Is this cheating?

Lighthouse77 said:
That's because you are not ready for marriage or commitment :P
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Never said I am :) but clearly - there's a trust issue. I don't operate like that in any of my relationships.
 
been there and done that. Even though I am not in relationship with someone, I severe ties with that person. It happened to me recently. :aw:
 
Jiro said:
Never said I am :) but clearly - there's a trust issue. I don't operate like that in any of my relationships.
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There you go. Trust is a crucial element to relationships. If the trust erodes, the relationship won't last.
 
Jiro said:
Never said I am :) but clearly - there's a trust issue. I don't operate like that in any of my relationships.
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it isn't just about trust issue. I think it is more about friendship issue. if two people can not talk about anything, it can be hurtful if the other person doesn't think she is not important enough to tell her anything .. about the things he done and such when they are in a relationship.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
it isn't about trust issue. I think it is more about friendship issue. if two people can not talk about anything, it can be hurtful if the other person doesn't think she is not important enough to tell her anything .. about the things he done and such when they are in a relationship.
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I don't think it's right for boyfriend to call girlfriend as "friend" :lol:
 
Jiro said:
I don't think it's right for boyfriend to call girlfriend as "friend" :lol:
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of course not just a friend, but more than a friend... she certainly should not be treated like sex object either!

Girlfriend: Hey, what did you do today?

Boyfriend: nothing..... (when he hung out with the extra girl while couple hung out with each other all night at a concert)

Girlfriend: oh ok....

Boyfriend: yeah, anyway, wanna have (you know what)?


<---what kind of relationship is that? reminds me of my family when they say "NEVERMIND" all the time.
 
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Reba said:
I'll follow your analogy.

In the garden of dating, the girlfriend needs to pull some weeds. When it becomes a garden of marriage, then she needs to nurture and water it (as you stated). :giggle:
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I like this analogy.

Jiro, are you serious? :roll:
 
Driving Miss Daisy said:
Jiro, are you serious? :roll:
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somewhat because it depends. since when gf-bf relationships have to be that serious? these days.... people hook up, break up all the time. most of time - they aren't in for serious relationship that leads to marriage. Some people are just not meant for serious relationship
 
Driving Miss Daisy said:
The boyfriend went out with a couple and their female friend to a concert.
The boyfriend never told his girlfriend about it. Three weeks later, his girlfriend found out by some social website, saw a picture of them from a concert.

Is this mentally or emotionally cheating?
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If boyfriend and girlfriend are in a serious relationship like they know where they stand in a long run, then the boyfriend should mention about it to the girlfriend earlier than three weeks later through find out from the other people's social networking site. Then that is not cool. However if the boyfriend and girlfriend have problem a while before the boyfriend went out with friends. then sometimes guys don't bother to tell the girlfriends or the wives when they had problem before. If so, the boyfriend still could have told the girlfriend about it like one week later if they make up to be together agian.
:shrug: no it is not cheating but more of dishonest because of relationship.
 
Jiro said:
somewhat because it depends. since when gf-bf relationships have to be that serious? these days.... people hook up, break up all the time. most of time - they aren't in for serious relationship that leads to marriage. Some people are just not meant for serious relationship
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if the boyfriend knows how much the girlfriend loves him. The boyfriend could have said something like "whoa we are not going to get married, we just enjoy ourselve as relationship like simple" then the girlfriend should know that the boyfriend is taking it slow which means they are getting to get to know each other. Maybe the boyfriend does not need to tell the girlfriend because they are not in process of getting serious. If the boyfriend said, "we are in relationship means we can't see other people" then the boyfriend should have told the girlfriend that the boyfriend went out with the other people.
 
Sounds like the two of them got two different value systems; not compatible.

When I was in a long-term relationship, I never bother telling her where I went and who I went with; same thing vice versa since she didn't tell me much about her social life either. I always made sure to run by her what to pick up ie. food, school supplies, professors' lecture notes, mail and so on before running out.

Not cheating, or lying... two different values systems are clashing with one another.
 
Frisky Feline said:
if the boyfriend knows how much the girlfriend loves him. The boyfriend could have said something like "whoa we are not going to get married, we just enjoy ourselve as relationship like simple" then the girlfriend should know that the boyfriend is taking it slow which means they are getting to get to know each other. Maybe the boyfriend does not need to tell the girlfriend because they are not in process of getting serious. If the boyfriend said, "we are in relationship means we can't see other people" then the boyfriend should have told the girlfriend that the boyfriend went out with the other people.
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exactly, that's why I wrote "That's because you are not ready for marriage or commitment" to Jiro
 
WOW!!! Some of you are too quick to make a judgment based on insufficient information. There is not enough information to draw a conclusion. Some of you are making assumptions. I questions how you support such positions you took with so little information presented. Based on the limited information, there are more questions than answers......

Does the boyfriend know the female?
Did the boyfriend know that the female was coming?
Was this a "blind date" arranged by the couple?
Did the couple invite their own friends (the husband invited his male friend and the wife invited her female friend)?

All we know is that they all went to concert together. The boyfriend may not know who the female friend is and may not know that she was invited.

Did the boyfriend told his girlfriend that he is going to a concert?
Did the boyfriend say who he was going with?
Why would he mention about the female if he doesn't know she was invited or didn't know her personally?
Did the boyfriend not want the girlfriend to go to the concert?
Was the girlfriend busy that she could not go to the concert?
Did they have an extra ticket because the girlfriend could not go?

I would assume that the boyfriend told his girlfriend that he went to a concert with the couple otherwise his disappearance would be questionable and it is a common courtesy to communicate to your significant others about your whereabouts.

What did she saw in the picture?
Was it a group picture (boyfriend standing next to husband and female standing next to wife)?
Was it a picture of the boyfriend and the female friend?
Did the picture show anything obvious between the boyfriend and the female friend such as holding hands, hugging, arms around waists and so forth)?

I would assume that the girlfriend saw another female in the picture with him and the couple and did not like the idea that there was another female in the group.

Did she ask the boyfriend about who the female was in the picture or did she react quickly and called the boyfriend a cheater?
When the girlfriend asked, did the boyfriend tried to cover it up? If he covered it up about the female then something might be going on between those two and that might be cheating. If he was honest and say, "oh that is jane doe" and explained who she is and why she was there (such as a friend of the wife) then, No, he was not cheating.

Since additional information was provided later on....they are having some issues. This could be a classic case of insecurity and trust issues in the relationship.

More information would be helpful!
 
I think the big problem is communication issue... that's why she was so shock to see that picture.
 
now a idea came to my mind.. if the camera accidenlty busted them kissing? then that is definately cheating big time but they are just hanging out like friends then that's fine but it's considered to be a still a lie cuz he didn't tell her where he was going cuz he was embrassed that if he told her he was going to concert with a FEMALE friend not a gf.. then she will get wrong idea.. wud had told him no he can't go to concert in end.. so basically nobody understands that communication is big key to the relationship so figures.. :)
 
While I didn't take the time to read all of DoDaDew's post (lol, sorry!) I agree that there is really not enough information here.

Sounds to me like there is a little bit of fault on each party: girlfriend being distrustful, jumping to conclusions, but boyfriend probably should have mentioned, even if it was after the fact, that he went to a concert.

Either way, unless something intimate happened between the two, it's definitely not cheating.
 
Sounds to me like there is a little bit of fault on each party: girlfriend being distrustful, jumping to conclusions, but boyfriend probably should have mentioned, even if it was after the fact, that he went to a concert.
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The girlfriend probably does trust him,but it doesn't mean she isn't having communication problems with him. you don't know if she jumped into that conclusion or not (that he is cheating on her, I never do jump into that conclusion) . She probably was hurt more about the fact that she didn't know about it. And sometimes lack of communication can lead to distrust. Either way, I don't think their relationship is going to work.
 
Eh, first of all, there is WAY TOO LITTLE information here.

Second: I'd be pissed if someone accused me of cheating by being around friends that are of the opposite sex.
 
DoDaDew said:
WOW!!! Some of you are too quick to make a judgment based on insufficient information. There is not enough information to draw a conclusion. Some of you are making assumptions. I questions how you support such positions you took with so little information presented. Based on the limited information, there are more questions than answers......

Does the boyfriend know the female?
Did the boyfriend know that the female was coming?
Was this a "blind date" arranged by the couple?
Did the couple invite their own friends (the husband invited his male friend and the wife invited her female friend)?

All we know is that they all went to concert together. The boyfriend may not know who the female friend is and may not know that she was invited.

Did the boyfriend told his girlfriend that he is going to a concert?
Did the boyfriend say who he was going with?
Why would he mention about the female if he doesn't know she was invited or didn't know her personally?
Did the boyfriend not want the girlfriend to go to the concert?
Was the girlfriend busy that she could not go to the concert?
Did they have an extra ticket because the girlfriend could not go?

I would assume that the boyfriend told his girlfriend that he went to a concert with the couple otherwise his disappearance would be questionable and it is a common courtesy to communicate to your significant others about your whereabouts.

What did she saw in the picture?
Was it a group picture (boyfriend standing next to husband and female standing next to wife)?
Was it a picture of the boyfriend and the female friend?
Did the picture show anything obvious between the boyfriend and the female friend such as holding hands, hugging, arms around waists and so forth)?

I would assume that the girlfriend saw another female in the picture with him and the couple and did not like the idea that there was another female in the group.

Did she ask the boyfriend about who the female was in the picture or did she react quickly and called the boyfriend a cheater?
When the girlfriend asked, did the boyfriend tried to cover it up? If he covered it up about the female then something might be going on between those two and that might be cheating. If he was honest and say, "oh that is jane doe" and explained who she is and why she was there (such as a friend of the wife) then, No, he was not cheating.

Since additional information was provided later on....they are having some issues. This could be a classic case of insecurity and trust issues in the relationship.

More information would be helpful!
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That's what I am saying. Fkin noobs in here.
 
To add: If that happened to me. I was merely hanging out with a friend - and my sig other gets all wound up over it. I will NOT try to make her feel better. I will let her get all wound up over it. I have totally no time for that crap.
 
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