Making small talk with hearing strangers

Frisky Feline said:
LOL. did you workout any chance? :lol:
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Yea but for a good 5 mins, it was interrupted with me signing to the woman and her chatting something about the gym. I kept signing "I dont understand you Ma'am." It was so hard not to use my voice...:lol:
 
shel90 said:
Anyways..back on the topic...

I started signed to hearing people yesterday and today. When I signed "hi" to one woman at the gym today after she said hi to me..she started chatting with me and I started signing back and she still kept chatting away. Uh oh! :lol:

I felt kinda silly signing back to hearing people but it was kinda fun.
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I try signing but then they wonder how I could hear that they were there to begin with. I guess being blind adds another dimension. It's hard to let someone know you know they're there but you can't understand them if they talk to you.
 
CJB said:
Great! I'll just stop buying groceries and other necessities, cause it might involve making small talk with a hearing stranger. Guess I should forget staying in touch with family too, cause that involves a good deal of small talk with hearing strangers. Yep, just avoid it all!
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If it would make you happy, you should do it. You can buy groceries on line, or through self-check, pay at the pump gas, pay your bills online....doesn't sound like a bad idea to me! (And as for talking to family, I avoid it at all costs too. I moved halfway across the country to get away from those people :giggle:)
 
CJB said:
I try signing but then they wonder how I could hear that they were there to begin with. I guess being blind adds another dimension. It's hard to let someone know you know they're there but you can't understand them if they talk to you.
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Yea, that's another issue. I never thought of that. That's a toughie...
 
CJB said:
I try signing but then they wonder how I could hear that they were there to begin with. I guess being blind adds another dimension. It's hard to let someone know you know they're there but you can't understand them if they talk to you.
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That is very interesting, never thought about it before....
 
faire_jour said:
If it would make you happy, you should do it. You can buy groceries on line, or through self-check, pay at the pump gas, pay your bills online....doesn't sound like a bad idea to me! (And as for talking to family, I avoid it at all costs too. I moved halfway across the country to get away from those people :giggle:)
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You can buy groceries online? Sweet. How do you get them to your house?

Unfortunately I can't avoid the bank cause ATM's are inaccessible to me. They have braille and audio but the audio only comes out of one ear and with the background noise it's already impossible to understand.

I already pay my bills online but I have to go to the bank to make deposits.

But the point is sometimes small talk is unavoidable. I avoid small talk as much as I can as is. I avoid family as much as possible too, lol. But I do stay in touch with immediate family.
 
Oh Shel, I have done that too. It was really refreshing. The person kept talking and I kept signing. It remiminds me of my MIL and her neighbor. Neither spoke the others language (Spanish/English) but those old ladies had many lively conversations. Ha!
 
faire_jour said:
I thought so, I was just picturing how stupid that lady must be to not notice that you are signing and not listening to her :eek3:
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See, that's what I am saying. I dont like to completely ignore someone who smiles at me or says "hi" because I am not a rude person but I dont want to "chat" knowing that I will have to stop with whatever I am doing so I can focus on making sure communication is clear. That is my whole issue. Then, I would feel guilty for having those bad thoughts towards to the hearing people because they were just being nice and not their fault so I wanted to see if others have experienced the same and felt the same afterwards. That was all.
 
faire_jour said:
I think that is fabulous! If something makes you unhappy and it can be avoided, avoid it!!

If you are in a situation that consistently end with you being frustrated and upset, and you continue to do the same thing over and over, why would it change? If you are unhappy, do something different.
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so, that means, giving up my weekly library runs, the trips to the grocery store, regular trips to the bank, trips to the gardens or the park. No, I will not stop, just because I have to explain myself, I will just choose not to explain what my needs are. The things I do over and over and over, are my regular chores and errands. We should not have to stop our regular needs just to be comfortable.
 
Shel90 and LDNanna, did you guys just sign random stuff or did you reply to what you thought they might've said? I can see that being fun.

"Oh it's good to see you again!"

"Pink elephants."

"How often do you come here, three times a week?"

"I have two left feet."

"I'm gonna go use the elliptical. Wanna join me?"

"The square root of negative one is i."
 
CJB said:
Shel90 and LDNanna, did you guys just sign random stuff or did you reply to what you thought they might've said? I can see that being fun.

"Oh it's good to see you again!"

"Pink elephants."

"How often do you come here, three times a week?"

"I have two left feet."

"I'm gonna go use the elliptical. Wanna join me?"

"The square root of negative one is i."
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That would be funny. :giggle:
 
CJB said:
Shel90 and LDNanna, did you guys just sign random stuff or did you reply to what you thought they might've said? I can see that being fun.

"Oh it's good to see you again!"

"Pink elephants."

"How often do you come here, three times a week?"

"I have two left feet."

"I'm gonna go use the elliptical. Wanna join me?"

"The square root of negative one is i."
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I signed

"I am working out now and I cant understand you."


"I am deaf"

"I dont mean to be rude but I really need my eyes to focus on my leg presses"

"I have no idea what you are saying"

something like that. I was so nervous because signing to hearing strangers without my voice is so new to me. :lol:
 
KristinaB said:
so, that means, giving up my weekly library runs, the trips to the grocery store, regular trips to the bank, trips to the gardens or the park. No, I will not stop, just because I have to explain myself, I will just choose not to explain what my needs are. The things I do over and over and over, are my regular chores and errands. We should not have to stop our regular needs just to be comfortable.
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So, you don't want to explain your needs, but you are still frustrated with your communication?

I'm just trying to understand
 
faire_jour said:
So, you don't want to explain your needs, but you are still frustrated with your communication?

I'm just trying to understand
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If she doesnt want to explain to her needs and is frustrated, is that a bad thing? It is her life and her right to live however she wants it. Really, this kind of thing doesnt really impact our daily lives at all. Seriously..
 
faire_jour said:
So, you don't want to explain your needs, but you are still frustrated with your communication?

I'm just trying to understand
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I don't want to have to explain ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, I need a little break and be a private citizen, not a public display.

There are times when I am happy to explain, but geez, I need my time too, you know?
 
Just recently I have started to become very open about my experiences of being moderately-severe to severely deaf. For years I fooled almost everyone into thinking I was 'hearing' because I was raised oral in mainstream schools and raised the only deaf person in a hearing family, so I was taught that deafness was not acceptable by the general populace and was something to be ashamed of and hidden. My immediate family although all hearing tried their best to understand me and accomodate my needs and I am grateful for that, but they too cannot understand how I prefer to not wear HAs and prefer Sign language and 'voice off'. Now, as an adult I discovered sign language and the Deaf Community and I'm learning sign as much as I can and have come to realise I don't need to be ashamed of being who I am. Deafness defines me. However, because I had been trained by a speech therapist to use my voice and can speak quite well, it calls for a lot of explanation on my part if I openly say that I am Deaf. The whole point of discussion in this thread is why is it that we have to explain ourselves to just passer-byers. For example, I was sharing my experiences with my hearing friend yesterday by choice - it took me 2 hours! So, when we are out in public, are we to wear signboards "Hearing people: I am Deaf. I am not a 'dumb mute'. I prefer Sign language oh and by the way, Nice to meet you but I'm kinda busy so 'Good day' "?
 
BecLak said:
Just recently I have started to become very open about my experiences of being moderately-severe to severely deaf. For years I fooled almost everyone into thinking I was 'hearing' because I was raised oral in mainstream schools and raised the only deaf person in a hearing family, so I was taught that deafness was not acceptable by the general populace and was something to be ashamed of and hidden. My immediate family although all hearing tried their best to understand me and accomodate my needs and I am grateful for that, but they too cannot understand how I prefer to not wear HAs and prefer Sign language and 'voice off'. Now, as an adult I discovered sign language and the Deaf Community and I'm learning sign as much as I can and have come to realise I don't need to be ashamed of being who am I. Deafness defines me. However, because I had trained myself to use my voice and can speak quite well, it calls for a lot of explanation on my part if I openly say that I am Deaf. The whole point of discussion in this thread is why is it that we have to explain ourselves to just passer-byers. For example, I was sharing my experiences with my hearing friend yesterday by choice - it took me 2 hours! So, when we are out in public, are we to wear signboards "Hearing people: I am Deaf. I am not a 'dumb mute'. I prefer Sign language oh and by the way, I'm kinda busy so 'Good day' "?
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Totally love you!

I went through the exact same thing hence my reason for strongly believing in this quote

"Living life as a hearing person limited me but when I lived life as a Deaf person, it freed me."

It just completely explains my life and what I went through.

However, this thread is NOT about oral vs. signing..it is about what u stated at the end of your post.
 
faire_jour said:
So, you don't want to explain your needs, but you are still frustrated with your communication?

I'm just trying to understand
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Lots of times even after explaining people still don't get it and communication is still frustrating. I can't tell you how many times I've explained print on palm, in detail, only to have them yell in my ear or hand me a piece of paper.

:whistle:
 
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