Married, but....

[whatdidyousay!]

whatdidyousay!, I 'm sad how much happened to you as a child. You are a strong person to have come through.

When you just wrote about how you learned to watch body language so well, that was so familiar to me! My parents fought a lot when I was a little girl. My mom's mother was physically and emotionally abusive and likely had depression, based on the way my mom has described her. I never met my maternal grandmother. The mother would tell my mom and her younger sister to get out of the house because she wished they <my mom and her sister as children> had never been born, and other things like that. When she was a little girl, my mom spent most of the time away from the house and took her younger sister with her to get her away from the parent. I think my mom's father was gone a lot on business and/or otherwise just didn't see a lot of what happened. So my mother's childhood really affected how she was with my own father. My mom's first husband died suddenly of a heart attack - this was way before I was born.
My mother used to yell and throw things. My dad hold a lot of things in and then stuff would explode. They were always loving to me and showed me affection but not kind to each other when I was young. So I learned early how to watch the body language to see how things might happen, if my mom was going to start screaming or whatever. She would sometimes get hysterical over small things. Sometimes I watched them to know if I should get between them or not - to try to distract them.
I used to watch and see how the energy in the room felt. But I couldn't have explained what I was doing. I saw and felt things, and had ideas in my mind but didn't have the words to express.

I know what you mean. My mother and ex brother where talking in the kitchen one day and as soon as I walked into the room they both stop talking.
I did not hear ONE word but I looked at my mother and ex brother and said
"You're having a baby!" My mom and ex brother where shocked that I knew what they just been talking about as they where not talking loud at all.
My dad was the one that threw things at my head my mom would not talk when she got up set. One day my parents had a huge fight and my mom when into bathroom to take whole of pills. I had to talk her out of doing this and when mom came out of the bathroom she could not see! She was bind with rage and she thought she had gone blind! I had to walk mom to the living room and sit her down and get her to quite down as she was freaking out! I had to tell mom she was not blind and that she would see again. My dad did nothing to help. I was only 16 yo when this happen . I did a lot of reading and knew there was an expression 'blind with rage ', I just never thought I would see it happen to my own mother. I only met one grand parent and that was dad's mother. She was a very proud Russian woman and I use to watch her like a hawk , I thought she was wonderful.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

My parents didn't divorce until I was 18. I'm 24 now and I'm still trying to make peace with it. Some days are good, some days are bad. I know they're both happier this way, and no harm to my step-families and all, but I'd kill to have my family back.

whatdidyousay!--Sending hugs to you if you want them. I'm sorry you had to deal with the things you did.

Thank you . My childhood did made me a stronger person and to become a very protected mother of my child and any person I loved and care about. It also made me very protected of my pets. I am not looking for pity , I am just trying show that staying married is NOT always in the best interest of the kids . My older sister and I had each had a friend come to our house and when they saw our beautiful house in a quaint little town our friends where jealous. Our friends thought we much of had a great childhood. It was more a story out one of Grimm fairy tales.

 

[needsleep]

Thank you . My childhood did made me a stronger person and to become a very protected mother of my child and any person I loved and care about. It also made me very protected of my pets. I am not looking for pity , I am just trying show that staying married is NOT always in the best interest of the kids . My older sister and I had each had a friend come to our house and when they saw our beautiful house in a quaint little town our friends where jealous. Our friends thought we much of had a great childhood. It was more a story out one of Grimm fairy tales.

Definitely see your point. Sadly, a lot of bad situations look wonderful to those unable to see what is really happening.