Out of Control Kids: Ur Reaction?

rockin'robin

rockin'robin

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What do you do when faced with certain sticky situations?

What would you do if you witnessed someone committing adultery? Or heard someone making homophobic remarks?

Would you approach an obnoxious person talking loudly on a cell phone?

It's a quiet Saturday afternoon at a diner in Brooklyn, N.Y., but the tranquility is about to be shattered.

Suddenly from across the room, a paper airplane zooms through the air and lands on an unsuspecting diner's plate. At a nearby table, a pair of kids -- a boy and a girl -- are out of control, their oblivious father paying little attention, his ear glued to a cell phone.

As the minutes tick by, the kids get noisier. First, it's just clattering and whining, then the piercing sound of a toy flute.

Soon they are running around the tables, throwing shredded paper in the air, banging utensils on glasses, bickering and blowing kazoos.

The father continues to ignore them, and diners exchange glances, getting more and more annoyed and astonished by the minute.

Will anyone step up and say something? Does anyone object to the chaos?



Looking the Other Way
Nearly everyone has a story about kids who misbehave in a restaurant, but these cherubic-looking youngsters seem especially out of control. That's because they're actors, hired by "Primetime."

We've supplied the kids with noise-making instruments, asked the father to appear distracted, and instructed the children to behave badly.

Our goal is to see what these diners will do, and look at what might motivate them to either speak up, or stay seated even when they're annoyed.

What do you do when confronted with a situation such as this in a restaurant? Do you say something to the children or the parents? We were surprised by how many diners looked the other way as the children wreaked havoc around them.

Out of Control Kids: Your Reaction? - ABC News
 
I'd ask the waitress for some crayons and have the child sit down on the floor and draw on the paper menu. Sometimes a bit of intervention won't hurt.

It'd also draw attention to the parents of the child when they notice their child being too quiet. This is when the parents knows something is up when their child is too quiet for too long, they start to investigate and find their child drawing besides another adult.

A lesson learned sometimes is best than a confrontation.
 
Interesting Article.

I've seen some kids who are way out of control at a Restaurant. Before I make any assumption on other's behavior, I have to put myself in their place to see what happens because that has happened to me couple of times.

There are times that my autistic son would squirm or try to get into things at the restaurant. I'd have to do my best to contain him or try to keep him occupied while we wait for the food to be cooked, so and on. Most of the time both of my kids are well behaved. Once in a while that'd happen and you know, there are other diners that are looking at it differently.

If there was a case where the kids are behaving horribly at a restaurant like what the article states of, I probably would try to talk to the manager first and see what the manager can do about it. It's funny how we would say something but we also cannot actually confront the parent of the child/ren. In the article, Ironically it took a 6 years old kid to put other children in control. Who would have thought of that?
 
Not long ago, my sister & I went to Bulk Barn [a chain store in Canada] and my sister interpreted for me what was overheard. An older man apparently "touched" a boy for sampling the candies.

A mother was hollering at the older man for touching her sons. The older man was telling the boys not to touch and sample the food. What happened with the touching, we don't know but it was quite a spectacle to the point where the other customers were in a hurry to fill up their dry goods and get out of the store.

Confrontation is never a good thing.
 
I've always told my boys "you can look, but don't touch"!....If you break it, pay for it. If I were a store owner, I would not want kids touching or tearing up things in my store. I would kindly ask the parent(s) to please control their children. The old man was wrong for "touching" the child, probably didn't know any better since child-rearing these days is a lot different than the old days.

At restaurants, whenever we can afford to go out, I would like to enjoy my meal. Unruly kids, crying babies, throwing food, etc., upsets me too! And I would not hesitate to tell the manager to give us another table!

Once at Walmart, when my son was 10, he started playing "tag" and bouncing big rubber balls in the aisles. I made him get into the cart (buggy) everytime we went back to Walmart and that broke him.

It's hard to shop with small kids. And some parents let them run wild in the store.
 
I'd calmly go up to the parent and explain to them that I paid xx amount of money to sit down and have a meal and if they don't control their kids, I would call Child Services and report them for not keeping their kids under control.
 
BradB08 said:
I'd calmly go up to the parent and explain to them that I paid xx amount of money to sit down and have a meal and if they don't control their kids, I would call Child Services and report them for not keeping their kids under control.
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Gee. That's a good way to get a broken nose and a black eye.
 
Exactly! Don't be too quick to call Children's Services.

What if the child has autism & struggles to deal with 100 things going on all at once? To other people, it seems like the child is acting out but to the child, he/she is expressing the frustrating he/she is going through. It is not easy being autistic.

What if the child has a pervasive developmental disorder and any odd noises triggers the child? To tell a PDD child to sit still isn't appropriate.

The very last thing an adult should ever tell another parent to control their kids. Kids are never meant to be controlled. Children are meant to be encouraged and to control a child is to control an animal. Animals are controlled, not children.

We all must adapt ourselves in situations because we are adults and to tell children to behave, sit down and be quiet when we don't know their history is just as bad as spanking them when you're not their parents.

It's called "crossing the lines" and overstepping your boundaries. Respect the parents and allow the parents to do their responsibilities.
 
Mrs Bucket said:
Exactly! Don't be too quick to call Children's Services.

What if the child has autism & struggles to deal with 100 things going on all at once? To other people, it seems like the child is acting out but to the child, he/she is expressing the frustrating he/she is going through. It is not easy being autistic.

What if the child has a pervasive developmental disorder and any odd noises triggers the child? To tell a PDD child to sit still isn't appropriate.

The very last thing an adult should ever tell another parent to control their kids. Kids are never meant to be controlled. Children are meant to be encouraged and to control a child is to control an animal. Animals are controlled, not children.

We all must adapt ourselves in situations because we are adults and to tell children to behave, sit down and be quiet when we don't know their history is just as bad as spanking them when you're not their parents.

It's called "crossing the lines" and overstepping your boundaries. Respect the parents and allow the parents to do their responsibilities.
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:gpost:

That's my sentiments, exactly.

That is why I try to keep the restaurant outing at a minimum because when I take my autistic son with me, I often get a weird look from other diners and it tends to put me in a place where I try not to show that I'm a bit uncomfortable by that.

Most of the time my autistic son is well behaved at restaurants but once in a while, there would be an "off" day where he will try to get into things such as getting into the salt/pepper shakers, or whatanot.

So, Before I judge others - I always put myself in their place to get the gist of the idea before making an confrontation.
 
Other people may not understand why an autistic child may want to reorganise all the salt/pepper shakers in the restaurant but to that autistic child, it makes everything much better for him/her.

For us, it's nothing but for the child it's chaos. It's scattering to him/her to have things out of place so they reorganise things to make things less chaotic and ironically people perceive that as misbehaving. It's tragic that some people cannot take time out of their busy lifestyle to show compassion & learn more about other people.
 
Mrs Bucket said:
Other people may not understand why an autistic child may want to reorganise all the salt/pepper shakers in the restaurant but to that autistic child, it makes everything much better for him/her.

For us, it's nothing but for the child it's chaos. It's scattering to him/her to have things out of place so they reorganise things to make things less chaotic and ironically people perceive that as misbehaving. It's tragic that some people cannot take time out of their busy lifestyle to show compassion & learn more about other people.
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Exactly. And what does it actually hurt to rearrange all of the salt and pepper shakers. What form of catastrophe does that create, I ask?
 
I can understand kids misbehaving at fast food restaurants. I can deal with that. But going out to a nice, expensive restaurant is different.

And at movie theatres, one thing that gets my gander up is kids kicking the seat behind me or throwing popcorn, etc.

I don't "control" my kids. I just teach them manners. They do enuf sloppy eating at home, laughing and being loud. They are not autistic. But if they were, they would sit right beside me and it would be up to me to deal with their issues. Playing with the salt & pepper is juvenile, compared to throwing food, yelling, running up and down the aisle or bothering other patrons.
 
Mrs Bucket said:
Other people may not understand why an autistic child may want to reorganise all the salt/pepper shakers in the restaurant but to that autistic child, it makes everything much better for him/her.

For us, it's nothing but for the child it's chaos. It's scattering to him/her to have things out of place so they reorganise things to make things less chaotic and ironically people perceive that as misbehaving. It's tragic that some people cannot take time out of their busy lifestyle to show compassion & learn more about other people.
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There was a thread about an autistic boy who got kicked out of church cuz his mother couldnt control him. Made for very interesting debate.

As for the subject, if kids were so out of control that it was disturbing the peace in the restaurant, then I would speak with the manager. If nothing is done, I will leave and find another restaurant.

When my son was at the stage when he was rebelling against sitting down while eating..just after he started walking, I limited our restaurant outings. Not worth trying to control a screaming child.
 
jillio said:
Exactly. And what does it actually hurt to rearrange all of the salt and pepper shakers. What form of catastrophe does that create, I ask?
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Apparently for some uptight parents that don't want their good children to be influenced by those "bad-behaved" children.

It saddens me, you see, I don't have children yet my uterus kicks each time I see a small child kissing another child's boo-boo. I go "Ohh, how sweet!" Naturally it takes a lot to be a parent and I realise that and I give a lot of credit to parents who struggle with children with learning & behavioural problems.

I wince when I see other parents feel free to criticise others because they did right by their own children. You know the famous quote.. "It takes a village to raise a child."

I feel it takes a child to educate a village these days.
 
Mrs Bucket said:
Apparently for some uptight parents that don't want their good children to be influenced by those "bad-behaved" children.

It saddens me, you see, I don't have children yet my uterus kicks each time I see a small child kissing another child's boo-boo. I go "Ohh, how sweet!" Naturally it takes a lot to be a parent and I realise that and I give a lot of credit to parents who struggle with children with learning & behavioural problems.

I wince when I see other parents feel free to criticise others because they did right by their own children. You know the famous quote.. "It takes a village to raise a child."

I feel it takes a child to educate a village these days.
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It pisses me off at no end when other people criticize the way I handle my children. I just tell them to kindly back off.
 
I agree wholeheartedly with Jolie77.

You can't expect kids to be perfect little ladies and gentleman and be well behaved in public. Younger generation have a lot of energies, They don't shared the same manners as matured teens do. You can't expect a two years old, or 4 years old or 8 years old to sit still at a restaurant or anywhere out in public.

If parents just allow their child to run around making noises and do what they like and parents do absolutely nothing, then that bad parenting role, but if parents are trying their very best to keep their child under control, then that's good parenting role.

Parenting is hard work, there's no instruction for parents being parents when their children are born, children get in their faces, they make a mess, they scream, they whine, etc. Parents walked through it all, so my question is why criticized them?
 
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