Making small talk with hearing strangers

CJB said:
Lots of times even after explaining people still don't get it and communication is still frustrating. I can't tell you how many times I've explained print on palm, in detail, only to have them yell in my ear or hand me a piece of paper.

:whistle:
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Ohhhh especially even after explaining to them, they still whisper in my ear...HELLLO????

Now, FJ..what's the solution to that?
 
I guess my perspective (not my "hearing perspective", just my faire_jour perspective) is that:

If something is working for you, do it (and don't bitch about it).

If something isn't working for you, change it.

So, if your interactions with hearing people aren't working for you, change something about it. You could tell them what your needs are, ignore them, sign to them, avoid them...whatever works for you. But being unhappy and not changing anything just doesn't make sense to me :dunno:
 
BTW, Shel, this is a great thread! It really brings a major issue out in the open for both deafies and hearies alike.
 
faire_jour said:
I guess my perspective (not my "hearing perspective", just my faire_jour perspective) is that:

If something is working for you, do it (and don't bitch about it).

If something isn't working for you, change it.

So, if your interactions with hearing people aren't working for you, change something about it. You could tell them what your needs are, ignore them, sign to them, avoid them...whatever works for you. But being unhappy and not changing anything just doesn't make sense to me :dunno:
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So, are you saying that deaf people cant vent to each other about these kinds of experiences?

And how do we change it? Why cant hearing people change their ignorant attitudes?

So, the responsibility lies on the deaf people ...or just completely hide ourselves in our homes and not venture out at all? Which is it, FJ?
 
KristinaB said:
so, that means, giving up my weekly library runs, the trips to the grocery store, regular trips to the bank, trips to the gardens or the park. No, I will not stop, just because I have to explain myself, I will just choose not to explain what my needs are. The things I do over and over and over, are my regular chores and errands. We should not have to stop our regular needs just to be comfortable.
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That's dumb. I do all these things without talking to people.
 
Bottesini said:
That's dumb. I do all these things without talking to people.
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What works for you doesnt work for others. Maybe she has a friendly personality and maybe is not comfortable snubbing people? Maybe you are.
 
shel90 said:
So, are you saying that deaf people cant vent to each other about these kinds of experiences?

And how do we change it? Why cant hearing people change their ignorant attitudes?
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No, I'm saying that if you are happy with it there is nothing to complain about.

How are hearing people supposed to "change their ignorant attitudes" when every single person in this thread has said that they don't even tell the hearing people that they are Deaf, let alone what they need!
 
faire_jour said:
No, I'm saying that if you are happy with it there is nothing to complain about.

How are hearing people supposed to "change their ignorant attitudes" when every single person in this thread has said that they don't even tell the hearing people that they are Deaf, let alone what they need!
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History history history....think pls.

If you dont like this thread or complaining about it, u didnt have to come here.
 
shel90 said:
What works for you doesnt work for others. Maybe she has a friendly personality and maybe is not comfortable snubbing people? Maybe you are.
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But in the end, she is ignoring them as well, just hiding that she is doing it. She isn'r communicating, just pretending.
 
faire_jour said:
But in the end, she is ignoring them as well, just hiding that she is doing it. She isn'r communicating, just pretending.
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She is pretending? Isnt that what your complaint about us is?
 
shel90 said:
What works for you doesnt work for others. Maybe she has a friendly personality and maybe is not comfortable snubbing people? Maybe you are.
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Or maybe she likes to jump in and pick on whoever it is popular to pick on at the moment whether what she says is logical or true or not.
 
faire_jour said:
No, I'm saying that if you are happy with it there is nothing to complain about.

How are hearing people supposed to "change their ignorant attitudes" when every single person in this thread has said that they don't even tell the hearing people that they are Deaf, let alone what they need!
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That should give you a clue. You have been told repeatedly that you have to be deaf to understand, yet you persist. Interesting.
 
faire_jour said:
I guess my perspective (not my "hearing perspective", just my faire_jour perspective) is that:

If something is working for you, do it (and don't bitch about it).

If something isn't working for you, change it.

So, if your interactions with hearing people aren't working for you, change something about it. You could tell them what your needs are, ignore them, sign to them, avoid them...whatever works for you. But being unhappy and not changing anything just doesn't make sense to me :dunno:
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Dear FJ,

This is the whole point of the thread, we are all sharing our experiences so we can find various ways in which to deal with this communication issue. We are not griping.
 
BecLak said:
Dear FJ,

This is the whole point of the thread, we are all sharing our experiences so we can find various ways in which to deal with this communication issue. We are not griping.
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:ty:
 
Bottesini said:
Or maybe she likes to jump in and pick on whoever it is popular to pick on at the moment whether what she says is logical or true or not.
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I have no idea what you are saying.

Iam just saying that everyone is different and the point of this thread was to share our different experiences and see how we handle it, not criticize each other.
 
shel90 said:
I have no idea what you are saying.

Iam just saying that everyone is different and the point of this thread was to share our different experiences and see how we handle it, not criticize each other.
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I agree that it helps me to understand better about others, for example, I do not have speech skill. I have always thought that deaf people wth good speech skill have no problem approaching with hearing people. Then I have witnessed so many of them doing the same situation in reality what this thread is all about. boy, I am dead wrong about it. yeah thanks for creating the thread.
 
faire_jour said:
So, you don't want to explain your needs, but you are still frustrated with your communication?

I'm just trying to understand
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Here's an idea faire_jour. Turn off your voice for a week. I know it's not the same as being deaf, but you can't stop hearing. You can stop speaking. So turn your voice off for a week. See if you have the patience to explain to every single person that you are mute, need to communicate with pen and paper or ASL. Good day, bad day, doesn't matter. By all means, do not use your voice. If you still have the patience to explain your needs every time, then try at it for a month.
 
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