Is spanking on the kids belong kind of abuse?

[Reba]

I like to watch anyone spanking on kid with CI. Who knows if CI can properly function...

What do you mean?

 

[Eve]

You kept forgetting the rules apply here Eve, Respect is the key, and you did a name-calling just because you disagree with Luckysmile's opinion. Was that nesscary?

WRONG! Please re-read my post.

Luckysmile23 acted like a spoiled BRAT.

I specifically responded to the ACTION, not the person. Therefore, my statement was not aimed at name-calling. After all, we are here discussing ACTIONS (i.e. spanking), so YES, it was necessary.

Thanks for reminding me, I better go see my old elementary principal at senior citizen nursing home and kick his ass for a lack of communication...

Elder abuse, now THAT’s mature….

 

[greypoupon]

I don't spank my kids. They are 10 &12 now, and they are great kids. Everyone who is around them tells me they are such sweethearts.

Honestly...why would you HIT your child? I don't understand that.

You don't hit your coworkers when they do something youdon't like. You don't hit your spouse. You don't hit your friends or your neighbors, but these little people...people you love more than anyone else...them you'd hit?

Sorry. NO WAY.

It's completely unnecessary.

Kids are people, too. How do you teach a child not to hit other people? By spanking him?

I think it's wrong. Just flat out the wrong way to do things.

There are a million BETTER ways to discipline a child. Ways that actually DO teach your child something. And if they are too young to understand words, then you just keep them safe and teach them the words to use.

 

[AnnyGuy]

WRONG! Please re-read my post.I specifically responded to the ACTION, not the person. Therefore, my statement was not aimed at name-calling. After all, we are here discussing ACTIONS (i.e. spanking), so YES, it was necessary.

Elder abuse, now THAT’s mature….

As for saying that she ACTED like spoiled brat. Well, its an insult to me, IMO.

I believe it was just all talk but actually doing by hitting/beating elder person I doubt it. Its like... will have serious talk with him for what he have done to her/him in the past.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Regardless, Luckysmile23 had no right to be disrespectful of her mother. The woman clothed her, fed her, provided a roof over her head, not to mention going through labor and giving her life. Her mother deserves more respect than what was shown and Luckysmile23 acted like a spoiled BRAT.

To me, I expect NOTHING from my children but proud and happy to have them because they are my wish children.

Why should the children thanks their parents for the birth? It's parent's fun to make a baby.

Reba:
I don't know the full story behind the "broken promise" but I do know what I read in Luckysmile's description of her reaction. Luckysmile was very disrespectful and immature in her response to mom. Immaturity can be overlooked in a child but disrespect and rebellion cannot.

No Wonder, that she lost her respect on her mother due her form of discpline.

Not necessarily. Kids don't always react with logic or reason. They are immature, disappointed, and self-centered by nature. Sometimes "reason" doesn't matter. All the kid focuses on is his/her own disappointment. "Boo, hoo, poor me, I can't get what I want; the world is so mean against me." Yeah, yeah, life is rough, no skating today.

Yes, it's depend on form of parent's discplinie how turn the children into kind of behavor.

Yes the children deserve an explanation why they can't have or why they should not do before ground them.

But I has no problem with my children after apologzie them for break my promise for not take them to Dophlin park in Switerzland due gasoline gasoline. Of course, they are disappoint and upset but they take it well without insult/bitch/rude on us. They knows that we will take them there next time.

My eldest son was disrespect to me in the past until I learn alot from the tips thru parents conference. I know the problem is spankling (I spanked his hand & bum)... so I change the discplinie and realize the tips works well WITHOUT spanking on them. Sure, my children are no angel but I don't have problem to deal with them to respect on us due form of discpline because I know their behavor. I often told them that "I can't promise" when I am unsure.

Of course they also understand why we can't give them everything but fill their wish is birthday, easter & christmas - also go resturant to celebate our birthdays, mother & father day... outing trips to fill their wishes... but one thing it upset us because we broke our promise to them for take them to dophins park in Switerzland last August.

Sometimes children have to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. Sometimes that lesson is painful.

Yes, the children already learn what kind of world we have. Yes, they already learn what painful.
Sit and patienc to have a good talk with them to solve easy due PATIENCE. Some of parents have no good patience and think spankling is more easier for them which it's not true because it could lead more problem later... IMO.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I don't spank my kids. They are 10 &12 now, and they are great kids. Everyone who is around them tells me they are such sweethearts.

Yes, it's same with me, too. My kids are 12 & 9 years old. I as proud mother to tell you what/how the people loves my young son but they are surprised to see how improve my eldest son's behavor is. They praise me for work hard on my eldest son due my patience. It's my proud feeling. The reason I create my thread here to help the people but it's up to the people who think different than me. I do not change people's decision how to bring their children but their own decision.

Honestly...why would you HIT your child? I don't understand that.

You don't hit your coworkers when they do something youdon't like. You don't hit your spouse. You don't hit your friends or your neighbors, but these little people...people you love more than anyone else...them you'd hit?

Sorry. NO WAY.

It's completely unnecessary.

Kids are people, too. How do you teach a child not to hit other people? By spanking him?

I think it's wrong. Just flat out the wrong way to do things.

Exactly, there're way of things to show the children to learn respect..... & their parents's limit.

There are a million BETTER ways to discipline a child. Ways that actually DO teach your child something. And if they are too young to understand words, then you just keep them safe and teach them the words to use.

Exactly, that's why I want the help how to discplinie my children in positive way. I learn to improve my mistake after what I did with my eldest son. Sure, my children are no angel but I'm proud to say that I has no problem with my children. (My son has ADD but the tips work on him well due diets, form of discpline.... His behavor didn't show very much for long time now.) THANKS to the tips from parent conference, family magazines, etc. etc.

 

[Awauphi]

oh now you are calling me a liar? huh? what happen to the respect? no i didnt make up the story. you dont know what happened that day.. so what do you know? nothing... period.. i dont appreciate being called a spoiled brat. i didnt name calling you. im here to just speak piece of my mind by not believing in spanking partly due to my son having SID..plus my mom shouldnt have done is by broking our promise by not taking me, and my sisters skating for ANOTHER reason mainly my father and her got in fights that day. Why do my mom have to sulk in Dad's problems. she need to focus on US instead. We come first.. not Dad.. That hurts!! I was not the only one who was mad at mom. my sisters were too? i dont have to tell you why my mom was sulking in dad's plms as it is no one's business anyway..

The reason why I disagreed with spanking children like my son for example- spanking a kid with SID (Sensory Integration Disorder) is very PAINFUL. Here are two links you should read this and maybe understand some?

http://members.tripod.com/gigli/therapies/symptoms.htm

http://www.kid-power.org/sid.html

Ok.. now.. spanking TJ.. imagine being in his shoes.. and what will he feel like? butt on fire and burning, tingly and horrible feeling? only EVEN WORSE.. more very painful? that he will cry for hours? thats what happened when my bro spanked him before we knew he had SID. (we thought he was austitic) he lost control and cried, cried and cried.. i todl my bro dont u ever do that. he never did it again. (TJ still remmy his uncle and HATE him for hurting him- he was 1 yr old yet he REMMY cuz of the pains?)

ok.. how about this.. brushing his teeth is like using a bristle metal toothbrush. wear jeans is not comfy to him. have to wear SOFT like sweats.. hate tags in the tshirts which he would constantly have me cut it out.. he cry easily after being bumped in table.. i have to sooth him.. even a hug hurt him?? having a disease like SID is no fun.. he cant stand lights at Walmart, tv, and even the stupid fridge. He have special needs like therapy to learn to overcome the sounds and feeling of wearing jeans and using toothbrush etc. he is improving so much better that he is getting grasp of the situations around him. Thank God for the therapies!!!! He will never outgrow of this but he will learn to tolerate the everyday lives.

so after learning my son have SID. i researched alot on this subject and found out spanking is out of question that lead me to asking questions on how to discipline him and what to do by attending parents class, magazines, and internet. Remember NO one are perfect. and we are here to LEARN and comment on what is our ideas, opinions, and best way to discipline our kids in the best way there is possible. but this? NAME bashing or name calliing? What happened to being compassion and understanding? sighs...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

This isn’t disrespect. This is stating that we don’t know the whole story. There is nothing bashing or insulting about showing that there are often situations were we only know a certain amount. But, what we do know from Luckysmile23 is that she was definitely disrespectful toward her mother.
If I had spoken to my mother the way Luckysmile23 said she spoke to her mother, I would have ended up with a hand across my face....AND I WOULD HAVE DESERVED IT!

See, I'm not only one who consider you as disrespectful and judgement what you said this to Luckysmile23.

I see that you do not consider it as disrespect, bashing/insult but us. We see different than you. I can see that you didn't know how to respect anyone.

You see that we should not jump and judge people's posts because we don't beleive their one-sided story. Do we jump to judge your posts over your condition with your step-children, etc. etc.? We didn't but respect you and give you feedback with opinion.


Respect is Respect.

I felt that Luckysmile23 deserve an apology from you, Eve.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

oh now you are calling me a liar? huh? what happen to the respect? no i didnt make up the story. you dont know what happened that day.. so what do you know? nothing... period.. i dont appreciate being called a spoiled brat. i didnt name calling you. im here to just speak piece of my mind by not believing in spanking partly due to my son having SID..plus my mom shouldnt have done is by broking our promise by not taking me, and my sisters skating for ANOTHER reason mainly my father and her got in fights that day. Why do my mom have to sulk in Dad's problems. she need to focus on US instead. We come first.. not Dad.. That hurts!! I was not the only one who was mad at mom. my sisters were too? i dont have to tell you why my mom was sulking in dad's plms as it is no one's business anyway..

I'm not surprised after read your post because I beleive you in first place because I know what this is.

I'm almost same position as you for lost my respect my parents for that because my parents broke their promise alots which it's hurt.

One thing, I never forget is:

My mother & step-dad took my siblings to school and then gone for shopping to leave me alone in the home. I'm alone and watch on TV and then fell sleep then wake up and go back to kitchen to get something and suddenly saw mom & step-dad's angry faces telling me to open the door from kitchen window. I was like & They attacked me right way as I just opened the door. I received spanked from BOTH of them RIGHT WAY because "I'm naughty for doesn't bother to answer the door". I cried & cried hours and stared red mark on my leg, hand, arm & face thru their own HANDS. How could they forget that I CAN'T HEAR the door bell or knock...? How could they give me the fault for not let them wait outside for over hour, that's just because they forget door key? This is their form of discliplince how they did with me and my siblings. Of course it's same with my Dad, too because I came home late thru miss the bus. They spanked me without give me the chance to explain them.

The reason why I disagreed with spanking children like my son for example- spanking a kid with SID (Sensory Integration Disorder) is very PAINFUL. Here are two links you should read this and maybe understand some?

http://members.tripod.com/gigli/therapies/symptoms.htm

http://www.kid-power.org/sid.html

wow, it's interesting to learn about SID from your link. Thank you for share your link here with us.

Ok.. now.. spanking TJ.. imagine being in his shoes.. and what will he feel like? butt on fire and burning, tingly and horrible feeling? only EVEN WORSE.. more very painful? that he will cry for hours? thats what happened when my bro spanked him before we knew he had SID. (we thought he was austitic) he lost control and cried, cried and cried.. i todl my bro dont u ever do that. he never did it again. (TJ still remmy his uncle and HATE him for hurting him- he was 1 yr old yet he REMMY cuz of the pains?)

ok.. how about this.. brushing his teeth is like using a bristle metal toothbrush. wear jeans is not comfy to him. have to wear SOFT like sweats.. hate tags in the tshirts which he would constantly have me cut it out.. he cry easily after being bumped in table.. i have to sooth him.. even a hug hurt him?? having a disease like SID is no fun.. he cant stand lights at Walmart, tv, and even the stupid fridge. He have special needs like therapy to learn to overcome the sounds and feeling of wearing jeans and using toothbrush etc. he is improving so much better that he is getting grasp of the situations around him. Thank God for the therapies!!!! He will never outgrow of this but he will learn to tolerate the everyday lives.

so after learning my son have SID. i researched alot on this subject and found out spanking is out of question that lead me to asking questions on how to discipline him and what to do by attending parents class, magazines, and internet. Remember NO one are perfect. and we are here to LEARN and comment on what is our ideas, opinions, and best way to discipline our kids in the best way there is possible. but this? NAME bashing or name calliing? What happened to being compassion and understanding? sighs...

***goose pumps*** Your story touch my heart. I know that you are a good mother and want the help how to discplinie your SID son. It's an exact what I did with my eldest son who had ADD.

Thank you again for share your post here. I appreciate it very much. It's interesting to learn about SID...

 

[Awauphi]

i m not telling anyone how to do their job by being a perfect mother? no one are perfect. only God is. sighs.. why cant no one just listen? is this the way to talk about what we think and feelings and comment on tips and how to etc..everyone have millions different feedbacks. but name calling, no respect, and all that. this is an insult to me.. this definitely sucks!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

i m not telling anyone how to do their job by being a perfect mother? no one are perfect. only God is. sighs.. why cant no one just listen? is this the way to talk about what we think and feelings and comment on tips and how to etc..everyone have millions different feedbacks. but name calling, no respect, and all that. this is an insult to me.. this definitely sucks!

Exactly...

I'm sorry how you feel like this.

I only create my thread to share our feedback/opinion/feeling with anyone here. It doesn't mean that we are PREFECT parents in the world but we do our best what we can. Of course nobody are prefect...

It doesn't mean that everyone are bad parents because they have different form of discplinie on their children.

 

[Awauphi]

Your welcome.. Glad to help out another fellow on what SID is all about or other diseases. My bf's son who is 13 and he have ADD. My nephew Ryan is 21 and have ADD. I know what it like to be around someone with ADD.. whew!! its HARD. No one are perfect.. we all know that.. we made mistakes and we learned from our mistakes.

know what? TJ will be and only child of mine who i love so much. I am tied as cuz of losing 3 babies and I almost lost TJ? Thank god i didnt. He is special and well loved by me. I want the best for him by learning about SID. Nothing wrong with that. I love him so much and am proud to have a special need son like TJ in my life!!!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

See, I'm not only one who consider you as disrespectful and judgement what you said this to Luckysmile23.

I see that you do not consider it as disrespect, bashing/insult but us. We see different than you. I can see that you didn't know how to respect anyone.

You see that we should not jump and judge people's posts because we don't beleive their one-sided story. Do we jump to judge your posts over your condition with your step-children, etc. etc.? We didn't but respect you and give you feedback with opinion.


Respect is Respect.

I felt that Luckysmile23 deserve an apology from you, Eve.

I want to edit my post to add something on my post but it's too late. My Add post is:

Nobody here say that you are a bad parent or tell you do how to discipline your children. It's your own decision when you think different than me or others. What you did with your children works well as what I did with my children also work well, too.

 

[Cheri]

WRONG! Please re-read my post.I specifically responded to the ACTION, not the person. Therefore, my statement was not aimed at name-calling. After all, we are here discussing ACTIONS (i.e. spanking), so YES, it was necessary.

Sounds like you getting upset at the fact that I'm pointing out the error of your post that was uncall for, This is a very good thread to discuss here without even bringing member(s) down. Why don't you admit your wrong doing and correct them and do better next time? That's a new lesson for you.. Try it sometimes.

Even though we support freedom of speech, show some respect, use common sense, and keep an open mind when participating in discussions.

http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=95

 

[Mookie]

What do you mean?

Any parent or school principal spank harder on the kid with CI so that the CI would fly away from his/her head because of gravity as a impacted force.

~~~~~~

If any step-parent wants to spank me, i would beat him/her right away. That's why I may not get anything in the will if my bio-parent dies first. Step-parent may give anything to their own children instead of their step-children. Sadly isnt it?

Bio-parent may not get the child's trust since they wish to see their grandchildren. Why? They made great errors for spanking rules...

I can't imagine for the children with SID. I share their pains...

Eve, you better respect for their childrens' healths. Imagine your life in 80s at nursing home, the hospice nurses may spank you for stupid behavior. You really like spanking issue, don't you?

 

[Cookie Monster]

You contradicted yourself here.

You enforce harder spanking on a child that has a CI just so that their CI will "magically" fly away from the head.

Any parent or school principal spank harder on the kid with CI so that the CI would fly away from his/her head because of gravity as a impacted force.

Yet, you stated to Eve that she has to mince her words about spanking because if she were to be older, she could be in a nursing home. (Believe me, she won't! She has a mind of her own and she'd terrorize the staff! :P)

Eve, you better respect for their childrens' healths. Imagine your life in 80s at nursing home, the hospice nurses may spank you for stupid behavior.

You are one to talk, mld4ds, because you stated this quote,

You really like spanking issue, don't you?

Just because Eve really contributed to this topic in a very smart and articulate way without flaming the thread doesn't mean she thrives in spanking or abusing her children. You need to look at Eve and other members that contributes to this thread in a different perspective without drawing conclusions.

It is best to get all your eggs in the basket before going to the market.

 

[Mookie]

You contradicted yourself here.

You enforce harder spanking on a child that has a CI just so that their CI will "magically" fly away from the head.



Yet, you stated to Eve that she has to mince her words about spanking because if she were to be older, she could be in a nursing home. (Believe me, she won't! She has a mind of her own and she'd terrorize the staff! :P)



You are one to talk, mld4ds, because you stated this quote,



Just because Eve really contributed to this topic in a very smart and articulate way without flaming the thread doesn't mean she thrives in spanking or abusing her children. You need to look at Eve and other members that contributes to this thread in a different perspective without drawing conclusions.

It is best to get all your eggs in the basket before going to the market.

Hello Cookie Monster, I am not surpirsed if you actually threw some dirt on my face.

Do you know a fact that senior citizens in 80s or up acts like a five years old children. I already visited there several time and noticed their odd behaviors. Why? Not many children would visit their parents and they tend to dim their great memory in their family life....

I have heard the terrible stories that they were spanked or disciplined in other form for their bad behaviors.

Eve believe in spanking issue, so be it....

Why don't you work at hospice and you will actually be surprised to learn....

 

[Cookie Monster]

Hello Cookie Monster, I am not surpirsed if you actually threw some dirt on my face.

Please provide such said evidence to back up such said accusation.

Do you know a fact that senior citizens in 80s or up acts like a five years old children. I already visited there several time and noticed their odd behaviors. Why? Not many children would visit their parents and they tend to dim their great memory in their family life....

You fail to mention that some senior citizens that are in the hospices do suffer from Alzheimers or Parkinson's Disease. The tragic diseases that robs them of their memories and makes them mimic the behaviour of a child.

I have heard the terrible stories that they were spanked or disciplined in other form for their bad behaviors.

Before you say "I heard, I saw, Someone told me.." It is always best to have such said evidence with a link or source to substainate your claim.

Eve believe in spanking issue, so be it....

Do not put words in members' mouths. Read their posts.

Why don't you work at hospice and you will actually be surprised to learn....

Let me mimic Eve...

"What does this have to do with the price of tea in China?!"

 

[Mookie]

Please provide such said evidence to back up such said accusation.



You fail to mention that some senior citizens that are in the hospices do suffer from Alzheimers or Parkinson's Disease. The tragic diseases that robs them of their memories and makes them mimic the behaviour of a child.



Before you say "I heard, I saw, Someone told me.." It is always best to have such said evidence with a link or source to substainate your claim.



Do not put words in members' mouths. Read their posts.



Let me mimic Eve...

"What does this have to do with the price of tea in China?!"

Monster Cookie, keeping talking so I am going to have some hot tea. Thanks for reminding me...

 

[Eve]

Why should the children thanks their parents for the birth? It's parent's fun to make a baby.

You obviously didn’t have a nature childbirth experience, did you? I can assure you, my fun ended with conception.

I am certainly not saying that you are wrong for disciplining your children in your own way, but you can certainly go straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200, if you think I am going to sit by idly while you lecture me on my parenting style.

oh now you are calling me a liar? huh? what happen to the respect?

Did I ever use the word “liar”? No, I don’t think so. As for respect, where was your respect for your mother?

no i didnt make up the story. you dont know what happened that day.. so what do you know? nothing... period..

Exactly my point, all we have is YOUR version of what happened, which could be completely different from your mother’s version. As Patty said, there are always 3 sides to a story.

i dont appreciate being called a spoiled brat. i didnt name calling you.

I didn’t name calling you either, I stated that you ACTED like a spoiled brat, which you did.

I was not the only one who was mad at mom. my sisters were too? i dont have to tell you why my mom was sulking in dad's plms as it is no one's business anyway..

And yet you brought it up.

The reason why I disagreed with spanking children like my son for example- spanking a kid with SID (Sensory Integration Disorder) is very PAINFUL. Here are two links you should read this and maybe understand some?

I know exactly what Sensory Integration Disorder is and I agree that this child with a unique condition should not be spanked, due to his condition, but this is certainly not applicable for every child. And believe me, you are not the only one on this forum who has done research and attended parenting classes.

See, I'm not only one who consider you as disrespectful and judgement what you said this to Luckysmile23.

And I’m not the only one who considers you and Luckysmile23 as disrespectful and judgmental. Get over it.

I see that you do not consider it as disrespect, bashing/insult but us. We see different than you. I can see that you didn't know how to respect anyone.

And I see that you have been disrespectful and judgmental of others throughout this entire topic.

You see that we should not jump and judge people's posts because we don't beleive their one-sided story. Do we jump to judge your posts over your condition with your step-children, etc. etc.? We didn't but respect you and give you feedback with opinion.

uhhhh, YEAH you did.

Respect is Respect.

Practice what you preach, sister.

Thank you again for share your post here. I appreciate it very much. It's interesting to learn about SID...

And yet this topic isn’t about SID, now is it?

I only create my thread to share our feedback/opinion/feeling with anyone here.

No, you created this thread to tell other people how to parent their children. You have no respect for anyone’s ways but your own.

Nobody here say that you are a bad parent or tell you do how to discipline your children. It's your own decision when you think different than me or others. What you did with your children works well as what I did with my children also work well, too.

*cough*bullshit*cough* Examples of where you have accused several members of “abusing” their children:

AM: Spanking is always an abuse of power….. Very true

About threat, spanking, force, etc.

What would you say if you receive spanking from your partner to punish you to fail cook the dinner, horrible taste, stubborn, etc.? Is it not abuse or what? (Eve’s response: Here you are comparing spouse abuse with spanking, thereby stating that a spanking is abuse)

I beleive that spanking with hand is belong to kind of abuse because it hurts everybody's body.

Eve, you better respect for their childrens' healths. Imagine your life in 80s at nursing home, the hospice nurses may spank you for stupid behavior. You really like spanking issue, don't you?

I’d like to spank you.

(Believe me, she won't! She has a mind of her own and she'd terrorize the staff! )

amen!

Eve believe in spanking issue, so be it....

Yeah, I do. And my parents spanked me and I still respect them and will treat them with dignity should they ever be put in a nursing home. I expect the same of my own children.