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Nika said:
Dissociation is common in people with Chronic PTSD, especially if their PTSD stems from childhood trauma. You should know that if you're a mental health professional. I dissociate strongly but I don't have multiple personalities or anything. I just go into an irrational/suicidal mode sometimes, although I am generally speaking good about keeping it private except that my girlfriend happened to be suicidal that night so I had to go to my next resort. I don't know if it's that I feel suicidal when I dissociate because I access the trauma material, or if it's that when I dissociate I become suicidal. All I know is that I dissociate and when I become dissociated, I'm irrational/suicidal. It's not an alter which is why I wrote "alter" in quotation marks because I don't mean an alter as in a DID alter, but I don't know how else to describe it.
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Ahhh, yes. But you suggested that an alternate personality was doing your posting. Dissociation with PTSD does not involve an alternate personality, but simply a memory loss. And one who is dissociated in context of PTSD would not be posting on a message board, as the dossociation would entail a reliving of the trauma. Unless one was traumatized while posting on a message board, and it is a feature inherent in the PTSD, the explanation simply doesn't add up.
 
You guys are right that you shouldn't be worried about me actually killing myself. When I dissociate I talk about suicidal and how I want to die but I have dissociative most of my life and have yet to kill myself. But when I'm being irrational/suicidal, I'm not thinking in the same way I do now so I don't always think to say "don't worry I won't kill myself" because I actually think I'm going to kill myself in the moment. But I do know that I won't kill myself and you guys definitely don't have to be worried about that. Sorry to have worried so many people. If it comes up again (which it shouldn't) then just know that it's all talk and no doing.

By the way I talked to my therapist today and she and I agreed that I should move back up to three times a week. She will help figure out a payment plan so that we can afford it. In the meantime, I'm going to look into switch to the Medicaid plan Hear Again mentioned.
 
jillio said:
Ahhh, yes. But you suggested that an alternate personality was doing your posting. Dissociation with PTSD does not involve an alternate personality, but simply a memory loss. And one who is dissociated in context of PTSD would not be posting on a message board, as the dossociation would entail a reliving of the trauma. Unless one was traumatized while posting on a message board, and it is a feature inherent in the PTSD, the explanation simply doesn't add up.
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When I dissociate sometimes I relive the trauma and other times I don't. I developed pretty strong dissociative techniques as you know is common in children with C-PTSD. I really didn't mean to suggest an alternate personality. I put "alter" in quotation marks because I didn't mean a DID alter, but I don't know how else to describe it when I go into that mode. It's not the same part of me that is speaking now, it's another part of me, but it's not a separate personality.

I don't usually post on here when I dissociate but my girlfriend was suicidal, I was home alone, so AD was the next best thing.
 
Nika said:
When I dissociate sometimes I relive the trauma and other times I don't. I developed pretty strong dissociative techniques as you know is common in children with C-PTSD. I really didn't mean to suggest an alternate personality. I put "alter" in quotation marks because I didn't mean a DID alter, but I don't know how else to describe it when I go into that mode. It's not the same part of me that is speaking now, it's another part of me, but it's not a separate personality.

I don't usually post on here when I dissociate but my girlfriend was suicidal, I was home alone, so AD was the next best thing.
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If you aren't reliving the trauma, you are not disocciating. You are simply experiencing a lapse in judgement.
 
exactly, jillio. the *only* way a person can dissociate completely the way nika describes is if they have DID. furthermore, it doesn't make sense that a person relives a trauma in one instance, but not another while dissociating. either you do or you don't.
 
nika,

i'm very disappointed about what you did last night. you took advantage of me and other ad'ers. we were truly concerned about your safety and stability yet you did it all for attention. faking suicide is no laughing matter. i went into a psychotic depression last month because I DID want to kill myself. my voices were telling me to harm myself and told me i was better off dead. when i see people who fake suicidal ideations, it makes me sick. i'm sorry, but it does. if i get banned for posting this, oh well. i guess that will be a 48 hour cooling period for me.
 
Nika said:
I'm not malingering LuciaDisturbed. I'm sorry if you think I do because I understand how frustrating it can be when someone is malingering and I wouldn't want to be the cause for anger.

Suicide hits very close to home for me too. I would never make fun of something like that because I know how much it pulls on the heartstrings of others when they are afraid for one of their friends. I lost a best friend to suicide too so I understand where you are coming from. In fact my girlfriend is also suicidal sometimes and it is very hard for me when she is feeling suicidal cause I'm terrified one of these days she will kill herself.
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(hugs Nika)

It must have been really hard for you. Going through all these feelings.

I'm sorry to hear people are giving you a hard time. I knew someone who used to threaten suicide a lot. So I can see both sides here.

However I'd also beg you to give someone on AD contact information about you so if it happens again people aren't stuck worrying about you all night. PlEASE CONSIDER THIS.

Once again AD has managed to make a positive thread turn negative. I would please like to take this thread off me and return to its original purpose of giving hugs to anyone who needs or wants one.
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I suggest you ask the mods to move or delete this section of the read so the hugs thread can go back to it's original thread. Failing that. You could maybe close this one and start up a new hugs thread?
 
there is *never* an excuse to threaten suicide for personal gain and no one should feel sorry for those who do.
 
dreama said:
I do. But I'm afraid my request will get lost somewhere amonst all these other posts. (sad)
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oh hey! here's a Russian Bear Hug from me
 
Hear Again said:
will do. thanks, dreama. i'm feeling much better today. <hugs>
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(hugs hear again)

I'm glad you're back. Yesterday I came on to find I'd missed a suicide drama because I was sick the day before. And also you were banned (sad) Now I've just got writers cramp.
 
dreama said:
(hugs hear again)

I'm glad you're back. Yesterday I came on to find I'd missed a suicide drama because I was sick the day before. And also you were banned (sad) Now I've just got writers cramp.
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thanks, dreama. i really do need the hug. i just returned from a great pdoc appointment and have to come home to this. i'm sorry to hear about your writer's cramp, but am glad you're feeling better. <smile>
 
Hear Again said:
thanks, dreama. i really do need the hug. i just returned from a great pdoc appointment and have to come home to this. i'm sorry to hear about your writer's cramp, but am glad you're feeling better. <smile>
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(hugs hear again)

I know exactly how you feel. This thread was such a lovely idea and now it's turning into something else... I wish the whole of this episode could be deleted or the hugs thread moved elsewhere.
 
i'm sorry everyone. when i wrote pdoc, i meant psychiatrist. sorry for the abbreviation.
 
well, i actually think it's good that all of the posts are kept within this thread. perhaps it will help those who are considering faking suicide to think twice about their intentions.
 
Hear Again said:
well, i actually think it's good that all of the posts are kept within this thread. perhaps it will help those who are considering faking suicide to think twice about their intentions.
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I agree with you. This whole episode sickens me. People have no idea the pain and heartache they cause others when they fake serious illness or suicide. People who malinger don't deserve our sympathy. They deserve to be ignored. Perhaps if they are, there will be less of them in this world?

As for what happened the other night, I actually wish he would have been placed on a psychiatric hold and gotten to see what that is like. But, I don't think it would have made a bit of difference. (sad)
 
Oceanbreeze said:
I agree with you. This whole episode sickens me. People have no idea the pain and heartache they cause others when they fake serious illness or suicide. People who malinger don't deserve our sympathy. They deserve to be ignored. Perhaps if they are, there will be less of them in this world?

As for what happened the other night, I actually wish he would have been placed on a psychiatric hold and gotten to see what that is like. But, I don't think it would have made a bit of difference. (sad)
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:gpost: :gpost:
 
ocean,

when i experienced my first manic/psychotic episode in 2006 i was put on so many antipsychotics and mood stabilizers that i was catatonic for 17 hours (as told to me by my tactile terp and a nurse upon my discharge). if nika had been placed on a 72 hour hold, chances are likely that he would have been drugged up the way i was due to his suicidal "intentions." let me tell you from personal experience that it is not worth faking suicidal thoughts just for the sake of getting attention. it just isn't.
 
Hear Again said:
well, i actually think it's good that all of the posts are kept within this thread. perhaps it will help those who are considering faking suicide to think twice about their intentions.
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Except nobody seems to want any more hugs. I've started a new hugs thread now for people who want hugs. So they can all get their hugs there.

I find this thread really depressing now the topic has changed. It's not a good thread any more. (sad)
 
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