally and I don't like it abit. It is not fair for a deaf child to be denied access to sign language while a hearing child get that access and improve his/her language.

I am with u on that one!

I understand how u feel cuz I went thru the same too. My hearing peers had access to the educational curriculm, debates, news over the loudspeaker, songs, and so much more while I had little or no access. Talk about inappropriate education and that definitely broke the educational laws. I wish I knew what I know back then because there would be a huge lawsuit over my rights to full access to language/education being denied.

 

[jillio]

I don't think they choose a common path because it's not really the interest of the child that they have in mind but more the interest of their agendas. Take that with a grain of salt because as I have said before, I am a cynical bastard.

Couldn't agree with you more. And that is the whole point.

 

[banshe333]

I have both deaf kids an a hearing child. and i honestly spend more time paying attention to my deaf childrens education than my hearing child's education. my reasons? because I know if i don't catch a problem with my hearing child's education, someone else will. there are so few people looking out for deaf students... its accually kind of sad...
and another point. I have NEVER had to fight to get a good education for a hearing child. you have to claw your way in to get a good education for the deaf it seems.

and parents that don't sign to their kids?
SHAME ON THEM!
all a child ever wants is their parent's attention. what better way than to have conversations about what bugs do and why flowers bloom?

 

[deafdyke]

nstead of actually accepting the fact that her baby is deaf, she always makes sure that the baby has his hearing aids on 24/7, exposes him to everything that's musical, tries to find information on why the baby is deaf so that she has something else to blame, does not use sign language (even though she knows sign language herself) to communicate a bit with the baby, etc.

Sounds like she got brainwashed by the Auditory-Verbal/ Audist/hearing impaired types. There's a site out there, Listen-Up, and it is SO filled with "dhh kids need to have speech and listening therapy 24/7" philosophy.
Have you talked with the parent? You could say something like " Hearing aids and being able to listen is important. I grew up that way and am happy that I can hear and have the abilty to hear and talk. But, what they don't tell you is that having an exclusive "oral and listening only" approach can have quite a bit of downsides. Yes, I know that they prolly have told you that things have changed.......but I see a lot of the same stuff happening to the young dhh kids of today. Definitly continue with the aids and other auditory stimulation things.....those will benifit your baby. I'm not one of those extremists who is all "dhh kids should only do ASL. Rather maybe it might make your baby's life easier if they had access to a full toolbox. I mean for example, with ASL they'll be able to function both with and without their hearing aids. You can also point out, that if he learns ASL, her baby will be BILINGAL!!!! (I just really find it really funny that the same parents who shirk away from ASL for their dhh kids, would be the first on the bandwagon to enroll their kids in a bilingal program)

 

[jillio]

I have both deaf kids an a hearing child. and i honestly spend more time paying attention to my deaf childrens education than my hearing child's education. my reasons? because I know if i don't catch a problem with my hearing child's education, someone else will. there are so few people looking out for deaf students... its accually kind of sad...
and another point. I have NEVER had to fight to get a good education for a hearing child. you have to claw your way in to get a good education for the deaf it seems.

and parents that don't sign to their kids?
SHAME ON THEM!
all a child ever wants is their parent's attention. what better way than to have conversations about what bugs do and why flowers bloom?

 

[jillio]

Sounds like she got brainwashed by the Auditory-Verbal/ Audist/hearing impaired types. There's a site out there, Listen-Up, and it is SO filled with "dhh kids need to have speech and listening therapy 24/7" philosophy.
Have you talked with the parent? You could say something like " Hearing aids and being able to listen is important. I grew up that way and am happy that I can hear and have the abilty to hear and talk. But, what they don't tell you is that having an exclusive "oral and listening only" approach can have quite a bit of downsides. Yes, I know that they prolly have told you that things have changed.......but I see a lot of the same stuff happening to the young dhh kids of today. Definitly continue with the aids and other auditory stimulation things.....those will benifit your baby. I'm not one of those extremists who is all "dhh kids should only do ASL. Rather maybe it might make your baby's life easier if they had access to a full toolbox. I mean for example, with ASL they'll be able to function both with and without their hearing aids. You can also point out, that if he learns ASL, her baby will be BILINGAL!!!! (I just really find it really funny that the same parents who shirk away from ASL for their dhh kids, would be the first on the bandwagon to enroll their kids in a bilingal program)

I have always found it interesting that hearing parents who refuse ASL for their deaf child will usually readily admit the advantages of being bilingual.....as long as bilingual means 2 spoken languages and does not include ASL.

 

[Interpretrator]

I have always found it interesting that hearing parents who refuse ASL for their deaf child will usually readily admit the advantages of being bilingual.....as long as bilingual means 2 spoken languages and does not include ASL.

Right, or baby sign is fine for hearing kids but don't teach ASL to deaf babies.

 

[faire_jour]

Sounds like she got brainwashed by the Auditory-Verbal/ Audist/hearing impaired types. There's a site out there, Listen-Up, and it is SO filled with "dhh kids need to have speech and listening therapy 24/7" philosophy.

I belong to that site! As a parent of a Deaf child you are told many things but you are NEVER told that your child will be just fine if they never learn to talk. I had to seek out Deaf adults and see for myself that Miss Kat will be just fine with ASL.
That being said, the reason I belong to that site and the reason I have chosen to give her hearing aids and do speech/listening therapy is because it never hurts to offer. I am giving her the opportunity to develop some oral skills, but ASL will probably always be her primary language.

 

[Interpretrator]

I am giving her the opportunity to develop some oral skills, but ASL will probably always be her primary language.

 

[shel90]

I belong to that site! As a parent of a Deaf child you are told many things but you are NEVER told that your child will be just fine if they never learn to talk. I had to seek out Deaf adults and see for myself that Miss Kat will be just fine with ASL.
That being said, the reason I belong to that site and the reason I have chosen to give her hearing aids and do speech/listening therapy is because it never hurts to offer. I am giving her the opportunity to develop some oral skills, but ASL will probably always be her primary language.

Nothing wrong with giving her an opportunity to develop oral skills. Important she has the full access to language for language development.

 

[jillio]

I think you have found a fan club, faire jour! (And 2 of us are hearing!)