"Oh, you speak so well!" and other annoying comments

oakbluffs said:
Another thing I hate is when someone asks "Do you understand whay I just said?" I replied yes and he goes "What did I say?"
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lol, well it kind of depends on who is asking that. When I listen to people like bosses, people giving instructions/directions/important information, I get mad, because it's like they are saying that I'm lazy/too stupid to ask them to repeat/clarify. I will be honest though. At work I never had this happen to me. They knew I was not shy about asking. Also I tend to repeat what I hear anyway at points for clarification to ALL listening. This habit was picked up, even before I started losing my hearing, because my HOH family did this also.

BUT with friends and family it's different. They know how exhausting it can be for me to listen sometimes, and know sometimes there comes a point where I will just nod and try to mimic the appropriate facial things. I have one friend who doesn't realize this, thankfully. He's great, but damn some of the things he talks about are so irrelevant/boring. I don't have the freaking brain energy to waste sometimes (we see each other when there is many other intestesting people to talk to also)
 
shel90 said:
Most of the time the people who say that dont intend to be patronizing or condesending. Just the problem that it happens so often and I get tired and annoyed by it even though I know it wasnt meant to insult me. At least we can look back and laugh about them. :)
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I agree. I have had some interesting conversations with strangers. They just seemed shocked that they are meeting someone who is deaf/hoh (lol, which is funny I live in Florida, the land of people who don't want to admit they are getting old and get hear as well as before). They at first come across as ignorant, but curious. Take it and run with it if happens and you have time. When this has happened to me I've always left with the feeling that they learned something, saw something in a different light, etc. I've even made a couple of great friends doing this.
 
SpiceHD said:
have anybody ever tells u that u speak better with hearing aid/cochlear implant?

i have all the time and finally someone told me the truth... as hearing aid/cochlear implant may help me be more careful with how i speak... it actually just sound same. just more slower. interesting...
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Well I Know when I'm wearing my aids I realize how loud I'm talking! My family also. When I put them in I have to warn everyone "talk softer", or my brain will explode!
 
That's funny when I went into bar, I hold my beer and dance to follow DJ rhythem to enjoy the environment. This girl came up to my ear and I show her my gentured that I cannot hear. I said, " I cannot hear coz I'm Deaf." She was amazed and replied," Oh my god, you can talk very well."

I took out the pen and napkin and wrote," Thanks but you can't talk very well." She was shocked. I wrote," Hello, just kidding, remember I'm Deaf and cannot hear your voice."
 
ecp said:
I hate that comment. I get it all the time and after a while I feel like I should just stop concentrating on pronuncing things well (it takes a lot of effort) and just talk. Or even sign. But nobody would understand me.
I feel like when hearing people tell me that I speak well it is either a way of them telling me that I must not be too deaf or it is a condescending way of patting me on the back for trying to squeeze my square voice into the proverbial round hole.
Another annoying comment is "Oh, you aren't deaf enough to need an interpreter"
I have severe hearing loss that drops a few decibles a year. I understand 65 to 70% of speech at 90db which means that if someone is shouting in my ear, I will get the basic idea of what they are saying. I went to a signing elementary/middle school so I am more than comfortable with ASL. In fact, I'm more comfortable with ASL because it is so much less stressful.
What makes someone "Deaf enough"?
I have met some Deaf people who consider me hearing because I go to a hearing college. These people don't seem to understand that though I don't go to Gally or NTID I'm still part of Deaf culture. (Though, I'm not too involved in the D/deaf community because I often feel like many people divide the world into Us and Them based solely on appearance).

One last thing, my audiologist didn't give me a color choice with my last set of BTEs. He choose blonde to blend into my hair but I really wanted blue! He thought I would want to hide my BTEs but I would rather people see my (pretty blue) hearing aids and know that I may not hear them than have people think I'm just stupid when I ask them to repeat themselves.

Ok, that is my rant for the year. Anybody else annoyed by this?
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Hello ECP,

You are educating me. I learned of this alldeaf through a class I am taking in special education. Your observations show anyone how to begin to understand your challenge. Thank you!

Safarijane
 
Some of the comments/questions I've received from strangers include:

When I was hard of hearing: "You're hard of hearing? You seem to hear me just fine."

After I lost my hearing: "You can't be deaf. You don't sound deaf."

"You can't be deafblind. Deafblind people can't talk."

"You can't be totally blind. You get around so well."

"How can you know sign language if you're blind?"

"Does someone dress you in the morning?"

"Who takes care of you? Do you live with your parents?"

"Can you dial a phone?"

"Can you read?"

"Do you watch TV or go to the movies?"

"What do you do all day if you can't see and hear?"

"How do you travel independently if you can't see and hear?"

"Can/how do you use a computer?"

I can understand why people ask some of these questions (i.e. "How do you travel independently if you can't see and hear?," "Can/how do you use a computer?") but not other questions -- particularly those that are blunt. However, I always do my best to smile and answer with a polite response -- as difficult as it is some days -- especially when it seems that I've answered the same question 100 times :).
 
Hear Again said:
Some of the comments/questions I've received from strangers include:

When I was hard of hearing: "You're hard of hearing? You seem to hear me just fine."

After I lost my hearing: "You can't be deaf. You don't sound deaf."

"You can't be deafblind. Deafblind people can't talk."

"You can't be totally blind. You get around so well."

"How can you know sign language if you're blind?"

"Does someone dress you in the morning?"

"Who takes care of you? Do you live with your parents?"

"Can you dial a phone?"

"Can you read?"

"Do you watch TV or go to the movies?"

"What do you do all day if you can't see and hear?"

"How do you travel independently if you can't see and hear?"

"Can/how do you use a computer?"

I can understand why people ask some of these questions (i.e. "How do you travel independently if you can't see and hear?," "Can/how do you use a computer?") but not other questions -- particularly those that are blunt. However, I always do my best to smile and answer with a polite response -- as difficult as it is some days -- especially when it seems that I've answered the same question 100 times :).
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I gotta admit when I first got involved in the Deaf community, I started encountering people who were deaf and blind and those kinds of questions did pop into my head. However, I didnt ask them but got to know the individuals instead and learned from them through interacting with them. My former boss at Gallaudet is deaf and blind himself and we worked so well together. :)
 
Shel,

Getting to know someone is the best approach to take. :)

Several of my friends have told me how much they learned by observing me at home and in other environments. (For example, one of my friends didn't know I could operate a stove or microwave by using Braille labels.)

If you don't mind my asking, was your boss named Art Roehrig (sp)? (You can send me a PM if you don't want to answer here.) If so, I had the pleasure of communicating with him when I considered attending Gallaudet in 1995. :)
 
Hear Again said:
Shel,

Getting to know someone is the best approach to take. :)

Several of my friends have told me how much they learned by observing me at home and in other environments. (For example, one of my friends didn't know I could operate a stove or microwave by using Braille labels.)

If you don't mind my asking, was your boss named Art Roehrig (sp)? (You can send me a PM if you don't want to answer here.) If so, I had the pleasure of communicating with him when I considered attending Gallaudet in 1995. :)
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Yep...Art Roehrig was my former boss. Such a sweet man! Very independent. :)
 
Cool! :) I wish I could have met Art in person. He seemed so nice and helpful -- and answered all of my questions about Gallaudet. :)
 
Hear Again said:
Cool! :) I wish I could have met Art in person. He seemed so nice and helpful -- and answered all of my questions about Gallaudet. Do you know what Art is doing these days?
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Yea, he still works at OSWD at Gallaudet as a counselor. I dont know about his personal life cuz he always kept that at home when at work. He is very professional. I havent seen him in a year cuz I dont go to Gally much anymore due to being busy with my job and personal life. Baltimore and DC might as well as be on different worlds!
 
pek1 said:
I was almost asleep when I read this and I nearly spewed all the pop I've been drinking all over the keyboard.:h5::laugh2: This is so funny!!! Have you ever laughed so hard that you passed gas?:fart:

By the way, that phrase can be found here: Christmas Vacation Movie Wavs Sounds Movie Quotes Movie Sound Clips Read the comments, they're a gas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the laugh!!!
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You are most welcome. BTW, never knew the phrase had been publicised! Enjoyed that one as well.
 
I get the question ''What country are you from?'' or ''Where you from?'' often enough that it makes me think my accent is more foriegn sounding than deaf sounding. . . . .

I'm dirty blond and blue eyed so most people guess eastern europe (Cleveland has a large eastern european population) if they guess.

On occassion, people will get it right and start signing to me, which I unfortantly don't know a lick of (other than mom, dad, thank you and you're welcome)

I find it more annoying when people say that I'm an inspiration or that they'd never be able to do what I did with spoken language then when they compliment my speech. I aint nobodies inspiration, and I don't want to be one!
 
I'm one of the future educators who has invaded the message boards in the last week or two as part of our learning experience.
I will be an intervention specialist in about a year, and will be educating children with a variety of special needs.
This thread, more than some of the others, has given me some insight on the frustration many of you deal with on a daily basis. I wish I could apologize for the hearing, clueless community.
I think people are often just trying to be interested or kind, and they come off sounding uninformed (which they are about this particular issue).
Thanks for giving me some insight.
(I'm still laughing about the question to the boyfriend about his girlfriend's ability to have sex. WTH...)
 
You lipread so well!!

Grrr... I hate that comment cos the only lipreading I am skilled in is between the sheets with a girl of my dreams...
 
1. Hearies telling me to turn my hearing aids up or even on when I haven't heard something.

2. (Not really offensive, this one, but dumb and a bit funny too):

My right earmold rubs me sometimes in the hot weather - hurts a bit - we all get this sometimes. The woman next to me at work said could I maybe put a ball of cotton wool in my ear THEN put my aid in, and it wouldn't rub me any more....

How, I thought, exactly would that work LOL!
 
LOL thats a first for me.

speaking of aids I may be getting one soon - but still in the shopping around for the best aid for me phase....
 
Ha ha, that's a new one to me too, Kimeran! I'm glad I don't have to wear ear molds anymore. :D
 
Serendipity said:
Here's another one.

for instance, I just told that person that I couldn't hear hence the term deaf. He or she went like, oh? You can't drive, right?

Then I went like, oh like this *takes my drivers license out of my wallet* and how is that for an answer?
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Good move, Serendipity!

But imgaine, if someone asks you are you a Police officer, no wonder they let deaf people work for the PD

Someone would do the same in the way they show the driver's licence, but instead, showing them the PD badge and arresting them for no reason LOL :deal:
 
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