Observation

[Miss-Delectable]

I haven't been actively involved in this forum for a while and it is because of some members' superior attitudes towards the Deaf Community here. It sickens me.

I won't name any names and it's not allowed anyhow. Those people know who I am talking about.

I find it terribly sad that a hearing mother of a Deaf child with a CI has to spend a lot of her time boasting about her child's accomplishments to the point she is gloating when she can spend the same amount of time with her daughter.

It was at a time I mentioned to her when she spent over 12 hours in this forum in a panic-mode replying to threads, creating threads and so on. I made the comment to her where her daughter was and if she had been paying attention to her daughter as well. Apparently some hard-core patterns are so ingrained, they just don't realise the damage they inflect upon others.

Research is not meant to be used for back-pedalling retorts, "in your face" evidence, it's meant to help us with the past-present-future.

I learned about research in college and it is a LOT of work, it's made me appreciate the researchers' position when they dedicate their time and energy into researching.

Please remember when you are stepping into the Deaf Community, there are long-standing unspoken courtesies meant to be respected. Stepping over your boundaries here makes you instantly our frenemy. Trust is so easy to lose YET so hard to gain.

Now some of you wonder why we are just so hesitant to even take your word, it's because your hearing community abused us over and over. A vicious cycle that jillio, an honourary Deafie, is trying to break yet you have others who just replies right next to her over and over again which makes a lot of us wary of the hearing community.

This thread started with research via jillio's opinion and experience only to have a certain member projecting her issues again and again.

Please.. stop. It's getting cumbersome. This is our community; Deaf community. Respect it or leave it.

Right on, Mrs Bucket! Was thinking somewhat along that line, too. Thanks for being blunt.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

Being blunt is necessary as I'm tired of seeing our Deaf community being disrespected over and over again just for the ignorant hearing member's satiety.

It is very insulting to me as a human being. Watching how a hearing person continuously put down my community, even if it is just one person, you put down a Deaf person, you put down the whole community.

To me, the Deaf Community is a family, an united front and to put us down emotionally, psychologically, socially, aurally and mentally is just as bad as kicking us down physically.

It's bad enough that some people feel the need to hide behind a computer screen yet their true colours STILL show behind their words. It ceases to amaze me how much sheer ignorance still exists these days after so much human rights movement has gone through several hundred decades yet my Deaf community still has to fight to be seen on the same equal level as the hearing community.

Why is this? It is because of the ignorance and those people that knows it, they harbor ignorance in the name of educating us about CIs.

I've already said it once, please respect us and if you can't. Just go away. We were already doing just fine without you and your kind.

 

[jillio]

jillo, stop knowing so much about my life! It's funny thou. I have a more complicated syndrome, and I KNOW my parents think that my social emotional issues are due to the syndrome. But the more I read about deaf ed research, the more I reconize myself. I actually want to write a literary journalism book like Savage Inequalities (the book about how crappy inner city education is) about special ed in the mainstream. It does seem like the ONLY reason why mainstreaming is even popular is b/c mainstream schools get extra money from the kids. They can give a kid minimal accomodnations and that is just fine and dandy for their compliance with the law. They don't generally give a shit about the education a disabled kid gets...after all (sarcasm) they're just going to end up on disabilty(/sarcasm) Things have NOT changed sadly. I mean it's pretty much a fact that if you're a solotaire you get "Resource Room" style sped accomondations. Unless you're a superstar and thrive with minimal accomondaitons, you get lumped in with kids who are mostly learning and behavorial sped. That really is a MAJOR MAJOR reason why mainstreaming hasn't worked well. Some kids have done well yes..(which is why I am a HUGE fan of continuum of placement) but overall, most solotaire mainstreamed kids fall through the cracks!
Also, good post Mrs. Bucket. Very good. I do have to add that the poster seems to be very anxious about her child's sucess. That is ANOTHER reason why I think oral only is not good. It preys too much on a parent's anxiety and adds too much to it. We KNOW the anxiety that parents have.
Agreed on both counts. You are hoh, but you seem to idenitfy more as HLAA style hoh rather then "best of both worlds hoh" Heck, I think I'd even call you hearing impaired.

LOL! Put that aluminum foil hat on...I'm reading your thoughts!

I say go for it. I've read some on your writing in On The Fence. I know you have the skills to handle it.

 

[jillio]

Being blunt is necessary as I'm tired of seeing our Deaf community being disrespected over and over again just for the ignorant hearing member's satiety.

It is very insulting to me as a human being. Watching how a hearing person continuously put down my community, even if it is just one person, you put down a Deaf person, you put down the whole community.

To me, the Deaf Community is a family, an united front and to put us down emotionally, psychologically, socially, aurally and mentally is just as bad as kicking us down physically.

It's bad enough that some people feel the need to hide behind a computer screen yet their true colours STILL show behind their words. It ceases to amaze me how much sheer ignorance still exists these days after so much human rights movement has gone through several hundred decades yet my Deaf community still has to fight to be seen on the same equal level as the hearing community.

Why is this? It is because of the ignorance and those people that knows it, they harbor ignorance in the name of educating us about CIs.

I've already said it once, please respect us and if you can't. Just go away. We were already doing just fine without you and your kind.

Agreed 110%. I have said before that if I don't speak up when I see such things, I am essentially turning my back on my son because that community is where he belongs. Insult a member of that community, and in my eyes, you are insulting my son and everything and everyone he holds dear.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

Agreed 110%. I have said before that if I don't speak up when I see such things, I am essentially turning my back on my son because that community is where he belongs. Insult a member of that community, and in my eyes, you are insulting my son and everything and everyone he holds dear.

Right on.

You can only turn a blind eye for so long until you're tripping over your own ignorance.

 

[LinuxGold]

I am sure everyone would agree that this discussion would also apply to the majority of the WHOLE children in general. Please note that I am talking about hearing and more capable children, not just deaf children. Our current education is spiraling down to the level that we find so alarming. I have encountered few bosses in my past employment that do not possess appropriate literature to communicate effectively with employees in emails or business letters and some of us as deaf individual would laugh at their educational inferiority.

Naturally it would be inappropriate to go for the defensive "That is wrong, because my child..." when comparing to the majority of whole children in general. Since they are spiraling down, who are they to tell the majority of deaf children otherwise? There is definitely a break down somewhere in the roots that proceed into the majority of children that are becoming a problem for our nation.

In my opinion it is the family values that are HUGELY neglected. Parents in today's society are ignoring their children's needs and pay attention to other things that are not important than their own children i.e. hobbies, drugs or what have you. If they spent more time with their own children, then this educational decay would not occur at the first place, which also includes the majority of deaf children as we are currently discussing.

Now, once when parent's attention is tuned into their own children with earnest with determination to effectively communicate and raise them appropriately, then their educational levels will automatically soar to level that would be beyond what we could imagine! This also applies to the majority of deaf children as a whole.

 

[jillio]

I am sure everyone would agree that this discussion would also apply to the majority of the WHOLE children in general. Please note that I am talking about hearing and more capable children, not just deaf children. Our current education is spiraling down to the level that we find so alarming. I have encountered few bosses in my past employment that do not possess appropriate literature to communicate effectively with employees in emails or business letters and some of us as deaf individual would laugh at their educational inferiority.

Naturally it would be inappropriate to go for the defensive "That is wrong, because my child..." when comparing to the majority of whole children in general. Since they are spiraling down, who are they to tell the majority of deaf children otherwise? There is definitely a break down somewhere in the roots that proceed into the majority of children that are becoming a problem for our nation.

In my opinion it is the family values that are HUGELY neglected. Parents in today's society are ignoring their children's needs and pay attention to other things that are not important than their own children i.e. hobbies, drugs or what have you. If they spent more time with their own children, then this educational decay would not occur at the first place, which also includes the majority of deaf children as we are currently discussing.

Now, once when parent's attention is tuned into their own children with earnest with determination to effectively communicate and raise them appropriately, then their educational levels will automatically soar to level that would be beyond what we could imagine! This also applies to the majority of deaf children as a whole.

I can't find a thing to disagree with in this.

 

[faire_jour]

Being blunt is necessary as I'm tired of seeing our Deaf community being disrespected over and over again just for the ignorant hearing member's satiety.

It is very insulting to me as a human being. Watching how a hearing person continuously put down my community, even if it is just one person, you put down a Deaf person, you put down the whole community.

To me, the Deaf Community is a family, an united front and to put us down emotionally, psychologically, socially, aurally and mentally is just as bad as kicking us down physically.

It's bad enough that some people feel the need to hide behind a computer screen yet their true colours STILL show behind their words. It ceases to amaze me how much sheer ignorance still exists these days after so much human rights movement has gone through several hundred decades yet my Deaf community still has to fight to be seen on the same equal level as the hearing community.

Why is this? It is because of the ignorance and those people that knows it, they harbor ignorance in the name of educating us about CIs.

I've already said it once, please respect us and if you can't. Just go away. We were already doing just fine without you and your kind.

So, as a parent of a Deaf child, I must endure the hate spewed at me every day by ignorant and hate-filled Deaf people, and say nothing, because they are Deaf? If I stand up for my child, I am insulting ALL Deaf people? When smeone tells me that he hopes my child is brain damaged by her CI, that is fine? I must accept it? Because he is Deaf? I must respect his opinion?

So, if there is only Deaf and hearing, and if one insults a single person, you insult the entire community, what are we supposed to think of the hundreds of threads talking about how awful hearing people are?

 

[shel90]

I am sure everyone would agree that this discussion would also apply to the majority of the WHOLE children in general. Please note that I am talking about hearing and more capable children, not just deaf children. Our current education is spiraling down to the level that we find so alarming. I have encountered few bosses in my past employment that do not possess appropriate literature to communicate effectively with employees in emails or business letters and some of us as deaf individual would laugh at their educational inferiority.

Naturally it would be inappropriate to go for the defensive "That is wrong, because my child..." when comparing to the majority of whole children in general. Since they are spiraling down, who are they to tell the majority of deaf children otherwise? There is definitely a break down somewhere in the roots that proceed into the majority of children that are becoming a problem for our nation.

In my opinion it is the family values that are HUGELY neglected. Parents in today's society are ignoring their children's needs and pay attention to other things that are not important than their own children i.e. hobbies, drugs or what have you. If they spent more time with their own children, then this educational decay would not occur at the first place, which also includes the majority of deaf children as we are currently discussing.

Now, once when parent's attention is tuned into their own children with earnest with determination to effectively communicate and raise them appropriately, then their educational levels will automatically soar to level that would be beyond what we could imagine! This also applies to the majority of deaf children as a whole.

Not only that education is spiraling down, budget cuts are affecting the quality of education so I would be very very concerned about mainstreaming any deaf child right now.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

So, as a parent of a Deaf child, I must endure the hate spewed at me every day by ignorant and hate-filled Deaf people, and say nothing, because they are Deaf?

You need to learn how to accept what comes with the environment. You cannot always think of YOUR own feelings because your daughter's feelings comes FIRST before you. The world doesn't revolve around you and your feelings, honey. **Newsflash**, it's not about you. Wake up and get with the program.

So, if there is only Deaf and hearing, and if one insults a single person, you insult the entire community, what are we supposed to think of the hundreds of threads talking about how awful hearing people are?

Now my dear, you understand decades of abuse we went through. How do you think we feel growing up? Again, *Newsflash*, it's not about you honey or your feelings! Get with the program...

 

[LinuxGold]

So, as a parent of a Deaf child, I must endure the hate spewed at me every day by ignorant and hate-filled Deaf people, and say nothing, because they are Deaf? If I stand up for my child, I am insulting ALL Deaf people? When smeone tells me that he hopes my child is brain damaged by her CI, that is fine? I must accept it? Because he is Deaf? I must respect his opinion?

So, if there is only Deaf and hearing, and if one insults a single person, you insult the entire community, what are we supposed to think of the hundreds of threads talking about how awful hearing people are?

fiare_jour:

Keep in mind when they read things, they tend to be single-minded in a certain point of view making hearing people to look like they are awful people. For example they might think of this way they might generalize like this, "If CI is implemented, then ALL OTHER accommodations are DENIED regardless." They tend to be on defensive ASSUMING that you deny addition accommodation to your child, making things hard for your child to go through transitions.

I am sure, of course, that if CI do fail, you would want to try other accommodation to assist with CI transition, would you?

 

[LinuxGold]

Not only that education is spiraling down, budget cuts are affecting the quality of education so I would be very very concerned about mainstreaming any deaf child right now.

I would agree that budget cuts also effect the quality of education. With parental involvement, I am sure their children will find ways to educate themselves, being inspired with how much we pay attention to them, like I did.

 

[jillio]

You need to learn how to accept what comes with the environment. You cannot always think of YOUR own feelings because your daughter's feelings comes FIRST before you. The world doesn't revolve around you and your feelings, honey. **Newsflash**, it's not about you. Wake up and get with the program.



Now my dear, you understand decades of abuse we went through. How do you think we feel growing up? Again, *Newsflash*, it's not about you honey or your feelings! Get with the program...

 

[jillio]

I would agree that budget cuts also effect the quality of education. With parental involvement, I am sure their children will find ways to educate themselves, being inspired with how much we pay attention to them, like I did.

Unfortuantely, parental involvement is getting to be less and less. Part of the reason is the financial climate. So many parents have to have 2 incomes, and that means more work hours, less time for the kids. The enrollment in latch key programs has steadily increased over the last 10 years or so.

 

[shel90]

I would agree that budget cuts also effect the quality of education. With parental involvement, I am sure their children will find ways to educate themselves, being inspired with how much we pay attention to them, like I did.

True but I am seeing more and more children come from households where there is only one parent, the parents work odd hours, or they are being raised by their grandparents. I am seeing less and less parental involvement with the kids I work with than I did 10 years ago.

 

[LinuxGold]

Unfortuantely, parental involvement is getting to be less and less. Part of the reason is the financial climate. So many parents have to have 2 incomes, and that means more work hours, less time for the kids. The enrollment in latch key programs has steadily increased over the last 10 years or so.

My parents spent as little as 30 minutes with me each day, that was enough BOOST for me to stay educationally motivated. I am sure that they can find somewhere to sacrifice 15 to 30 minutes of their OWN idle time to become involved. And something as simple as "How did you like the book that you have been reading? Can you tell me what it was about? Yeah? Wow, I should read that book sometime! I remembered back when I was a teenager, reading a book about....." It might seem futile to you, but a world to them. Adjust yourself to your child's comfort, find buzz and stick to them, as little as 5 minutes to hours during weekdays or on weekend.

I am sure they will find a time between 2 incomes.

 

[shel90]

My parents spent as little as 30 minutes with me each day, that was enough BOOST for me to stay educationally motivated. I am sure that they can find somewhere to sacrifice 15 to 30 minutes of their OWN idle time to become involved. And something as simple as "How did you like the book that you have been reading? Can you tell me what it was about? Yeah? Wow, I should read that book sometime! I remembered back when I was a teenager, reading a book about....." It might seem futile to you, but a world to them. Adjust yourself to your child's comfort, find buzz and stick to them, as little as 5 minutes to hours during weekdays or on weekend.

I am sure they will find a time between 2 incomes.

I can make that suggestion to some of my students' parents. I just wish they would take the time to learn their children's language.

 

[LinuxGold]

I can make that suggestion to some of my students' parents. I just wish they would take the time to learn their children's language.

EXACTLY, their children's language that they are comfortable with, then advance them in language that we use and infuse them together. Some or most deaf children are bilingual, it's difficult position to be in.

 

[shel90]

EXACTLY, their children's language that they are comfortable with, then advance them in language that we use and infuse them together. Some or most deaf children are bilingual, it's difficult position to be in.

Most of them say that learning ASL is too hard for them, they dont have time, their child should learn to speak so they wont learn ASL, and many more reasons. I cant twist their arms to make them learn ASL.

 

[jillio]

My parents spent as little as 30 minutes with me each day, that was enough BOOST for me to stay educationally motivated. I am sure that they can find somewhere to sacrifice 15 to 30 minutes of their OWN idle time to become involved. And something as simple as "How did you like the book that you have been reading? Can you tell me what it was about? Yeah? Wow, I should read that book sometime! I remembered back when I was a teenager, reading a book about....." It might seem futile to you, but a world to them. Adjust yourself to your child's comfort, find buzz and stick to them, as little as 5 minutes to hours during weekdays or on weekend.

I am sure they will find a time between 2 incomes.

I agree with you completely. 15 minutes of quality time goes a long way. I am currently helping my nephew raise his 10 year old daughter, and my first question every night when I come home is, "How was your day? What did you do in school today?" That always sparks a discussion. I also suggest books to her that I read as a kid.

Unfortunately, I am just not seeing parents doing a lot of that anymore.