Not know what name this...

rockin'robin said:
Good idea, to go back in front of the Judge, and and ask for the Injunction/restraining order to be made "Permanent"....I did that and still have my copy, many years ago!.....
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I still have mine too... :)
 
At the same time, be careful about putting too much trust in a restraining order. A guy who hits you, hurts you, leaves bruises, cuts, broken bones - this guy is going to pay attention to a sheet of paper telling him to stay away??

People violate restraining orders every day of the week. It's fine to have one, but think about practical measures to provide for your own safety, too.
 
Beach girl said:
At the same time, be careful about putting too much trust in a restraining order. A guy who hits you, hurts you, leaves bruises, cuts, broken bones - this guy is going to pay attention to a sheet of paper telling him to stay away??

People violate restraining orders every day of the week. It's fine to have one, but think about practical measures to provide for your own safety, too.
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Personally, I think a judge should have the option to order an abuser to pay for a security alarm system and bodyguards. :mad:
 
Beach girl said:
At the same time, be careful about putting too much trust in a restraining order. A guy who hits you, hurts you, leaves bruises, cuts, broken bones - this guy is going to pay attention to a sheet of paper telling him to stay away??

People violate restraining orders every day of the week. It's fine to have one, but think about practical measures to provide for your own safety, too.
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He is currently in jail. He can't violate a restraining order from there, except to call from the jail phone.
 
Beach girl said:
At the same time, be careful about putting too much trust in a restraining order. A guy who hits you, hurts you, leaves bruises, cuts, broken bones - this guy is going to pay attention to a sheet of paper telling him to stay away??

People violate restraining orders every day of the week. It's fine to have one, but think about practical measures to provide for your own safety, too.
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Excellent point there. I used to live in Charlotte NC and one day I came back home from class and saw a bunch of cops on one side of my apt complex. According to the paper the next day, a Mexican woman was murdered at my apt complex and she had a restraining order against her ex husband as well. He was arrested for her murder.
 
It amazes me how family is often the last to know about a family members problems or bevior issues. Not too surprising that his mother posted bail.
 
Beach girl said:
My goodness. :eek3:

I'm really sorry to hear that. If you felt so slighted by your parents, it's much more understandable that you would turn to someone like Dallas.

How is your relationship with them and with your sister now? Sounds like your sister really looks after you, in a good way.
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OMG yes! Sunny, I wonder if you just had crappy realtionship with parents, and you were looking for somethign more with Dallas.....totally understood. Like you grew up togehter and felt close but when bad stuff cropped up, you thought it was just price to pay. " at least I have him. he's not bad person ALL time right? i wonder....do you have a degree yet? Maybe you could come to the states to NTID or Gally or SWID and meet other dhh kids to have realtionships with! There are healthy amazing relationships out there.....you just need to meet other kids like you!
 
I was not surprised either....parents should always stand behind their children. It's possible Dallas' parents did not know of the abuse?....If Dallas was a chronic abuser, and his parents have repeatedly bailed him out of trouble, then I feel they are doing the wrong thing!...But if this was the first time, then the parents' should try every avenue they can to try to get him some help.

Even if the parents refused to bail him out....he would have friends to do so anyway.

As I told my oldest son, when he got into some trouble, that I would be there for him and beg the judge for liency (mercy)....BUT...I also told my son that if he ever got into any other trouble, that he was on "his own"....and I have repeated this to my other 2 boys, and fortunately, they have not been into any trouble, at school or home.

First and foremost, I believe we as parents need to teach our children to be responsible for their own actions.

Good Luck to Sunny during this time.
 
deafdyke said:
OMG yes! Sunny, I wonder if you just had crappy realtionship with parents, and you were looking for somethign more with Dallas.....totally understood. Like you grew up togehter and felt close but when bad stuff cropped up, you thought it was just price to pay. " at least I have him. he's not bad person ALL time right? i wonder....do you have a degree yet? Maybe you could come to the states to NTID or Gally or SWID and meet other dhh kids to have realtionships with! There are healthy amazing relationships out there.....you just need to meet other kids like you!
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I have three semester left my degree. I agree need move somewhere deaf community not all have same last name...

rockin'robin said:
I was not surprised either....parents should always stand behind their children. It's possible Dallas' parents did not know of the abuse?....If Dallas was a chronic abuser, and his parents have repeatedly bailed him out of trouble, then I feel they are doing the wrong thing!...But if this was the first time, then the parents' should try every avenue they can to try to get him some help.

Even if the parents refused to bail him out....he would have friends to do so anyway.

As I told my oldest son, when he got into some trouble, that I would be there for him and beg the judge for liency (mercy)....BUT...I also told my son that if he ever got into any other trouble, that he was on "his own"....and I have repeated this to my other 2 boys, and fortunately, they have not been into any trouble, at school or home.

First and foremost, I believe we as parents need to teach our children to be responsible for their own actions.

Good Luck to Sunny during this time.
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Dallas never in jail before this. I think his parents not know. They never act like they know.
 
Sunshine said:
I have three semester left my degree. I agree need move somewhere deaf community not all have same last name...



Dallas never in jail before this. I think his parents not know. They never act like they know.
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Then it's understandable that his parents bailed him out of jail.....Sunny, you are a victim of domestic and mental abuse, and I hope you will somehow try to get some counseling.

The same for Dallas. He needs help, professional help, that his parents more than likely are not capable of giving it to him.

I honestly hope you will be able to "move on"...it's a slow process and hurtful one, I've been there!...And I know, that you will be a much wiser young lady next time you become involved with someone! Give urself time to heal, keep busy!
 
Good for you working on your degree. Stay focused on your goals and the new experiences that you'll have. You're a strong person, even though this relationship hurt so much. Keep taking care of yourself.
 
Sunshine said:
I have three semester left my degree. I agree need move somewhere deaf community not all have same last name...



Dallas never in jail before this. I think his parents not know. They never act like they know.
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Sunny, again I think it would be awesome if you transferred to NTID or SWID or Gally. I think that part of the problem is again you weren't allowed to emotionally grow as a person. You just had a limited social experiance....and emotional growth is very important. If you transferred to Gally or NTID or SWID, you would find tons and tons and tons of very cool people to make friends with ......maybe you could stay there for a couple of years and learn about healthy wonderful realtionships. Again, cases like yours are exactly why residental schools could be VERY valuable for dhh teens and older kids. ...it helps SO much with emotional development and knowing what a healthy realtionship is. SO many of the people involved in crappy realtionships, are those who never really got a chance to understand what a healthy realtionship is in the first place!!!! So they think when they get sucked into a horrible realtionship " Oh well at least I have this person. They're not bad ALL the time! I love them!"
 
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