Is spanking on the kids belong kind of abuse?

[Liebling:-)))]

It's alright I can handle mld4ds *patting on top of his head*....

And You're very welcome

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Liebling, Whoa...take it easy. I have not started a flame...maybe I am too lazy to start a next sentence so that you would understand peacefully...

Angel knows I was kidding...

: No problem... I know you are good person since I saw your posts in my thread... I doesn´t mean to make the problem on you but ask you simple to respect... Angel already answer.... No problem...

 

[Cheri]

I do spank my children too only if it is necessary (on certain behavior) , Other than that I would discipline them by taking away their privileges, such as TV's, their video games or their favorite toys. My children need to know boundaries, bed time, when to come home when was told to come home. And I also do time-outs and grounded. I also reward them on good behaviors.

But, I do disapprove of corporal punishment at schools, As a mother I feel that it's my job to punish my own children. I don't believe that school teachers or principal have the right to spank my children at school. If my children's behavior is unacceptable, I only want them to make a phone call to me, And I will pick them up right away. I'm glad that my children's school system doesn't approve corporal punishment, If they have 3 warnings, the teacher makes a phone call to home. Both of my boys are aware of that. And they're never behave badly at school. (Thanks God)

I know every parent are different how they raise their children, and How they use their discipline ways. It doesn't make them bad parents at all. And It doesn't make me a bad mother either. I only consider abuse when an object is used on a child or children. (which I believe that is unacceptable)

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Other than that I would discipline them by taking away their privileges, such as TV's, their video games or their favorite toys. My children need to know boundaries, bed time, when to come home when was told to come home. And I also do time-outs and grounded. I also reward them on good behaviors.

This is an exactly what I did with my children.

But, I do disapprove of corporal punishment at schools, As a mother I feel that it's my job to punish my own children.

Yes, I´m agree to this.

I know every parent are different how they raise their children, and How they use their discipline ways. It doesn't make them bad parents at all. And It doesn't make me a bad mother either. I only consider abuse when an object is used on a child or children.

Exactly... thank you for share your post here with us...

 

[Angel]

I do spank my children too only if it is necessary (on certain behavior) , Other than that I would discipline them by taking away their privileges, such as TV's, their video games or their favorite toys. My children need to know boundaries, bed time, when to come home when was told to come home. And I also do time-outs and grounded. I also reward them on good behaviors.

But, I do disapprove of corporal punishment at schools, As a mother I feel that it's my job to punish my own children. I don't believe that school teachers or principal have the right to spank my children at school. If my children's behavior is unacceptable, I only want them to make a phone call to me, And I will pick them up right away. I'm glad that my children's school system doesn't approve corporal punishment, If they have 3 warnings, the teacher makes a phone call to home. Both of my boys are aware of that. And they're never behave badly at school. (Thanks God)

I know every parent are different how they raise their children, and How they use their discipline ways. It doesn't make them bad parents at all. And It doesn't make me a bad mother either. I only consider abuse when an object is used on a child or children. (which I believe that is unacceptable)

Exactly.... sis

 

[Reba]

No Wonder, that she lost her respect on her mother due her form of discpline.

No, you have the sequence backwards. She showed disrespect to her mom first. She didn't "lose" respect for her. She didn't show respect for mom in the first place.

Yes, it's depend on form of parent's discplinie how turn the children into kind of behavor.

Yes the children deserve an explanation why they can't have or why they should not do before ground them.

When they are developmentally ready for reasoning. A two-year-old doesn't understand the physics of fire, or the life-time consequences of wrong choices. Sometimes the parent can't explain a reason for a decision because of privacy issues, or things that are too deep for a child to comprehend. Sometimes the child will just have to accept "No!"

 

[AnnyGuy]

In that case, you’re acting like an ass.

Umm, is that necessary for you to say that? I haven't called you any names or whatsover.

 

[Eve]

Obvouisly you have not experience ABUSED or HELL STOOPID SPANKING.. Probably your parent give you tiny spank! That small! Sounds you have harshly remarks to other members.. You know-it-all...

Just so you know, my dad did beat me ONCE. It scared the shit out of him and he never laid a hand on me after that. I also was abused by my previous spouse to the point I was nearly killed. The police still have my photos for domestic abuse prevention presentations. However, this was enough to show me that there is a very distinct difference between abuse and a spanking. You obviously didn’t have the privilege of experiencing both ends of the spectrum, so you just assume that ALL spanking is abuse. Well, it’s not, Miss Know-It-All.

Why you continue to post to cause more problem because you don´t like my or others´s posts? Do you expect us to agree with you all the time?

No, but when you start throwing insults, expect them to come back at you.

You keep saying to anyone in some threads here about your problem with stepchildren, ex spouse, etc. etc. etc for months.

Yeah and I have documented proof (witnesses, evidence, police reports, criminal charges pressed against her, etc). Where is Luckysmile23’s proof?

You should shame yourself for insult anyone here in my thread because NOBODY here disrespect or judge your posts... *shake the head*

Yes, you have disrespected me and others by referring to our parenting techniques as abusive. Yet, you refuse to acknowledge your own issues. You would rather throw the attention on to me than face up to your own problems.

You name "Spoiled brat" & "self-absorbed"? You said this YOURSELF.

Not a name, an ACTION. And an accurate description at that.

Now I´m going to ask you to leave my thread please if you consider my thread as judgement & disrespectful.

As the thread starter, you are welcome to close this biased topic, but you do not have the right to tell anyone how to post or where they may or may not post.

Can you show me the link or paste where I judge you because I didn´t find it.

I showed you 3.

I can´t remember for seeing you apology for your rude behavior toward anyone because you don´t like to admit your mistake. It´s you!

Yup, it’s me….

I see the problem is you don´t like that we have different opinion than you I feel sorry for you.

You are more than welcome to your different opinions, but you open yourself up to criticism when you go attacking my/others parenting. So suck it up. Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

Me accused members here because I consider spanking as abuse... I´m not only person who consider spanking as abuse. *shake the head* You are the most diffuiclt person that anyone can resolve the issues with. No wonder that you has the problem with anyone. *shake the head*

I’m not the only one who has a problem with your accusations either. Refer back to Reba and cookiemonster’s posts for example.

I´m asking you to leave my thread please.

Why don’t YOU leave the thread, cuz I’m not going anywhere.

Dear friends,
Please don´t take Eve´s posts as serious/personal.

And why should they take your posts as serious? I have as much input as you do, but you are the one who began pointing fingers.

I do spank my children too only if it is necessary (on certain behavior) , Other than that I would discipline them by taking away their privileges, such as TV's, their video games or their favorite toys. My children need to know boundaries, bed time, when to come home when was told to come home. And I also do time-outs and grounded. I also reward them on good behaviors.

I agree with this completely. This is how I discipline my own children. Spankings are a very infrequent occurrence and only for the most defiant behavior.

But, I do disapprove of corporal punishment at schools, As a mother I feel that it's my job to punish my own children. I don't believe that school teachers or principal have the right to spank my children at school. If my children's behavior is unacceptable, I only want them to make a phone call to me, And I will pick them up right away. I'm glad that my children's school system doesn't approve corporal punishment, If they have 3 warnings, the teacher makes a phone call to home. Both of my boys are aware of that. And they're never behave badly at school. (Thanks God)

I agree. I would not sign a waiver for the school to spank my child. Instead, I requested that they call me immediately and I would discipline my own child in whatever way I felt necessary for the situation (if I felt a spanking were in order, I would administer it myself). However, there are some parents who don’t choose to discipline at all and allow their children to behave wildly at school and those are the ones who would have to go home.

Umm, is that necessary for you to say that? I haven't called you any names or whatsover.

And once again, I didn’t call you any names whatsoever either, I labeled your behavior, not you.

 

[Cheri]

I've had Corporal punishment at my junior high school. Of course I got spanked with a paddle by the principal a several times. It wasn't a pleasure one. I'll tell you that. It hurts as hell.

I got in trouble for cutting one class, threw a teacher's candy bar across the chalk board, and for fighting my bully, (I've got tired of shoveling against the hall walls, pushing against lockers, so one day she came around did it again, I just punched her right in the nose and it bleed). I know I was wrong. But, My parents wouldn't do anything about it before. So, I took that matter in my own hands.

 

[AnnyGuy]

And once again, I didn’t call you any names whatsoever either, I labeled your behavior, not you.

What behavior? What? I'm just telling what I see that it sounds an insult to me. I wasn't being rude or anything.

Speaking of proof, why DO you need to have her to prove you to show you that it was true? She don't have to. I don't think it is any of your business and demand a proof that it was true or whatever. If you don't believe her, then be it.

 

[Eve]

Speaking of proof, why DO you need to have her to prove you to show you that it was true? She don't have to. I don't think it is any of your business and demand a proof that it was true or whatever. If you don't believe her, then be it.

I don't need proof. I was replying to what makes my situation different than hers. It's called credibility.

 

[Mookie]

Eve, Whoppee Dee Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[Cookie Monster]

mld4ds, Eve's credibility looks much better than yours each time you post.

I just had to go back to my first post in this thread because I still firmly believe in my POV.

Each parent(s) has their own parenting method(s) and that usually does come with spanking or not.

I do not believe in smacking my child across the mouth when my child is little because my child needs his/her mouth (teeth, throat and lips) for communication, eating and breathing. An adult hand can inflict so much damage on a wee child's mouth so I refuse to touch my child's face. I can recall from experience as a child that the face is the most sensitive part of the body.

I will spank my child if he/she darts into rush hour after several attempts to explain to him the dangers of not staying by my side.

All in all.. parents are doing good by themselves and the funny thing is that, it is other parents criticising other parents about their parenting methods when those people should focus on themselves and their children. It's my feeling, that's all and I know it will change once when I have my own baby in my own arms.

source

 

[Mookie]

mld4ds, Eve's credibility looks much better than yours each time you post.

I just had to go back to my first post in this thread because I still firmly believe in my POV.

source

You have a right to accept anyone's point. However, Eve just talks too much....

 

[Cookie Monster]

You have a right to accept anyone's point. However, Eve just talks too much....

You're correct there. I have a right to accept anyone's POVs which is why I adhere to the "agree to disagree" adage. Voltaire has a very good quote that I do try my very best to follow by..

" I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." — Voltaire

However, stating that a member "talks too much" isn't appros. H*ll, I think I'm a chatterbox in this forum. :P

 

[Audiofuzzy]

I will spank my child if he/she darts into rush hour after several attempts to explain to him the dangers of not staying by my side.

But, Cookie Monster, why do you think it is neccessary at all.

First of all you must take under consideration that the little kids have no way to comprehend what may happen if they run into a street. They may look like they do but really doesn't. Not like you or me.

You may explain over and over until you are blue in the face- it's beyond their level of truly understanding...
and the kids tend to forget easily what they were or weren't supposed to do.
It only understand - no or yes.

Second of all, if you know your child tends to dart into traffic, you should never, ever EVER let the kid be unattened and free while close to traffic.
Always hold the kid's hand or take the kid in your hands to prevent it in the first place. Prevention is the best to avoid lots of problems in the first place. And therefore, spanking too.

Always remind the kid with strong NO! when the kid attempts to run away from you, unless running is allowed. Grab the kid before it gets away from you. Tell him "if you do it one more time, we're going back home". But DO go back home if the child doesn't obey.

It'll learn. It'll take time, and many repeats (and nerves) on your part, but it will.
Older kids do not run into traffic, because their level of understanding is higher than those of say 2 y.old. Not becaue they were spanked..

Fuzzy

 

[Awauphi]

When i was young I didnt know I can divorce my parents but its too late. I sufferly badly with my mom as she was always selfish about many things..(my dad died from AIDS in 87) she tried to kill herself several times. yelled at us and spanked us for not listening to her or whatever. Broke our promises numerous times. she wouldnt give me allowances to spend money at school? i had to get a job (my mom never knew) to get allowances to spend for trips to basketball tournaments and Florida trip.

When I turned 18, the school asked me why i still work and asked if i do get ssi ? I said i do but mom get my check. they said WHAT? no no it is your money!! u have the right to it cuz you are 18. they changed to my name and have them forward the check to school. Boy you should have seen my moms face.. she was HELL MAD!!! even CUSSED at school for that.. whoa..they told her they will call cops on her if she doesnt stop cussing cuz its school property. yes she is SELFISH and always have been. when it come to money and many things.. always about herself not foucs on kids.. maybe thats why no one come to see her ? cuz no one like the way she is? my sis dori stopped visiting my mom since 94.. my oldest sister Sherry she stopped going seeing my mom too? My bro Fred is a drug dealer and is in federal prison. My brother Jerry, he stopped seeing my mom for few years. she always whined.. why no one come and help me. I said i am here to help you. she is on oxygen full time as she have empshyema and need help with house chores. she always whined about the way i do with the chores and stuffs. i just ignore her. I am trying to be patient but god.. its hard.. god give me strength to go on.. sighs. i left arkansas to go to wyoming as i need a break.. i have been under stress nad pressure due to my mom and my sis jo jo..fighting, argh. sigh... ohhh well..

My mom and i rarely talk about many things like sex, schools, and lives. She always think of herself but not us kids. only to Yell at us and demand us to do whatever she wants. if she asked me please I probably will? That is why i dont have the respect for my mom. She treated us horribly so why should i ? i have lost the love feeling and the respect for her. If she had respected me - i would respect her? but no.. no wonder i love my second momma.. she is the BEST. she and i ALWAYS talk about everything even my babies i lost them.. she was there for me when my twins and Summer were born but only to be taken by God.. my mom WASNT there for me at all!!!!!! NOTHING.

yes i love kids and i will DO ANYTHING for them.. to make them happy .. take them out and have fun.. whtever they want to.. i always sit with kids and talk to them about what they do in school that day or whatever.. im not like my MOM!! im so different from her.. weird?

I was always happy at ASD cuz no one yelled at me or hurt me but the houseparents and my second momma were there for me. with love and guidance they groomed me into a good lady today. Look at my baby sister- she have bioplar disorder after what happened in the past with mom and dad. She HATE everyone and LIFE. angry and bitchy all times and is on drugs. She was in jail numerous times. I was on drugs and drinking heavily.. i almost ruint my life.. my second momma was there to help me thru it.. i got off drugs and drinking.. to this day I am sober clean. my other sis she got on drugs but got off it and went for counseling .. she is doing good to this day just like me.

If you dont want to believe me that is fine.. I know god believe me and listen to me and he love me and will be there for me.. I am happy I have god on my side. That is ok.

It is so sad the way parents dont love you and they treated u badly just the way they want to. I am so mad at my mom.. I hate my dad for leaving us.. but u knwo what ? Life is not fair.. i dont understand this.. maybe i will one day.. yet we have to live our life and learn from our mistakes.. we are not perfect human beings.. our stay on this earth is just temporary.. we will rejoice in the heaven one day for eternity.. i am so looking forward to be with my angels and family relatives, my dogs and my cats who all passed on .. time is short, my dear friends.. Love God..Love your enemies.. but dont have to believe his or their words.. but LOVE everyone..Forgive everyone. I forgive all of you. he will love you no matter what..He will listen to yall. I love him.. I am not perfect.. i do made mistakes. but god still love me .. i know he is there for me and TJ.. no matter what happened..

 

[Audiofuzzy]

PS.

I just wanted to add that children, regardless of age but yeah especcially little kids, can throughout one single day do a hundred things you'll want to spank them for.
Starting with waking you up at 5 am hungry and boring whereas you at this time can hardly remember who's that kid

Having kids is really trying.
One thing I often hear when I ask what did you learn since you've became a parent is - PATIENCE.
Also, as a parent, you develop certain resistance to many annoying things that childless people can't stand - for example the constant moving .. have you ever notice how little children are never STILL- they constantly move like little devils, even in their sleep .
And they talk or sing or cry, or just plain make noise incessantly (in this case I am thankful for my deafness ).
They ask endless questions, they want to play all the time, they want to drink, they want to eat, they want to pee, they want cookie before dinner - waaaaaaaaah, they want to go out and play in the freezing rain, they want to poo -oops, too late, they want to play patty cake with you during latest CSI, they want to pee again, they want to drink, they want to they want to they want to...!

And they get into mischiefs all the time because of their natural curiosty.
I've lost once a 30$ new Shiseido foundation (a B-day gift) in one day because I didn't realise the kids were playin make-up in the bathroom... half of the neighbouring kids were once wearin' 30$ foundation years ago

Oh yeah- if there is peace and quiet in the house BEWARE !!! it's NOT GOOD!!
be prepared for the worst.

You of course can forbide your kid to play with your makeup - they'll remember that for a week or so.. and you should be happy!


Really, there is a always something that the kid can be spanked for- all day long and everyday...

You CAN raise a good kid w/o spanking.

Fuzzy

 

[Cookie Monster]

But, Cookie Monster, why do you think it is neccessary at all.

First of all you must take under consideration that the little kids have no way to comprehend what may happen if they run into a street. They may look like they do but really doesn't. Not like you or me.


It'll learn. It'll take time, and many repeats (and nerves) on your part, but it will.

Fuzzy

You're correct that it will take patience and persistence to enforce the rules of listening to parents. However, when the situation asks for it, a spanking is required. Of course, I wont go into details until I'm blue in the face because I'm not a parent, yet.

 

[GalaxyAngel]

Eve, you happy now? Please leave BullyMom fraking alone.....

Dear BullyMom,

Oh boy, you are the tough cookie...I do deeply apologize for your terrible childhood. I can't imagine why....

I wonder if you may have seen your mother, brother and sister yet? You do not have to answer since it is none of my business.

Dont' look in past, just go forward and march on......

You are the best mother who does not believe in spanking. Watch your beloved children growing up in your peaceful environment.

mld4ds,

Thank you very much for comment.. That's okay Deeply..

Yes, Last time, I saw my mother 2 years ago as same my sister too.
I'm glad I've found my birth mother and birth siblings too from 2 years ago.