Is it stupid of me to go to a deaf meet with only limited ASL?

Jiro said:
no not rude at all. use your cellphone to type it out. it's green-friendly. don't kill the trees :)
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Interesting that you said this. I went to a diversity HH in Austin in November. They changed the name from DPHH, not sure why. Anyway I tried to use my phone to communicate a couple of times and they looked at me like I was from Mars.

My experience at these events (1 in Austin, 2 in Dallas, 1 in Ft Worth) has been that you have to be think skinned if you don't know ASL. There were alot of people that didn't want to bother with someone that didn't sign. BUT, each time I met a few really nice people as well. Being a man, I noticed that no men talked to me. Probably a jealous or protective kind of thing that's the vibe I got. But I did meet a few women at each event and I learned a little bit of ASL each time.

All this to say, yes go. Just be prepared. It can be a little intimidating at first.
 
TXgolfer said:
Interesting that you said this. I went to a diversity HH in Austin in November. They changed the name from DPHH, not sure why. Anyway I tried to use my phone to communicate a couple of times and they looked at me like I was from Mars.

My experience at these events (1 in Austin, 2 in Dallas, 1 in Ft Worth) has been that you have to be think skinned if you don't know ASL. There were alot of people that didn't want to bother with someone that didn't sign. BUT, each time I met a few really nice people as well. Being a man, I noticed that no men talked to me. Probably a jealous or protective kind of thing that's the vibe I got. But I did meet a few women at each event and I learned a little bit of ASL each time.

All this to say, yes go. Just be prepared. It can be a little intimidating at first.
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yep. that will happen pretty much wherever you go. That's why I suggested to have one deaf friend to go with. Alex (AD owner) was gracious enough to introduce me to everyone despite of my non-existent ASL skill couple years ago. He was also gracious enough to make my experience with DPHH/HH events less intimidating each time I go as my ASL skill continued to improve. Now I can just go myself and socialize.

and yes - thick skin is needed. Some people do not know any deaf friend so they go alone. That is ok! You will definitely get an uncomfortable vibe from certain people... uncomfortable enough to make you want to leave very early. Do not let it get to you! Keep on conversing with as many as you can. Out of, say... 40 people.... maybe you'll encounter probably 30 people who will be kind enough to make a very small talk with you for like 1 minute... and that's it. and then 9 people who would shrug you off... and finally 1 person who is cool enough to want to know more about you and to be real friend with you. That's pretty much all you need to make your next deaf event a more positive experience.

oh btw - hmmm... I call it DPHH because it's what they use in here. At some place - it's called HH but in your case where they renamed it to DPHH... I guess it's to make it sound more professional. There was a little argument around here back then that the DPHH organizer (or somebody else) wants to add a stricter requirement to future DPHH event to make it more professional and formal (dressing code, certain professions, etc.). :roll: oh whatever..... typical drama.
 
evil_queen_lisa said:
someone care to clarify DPHH vs HH?
THanks,
*EQL*
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they're same thing.

DPHH = Deaf Professional Happy Hour
HH = Happy Hour

It's just the matter of public perception on certain wording, I guess. DPHH just sounds more professional.... :dunno:

for next week where ADers are coming together - we're calling it AD Happy Hour :lol:
 
Not at all. You might meet someone just like you and you can use that person to practice ASL with when you aren't at the deaf meet.
 
I am still very new to ASL and go to my deaf socials. They are very accepting when I produce the pen and paper and are teaching me as well. I start my ASL classes next week.
 
The more you practice with fluent signers, the more ASL you can retain. I know this for a fact cause I have lost alot of wheat I had learned in my college classes.
 
Jiro said:
yep. that will happen pretty much wherever you go. That's why I suggested to have one deaf friend to go with. Alex (AD owner) was gracious enough to introduce me to everyone despite of my non-existent ASL skill couple years ago. He was also gracious enough to make my experience with DPHH/HH events less intimidating each time I go as my ASL skill continued to improve. Now I can just go myself and socialize.

and yes - thick skin is needed. Some people do not know any deaf friend so they go alone. That is ok! You will definitely get an uncomfortable vibe from certain people... uncomfortable enough to make you want to leave very early. Do not let it get to you! Keep on conversing with as many as you can. Out of, say... 40 people.... maybe you'll encounter probably 30 people who will be kind enough to make a very small talk with you for like 1 minute... and that's it. and then 9 people who would shrug you off... and finally 1 person who is cool enough to want to know more about you and to be real friend with you. That's pretty much all you need to make your next deaf event a more positive experience.

oh btw - hmmm... I call it DPHH because it's what they use in here. At some place - it's called HH but in your case where they renamed it to DPHH... I guess it's to make it sound more professional. There was a little argument around here back then that the DPHH organizer (or somebody else) wants to add a stricter requirement to future DPHH event to make it more professional and formal (dressing code, certain professions, etc.). :roll: oh whatever..... typical drama.
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On the name change they told me they went from DPHH to diversity happy hour to include others. But everyone there was deaf.....so I don't know. Houston uses DPHH Dallas and Fort Worth just use Deaf HH. I was assuming DPHH may be a national trademark. I could be wrong.
 
natty_4ever said:
Well I don't have any Deaf friends since I was mainstreamed. I'll probably go alone.
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I know Shel and I were both mainstreamed and had no deaf friends until later in life and after we got started in with the deaf community.

Right now, I can count on my two hands the number of deaf friends I have outside of the virtual friends here on AD, but that doesn't keep me from going to a deaf socail and learning more and enjoying myself. It's stressful the first few times, but they will get to know you and most times are willing to help.
 
this feedback personally helps me feel more confident. i know fingerspelling and a few greetings phrases so i would definitely like to learn more myself before i go...but it's nice to know what the events are like for people learning ASL.
 
lpmegs said:
this feedback personally helps me feel more confident. i know fingerspelling and a few greetings phrases so i would definitely like to learn more myself before i go...but it's nice to know what the events are like for people learning ASL.
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Acceptance only depends on the way you approach folks. Approach them with an attitude of "You know something I would like to learn. Please teach me." and you will be fine. **smile**
 
evil_queen_lisa said:
Go! Go! Personally I'd be tempted to bring a paper and pen so that you can explain to people that you are going deaf and only beginning to learn asl... maybe that is rude? I don't know, i've never been to any deaf events unfortunately. :( I'm sure someone will correct me if a paper and pen at a deaf social is a 'no-no'.
*EQL*
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I was thinking that too, bring a note book and pen to use , I don't it would be rude to write down a few words if she does not know how to sign them.
I would rather write a word and use the wrong sign for a word. My college
guidance counselor told me a funny story . She was at church and a
sign language interpreter was signing what the priest was saying. when the
priest said the word "together" the interpreter kept using the wrong sign , he was using the sign for 'Fuck' instead! And everyone in church was falling asleep, but when they saw the sign for 'fuck' it got people attention! The interpreter had no idea what he was doing wrong!
 
Go ahead and attend. You will be surprised how quickly you can pick up what is being communicated even if you only know a few signs. Go by your other visual cues: facial expressions, body language etc. Word of advice: Concentrate on one conversation at a time. Don't try to understand every conversation around you, its a visual overload. However don't do what some ASL hearing students do - don't tune out and read a book or newspaper. Keep watching and observing the conversation, you will be surprised how much you retain when you go back to your personal study. All the best!
 
TXgolfer said:
Interesting that you said this. I went to a diversity HH in Austin in November. They changed the name from DPHH, not sure why. Anyway I tried to use my phone to communicate a couple of times and they looked at me like I was from Mars.

My experience at these events (1 in Austin, 2 in Dallas, 1 in Ft Worth) has been that you have to be think skinned if you don't know ASL. There were alot of people that didn't want to bother with someone that didn't sign. BUT, each time I met a few really nice people as well. Being a man, I noticed that no men talked to me. Probably a jealous or protective kind of thing that's the vibe I got. But I did meet a few women at each event and I learned a little bit of ASL each time.

All this to say, yes go. Just be prepared. It can be a little intimidating at first.
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thick skinned? really? ive always been welcomed, from the first DPHH i went to where i could barely say anything in ASL besides my name and wheres the bathroom. lol i went by myself the first time and the only person i knew was my ASL teacher. i left with like 3 phone numbers! this month will be my 5th one, and now i roll in there with my Deaf/HOH possee, and i have learned so much more ASL.. My teacher has told me I am progressing faster than most in my class because I have been hanging out in the Deaf community and she can tell it is helping me out.

Anyway, my point is-- do it! and from my experience no one was mean, everyone is really helpful and patient when i have to fingerspell a lot because my vocabulary is not so big yet.. just learn how to say "repeat" and "sign slowly please, i am an ASL student" and youll be fine..

or maybe it just helps that i am a younger girl too.. i tend to get a lot of Deaf guys numbers :giggle:



oh quick tip: i wear earplugs so i am less tempted to speak and more likely to sign. some of the people there are like "what is in your ears? weirdo.." but hey, it works! i just have to remember to take them out.. last time i passed out in my bed with them in. haha.
 
HelloNurse said:
thick skinned? really? ive always been welcomed, from the first DPHH i went to where i could barely say anything in ASL besides my name and wheres the bathroom. lol i went by myself the first time and the only person i knew was my ASL teacher. i left with like 3 phone numbers! this month will be my 5th one, and now i roll in there with my Deaf/HOH possee, and i have learned so much more ASL.. My teacher has told me I am progressing faster than most in my class because I have been hanging out in the Deaf community and she can tell it is helping me out.

Anyway, my point is-- do it! and from my experience no one was mean, everyone is really helpful and patient when i have to fingerspell a lot because my vocabulary is not so big yet.. just learn how to say "repeat" and "sign slowly please, i am an ASL student" and youll be fine..

or maybe it just helps that i am a younger girl too.. i tend to get a lot of Deaf guys numbers :giggle:



oh quick tip: i wear earplugs so i am less tempted to speak and more likely to sign. some of the people there are like "what is in your ears? weirdo.." but hey, it works! i just have to remember to take them out.. last time i passed out in my bed with them in. haha.
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Glad to hear your experience has been so positive. When I was a newcomer to all of this, mine was, as well.

I've said it before, but I think it bears repeating. The reaction you get from the deaf community most often has nothing to do with them, but with the way you present yourself to them. The same can be said of any community you are attempting to get involved with.
 
jillio said:
Glad to hear your experience has been so positive. When I was a newcomer to all of this, mine was, as well.

I've said it before, but I think it bears repeating. The reaction you get from the deaf community most often has nothing to do with them, but with the way you present yourself to them. The same can be said of any community you are attempting to get involved with.
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i agree. i have seen other people from ASL class go and just sit in the corner, not interacting at all, and then wonder why no one is coming up to THEM. They see that I am friendly with some people and ask me to introduce them, which is fine, but theyll just say "Hello. My name is ___" then stand there awkwardly, then sit back down and not say anything else the whole night. Then I can see why some people would be annoyed with them. They annoy me too.


Funny side story, last time one of the other students came up to me and said "How do you say 'Do'?"
Me: Why?
Girl:I want to say "What do you do for fun?"
Me: just say "Fun You?" with an inquisitive face. Theyll know what you mean.
Girl: That doesnt make any sense. *proceeds to go up to Deaf guy and sign WHAT-DO-YOU-DO-FOR-FUN?

*face palm*
 
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